Chapter 8

Eight

Chloe

I still can't believe Nick just left me last night. I could feel just how badly he didn't want to go when he hugged me. I get where he's coming from, though. My emotions have been all over the place, so I can't exactly blame him.

There's always tonight. I'll convince him that I'm done questioning this. I'm all the way in. Nick Hayes is my future. Giving myself a quick look in the mirror, I fluff my hair one more time, and swipe my hands down the front of my short, black, flared skirt which I have paired with a hot pink, off the shoulder top.

The doorbell rings as I'm bouncing down the stairs. Smiling wide when I open the door, my heart flutters when I see him looking classically handsome in dark jeans and a white button down shirt. The corner of his mouth turns up in a grin when he looks me up and down.

"Jesus, Chloe. You look fucking amazing."

"Thank you. So do you," I say, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind me.

"Where are your parents? I thought I'd say hello. "

"They decided to stay in Denver another night," I say with a smile.

"Oh." He looks disappointed, probably because he knows he's going to have to fight me off again tonight. We'll see just how much will power he really has.

As he takes my hand to walk me out to his Jeep, I ask, "So, where are we going?"

"I thought we could get away from Pinewood for a while. There's this Mexican place called Paco's in Boulder that's supposed to be really good."

"Okay, that sounds perfect," I say with a smile.

When we arrive at the restaurant, and are seated at our table, he seems tense. He keeps looking all around us with a scowl on his face. I swear I even hear him growl under his breath when the waiter takes our order. I thought everything was going well, but something is obviously bothering him.

"Nick?"

"Hmm?" He finally focuses on me.

"Is something wrong? You've been a little intense since we got here."

He takes a deep breath and releases a sigh, while he seems to be staring at my shirt. He leans in and says, "There isn't a fucking man in here who knows how to keep his fucking eyes to himself." He continues to stare at my chest. "Not that I can fucking blame them. Look at you in that short skirt and that tiny, little shirt."

I roll my eyes and sigh. "Okay. Excuse me, but no."

"What?" he says with a frown.

"Just because we're mates, you are not going to become one of those overbearing guys who decides what clothes I should or shouldn't wear."

"It's the body underneath the clothes that I don't want them imagining, Chloe."

I shake my head and sigh. "I dressed like this for you, Nick. I want you to be imagining my body underneath. "

"Trust me," he says, shaking his head. "I'm fucking imagining all kinds of things about your body right now."

I reach across the table and take his hand. "You know why you're so uptight, don't you? You need a…release…for all this tension."

"Chloe."

I sigh and nod. "Okay, okay. Look, I get it. I flip-flopped on you, and now you're cautious. You want to be sure everything… feels good… about the situation."

He glares at me. "Chloe, I'm doing this for you too. I want to be absolutely certain there are no doubts. And let me be clear, there's absolutely nothing that feels good about waiting to fuck you."

Somehow we manage to make it through dinner without any blood spilling, and he seems to relax a little once it's just the two of us in his Jeep again. "So, what are we doing now?" I ask.

"We can do whatever you'd like to do," he says, taking my hand and kissing it.

"I want to go back to my house."

He frowns. "You want to go home? Are you mad?"

"No, Nick. I want you to come with me."

"Oh. Chloe, I don't know."

"Come on, Nick. We can handle a little make out session without losing control of ourselves."

"Can we?" he says, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes." I almost sound confident when I say it. "I just want to be alone with you."

He looks at me and smiles. "Okay, but we're keeping it under control."

"Deal," I say with a smile.

When we get back to my house, I take his hand and start to lead him up the stairs when we get inside. Do I have ulterior motives? Possibly. If he would just give in, I know he wouldn't regret it. I'm not wavering anymore. Nick Hayes is my future. " Chloe, do you really think it's a good idea to go to your room? Your parents aren't here. Can't we just stay in the living room?"

"What do you think can happen in my bedroom that can't happen in the living room, Nick? It'll be fine."

