6. Montana

We finally reached a small cluster of ruined buildings that were still standing, though their exteriors were battered by the bombs that must have fallen here long ago. The light was growing brighter in the sky and though I could see a whole host of houses on the horizon, no one made any complaint about heading into the first one we reached. The roof and walls were intact but the door was lying on the floor inside. Dust coated every surface of the one-story house, but it was dry and gave us shelter from the coming dawn. So it was certainly good enough.

Callie sagged down to the floor with a groan, pulling off her boots and massaging her feet. Erik carefully placed Magnar down beside her.

“Thank you,” she said and he nodded stiffly before moving away.

There was a bunch of wooden furniture about the place and Erik and Julius started breaking it up for firewood.

We’d all agreed Valentina couldn’t be too hot on our trail for now and we had a view in every direction beyond the house anyway, so if she did show up we could run for it before she ever got close enough to cast a storm.

Julius and Erik set about building the fire while Callie sat across from me, stroking Magnar’s cheek as he laid under her spell. I helped Clarice fix the door back into place and drew a filthy pair of curtains across the blown out window to shield us from the coming dawn.

Erik headed outside in a blur of motion, returning a second later with two flints in his hand. He knelt in front of the firewood, striking them together while Julius tried to encourage any spark that caught on the dry bark.

“I still say we force feed Magnar a bottle,” Fabian grumbled as he stalked back and forth in front of the slayer. I knew he was just protective of Callie, but my sister was right. This needed to be Magnar’s decision and we all had to respect that.

I dropped down opposite my sister, my mouth dry from the dusty air and the desire for more blood.

“That’s not an option,” Callie snarled, shifting closer to Magnar to defend him.

“He nearly killed us!” Fabian shouted, shaking his head.

“Well he’s asleep for now.” Clarice caught his arm, giving him a hard glare. “So drop it.”

Fabian huffed, sitting down beside me and I spotted Chickoa giving him an awkward glance from the other side of the room.

Fabian rubbed his forehead with a heavy frown as he turned his gaze to the wall. I was sure his grief was as keen as the other Belvederes over Miles and Warren’s death, but he buried it deep, keeping his cool exterior in place. Clarice was the only one who had truly let her emotions out. When the tears fell, she allowed them to fall until they stopped. But the men were obviously dealing with it differently.

My eyes strayed to Erik as the fire got going and he rose to his feet, backing away from it. He moved to sit beside me, dropping down without a word and I was glad of his company, even if he didn’t want to talk.

Julius took a seat beside Chickoa, picking up a bottle of milk and swigging down a mouthful. He passed it to Callie but she shook her head, her gaze fixed on Magnar as he slept.

“We should get some rest while we can,” Clarice suggested.

“And wake up to Valentina breathing down our necks?” Fabian said anxiously. “What if she uses this time to catch up?”

“We’ll keep a lookout for Valentina, but Callie and Julius need to rest,” Erik said as he scored a line in the dirt before him. “And we’ll have to scout the area for supplies while they do.”

“Food,” Julius groaned longingly. “I’ve already drunk most of this milk. And we’re not gonna survive on dust and air.”

“The blood’s going to run out in a few days,” Fabian said in a low tone. “We have to consider that too.”

I eyed Callie, my gut clenching at the thought of what he was suggesting. How were we going to get to the mountain without drinking from the slayers? But that idea was unthinkable.

“I won’t drink from them even if they offer it,” I whispered so low that only the vampires could hear me.

“Now you’re sounding like Magnar.” Fabian stood up, kicking the dusty floor as he marched off to the corner of the room.

Callie huddled closer to the fire and I spied goosebumps lining her flesh. It must have been freezing in this place and I was grateful we’d found enough wood to last the night.

Erik continued to strike lines in the dust with his hand. As I watched, the lines seemed to grow deeper under his touch and a faint tremor ran through the concrete. He lifted his head with a frown and I brushed my own fingers through the lines he’d carved in the dirt lining the floor, wondering if I’d imagined it.

“I’m going to keep watch.” Clarice got to her feet, brushing the dust from her jeans.

“I’ll go with you. I can use my swords to sense for Familiars before I get some sleep,” Julius said, springing to his feet and they headed outside.

I wondered if the two of them had any idea of how much they were drawn to each other. It was as clear as day to me how much they cared about one another. But their pride wouldn’t allow their barriers to fall, even though they always ended up following each other around anyway.

Erik took my hand and my brows raised in surprise as I glanced up at him. “Come for a walk with me.” It wasn’t a request and I was half tempted to roll my eyes at him for falling back on his old habits. But if that was what he needed to get through this then I had to suck it up for now.

