Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

When I get home, Mami calls out, “Kiki? Is that you? I’ve got some madeleines from that new bakery—”

“I don’t want any!” I snap, and rush up the stairs. I lock my bedroom door and lean against it, breathing hard. God, Mami better not come up here and try to talk to me. I listen through the door for a bit, but I don’t hear her footsteps coming up the stairs. Good. With a sigh, I park myself at my computer and fire up Warfront Heroes. There’s no other way to describe how I’m feeling aside from completely destructive. I’m angry. So freaking angry. My talk with Principal Lin keeps resurfacing in my mind, and each time I get a flash of his sneering face and patronizing tone, the rage inside me burns hotter, licking at my flesh and consuming all of me. And the feeling of helplessness on top of it only makes it even worse. I want to scream. I want to grab hold of the fabric of society and yank hard, watch everything come tumbling down.

And so I log on to Warfront Heroes. Sourdawg isn’t online; he doesn’t usually log on until after nine p.m. I join the queue for a round at Silmerrov Gulch and choose to play as Heartcrusher, an elf who dual-wields a sword and an axe. The next fifteen minutes are spent stabbing and slashing away with abandon at the enemy group, and by the end of the battle—which my team won—I’m feeling ever so slightly less murderous. But all that replaces the rage is bitterness. I don’t feel satisfied. So what if I’ve taken out my anger on a stupid online game? So what if my Warfront Heroes ranking has just risen by a point? None of it matters. I’m still at the bottom of the hierarchy at my new school. My principal is still a misogynistic, patronizing ass. And my classmates are still under Jonas’s spell.

Jonas. The thought of him makes my upper lip curl with revulsion. Ugh. I can’t remember the last time I despised someone as much as Jonas. I think of his smug smile and his obnoxious voice, and that’s when I recall the Titanimus sticker on his notebook, along with his WH handle. What was it again? It was something so very Jonas. Like BigDick or HugeAsshole or…GoldenDragonLord. Yes! That’s it.

I go into my Socials tab and type in GoldenDragonLord. And there it is. TheGoldenDragonLord, location: Indonesia. And the dot on the left side of his name is green. My heart rate increases dramatically. Jonas is currently online. An evil grin takes over my entire face as I move my cursor over to his name and click on the heart icon to its right. Liking TheGoldenDragonLord means that I enjoy playing with him, which would encourage the algorithm to increase the likelihood that TheGoldenDragonLord and Dudebro10 would run into the same battles.

With that settled, I join the queue for another round of Silmerrov Gulch. Heh-heh. I rub my hands together and twirl an imaginary evil mustache as I wait to be logged on to a battle. The moment I’m on, I quickly open up the list of players and scan it for Jonas. Damn it. No stupid dragon lords in this round. I log off the battle, go back to the home screen, and join the queue for a different round. It takes me a minute longer to get into a new battle this time, because the algorithm doesn’t like quitters; the more you quit, the longer you have to wait to join the next game. But it’s worth it.

This time, when I call up the players list, his name leaps out at me as though it were written in all caps and neon colors. THEGOLDENDRAGONLORD. My grip on my mouse tightens, and I bare my teeth at the screen. Maybe I’m grinning, maybe I’m growling, who knows? Jonas isn’t even going to know what hit him. I choose my character: the Shadow Stalker. Heh-heh. My primary weapons are two short daggers, because I’m going to kill Jonas at close range. I want to see the look on his face when I—well, okay, I won’t be able to see the look on his face, because this is just an online game, yada yada. But I like the idea of stepping very close to Jonas right before I kill his character.

Unfortunately for Jonas, the new skin that he’s just spent a buttload of money on is very, very flashy. Titanimus is a huge warrior with shoulders as wide as he is tall, and his new armor is a painfully shiny gold plate. It’s very impressive. It also means I easily spot Jonas within the crowd of players from a mile away. Heh-heh. As soon as the battle begins and everyone charges forward and clashes in the middle of the battleground, I guide my character to the periphery, away from the main action. Halfway through, I engage my character’s superpower: the shadow stance, which is a partial invisibility skill. I’m not quite invisible, as that would make me overpowered, but I fade into the background like a shadow, and only players who are looking out for me would spot me.

I move silkily, past fighting bodies, following the beacon of shining armor that is Jonas. He’s waving his giant sword around and making all these showy moves. I creep up until I’m right behind him, then I disengage the shadow stance. There’s a beautiful moment where Jonas’s character stops moving, and I can practically see Jonas behind his computer going, “Oh, shit.” Then I plunge my dagger into the back of his neck, at an exposed sliver of flesh between his helmet and his body armor. Just in case that doesn’t do the trick, I press a couple of keys, bringing up my other dagger and slashing his throat with it. The words “No. of Kills: 1!” pop up onto my screen, and my grin is so huge that my cheeks legit hurt. I watch as Jonas’s character tumbles onto the ground and slowly fades away. Mwahaha!

