Chapter 10

Firstly, Madden needed to establish something. Quick.

Was this odd sensation he felt about sex, or was it something more?

If it was the first, then bending Berga over the sink and fucking him hard and fast would be satisfactory enough for the both of them. But if it was the latter…

He’d always assumed Berga was a psychopath. There weren’t many of them—at least, not many who were professionally diagnosed—but the guy clearly didn’t experience empathy and was either staring blankly or smirking like a loon. He also was quite out of touch with social norms and frequently said things he shouldn’t. Before today, Madden would have bet his life on the Butcher of the Brumal being a psycho, even.

But not after it.

Sure, psychopaths could experience emotions, but Berga had expressed a massive range of them in only a few short hours, and one of them had most definitely been heartbreak.

Who had he lost to cause that forlorn look on his face earlier? The one that had morphed into sheer terror. That was the expression he was trying—and failing—to hide now, as he stood across from Madden and actively avoided glancing to the right of the small gray-tiled room.

Considering the space of the rest of the place, the bathroom was surprisingly compact. There was a shower stall to the right next to the single sink, the toilet across from that, and the bathtub straight ahead. Even Madden’s bathroom at the Docks was twice as big, and for someone who came off as a neat freak, it was surprising that Berga had settled for such a tiny space.

It seemed like the more he learned about the Butcher, the more he realized he had absolutely no clue who he was.

That was going to change.

Madden took a step back toward the door, pausing when Berga’s hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. “Relax,” he patted his hand and then removed it, “I’m coming right back. Hold on.”

He hadn’t understood a lick of the magazine he’d been thumbing through when Berga had opened the bathroom door, but he figured he could at least correctly pronounce all of the words within. Grabbing that, he returned to the bathroom quickly, smiling comfortingly at the Butcher when he found the man standing exactly where he left him, that stricken expression still painted across his face.

It was a beautiful face, too. All soft edges—even the tips of his gemstone horns were more rounded off than anything. Safe enough they wouldn’t cut anyone while kissing.

Or giving head.

Or—

Madden snapped himself out of it and moved past Berga toward the bathtub. As much as he wanted to feel his tight body cinched around his cock again, now so wasn’t the right opportunity for it. There was a good chance this was about more than mere sex for him, and if that were the case, he had to handle this situation delicately.

“How hot do you like it?” he asked as he started the water, carefully twisting the dials until the water pouring out of the golden faucet was warm.

“Hot,” Berga replied after a brief hesitation, and Madden adjusted it.

“Get in.” The water would shut off on its own once the tub was filled, and there wasn’t a good enough reason for the two of them to stand around waiting for it, so Madden urged him towards it.

“What are you doing?” Berga questioned but did as he was told, stepping over the lip before settling into the water. He wrapped his arms around his knees, folding himself up as he continued to stare at Madden.

Sitting down on the closed toilet seat, Madden held up the magazine. “You said you were tired. Lay back and relax, Butcher. I’ll read you a bathtime story.”

“That is not a thing,” Berga said. “And I am not a child.”

“I’m sitting here with no clothes on,” Madden reminded. “I wouldn’t do that if I thought of you as a kid.

Berga’s gaze dropped to the spot between Madden’s legs, and he did nothing to cover up or conceal himself under that scrutiny. Why should he? Madden was hung and he knew it. There was nothing to be embarrassed about.

“You’re hard,” the Butcher stated.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “because I’m not the only one who’s naked.”

“So then—”

“I’m not fucking you,” he stopped him. “You might break on me.”

“I don’t mind that.”

“Well,” Madden couldn’t believe he was saying this but, “I do.” He snapped the magazine open with a dramatic flourish. “Settle back now and get comfortable. Have you ever read the Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde?”

Berga’s brow furrowed, and he stubbornly remained seated in the center of the tub. “No, and I’m positive that’s not written in my magazine about the life cycles of the parasitic witwood worm.”

