Chapter 31

thirty-one

Olympia

I realize the first few times I’ve seen Tav play, the venues have been smaller, more intimate. Because this is a stadium. Before the show, I’d heard the guys talking about a new song they wrote, and one that Tav is singing backup in. I can’t wait to hear it, to hear the way Tav’s husky voice, rough and hard, will complement the sin and smoke that comes alive when Cash sings.

I’ve attended more than a few events as Tav’s girlfriend, but tonight is the first night I feel like I could scream it from the rooftop. I’m so happy to be his. I’m so happy that this man so many women scream for, is mine.

When Tav’s eyes lock on mine where I stand in the front row, my hips swaying in snug jeans to the sound of Cash’s rough voice, the echo of the drum Tav beats reverberating through my whole body, I blow him a kiss with confidence that he makes like to catch with his mouth—as though I tossed him a skittle.

The man caught and devoured my heart the same way. As though it was a treat, I tossed for him.

God, I love him.

I’ve always, always loved him.

“Looks like the two of you settled whatever it was that wasn’t settled between you.” My eyes slide from Tav to Candace. She’s decked out in grunge black, her jeans ripped over her thighs and knees, her tank tight. Her wild curls are loose, and they bounce as she moves to the music.

I’d been right when I thought Candace would be the one to sniff out something off with me and Tav. It makes me laugh, because she’s a fake relationship bloodhound, and I’m so thankful she kept her suspicions to herself or me and Tav may not have had the time to become what we became.

The hate of our past very well could have destroyed our chance before we were able to see that chance for what it was.

I don’t stop dancing. “Yeah, we have.”

“Good.” Her hands rise above her head as she makes eyes with her man, giving him a sultry show just as a neon pink bra slides across the stage toward him. Her smile widens, because he doesn’t spare it a glance. His eyes are all for her.

“I love that for you,” I say before I register the words I’ve said.

Her eyes slide to me, and I can see she knows exactly what I mean by my words. “I love you for him.”

I smile wide. It can’t be helped. I freaking love that. “Thank you.”

“He’s been alone so long. He’s always been one of the guys, and he loves them—but he needed you. You were missing from every day he lived.” Her eyes twinkle, letting me know she knows more than I thought she knew. “I’m so friggin happy he pulled his head out of his ass so that he could realize he was in love with you.”

“You know?” I gape at her, my face paling even as my body prickles with heat. “You know everything.”

She laughs. “Of course, I know. I know all the things.”

“How?”

“Ian. Ian tells me everything.”

“Tav told Ian?”

Candace grins as she nods. “Ian was always on Team Pippa, by the way.”

My gaze slides back to the stage. “I think I love Ian.”

She laughs again. “You should. He’s loveable.” With that, she slings an arm around my shoulders and tucks me into her side. “Welcome to the Devils Heartbreak Family. Us ladies, it’s our job to mend all the past breaks, set them, and make damn sure that there’s never a break again.”

“I accept the job,” I tease.

Her arm squeezes. “Knew you would.”

When the song ends and another begins, I feel the hairs on my arms rise at the melody. It’s rough and a little slow. It’s just haunting enough to pull gooseflesh to the surface, and yet there’s an air of romance to it that can’t be ignored. Half the women are holding their breath, the other half are screaming their devotion to our men.

Cash starts to sing. Tav’s voice is a decadent echo to every line Cash belts out.

The words wrap like a ribbon around my heart, knotting me in place with Tav for eternity.

She came to me like a wraith in the night

My demons burst to life

Moonlit skin and eyes so blue

Every vow I make to you

Burns away the monsters we knew

Sinking deep into these murky waters

Poison promises of the past

Like talons tearing the flesh from my back

I’ll shield you from it all

Gasping and drowning

This toxic brew pouring into my lungs

No matter, baby, I’ll just breathe you

Lightning flashes across my dreams

A lash in flesh

My rage so fresh, I’ll avenge you

Salty tears on the tip of my tongue

I’ll breathe the rainstorm of you

Deep into my lungs

Sinking deep into these murky waters

Poison promises of the past

Like talons tearing the flesh from my back

I’ll shield you from it all

Gasping and drowning

This toxic brew pouring into my lungs

No matter, baby, I’ll just breathe you

Sinking deep into the warmth of you

I come home to the soul mine knew

Twisted thorns of a past so torn

We’ll beat the storm, baby

We’ll make our own

Defeat the wind, drown the rain

Smother the pain they think they bring

No matter, baby, I’ll just breathe you

These waters are murky, but our love is clear

Wrapped up in you, nothing can hurt us here

I’ll take the lashes, not feel a thing

My soul came home

With the purchase of a ring

I’ll make you mine

Until the end of time

This vow I make before Heaven and Hell

I’ll just breathe you

Sinking deep into these murky waters

Poison promises of the past

Like talons tearing the flesh from my back

I’ll shield you from it all

Gasping and drowning

This toxic brew pouring into my lungs

No matter, baby, I’ll just breathe you

An apple of temptation

She tastes so sweet

I give my soul for this very feast

She’s the bargain I make to this darkness within

Smothered in her light I’ve found

My salvation

I can’t breathe. I know that song is for me. For us. It’s the gritty dark that has been our path to this hopeful light. My heart is so painfully full, it feels like any moment now, it’ll burst.

Emotion clogs my throat and burns in my eyes as I stare, clutching my chest, at my man. His eyes are locked on mine, every word he sang with Cash shining from the depths of his dark soul.

In response, my own soul stirs, fluttering in my chest.

Home.

He said my soul was home for his own. No truer words have ever been spoken, because I feel the truth of them like a scripture imprinted on my very being.

I’ll give my life to proving to him just how much I love him, every day, with every breath, to the very end.

And then, maybe, even beyond.