It takes thirty seconds for a character to respawn after they die, so I quickly engage the shadow stance once more, before Jonas’s teammates can get to me. Luckily, they’re all still distracted by the fierce battle around me. I walk past them and straight to the enemy quarters, where Jonas will respawn, and I wait patiently. Just as expected, there’s a flash of light, and Jonas’s character appears at the respawning station. I don’t even let him take a single step before I rush forward and stab him multiple times. He crumples to the ground and disappears just as the words “No. of Kills: 2!” appear on my screen.

This time, the chat window explodes with a stream of expletives.

TheGoldenDragonLord: WTF??!! WHAT THE F***??!!!

Warfront Heroesautomatically censors swear words, but I got the gist. Still smirking, I type out a short and sweet response.

:)

TheGoldenDragonLord:F*** YOU, DUDEBRO, YOU F***ING LITTLE S*** I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU

Dudebro10:Why are you so sensitive? It’s just a game.

I notice a flicker at the respawning station and bite my lip to hold back from laughing, because here is Jonas, about to reappear. It’s almost too cruel. Almost. I giggle as I kill him for the third time.

F***!!!!!!!! YOU F***ING USELESS TEAM WHERE THE F*** ARE YOU ALL I’M GETTING GRIEFED BY SOME F***ING COWARDLY BACKSTABBER COME HELP ME YOU A*******!!!!!

Dudebro10:Wow, is that how you talk to your teammates? No wonder they won’t help you. You know, you catch more flies with honey.

TheGoldenDragonLord:I REPORTED YOU FOR GRIEFING ME, YOU C***

Wow, he used the C-word. He must be really angry. I click on his name and select the Report button. When a window opens up, I copy/paste Jonas’s chat message and hit Send. Two of us can play the reporting game, Jonas.

Hey, guys, stop f***ing around and join the actual battle. DragonLord, we rly need a tank here.

TheGoldenDragonLord:HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENING, I’M TRYING TO GET TO THE BATTLE BUT THIS LITTLE S*** IS CAMPING ON THE RESPAWN STATION

AryaStarkFan:Uhh, so kill him. He’s a little Shadow Stalker. One hit from your hammer will destroy him. God, you suck

Dudebro10:Arya is not wrong. ;) It takes me a few stabs to get to you, but you could easily kill me in a hit. I guess you just suck at the game

TheGoldenDragonLord:F*** ALL OF YOU

<TheGoldenDragonLord has left the battle>

Oh. Oh ho ho. Jonas rage-quit. I stare at the computer in disbelief for a couple of seconds. I did that. I made him so angry that he quit mid-game, which would severely slash his ranking, because if there’s one thing that’s universally unaccepted on Warfront Heroes, it’s people quitting mid-battle. It leaves your teammates seriously screwed, being one person short. With Jonas gone, I rejoin the main fight, and we defeat his team in record time. By the time the round ends, I’m breathless. I feel like I’ve come back to life.

I log off, feeling rejuvenated enough to take a shower and deal with the rest of the day’s work, i.e., the ridiculous mountain of homework that Xingfa assigns us every day. When I complained about it to Sourdawg last night, he said it’s something many schools do to make sure that their students don’t have any time to go out and “cause trouble.” I put on my headphones, play my “homework playlist,” and get to work. I’m only halfway done when Papi calls out for me to come down for dinner.

Dinner is— How do I say this without coming off like a complete brat? It’s awkward, because there’s someone at the table who is extremely surly and grumpy. That someone is me, by the way. I’m surly and grumpy. But hey, I’ve got good reason to be this way. Mami, Papi, and I used to chat about our day over dinner, but tonight, when they ask me how my day went, I say, “Well, it was truly awful, if you must know. How much longer do I have to stay in this school from hell?”

Papi sighs. “Sayang, you must try to fit in. Xingfa is the best school in the nation. Its reputation is sterling.”

“You know,” Mami adds, “half of Xingfa’s graduates go to Ivy Leagues or Oxbridge!”

“Right,” I mutter, “uh-huh. So you’re saying that I’m not settling in not because there’s something wrong with the school. Oh no, it must mean that I’m the problem.”

“That’s not what we’re saying at all,” Papi says. His eyebrows are furrowed. “What’s going on, Kiki? Why are you not settling in?”

I almost blurt out that I was, in fact, sent to the principal’s office today. But then I recall how Principal Lin sneered at me, how he kept saying I needed to learn respect and honor, and for some weird reason, shame floods me. I don’t understand it, but I feel red-hot guilt surging through me, like I’ve somehow let my parents down. Part of me is shouting: No! This isn’t at all your fault! But the other part is going: Well, actually, it is? What kind of idiot calls their classmate a twat? That’s actually really shitty.

No, I can’t possibly tell Mami and Papi. For one thing, they’d both be horrified by me calling anyone a twat, and for another, if they were to find out that the person I’d called a twat was Jonas freaking Arifin, son of the Arifin empire, I think Mami would have an actual brain aneurysm.

I eat as fast as I can before telling them—grumpily—that I have to finish my homework.

