Chapter 20

twenty

Olympia

It’s been three days since the pool party and the—incident.

I’ve replayed Tav’s reaction in my mind for what feels like a million times, but I can’t seem to wade through the confusion his reaction left inside me. Since that night, the man has really upped his game, too.

When he’s home, he’s always finding reasons to touch me and kiss me. What’s more, the man has been home a lot more than usual. He hasn’t brought up the scar he felt on my butt once, or the confession I’d spilled about Remira. In fact, I’d worried all night that he’d use my refusal to return to the party with his friends as a reason to claim I’d forfeit our bet. Fear and regret had gnawed at me all night long, and I’d hardly gotten a wink of sleep. But the next morning, I’d woken to bacon and eggs with only slightly burnt toast. He’d served me coffee with a soul shattering kiss to my forehead before he sat to share breakfast with me. In silence, we cleaned the kitchen before he leaned in to chisel away at me with yet another kiss—this one to my temple—before promising me he’d be home for dinner.

It’s been three days of what I’m calling the ‘New Tav’ and I’m officially starting to struggle. Because this new Tav is intense. His smoldering stare ignites my skin even when I try my hardest to remain unaffected. His gentle touches and unexpected kisses are wreaking havoc on my heart. My mental health is in turmoil. I’ve never been able to deny my feelings for Tav, but since realizing just how much of an asshole he can be, those feelings have tamed. Sort of.

Well, I’d been hoping they’d tamed.

Clearly, they haven’t.

Not even a little.

Because at the sound of the front door opening, and Tav’s deep voice invading me like daggers aimed straight for my heart, I realize I’m well and truly screwed.

I’m sure he’s disgusted by the secrets of my past having been revealed, and now he’s doing everything possible to hurry this bet along. It makes sense, and I honestly can’t blame the guy. He left our fucked-up world to live his own life years ago, and here I appeared with all my drama and trauma, a sucker punch to his gut, surely. He tried to make me go away and failed. This bet is just as much his saving grace as it is mine.

Even though I can understand his desire to get rid of me, it still hurts. It hurts so bad, because with every tender, seduce-my soul kiss, and fool-my-heart touch, I’m sinking deeper into the murky abyss of my feelings for him.

“There’s too much water under our bridge. It’s dirty, toxic water, Princess.” The memory of his deep voice rumbling those words is a whip lash to my already tender, so very foolish, emotions.

Tav enters the kitchen as I toss the homemade chicken fried rice. When he raises a brow, I mutter, “Comfort food.”

Another body appears in my side vision, and I flinch at the sight of Ian. I’m really not prepared to entertain tonight. Not while I’m feeling all these feelings I’m struggling to compartmentalize. Tav has been touchy when it’s just us, but as soon as we’re in the company of others, he ups his touching game tenfold.

I’m not sure I can deal with that tonight. At least not without exploding.

The thought of the little vibrator that sits in my nightstand, unused, enters my mind with the force of a baseball bat. Hesitant as I’ve been to try my new toy, I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet. It’s that, or I suffer in a state of over-the-top arousal that is surely going to break me.

I squeeze my thighs together as I turn off the stove, turning to face the guys. When my eyes meet Ian’s, he raises a brow. “In the need for comfort food?” His eyes are firm on mine. “Tav mess up?”

Worry flutters through my chest as I hurry to shake my head. “Tav’s great. I’m just feeling off today.”

I can’t miss the way Tav’s dark eyes are pinned to me. His gaze is so intense, I feel as though he’s stripping me bare. No, not just bare. Raw.

His gaze is so intense, he’s flaying flesh from bone to the secrets I’ve buried into the marrow of me, certain no one would ever be able to look deep enough to expose the truth of my pain.

I clear my throat. “So, I’ve made a crap ton if you want to grab a bowl and dish up?”

Ian is the first to move. “I’d love a bowl. That smells delicious.”

I watch Ian as he dishes up, all too aware of how Tav watches me. Making a point of ignoring Tav and his strip-me-raw gaze, I fill my bowl and slide onto a seat at the island. Still ignoring Tav, I ask Ian, “Candace working tonight?”

