Jauhnna Chapter 10

I was about to lose my mind. Diablo would have to cart me off to the looney bin soon. There were a couple of things contributing to my insanity. To start, it was the waiting. This sitting here as the club, the Dark Patriots, and who knows who else worked on getting whatever information they needed in order to go after Galway, Janus, and the others, was maddening.

Now that I'd come around to the idea they would be able to remove them from the picture in a permanent way without it affecting the club or others in negative ways, I wanted them gone. I was allowing my inner hatred of them to surface. In the past, I worked to contain it because there was no way to do anything about it. Even if I'd found a way to send them to prison, they would just find ways to make my life hell from behind bars. This solution lets those emotions come out. It was cathartic in a way. I wanted them purged.

Diablo kept telling me the time it was taking wasn't an indication they weren't able to do the job. They liked to have everything laid out with no surprises. Since they had done this before, I trusted them to know what they were doing. It was just the waiting. It meant I had to stay inside the compound, and as much as I loved to read, I was bored to tears. There were no women around for me to talk to. It took nothing to keep the house clean and laundry done, though he tried to tell me not to do it. I would cook dinner most nights to have something to do. It wasn't enough. I was used to working all day.

The one thing I'd begun to do was spend time with the horses every day and learn from Cowboy how to care for them. It reminded me of my job at the animal shelter in Georgia. I found the animals gave me comfort and a sense of peace. I identified with them. They were in need of love, and so was I. I missed them and wondered who my employer got to replace me and if they were good to them.

I'd also been stressing about my apartment and possessions. I didn't want everything to be thrown out. When I mentioned it to Diablo, he informed me my apartment was okay, and so was my stuff. Then he revealed he was paying the rent and had contacted the landlord with the excuse that I had to leave without warning to care for a sick family member. He informed him I had no idea how long I would be gone. I was touched that Diablo thought of it, but I hated him spending more money on me. Recalling that discussion, I smiled.

We were sitting in the living room, and I'd been telling him about the horses. That led to me mentioning the shelter and my apartment in Savannah and, subsequently, his revelation.

"Victor, please know I appreciate you thinking of doing something like that. It's so sweet, but I can't have you continue to pay for it unless you agree to let me pay you back once I'm back to work. The same goes for the clothing and other things you've bought since I've been here."

"Darlin', you can't stop me from paying for it. As for you paying me back for rent or anything else, the answer is no. I won't take your money."

I gasped. "Yes, you will! I have money. You know, why don't we take a trip? I'll go to where I have my secret emergency stash. I can get it, repay you, and continue my rent payments. It's not near my work or apartment, so it's highly doubtful anyone would spot me," I said excitedly.

He shook his head. "No. I'm not letting you near Savannah. I can afford to pay. It won't break me."

"Whether it will or not isn't the point. I can take care of myself. You and the club are doing more than enough for me already. This is too much. I feel like a user. Doing a tiny bit of cleaning, laundry, and cooking is hardly repayment," I protested.

We were on the couch and had been half-watching an action movie when we started talking. When I made the user comment, I was hauled up and over until I was straddling his lap. His hands were on my hips, holding me there. His eyes were narrowed on me.

"I don't want to hear you refer to yourself as a user again, you hear me? You're far from one. I wouldn't begrudge anyone this money if they're in true need, so why would I begrudge it when it's you? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you and I together? You're mine, and I'm yours, right? If our roles were reversed, would you expect me to pay you back?"

"Of course, I wouldn't, but it's not the same."

"Yes, it is. Are you gonna keep arguing with me?" He cocked a brow at me.

"It's a conversation," I said in a sassy tone.

My new sassiness earned me a light swat to my ass then he was devouring my mouth. We kissed until I was dazed, panting, and forgot what we were talking about. When I remembered it the next day, he refused to debate about it, the stubborn man.

All those were stressful, but the biggest thing that had me feeling so insane was the sexual tension between us. It was growing worse every day, heck, every hour. He found reasons to frequently touch me, although not in an overtly sexual way. I did the same. I loved being connected to him, no matter how insignificantly. Kisses were always a must, according to him, and when we did, they heated my blood to a boil and left us both sexually frustrated. I knew he was because he sported raging erections the majority of the time. He wasn't embarrassed to let me see them, either. They tempted me to reach out and cup him. I was on the brink of begging him to take me, which was something I never thought I'd do with a man.