“Is that what that picture of a string coming out of a man’s eye is?” Madden flipped to the page, took a close look, and then nodded. “Makes sense.” But wasn’t currently important. “It’s fine, I know the story by heart. The magazine is just a prop.”

It hadn’t been. Initially, he’d figured he’d read some of this boring material out loud and perhaps Berga could doze off for a bit. But seeing the Butcher act so out of what he’d assumed was his set character had reminded Madden of the story he’d recently been told.

“It’s from a planet in another galaxy far away,” Madden began. “I heard it from one of Rin’s friends. Or, maybe it was Yuze.” He couldn’t recall. “Doesn’t matter. Someone I know has a cousin whose planet is planning a visit from this other one so they’ve been swapping stories—”

“Please,” Berga drawled, “tell me there’s a point?” He shifted, draping his arms over the edge of the tub.

Which meant he was starting to relax, at least.

Good.

Madden smiled. “Of course. The story is about a man named Jekyll who’s repressed in his daily life. To deal with this, he concocts a serum that transforms him into virtually a different person, one who doesn’t take society rules into consideration and acts purely on his own personal whims.”

It wasn’t a very long story, but it’d resonated with Madden when he’d heard it, and as he retold it now, he could see by the glint in Berga’s eyes that it was having a similar effect on the Butcher.

Or, maybe, Berga actually just liked stories.

He’d have to try telling him another later on to find out.

Madden was careful to keep his voice low as he spoke, so that the two of them had to lean closer to one another for the words to carry properly. At some point, the tub had filled and shut off, steam creating a foggy atmosphere around them. The whole thing was weirdly intimate—and not because they were both naked.

The last time he’d had a quiet moment like this with another person eluded him. The Docks were boisterous and loud, even when there wasn’t an official race going on. The Academy was no different. The events he was forced to attend with his parents were all glitz and glamour and rubbing elbows with people he couldn't give a damn less about. Talking took up most of those evenings, but nothing important was ever said. Connections were made, but they were all professional and political in nature. Nothing like this.

Madden felt himself swept away by the interest in Berga’s eyes. By the way the other man held himself as he listened to the story. The way he laughed at the funny parts and snorted at the not-so-funny ones.

“I can see why you like it,” Berga said as soon as it had concluded.

“Because there’s death at the end?” Madden joked, only for the Butcher to shake his head.

“No, because you can relate to the characters.”

“How so? I was thinking of you when I thought of telling it.”

“You’re more like Jekyll and Hyde than I am,” Berga insisted. “I only have one identity, you have two. Madden the King of the Docks, and Madden the Royal. I wonder which one is your Hyde and which is your Jekyll. It seems like it would be obvious, but I’ve found nothing about you really is.”

“Ironic,” Madden said. “That’s what I was going to say about you. How about I be Hyde and you be Jekyll.”

“That’s not at all how the story goes,” Berga stated. “They’re one in the same, even if neither of them choose to believe it. We are not the same person.”

“Of course not,” he agreed. “I’ve never wanted to fuck myself as much as I want to get inside of you.”

Berga rolled his eyes. “I’m not calling you Hyde.”

“That’s all right. I’ll happily call you Jekyll.”

He scrunched up his nose. “What a horrendous nickname. No one will even understand it.”

“Does anyone else have to?” Madden asked. “I’m pretty sure we’re all that matters here, Butcher.”

“Butcher, Berga, Jekyll,” he listed. “How many nicknames does a single person need?”

“Don’t forget baby.”

Berga splashed him then settled back in the tub, finally lying in the water with his head against the rim. For a moment, he grew quiet, staring up at the ceiling as the comfortable moment continued to stretch around them.

“Why haven’t you asked me?” Berga whispered finally, but he didn’t sound afraid or worried like he had earlier. His tone was calm and curious but nothing more.

Madden knew what he was referring to without needing him to explain. “I will.”

“When?”

“When I’m certain you won’t fall apart if I do.”