He nods, shoveling a big bite into his mouth. He makes a noise of approval, already scooping another big bite. “She loves nursing.”

I frown at his words. “She loves you, too.”

His eyes lift from his bowl to mine. A lopsided grin that’s too kind curls his lips. “I know.”

I swallow hard and take a bite of my own food as Tav sets his bowl on the island next to me. His big hand comes around my waist and I fight not to tense as he leans in and presses his lips to my temple, murmuring low, “Missed you today.”

Sparks. They fly through me, threatening to incinerate me from the inside out. I clear my throat. “I—um—I missed you, too.”

A grin curls Tav’s lips as a low chuckle sounds from Ian. My face flames red hot.

Forcing my attention to my bowl, I finish in silence as the guys talk around me. I’m relieved when I finish, not comforted by my comfort food at all, because the entire time I’d eaten it, Tav’s massive hand had rested on my thigh, far too high to be safe. Between my legs, I felt hot and needy with every intense throb I couldn’t seem to stop, even as I tried to think terrible, gross thoughts. Like what worms might taste like.

Shoot, this sucks.

Sliding from my stool and Tav’s touch, I move to the sink. Rinsing my bowl, I place it in the dishwasher before I move to the pan. “Anyone want seconds?”

Two heads shake, so I start piling the leftovers into a dish for the fridge. With my task complete, the guys having finished their bowls, Tav reaches into the fridge for two beers. He tosses one to Ian before he pulls a bottle of champagne from where it sits in the fridge, pouring it into a glass.

He hands me the glass, and commands, “Join us.”

Nodding, I follow the guys onto the patio, taking my place next to Tav. Clearly, I haven’t sat close enough, because he closes the space between us, so I’m plastered to his side, his hand again on my thigh.

The feel of his hot palm against my skin has a shiver rattling through my body and goosebumps rising on my skin.

Tav frowns. “You cold?”

I’m way too aware of the way Ian studies us as I nod. “The sun is setting. It’s taking the warmth with it.”

Placing his beer on the table, Tav rises. He strolls back through the patio door only to reappear with a blanket in his hand. He stands in front of the couch. “Stand.” I do as he says, and he sits, before big hands find my hips and he pulls me down beside him, lifting my legs over his lap, Tav covers me with the blanket. He leans forward to grab his beer from the coffee table, resting it on my knees as his other hand slides under the covers, finding the bare flesh of my thigh, just above my knee, where my little blue dress with the pretty white flowers has risen inappropriately to bunch at my hips.

Thank heaven for the blanket.

The guys start to talk about a new song they wrote and plan to record. I hear a bit about how it’s going to be a hit, but I admit, I’m not really listening. I’m not listening because the bubbles of my champagne are bubbling in my already sensitive belly. And Tav’s thumb is moving slowly in a deliciously wonderful, achingly tempting, back and forth motion on my mid inner thigh.

Between my legs, my panties are drenched.

My core hurts, the knots of arousal are twisted too tight.

My breaths are coming in hard pants I try to hide behind sips of my drink, which is only muddling my thoughts. My skin feels flushed, my body over-sensitive.

“Pippa?” Ian calls, and when my eyes snap to him, I realize he’s frowning at me. Against my inner thigh, Tav’s hand has gone still.

Shoot, he’s been calling me.

I clear my throat. “Hmm?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” I squeak, clear my throat again, and try again. “Why?”

“You’re flushed. You look—” He studies me. “Like you’re running a fever.”

I take the excuse happily as I push the blankets from my lap, shoving from Tav’s hold. “You know what, you’re right. I’m feeling a little feverish. I’ve been off all day, hence the comfort food.” Setting my nearly empty glass to the table, I’m already walking to the door—to my escape. “I’m going to call it an early night. Sleep off whatever I’m coming down with.” At the door, I give the guys one last wave, avoiding both their eyes. “Night.”

Inside, my heart thunders in my chest as I race to my room. Then I race to the bathroom where I take an ice-cold shower.