At night, when I went to bed alone, I'd dream of him and the things I wanted him to do to me. I wasn't sure if I'd find them all pleasurable, but the women in the books I read seemed to love men doing those things to them. I was resorting to touching myself and bringing myself to an orgasm over and over. I achieved them, but it wasn't enough. I would still ache and burn after coming.

Lying here in the dark, recollecting all the times I had and even tonight's session, I moaned aloud. God, make it stop. My boobs throbbed and felt swollen and hot. My pussy was aching and so slick. I squeezed my legs together and then rolled onto my side. The movement made me whimper. It was no use. I had to try again. Diablo had gone to bed when I did over an hour ago. He should be sound asleep. No worries that he'd hear me. Earlier, I'd done it in the shower.

Rolling out of bed, I shed my nightgown and panties. I was too hot to have those on. Lying back down, I closed my eyes and pictured Diablo with me. In my head, I knew what I was doing and was a confident woman. I was standing in front of him as he reclined on the bed. I was naked, and I was enticing him with the sway of my body and how I was touching myself.

He was naked, too, and was watching me intently while his fist encircled his erection and he stroked his long length. His gaze was bright as he scanned my body. This vision had me slipping my hand between my legs and through my folds. Slick heat coated my fingers. The friction over my clit made me cry out. My hips jerked off the bed.

Wanting to come as fast as possible, I pressed harder and rubbed faster. On my downward slide, I thrust my finger inside of my pussy and pumped a few times before moving back up to tease my clit. I continued to imagine him rising from the bed and coming to me. His hands began touching my body, homing in on my chest and between my legs as his mouth skimmed my body. It wasn't enough, so I brought my other hand up to my boobs and ran it back and forth over my taut nipples. More of my cream released on my other hand. I was quickly building to the release. Feeling extra needy, as I kept Diablo firmly in my head, I tweaked my left nipple at the same time I pinched my clit.

The fire and sensation it made streaked through my body and made me utter a small scream. I bit my bottom lip to stifle it before I got loud enough to be heard. Only I was too late. As my outburst died on my lips, the door to my room came crashing open. I screamed for real, this time in panic.

Seeing Diablo standing there in nothing but a pair of shorts, his eyes glued to me and what I was doing, made me freeze. He took a step into my room, then another. I couldn't look away, nor did I remove my hands. He stalked to the bed like a predator coming up on his prey. When he reached the bed, my mind began to work again, and I tried to grab the comforter to cover myself. Mortification had my cheeks burning hot, and I knew they were bright red. I wished the bed would swallow me. His barked command made me freeze.

"Stop! Don't. Don't cover yourself. Please. Jesus, Jauhnna, I'm sorry, but I've got to look at you. Do you know what seeing you like this does to me? Do you?" he asked in a low, husky voice. I saw the erection pressing out against his shorts, and I licked my lips without thinking. He groaned.

"Baby, don't look at my cock tenting my damn shorts and then lick those lips. It makes me want to let you have a taste. The thought of those lips of yours wrapped around my cock, taking me inside that sweet mouth, is torture. Christ, I've got to go. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have barged in here," he said before turning to head for the door.

I knew his departure would hurt. I was scared, but my desire exceeded my fear. Taking a deep breath, I let myself say what I had been dying to say for days.

"Don't leave. Stay with me. Please. I need you."

He halted but kept his back to me. He was shaking his head and had it bowed. "Darlin', if I stay, I'll be on that bed with you, and I'll be begging you to let me touch you, taste you. I know full-out sex is out of the question, but God, the things we could do short of me putting my cock inside of you, the orgasms I can give you. I want to make you scream in ecstasy," he muttered. His words made my temperature rise and my body throb for more.

"I'm scared," I confessed.

He groaned. "Babe, you don't need to be. I'll leave." He took another step.

"No! That's not what I mean or want. I'm scared that I'll chicken out or I won't be what you want or can give you what you need. I've never enjoyed sex with a man, you know that. What if I can't? I want you. Please don't think for a second I don't. I'm just unsure." I tugged the sheet up over me.

"Jauhnna, there's nothing you can do or not do that'll turn me off. I want to explore so much with you, but it will always be your choice. If you say no, then it's no. Believe me, there are plenty of ways to get sexual gratification. I'm scared too, you know."

This surprised me. He still had his back to me. He was too far away. I wanted him next to me, even if all we did was talk.

"Come join me. Tell me why you would be scared. You have no reason to be. I'm the one who's broken, not you."