The corner of his mouth tipped up. “Don’t hold your breath, Mad King.”

“Why not?” Madden moved to perch on the edge of the tub. “If I stop breathing long enough, you can give me mouth-to-mouth.”

Berga splashed him again.

The sound of his multi-slate chiming from where he’d set it on the sink counter had Madden groaning. In case it was important, he got up to check, scowling when he saw Kelevra’s name flashing across the screen.

“Don’t tell anyone we’re together,” Berga said, his eyes slipping shut.

Madden stared at him for a second but when he remained like that, gave up and answered the call with a growl. “What?”

“Pretty sure that’s no way to talk to your prince,” Kelevra’s voice came through the line, echoing in the bathroom.

“Is there a problem?” Since he hadn’t used the earbud, Madden stepped back into the bedroom to continue the conversation, sticking close enough to the open doorway he could hear Berga if…He wasn’t sure what. But the idea of leaving the Butcher alone when he’d been so messed up only a little while ago didn’t sit right with him. “Make it quick.”

“Why? Where are you?”

“Out.” He ran a hand through his hair, irritation already starting to prickle at him. He didn’t want it. He wanted the calm back from the moment before. Wanted that connection again. This might be his best friend on the phone, but whatever had passed between him and Berga just now had been unique. Special.

Madden wasn’t done exploring it yet.

“I heard there was a problem as soon as we parted ways at the Academy,” Kelevra said.

“Yeah. How is she?”

“Who?”

Madden pinched the bridge of his nose. He should have known Kel wouldn’t give a crap about an injured cadet. “What are you talking about?”

“Zane said you left with the Butcher. ”

He was going to have to have a talk with Zane about privacy. “And?”

“Are you all right?” Kelevra asked.

“He didn’t kill me, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“We can’t afford to mess up the balance between our two groups.”

“We weren’t fighting. I just offered the guy a ride home, that’s all.” Lie, but whatever. What the prince didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

And by him , Madden was referring to himself.

There was a slight pause and then, “What for?”

“He needed a ride,” Madden sighed. “Look, it’s not a big deal. Is this really the only reason you called me?”

“I wanted to remind you about the gala next Tuesday.” The sound of a door opening and closing came through the line. “My sister will be hosting an important Imperial family from another galaxy. We both need to be there to help her win them over.”

“I remember.” How could he not? His father and mother had both messaged him about it several times in the past forty-eight hours. They weren’t able to make it due to business on the other side of the planet, so Madden was the only one representing the Odell family at the event. If he didn’t or couldn’t show, Rebecca would have to be called in, and no one wanted that.

Madden loved his sister.

But she was a loon .

And an idiot.

“I know you have a race the night before,” Kelevra continued.

“When have I ever let what happens at the Docks affect state business?”

He chuckled. “True. Oh. Rin is already home.”

“Okay then—” The line cut before Madden could finish. “Asshole.”

“Bad talk?” Berga stepped from the bathroom, securing a gray towel around his waist. He’d already dried his hair and body off, and without waiting for Madden to reply, headed straight for the bed.

“Not really.” Madden stood there and watched the Butcher pull the covers back and slip beneath them. When he didn’t get either an invitation or told to get lost a second time, he took the initiative himself and followed suit. “You sure you’ve never let anyone else spend the night before?”

The bed was huge. Seemed like overkill if it was meant for only one person.

“Goodnight, Madden.”

“Just like that?”

“You’re the one who insisted on staying,” Berga reminded. “I’m tired.”

“Earlier, you were telling me to have sex with you.”

“That was earlier.”

He seemed fine now. Berga was lying on his back, his head on the pillow, eyes closed. Whatever had come over him at the Academy clearly no longer bothered him .

There was a chance bringing it up would set him off again, but Madden had waited for as long as he was able, and after that brief talk with Kelevra, the reminder of their situation…Madden was Retinue and Berga was Satellite. Come morning, no matter what transpired between them tonight, they’d both have to return to their respective places. They had their own duties. Their own lives…

If he didn’t ask it now, there was no guarantee he’d ever be given the opportunity to do so again. Hell, it’d been difficult just to get Berga to acknowledge him today, after a week of being ignored.

