12. Kat

12

I could never have guessed my day would end like this.

Over the past week, there were countless instances when I was too weak to stop fantasizing about Nik, but I never imagined I would end up tied to his bed, completely at his mercy.

Well, that's not true.

After all, I had longed for such an enticing scenario on more than one occasion. But the context and circumstances of my daydream were much, much different.

For starters, in my mind, my fantasy man was nothing but the sexy-as-hell, passionate lover I had assumed he was. He was just Nik.

No last name, no colorful background.

I didn't expect him to be my latest mark, the owner of the Flame of Mir.

I most certainly never thought he could be Nikolai Stefanovich, the Russian bratva's pakhan.

I'm old enough to know that things are never so bad that they can't get worse. I thought my troubles with the stronzo were the worst thing that could ever happen to me. But my life has just become much more complicated.

There are now not one, but two mafia bosses who believe they own me.

And although I have always known that I'm fully capable of turning the tables on the Italian mobster if given half the chance, I'm not foolish enough to believe the same about Nikolai.

The Russian man inspires fear in the likes of men I've learned to dread. Even cutthroat evil-doers like the stronzo wouldn't dare get on the pakhan's bad side.

And I've brazenly taken from him his most prized possession.

And, of course, as I know very well, when it rains, it pours. Not only is he aware of the crime I've committed against him, but he also thinks I'm involved with his best friend's murder for some reason.

Now I'm forced to sit before him, utterly helpless in the lion's own den. Whatever distress I've felt before concerning the stronzo pales in comparison to the wave of panic that shakes me when I think of the horrors Nikolai is capable of unleashing on me.

More than anything else in the world, I despise feeling helpless. Throughout my twenty-something years on this planet, I've been many things. An orphan. A petty thief. A juvenile delinquent. But throughout it all, I was never a victim.

True, eventually, I got out of the system and found a way to pursue a new, better life.

But I've never thought of myself as a victim. Even during the darkest periods of my younger years, I've always kept fighting and taking action. I've always strived to improve my circumstances, and I've succeeded magnificently.

As my skills grew, so did my power. I haven't felt genuinely helpless or hopeless in many, many years.

Until now.

Even during the worst days of our struggle against the stronzo, I've always known we were bound to catch a break eventually. And I've been confident in my ability to seize the opportunity when it presented itself. Maybe I haven't always been sure of the how or the when, but I've always felt I could defeat the Italian boss.

I even took care to account for the worst-case scenario of my untimely demise. If the man were to order my execution, then I'd have a plan in place to make sure he would be implicated in my assassination.

One way or the other, he was going down. I was just hoping it would be sooner rather than later and that A.J. and I would live long enough to see it come to fruition.

Now, with Nikolai, I feel truly at a loss. I hate even thinking about it, but I fear I might be as close to being helpless as I was back in my teenage years.

Still, I know I retain some of my power. I'll never be entirely helpless as long as I have ways to improve my circumstances and save myself. I know I have options. Unfortunately, not many, and not particularly good ones, either. But it's something.

Ultimately, that's what leads me to entertain this proposal of his—that I should help him catch the culprit behind his friend's mysterious murder.

Turning to face me from across the large room by the expansive windows, he decrees, "You are going to help me catch Maxim's murderer."

Normally, I would have laughed at any man who presumed to tell me what to do. But even I know that would be unwise right now. Men like Nikolai—if one can even say there are men like Nikolai—are not used to being laughed at. They are also not likely to appreciate it, and I realize that not antagonizing him can only improve my situation, giving me more power.

Besides, my current options are slim. I'm a practical woman. If Nikolai feels inclined to offer me an acceptable arrangement that will eventually lead to my debt to him being repaid, then I will gladly take it. It certainly isn't anything I'm not used to, and it most definitely beats being tortured or killed. I'll be glad if he doesn't choose to make an example out of me as a warning to anyone who dares to even think of crossing him.

So, instead of ridiculing him for having the nerve to issue me a command, I say, "What's in it for me?"

Nikolai shoots me a disbelieving look.

"For starters, I would let you remain in the world of the living. I might even be persuaded not to punish you too much. I'd hate to mark that beautiful skin of yours if I don't have to," he says in a measured tone, his gaze slowly roaming over my body. The knowing look in his eyes tells me he remembers every inch of me, making me feel almost naked, even while fully covered by his Egyptian cotton bed linen.

"You wouldn't punish me too much? Does that mean you would still punish me?"

I pull the sheets up to my chin, and his expression becomes amused.

"Well, you can't expect me to let you get away with the stunt you pulled on me completely unscathed. I have a reputation to protect, you know. At the very least, I owe you a good spanking. I don't know that I would call it a punishment. I have a feeling you would enjoy it."

God help me. I do, too. The mere mental image of Nikolai bending me over his knee and slapping my bare ass with his large, callused palm makes me start to grow wet.

I must remain in charge of myself. I can't let my emotions take control of me. My survival depends on my ability to stay focused.

"I thought you said this arrangement of yours wasn't of that kind, Nikolai. Sex is not on the table."

"Agreed," he says, too quickly for my taste. It's one thing for me to tell him sex is a no-go, but for him to so easily turn it down? I don't like that one bit. "We'll keep it strictly professional. It's better off this way."