He swung around and came charging to the bed. He was frowning. He stopped at the edge. "Don't ever call yourself broken. You're not. Have you been damaged? Yes, but you're not broken, and you never will be. I won't allow it. Are you sure you want me to stay? We don't have to do more than talk. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I know me busting in here did that. I'm sorry. I heard you, and it was like my body took control of my brain."

I reached over, flipped back the corner of the sheet, and patted the bed. I was tired of letting Galway and what he did to me control my life. I was taking the bull by the horns and running with it.

He watched my face as he lowered himself and slid underneath the sheet. He propped himself up against the headboard, and his hand came out to grab mine closest to him. He gave it a slight squeeze. It reminded me where my hand had been. I flushed and tried to tug it away as I hastily babbled, "I need to go to the bathroom."

"Do you need to go because you need to use it or to wash your hands? Because if it's the latter, don't. I'm not offended at the thought of where you had it. In fact, it's all I can do not to bring it to my nose so I can see what you smell like," he said with a smirk.

I was rendered speechless. Was he serious? Did men like to smell a woman's scent? I knew they did in books, but I thought it was just fiction. He was studying me.

"Serenity, can I smell your spice? You can say no. I won't be mad. It'll just be something I have to continue looking forward to. This is all about getting comfortable and discovering each other. No pressure. Anytime you're done, tell me to leave."

"Do men really like that? I mean, do they want to smell a woman's, you know? I thought it was just in books."

"I can't speak for all men, but for me, hell yeah. I want to smell you, taste you, all of it. It's different based on who the woman is. I've been dying to know, but again, no hurry."

My stomach was fluttering inside as I took the next major step for me. I let him stay and get into bed with me. I could do this. "You may if you want."

As he slowly lifted my hand, I had the inane thought that I was glad I'd just showered. When he had it to his nose, he inhaled deeply. His eyes closed, and he got what I'd call a blissful look, and then he let a small groan out. He inhaled again.

Feeling silly but wanting to know, I asked, "Do I smell alright? The way you thought?"

His eyelids raised. I saw what appeared to be an increase in heat in his eyes. "Jauhnna, you smell so much better than I dreamed. If you mean by alright, do I like it? I fucking love it. You need to be warned. I'll be taking every chance I get to smell your spicy scent. Don't be surprised if I drag you off in private and bury my face between your legs. I promise to control myself and not do it in front of anyone, though it'll be hard."

I laughed, thinking he was joking, but the way he hiked up an eyebrow, I realized he was earnest. "Wait. You mean that?"

"Damn right, I mean it. Your man wants all of you. I love the smell of your hair and your skin when we're close. This only makes it better. I'm a very tactile and sensory-driven man. Touch, smell, taste, and what I can see and even hear are all necessary for me."

"Hear?"

"Yes. Your sighs, moans, and other sounds tell me whether you're happy, enjoying, or hating something." He inhaled a third time. "God, you have no idea how much I want to taste your finger. Distract me," he muttered.

His words made me even slicker. They were turning me on more. Something I would've never thought. I pressed my hand closer to him. He hiked up that eyebrow again. I nodded. I wasn't able to speak. A smile spread across that sexy mouth of his, and then he opened his lips and inserted my finger. I moaned when his mouth closed around it and his tongue wrapped around my digit, then he sucked. It tore a moan from me. He was laving on it like it was his favorite treat. I shivered at the streaks of desire that shot through my body and centered in my core. He reluctantly let go.

"Jauhnna, you taste divine. And one day, when I get to taste from the source, you might have to resuscitate me. Damn woman, you kill me," he said huskily.

The visions those words brought to my mind made me whimper. I pictured him with his head buried between my legs, and I knew it would feel amazing. Having never had a man do that to me, I had only my imagination to go on. I jolted as his hand came up to cup the back of my head, and he drew my mouth to his. I eagerly kissed him. I loved it when our mouths were together, tongues twining and teeth nibbling. The man could kiss and make me forget my name, and my body always caught on fire. I had never known what that remark truly meant until meeting him.

When he lifted his mouth away and began kissing and licking my neck and upper chest, it registered I was on my back, and he was hovering over me. He momentarily lifted up to look at me. "Is this okay? I just need to taste your skin."

"Yes," I whispered. At that moment, I believe I'd say yes to almost anything he asked.

