Chapter 45

CHAPTER45

“Everything’s going to be okay, Mikey,” Uncle Jason said as he pulled into her driveway while Mikey struggled to keep it together.

“Mikey, I’m-”

“It’s fine,” Mikey bit out as she sat there, staring straight ahead. As soon as Uncle Jason put the truck in park, she was climbing over Sebastian, shoving the door open seconds before she was jumping out of the truck and heading inside.

“Mikey, what’s wrong?” her mother asked when she ran inside and kept going, needing to make it upstairs before she lost it. By the time she reached her room, Sebastian was already sitting outside her window, staring down at his hands.

He didn’t say anything, and at the moment, Mikey truly appreciated that as she climbed onto her bed and closed her eyes as she struggled to get Nicole’s words out of her head. When she felt her bed dip a little while later, Mikey opened her eyes to find her mother sitting by her side.

“Uncle Jason told me what happened. Do you want to talk about it?” her mother asked as she reached over and took Mikey’s hand in hers.

“No,” Mikey said hollowly as she turned her head to find Sebastian still sitting outside her window.

“Why didn’t you tell us what was going on at school?”

“Because it didn’t matter,” Mikey said as she slowly exhaled as she stared up at the ceiling.

There was a slight pause before her mother said, “She never should have said that about your father.”

“No, she shouldn’t have,” Mikey said flatly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Mikey said because the last thing that she wanted to do right now was have this conversation.

“You never ask about your father, Mikey,” her mother said, pausing to give her hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay if you want to talk about him.”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” Mikey said, staring straight ahead.

“Is it because you think you’ll upset your Dad?”

“No,” Mikey said, slowly exhaling.

“Then, what is it?”

“I don’t want to upset you,” Mikey finally admitted.

“Why would you think that talking about your father would upset me?” her mother asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“Because you’re afraid that you’re going to lose me too,” Mikey said, pulling her hand away as she sat up.

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing. Forget it,” Mikey said, shaking her head as she stood up.

“No, I’m not going to forget it, Mikey,” her mother said as Reese walked into the room, the look on his face let her know that he already knew what happened at school.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Mikey said, needing to put some space between them.

“Mikey, I-”

Closing her eyes, Mikey slowly exhaled as she said, “You cry.”

“What?” her mother said, frowning when Mikey opened her eyes and said, “You cry.”

“I know why you take me to see the doctor three times a year when most people only go once. I know why a week before my appointment you go out of your way to cook all my favorite food, why you spend more time with me, find excuses to hold me, and watch baseball with me even though you hate it, and I know that you come into my room at night when you think I’m sleeping and watch me.”

“I’ve seen the way that your hands shake when they draw my blood and the way that you watch your phone for the next week, waiting for the doctor to tell you that everything’s okay. When that phone call finally comes, I know that the first thing you do is lock yourself in the bathroom and blast music so that I don’t hear you crying,” Mikey bit out as she angrily wiped at her eyes.

“I see the terror in your eyes whenever I’m sick or I have a headache or mention that I’m tired. I know that you think that I’m going to get sick. That’s why I don’t bring my father up because I know that you’re scared that you’re going to lose me, too,” Mikey finished in a rush while she stood there, watching her mother swallow hard as she watched her.

“I don’t think I’d survive losing you, Mikey,” her mother finally admitted.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Mikey said, shaking her head as she reached up with trembling hands and wiped the tears off her face.

“Why haven’t you signed the adoption papers, Mikey?” Reese asked quietly, making her swallow hard as she looked at him and-

“Because I don’t want to be a Bradford.”

“Because you don’t want to be my daughter,” Reese said hollowly.

Shaking her head, Mikey said, “It doesn’t matter whose name is on my birth certificate. You’re my Dad, but I feel like if I say yes and I officially become a Bradford that I’ll be erasing the last part of my father and I just…I just can’t do that to him. I know that it doesn’t make any sense, but I just can’t do it. I can’t take away the only thing left of him.”

“You don’t need to sign a piece of paper to be my little girl, Mikey,” Reese said as he reached over and pulled her into his arms. “I love you, Mikey, even if you are the biggest pain in my ass.”

“I get that a lot,” Mikey mumbled, feeling Reese’s lips pull up into a smile against her forehead as she looked over at her window in time to watch Sebastian walk away.