I force myself to concentrate on the important stuff—like hashing out the details of our agreement—instead of licking the wounds to my ego.

"Glad we are on the same page," I say in my best aloof tone. "Just to be clear—do you give me your word that if I help you hunt down whoever is behind your friend's death, you will forget this whole thing with the diamond ever happened and let me go? No other repercussions or retributions."

"Forget is a strong word, Kat. And I'm not quite ready to accept that the Flame is truly out of reach forever, as you claim to believe. But I do agree with everything else you said in general terms. If you earnestly assist me to the best of your abilities, I'll forgive you for the theft."

"Very well. That's good enough for now, I guess. I have one more question, though. How the hell am I supposed to help you catch a murderer?"

"We can discuss the details later once you've given me your word that you'll work for me. For now, all I'll say is that I know who is behind Maxim's death. Unfortunately, I can't just accuse this man without some pretty damning evidence. Not without risking a truly regrettable amount of even more death and bloodshed, at least."

"I don't suppose you would tell me who this suspect of yours is? I can't imagine there are many men who would cause you to hesitate before striking. No offense, but from what I've heard about you and what I've experienced firsthand, you seem to be the kind of guy who will shoot first and ask questions later."

He grins.

"In due time, I'll fill you in. All you need to know right now is that I'm hoping you will be able to go certain places and ask certain questions that I can't. You are charming and famously good at what you do. Doors will open to you."

I roll my eyes. "Be still, my heart."

Nik smiles again, all charm.

"It makes you the perfect woman for the job."

"Lucky me," I say sarcastically. "And lucky you, I guess, that the ‘perfect woman for the job' happened to be someone you could bully into doing your bidding."

"Lucky me?" Nikolai roars, marching over to me until he is so close I feel his warm breath on my face as he leans over to scold me. "My best friend was murdered in cold blood. A diamond worth over a quarter billion dollars with personal value to me was taken by a woman I naively thought was just as attracted to me as I was to her. You should be thanking your lucky stars that I'm showing you mercy. Any other man in my position would've made you wish you had never been born. Keep pushing me, and I might change my mind and do just that."

I stare up at him in awe of his passionate outburst. I'm in awe of my stupidity, too. Because even as he threatens to torture me in ways I can't even imagine, I can't stop thinking he is the most magnificent man I've ever met.

I suppose it was unavoidable that I would be attracted to him. He is, after all, a ridiculously powerful man, and I revere power above almost all else. I sensed it in him somehow, even when I didn't know his true identity.

I stretch out my hand to touch his chest over his shirt in an attempt to calm him down as he continues to stare at me angrily,

"If you kill me," I say in my most soothing tone, "then you'll have to content yourself with having only the second-best woman for the job helping you."

He seems shocked at my words for a second. I guess not many people talk back at him when he loses his temper like he just did. After a moment, I see his lips twitch in what I hope is amusement.

He straightens himself, running a hand through his luscious, dark hair. I'm pretty sure I see him shake his head, but the movement is so tiny I'm not confident I didn't just imagine it.

"Does that mean you will agree to my terms?"

"Well, I have one last question."

"You said that already, and then you asked me five more questions."

"Well, I mean it this time. I need to know one more thing. From what I gathered from the very little you told me, the man we are going after is very dangerous."

"Correct," Nikolai says, his gaze sharp and focused on me.

"It also sounds like I'll be risking my neck on the front line. And considering you are who you are, I'm going to take a wild guess and say this guy also has mafia ties. No offense, but my history with mafia men hasn't been the best, so I have to ask—should I be concerned for myself? Will he be able to hurt me in any way?"

Nikolai freezes for a second before frowning.

"Over my dead body," he says in a grave tone, sounding insulted I had even asked. "Here's something you should know about me, Kat. I take very good care of the people who work for me. You may have come to my service through unconventional ways, but that doesn't mean I won't take my responsibility towards you very seriously. I'm not in the business of having others—especially women—do my dirty work for me."

His eyes burn into mine, and I feel shaken to my core. He's the most delicious man I have ever encountered, but fate has a cruel sense of humor, so I can't have him.

"Okay," I say at last, once I realize I've been staring at him without uttering a word. "Thanks, I think. I'm glad we got that sorted out. I wouldn't agree to your terms if it meant I was just jumping from the frying pan and into the fire."

"Let me make something perfectly clear to you, Kat. That bastard is not taking anyone else from me. As long as you stick to our understanding, you're under my protection," Nikolai says almost solemnly.

His intensity and confidence in his ability to keep me safe are like a beacon to me. I know I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and I thoroughly prize my independence. I certainly don't need Nikolai to look out for me. But there is something positively irresistible about a man fiercely vowing to protect you, especially one who looks as devastating as he does, sounds as sexy as he does, and smells as delicious as he does.

I know this will be a dangerous game. I have to keep my wits about me at all costs, and it is impossible to do so when he stands so close to me. But I'm out of options. First and foremost, I have to look out for myself and seize my best chance of surviving to fight another day.

"Very well, Nikolai. You got yourself a deal. I accept your terms," I say almost ominously, sealing my fate—for better or worse.