Hey, you’re on later than usual

The sight of his screen name does things to my stomach. My heart lurches up, lodging itself in my throat and nearly choking me. I wonder if it’s actually possible to be strangled by your own heart.

Who is Sourdawg? Inquiring minds need to know! My fingers hover over the keyboard, aching to type out: What’s your name IRL?

But if I asked him that, he’d probably ask me the same question, and then I’d have to lie to him. Even more than I already have, that is. And also, what if he gets suspicious, like why the hell am I asking now, after over a year of online friendship? Maybe it might even get him to start wondering what could have triggered the question. Arrrgh! I shake off all the squeaking my mind is doing and make myself answer like I normally would.

Oh man, you wouldn’t believe the amount of homework I just had to wade through. Brutal!

Sourdawg:Haha, you mean you’re finally getting the NORMAL amount of homework?

I can’t help smiling at that. A few months ago, Sourdawg and I compared homework, and he was scandalized to find that his school was assigning double the amount of homework that Mingyang was. Of course, now that I know he goes to Xingfa, this makes a lot more sense.

Well, I don’t know how you do it

Sourdawg:You’ll get used to it. How was school? Any better today?

Dudebro10:God, if anything, it was even worse. I had to talk to the principal.

As soon as I hit Enter, my breath catches and I jolt up in my seat. Shit! I shouldn’t have said that! Everyone at Xingfa probably knows by now that I was sent to the principal’s office. Oh god, oh god, damage control:

It was my own choice, I wasn’t sent there or anything.

Oh god, that’s so painfully obvious. I pinch the bridge of my nose.

Wow, okay. Why?

Dudebro10:Oh, just…well, I’m noticing quite a bit of bullying at my school. IDK, that kind of thing rly bothers me

Sourdawg:Yeah. That’s rly good of you to report it. What did the principal say?

Dudebro10:That’s the thing, tho. He was basically like, “Eh, the boy was just calling the girl names because he likes her. Don’t make such a big deal out of it.”

Sourdawg:Oof. That rly sucks, but I can’t say I’m surprised

Dudebro10:Rly?? I was shocked

Sourdawg:That’s ’cuz you’ve been spoiled by your hippie school. Haven’t you read the news recently? There’s that case in—I can’t remember, it might have been Thailand—where this girl reported her classmate for harassment and got expelled

Dudebro10:WHAT?

Sourdawg:Yeah, dude. That’s not even unique. She only got some press because she happens to be a YouTube star. Then there’s that case in Malaysia where this boy said he was dunked in the trash by his classmate, and they were BOTH expelled for “besmirching the reputation of the school.”

Dudebro10:Wait, WHAT? They expelled the poor boy for being bullied?

Sourdawg:Yesss. It’s a thing! How do you not know this? It’s a problem all over Asia. And the thing is, when students report bullying, a lot of the time, the schools are only concerned about saving face. Otherwise the school might LOSE FACE #shockhorror

Dudebro10:Wow, okay. That rly sucks. I guess I sort of knew about it, but I had no idea it was this bad

Sourdawg:Yeah. I rly hate that about our cultures. You know how I’ve been going to therapy ever since my mom left?

Dudebro10:Yeah, you said it’s been rly helpful, right?

Sourdawg:Yeah, I love my therapist. She’s rly cool. But anyway, she’s also a secret. Like, my dad basically told me I couldn’t tell anyone else—not my cousins or friends or our relatives—about her

Dudebro10:Jesus

Sourdawg:Yep. Because if anyone knew that I was seeing a therapist, they’d be like, “Omg he’s craaazy!” and then WHAT WOULD PEOPLE THINK OMGGG

Dudebro10:OMG WE WOULD LOSE SO MUCH FACE

Sourdawg:ALL OF IT, ALL THE FACE

Dudebro10:LMAO

Sourdawg:

Dudebro10:Hey srsly tho, thanks for telling me. I feel honored and stuff

And really, really guilty, because Sourdawg has no idea that he’s just told a schoolmate. God, I seriously need to find out who Sourdawg is IRL.

Just as I think that, my phone beeps. It’s a message from a group chat called Lil’ Aunties. Ah, good timing. I open it with just a tad of trepidation.

Eleanor Roosevelt:Ci Kiki! Guess what? You are all set to go on your first ever Lil’ Aunties–sanctioned date

I hurriedly type “BBL” to Sourdawg before typing out a message to Lil’ Aunties.

Cool, who’s it with?

SJP:Jeremiah Riady. He’s an above-average specimen of the teenage male

My mouth quirks into a smile. These girls, I swear.

Above-average specimen of the teenage male, huh? Wow, you’re really selling this hard

Eleanor Roosevelt:That’s actually our highest category. We have “Above average,” “Average,” “Below average,” and “Unfit”

Was I ever this smart and cool when I was their age? Oh, who am I kidding? I’m still nowhere near as smart or cool.

Sounds good. I’m looking forward to it!

Operation Find Out Who Sourdawg Is is officially underway.