"Fuck me," he mutters under his breath as we walk up to my bedroom, and I close the door behind us. Turning to face me, he says, "Shit, Chloe. I don't think I can do this." He shakes his head while he pulls his hands down his face.

"What's wrong?"

"This room. The smell of you is everywhere. Do you have any idea what that does to me?"

I look down at his crotch and nod with a giggle. "Yeah, I think so."

"Very funny."

"I'm sorry," I say taking his hand.

"You'll understand tomorrow when the mate bond hits you."

"I know what will make you feel better," I say, pulling him into me. "Kiss me." Rising to my tiptoes, I touch my lips to his, starting slow and gently. It's only a matter of seconds before he growls under his breath and he has me pinned underneath him on the bed. He takes control of our kiss as his tongue tangles with mine, and his rock solid erection presses into me.

Nick

Fuck. I'm losing control. Her soft breasts push up into my chest as her body meets every one of my grinds into hers. I want her so fucking bad right now. Parting for air, I look down into those beautiful blue eyes, and my fucking conscience kicks me in the balls. Damn it. I still need to know she's sure. Nothing felt worse than watching her walk out that morning, and I won't let us hurt each other anymore. I sigh as my mouth presses into a hard line, and I roll off of her and onto my back.

She's immediately up on her knees next to me. "Wait. No. Why are you stopping? "

I sigh and look over at her. "Chloe, you know why. It's not like I enjoy putting you off. It's fucking torture."

She climbs over to straddle me, and I close my eyes and take a deep breath as my dick pulses in response to her. The way she feels, the way she smells…she knows she's getting the best of me, and then she tips my sanity over the edge when she leans down to whisper into my ear, "Don't you want to feel how wet I am for you?"

I wrap my arms around her and flip us over so she's lying beneath me once again. "You know I want nothing more than to feel how fucking wet you are."

"Good. Then do it," she says, attempting to pull me down to kiss her again, but I use all the mental willpower I have to push myself back up. I want nothing more than to be tasting her sweetness right now, but if I did that, there isn't a fucking doubt in my mind that I'd give in and take things all the way with her.

She frowns as I gradually stand from the bed, and I hold my hand out for her to pull her up to a sitting position. "But, why?" she asks. "What else do I have to do to prove to you that I'm all in? I'm sure, Nick."

Keeping her hand in mine, I pull her up from the bed and wrap my arms around her. "I want to do this the right way this time."

She huffs and pushes away from me. "Oh, so now you're worried about doing the right thing?"

I don't deny that I deserve that. She's frustrated right now, but if she had really moved on, she wouldn't be throwing that in my face again. "Right there, Chloe. That's why we're waiting."

She crosses her arms and shakes her head. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

"I'm not asking you to be sorry, but you need to recognize that you still have these negative feelings for me. It's one night, Chloe. You'll be able to feel the bond tomorrow, and there won't be any question. Everything will feel right."

"Do you think just because I'll feel the mate bond tomorrow that I'll magically forget about everything else? Do you think I'll forget about how you're pushing me away right now? Do you think I'll forget about how you rejected me for years, and then used me and dumped me aside?"

Her words cut straight through me. "Whoa." I cross my arms and stand back. "So much for being all in."

She throws her arms up in the air, shaking her head. "That's what I'm trying to make you see. I haven't forgotten, but I'm choosing to move forward and be happy with you. That should mean more to you than a bond that controls my feelings." She stands in thought for a moment, then narrows her eyes at me. "Wait a minute. How have I not seen this all along?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The mate bond. That's the only reason you're here. If it weren't for the mate bond, you probably never would have spoken to me again."

For a minute, I don't know what to say. I want to believe that's not true, but honestly, I don't know. "I don't know how to answer that, Chloe, because that's not what happened."

She shakes her head as tears come to her eyes. "You only love me because the bond doesn't give you a choice."

"That's bullshit, Chloe?—"

"No. That's the difference, Nick. I love you because you're who my heart wants, and this is my choice. I've always loved you because it's how I feel, not because some bond makes me do it."