His mouth went back to my neck. He kissed below my ear and then licked before biting down gently. My nipples were hard nubs. Aching for more contact, I pressed them into his chest, hoping the contact would ease the burning there. It didn't. It made it worse. Whimpering, I rubbed them back and forth. He took it as a hint, and the next thing I knew, his fingers were teasing and plucking them. I cried out. He tightened his fingers and did it harder as his mouth traveled down to my breasts.

His hand continued to play with one nipple as he licked the other. The rasp of his tongue made goosebumps pop up on my skin. He swirled his tongue around it a few times before he closed his mouth around the nub and sucked. I moaned and jerked with the little shocks it caused.

I wanted to do more than lie there and take from him. I wanted him to experience gratification as well. Unsure where he liked to be touched, I decided to start touching him and see what he said. If he disliked something, I had no doubt he'd tell me.

Since there was a gap between our bodies, I slid one of my hands around to his front. Starting at the base of his neck, I lightly ran it down to his chest. I moved it along his well-defined muscles, outlining them. When I ran it across his nipple, he inhaled deeply, and I swear I felt it harden instantly. Wondering if it felt as good to him as it did to me, I circled it, then swiped across it again. His second swift inhalation told me it did. Following what he was doing to me, I squeezed his next. His mouth left me, and he groaned.

"Christ, that feels so good."

"Do you like to be touched anywhere else? Or are there places I should avoid?" I asked.

"Serenity, you can touch me anywhere you want, however you want. What about you? Anywhere you don't like?"

It was a difficult question to answer since, before this, no touch had been enjoyable for me. The intention was never to bring me enjoyment, only pain and humiliation. My silence had him rising up and gripping my chin lightly.

"Let me guess. You don't know. That's okay. How about we experiment and find out? I'll touch, and you tell me to stop if you hate it. If you're not sure, then I suggest you let me continue until you do know. Sound reasonable?"

He was so good to me, and his willingness to go at my pace and to let me have ultimate control was thrilling as well as kind of scary. There was no way I'd pass it up, though. "It sounds perfect. May I do the same?"

"Hell yeah," he said with a grin. He placed a quick kiss on my mouth, and then he was back to kissing, nibbling, scraping his teeth, and licking my skin while his hand explored too. I had to fight not to get lost in the sensations and forget to pay attention to him.

Whimpers, shuddering breaths, faint moans, and groans, along with the wet sounds of his mouth on my skin, filled the room. I had no idea how long it went on before he moved down my body. He did it leisurely, allowing me time to object, I had no doubt. I stayed quiet. He had me so inflamed I was dying to have his mouth on my most private part. My pussy was slick and weeping. I needed to know what it felt like. To see if I would enjoy it or not. Something told me I'd adore it.

This moved him out of reach for me. I was left only able to touch his head and shoulders. I rubbed my nails lightly over his scalp. It got a reaction from him. He purred like he was a cat. Wanting to hear him do it more, I flexed my nails a tad deeper. His purring increased. I giggled. He glanced up at me.

"What's that giggle for?" he asked.

"You. You're purring like a cat, Victor."

"It feels good, although I hope you don't see me as a tame old house cat."

"Oh no, you're a big cat for sure. A panther waiting to pounce," I said with a wink.

He laughed, then pounced. I let out a ragged cry as he shoved himself lower, pushed my thighs apart, and slid his hands underneath my ass all in one move. Before I could catch up, he leaned down and swiped his tongue up my slit. The roughness of his tongue set my nerve endings off.

"Oh my God!" I hollered. He chuckled and did it again.

I was melting into the bed. It was beyond anything I'd dreamed. I was beginning to float on the sensations he was causing when he upped it. His mouth closed around my clit, and he lashed it with his tongue, then sucked. My hips tried to levitate off the bed. His body kept me in place. Right after he did that, a finger traced the edge of my entrance. I moaned loudly. The more sounds I made, the more he did. My body was tightening within no time, and I knew I was about to come. I warned him. Although I don't understand why.

"I'm gonna come," I whimpered hoarsely.

A growl came rumbling out of him, which vibrated through my pussy, causing me to tip over. Just as I did, his finger thrust inside. I shouted his name. My body flew apart, and it was unlike any orgasm I'd ever given myself. As I shattered, he hit something inside of me, which made me come even harder and longer. I was frantically pawing at his head as I came. He kept lapping, sucking, and thrusting. I shuddered and moaned harder. I was in an unending loop of ecstasy. I never wanted it to end, but eventually, it was too much, and I had to call it quits.

"No more. It's…" I ended with a whimper.