I rose to my feet and his hand stayed firmly around mine as he guided me out of the house and across the dry ground beyond it. Clarice and Julius were heading up the road, gazing up at the sky.

We moved away in the opposite direction, walking on in silence. I wondered how far away Valentina was in this vast expanse of land. Hatred clutched me as I thought of that woman coming after us. I didn’t know who I despised more: her or the gods. But I supposed it was Idun who’d hurt us the most so far.

Erik’s fingers wound between mine and he tugged me to a halt as we arrived at a huge boulder jutting out of the earth. He leaned against it and I moved beside him, his hand falling away from mine.

I waited for him to talk, sure anything I said was wasted air anyway. He had to open up to me first so I could try and find a way to make this better. But until then, I remained silent.

“Blood is our main issue right now,” Erik said and I frowned, having expected him to bring up Miles and Warren. “I’m not going to see you go hungry.” His tone was icy and demanding.

“Well you might have to,” I said with a shrug. “Until we find another way.”

“You know we only have one option,” he said in a low voice and I shook my head at him.

“There is no way in hell I’m asking my sister or Julius for blood,” I insisted.

“They will offer eventually, because they will have to or else watch us go mad and attack them,” Erik snarled and the hairs rose on the back of my neck. I’d never do that. It wasn’t a choice I was going to make even if they did give it willingly.

I folded my arms. “I can’t do that, Erik.”

“It’s not about what you want!” he shouted, sending a jolt through me.

He moved to stand before me with a glare, his upper lip curling back to reveal his fangs. “They’ll offer it anyway and you’ll say yes. I’m not going to watch you starve. I’ve already-” He pressed his fingers into his eyes, turning away from me.

A lump of emotion swelled in my throat and I moved toward him, resting my hand on his back. His muscles relaxed under my touch and I was achingly glad when he didn’t step away.

“You don’t have to drink from the vein, we’ll siphon it into the bottles,” he said heavily. “And when they offer, I don’t want this argument. We already have to deal with Magnar. I don’t want to have to force you to do anything but-”

“Force me?” I blurted, retracting my palm from his back as if he’d physically struck me. “You’ll do no such thing. I know you’re hurting right now, but you can’t just push me about, Erik.”

He twisted around again and the darkness in his gaze killed any more words on my lips. I backed up and his expression softened a fraction as he took in the sight of me retreating.

He clawed a hand through his hair, shutting his eyes for several long seconds. “Just...promise me you won’t go hungry.”

“We’ll find another way,” I insisted.

He shook his head, his tongue pressing into his cheek. He turned as if to head back to the house, but I caught his arm.

“Erik, please...”

“Please what, Montana?” he growled and it somehow hurt me more than his cruel tone that he didn’t call me rebel.

“Talk to me,” I said gently, desperate not to give in to this rage that was burning a path through my chest.

“What do you want me to say?” he spat. “That I fucked up? That I was sitting in that truck for long enough to drive it half way across the farm and reach the influence of that ring before Idun showed up? That I could have saved my brother if I hadn’t convinced myself we were actually safe for five fucking minutes?”

My heart bled for him. I clutched his shirt, not letting him escape me as he tried to turn away again.

“How can you even think that?” I demanded. “It wasn’t your fault. How could you have known Idun was going to appear?”

“Because we’re always in fucking danger! That’s how it is for my family. And I shouldn’t have let my guard down!” His face contorted with rage and so much agony that I longed to take it away.

I clung to Erik’s shirt, refusing to let him walk away.

“Listen to me,” I demanded, bolstering my strength so that I might lend it to him.

I held his cheek and forced him to look at me, moving into his personal space. Because he was my husband. And he was hurt and probably felt more alone now than he ever had. But he didn’t have to. Because I was right here and he needed to know that I wasn’t going anywhere.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I repeated, slower this time as I tried to make it sink in. His jaw ticked as he surveyed me and his throat bobbed, his hard shield almost cracking. “It was Idun. And she’s dead for it. I know it doesn’t take back what she did, but it’s something. Their killer is dead. And you never had a hand in their deaths.”

Erik groaned and I could see him on the verge of coming apart. He ground his teeth and started shaking his head as he tugged away from me again. He turned, sprinting out into the darkness and I stumbled forward from the ferocity at which he’d left.

A tremor rocked the earth beneath my feet and energy pounced into my veins at the sudden shift of the ground. I scanned the darkness all around me, fearing the approach of some other deity that might decide to destroy our lives. But all that followed was silence. And the nothingness that spread out in every direction.