Anger boils in my chest. "I may not have known it was love that I felt for you back then, Chloe, but you're the only fucking girl I've ever had to avoid because I didn't know how to deal with my feelings for you. Everything about you overwhelmed me…still does. I wanted you so fucking bad that I had to force myself to be a dick and stay away."

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

"I didn't know who I was going to end up with, Chloe. I didn't want to have to pull away from a relationship, leaving someone broken, if they weren't my mate. "

"Yeah, so instead you just slept your way around, sampling what was out there. That's all I was to you—one of your dirty one-night stands."

"Jesus, Chloe. That's not what you were to me."

"Really? How many girls were there after me? How long did it take you to move on to the next one?"

"I'm not going to get into that with you. It won't make either of us feel better."

"That's what I thought. It didn't take long did it?" she asks as tears trickle down her cheeks.

"Yeah, I moved on. Is that what you want to hear? I had to do something to get what happened between us out of my fucking head!"

She shakes her head in disgust. "And I've been the one who couldn't move on with anyone else. Yet, you question if I'm the one who's ready to be with you."

Has she never—"What do mean?"

"It's only been you, Nick. You were my first and you've been my only."

I don't know what to say. I won't deny that it makes me really fucking happy to hear that I'm the only one she's ever been with—the only one she'll ever be with, and I know that makes me a dick because I can't give that back to her. "So, you've really never been with anyone else?"

"I tried. Once. The night you told me we're mates."

Her words are like a knife stabbing me in my heart. My eyes widen and my mouth drops open. "What? What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Never mind. I shouldn't have said anything."

No, probably not. She tries to turn away from me, but I turn her by her shoulders and make her face me. "You tried to fuck somebody else the night I told you we're mates? What the fuck, Chloe?"

"I was a mess that night, Nick. You hurt me so fucking much when you left me in that room on prom night. I didn't want to believe that you and I could be mates. And you don't have any right to say anything after all the girls you've been with," she says as tears stream down her face.

"I wasn't with anyone once I knew about you. I couldn't even think about doing something like that." We stand and stare at each other for a minute. "Who was it?"

"It doesn't matter, Nick. I stopped it. It never happened. Just let it go."

"Let it go? You want me to let it go that some other dude tried to fuck my mate? Who the fuck was it, Chloe?" She doesn't say anything, and then I remember how Travis had his hands on her that night. The way he looked at her. My chest heaves as my blood boils. "It was Travis. Wasn't it?"

I know I'm right when her eyes widen and she vigorously shakes her head. "Drop it, Nick. It didn't happen."

"I will fucking kill him!" I turn away from her and start toward her bedroom door, but she scurries in front of me, blocking my way.

"Nick, no. Please. Don't hurt him. He didn't know, and when I stopped things between us, I told him the truth. I told him you had just told me we're mates, and I couldn't go any further. He didn't know."

"Bullshit. I pulled you out of his arms in the pack house. He should have suspected something."

"No, Nick. He asked, but I insisted there was nothing between you and me. He was upset with me when I told him the truth because he said you guys had always been friends. He would never knowingly do something like that with someone's mate. I asked him not to say anything to anyone, and I promised him I wouldn't tell you. He's a good guy. Please, just leave him alone."

"You can stop fucking defending him anytime now, Chloe," I say as my chest continues to rise and fall hard with every breath I take.

"I'm sorry. It was my fault. I never should have tried to do that. I was hurt, and pissed off at you. I wanted to prove to myself that I was over you, and that I could move on, but you need to know that I couldn't go through with it, Nick. As hard as I tried, I still couldn't get you out of my heart."

"Not for the lack of fucking trying, though, huh?" I reach around her and grab the door knob.

She turns and looks down at my hand and then back up at me. "What are you doing?"

"I think I should go. I'll see you tomorrow when you no longer have a choice." I walk out and close her bedroom door behind me. I feel gutted by her revelation. I hear what sounds like Chloe sobbing and sliding down the wall, but I have enough anger surging through my veins to fight against every instinct to go back in there and comfort her. I don't look back as I go down the stairs and out the front door.