“You said that cadet you beat up made her disappear,” he began carefully. “Who?”

Madden had assumed and then discarded the notion that perhaps he’d meant the single female cadet who’d been huddled in the corner. But she hadn’t exactly come out of that encounter unscathed, and Berga hadn’t so much as glanced in her direction.

“A girl I used to know,” Berga replied.

“Someone you used to love?” That didn’t sit right with him. Madden rolled onto his side and propped his head on his hand, staring at the Butcher, who continued to lay there and pretend.

He had to be pretending. After the way he’d acted, this topic couldn’t be easy for Berga.

“You could…say that.”

“So, you can feel love.”

“I think I used to,” Berga said. “In some ways, I still experience it. Flix—”

“We aren’t talking about Flix. Although, this seems like the perfect time to point out that he’s away on vacation. I was the one who was here for you when you needed someone the most, Butcher.”

Finally, Berga turned his head and opened his eyes. “What are you getting at, Madden?”

“Why didn’t you return my calls?”

He clicked his tongue. “I didn’t have anything to say to you.”

“We slept together.”

“We sleep with people randomly all the time.” Berga frowned at him, seriously seeming like he wasn’t connecting the dots. “I’m not sure why you’re making a big deal out of this. It was nothing.”

“Nothing?” His body stiffened, but Berga was already glancing away. “What about what happened in the bathroom?”

“Thank you for that,” Berga said, eyes slipping shut once more. “I needed the distraction.”

Distraction? Was that all Madden was to him? A distraction?

What did he think of Berga? Why was he here, in this man’s bed, in his apartment? They’d fucked and it’d been phenomenal, but the Butcher was right. It wasn’t the first time he’d had great sex.

That moment in the bathroom, however…

That was a first.

Madden didn’t know what to call them, but he knew he wanted more moments like that. Which meant he needed to turn this thing between them into something more than a mere distraction . He needed to make the Butcher yearn for him as intensely as he himself had been yearning this past week.

Their first time, Berga and he had both been drugged. It’d been sloppy and rough, but rushed. Madden hadn’t been at his best. For Berga, their coupling had been nothing more than scratching an itch caused by dosing himself with the wrong drug. A means to solving a problem.

That was all a person like Berga ever thought of. Problems and their solutions. His job within the Brumal was to create more creative ways to deal with prisoners and their enemies. He supposedly had an entire lab hidden at their bunker dedicated solely to his research. Even that magazine Madden had left in the bathroom had to do with his research into parasites and how to utilize them.

It was all becoming clearer to him now. If Madden didn’t want to be relegated to a distraction, forgotten and discarded come morning, he needed to make himself stand out to Berga.

He needed to make himself the type of problem the Butcher couldn’t get off his mind, no matter how hard he tried.

And he knew just the way to go about it.

Despite his comment about sleeping around, Madden recalled Berga’s statement about how he wouldn’t fuck strangers. Add that to the fact he’d never allowed anyone to spend the night with him, and it was obvious the Butcher didn’t have sex nearly as frequently as he was trying to let on.

He’d been resistant to Madden until he’d blown him in the car. Then he’d suddenly turned to putty in his hands and allowed him to come up to his apartment.

That was it.

Madden would show Berga exactly what he’d been missing out on by ignoring him all week.

And then, once he knew he had him addicted to his cock and the way he could make him feel, Madden would do the ghosting. Someone like Berga, someone who operated on logic, would wonder why he’d suddenly disappeared after hounding him so hard. The curiosity would no doubt drive him mad.

Madden would become the problem Berga couldn’t easily solve. Then he’d have Berga right where he wanted him, as desperate and needy as he was to recreate that moment in the bathroom.

To remake that connection.

The way only the two of them could.

Together.