Chapter 1

Present Day

Do you know how hard it is to walk away from the woman you think could be the one? I do.

But Kandace never gave me a choice. I opened up to her, and she even shared some of her past with me. Yet, when I made my feelings about her clear, she ran faster than a starved cheetah. I forced myself to move back to Russia because being in the room next to hers was pure torture.

I became a doctor for a few reasons. One was because of Boris. He needed someone on his team he could trust, and I felt like I owed it to him to fill in that space. He saved me after I made some very questionable choices in college. Ever since then, it feels like my responsibility to prove to him I was worth saving.

Two, because I really did want to help people, and I craved the position of control without the power struggle that came with working in this world.

And three, because I felt like it was the one job in this world where I could actually have a family. I wouldn't be out on wild missions or at risk as some sort of bodyguard. And there would be space to come home and prioritize someone in my life.

I was wrong.

I'm now forty-six years old, getting into my car to head to a sex club as a favor to my friend and former boss, who's still kind of my boss.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the role. Not many men like to bow down to women in the bedroom, but I sure as fuck do.

That's the thing about kink. You don't really know unless you ask, and when you ask, most people look at you like you've lost your mind.

It's why I invested in this club. I was so sick of matching up with women who wanted to be dominated in bed but didn't know how to say that's what they wanted. And I don't like being in that position.

I want the woman to spell it out for me, take complete control. I want to worry about nothing other than crawling on my knees for her pleasure until she brings me my own.

In the operating room, I want control. But with sex, I want to be controlled in every way. If a woman took control of when I could or couldn't breathe, fuck, I'd be all over that.

Hence, why I volunteered to go on stage and be whipped into submission by a guest dominatrix. Boris shared a picture of her with me and I instantly said yes.

The pointy red and black devil mask that covered half her face, the long black hair and dark eyes all wrapped in black leather and thigh-high boots had me drooling.

She may not be the woman I want, but she will surely be a good time tonight. Maybe, just for a few hours, I can ignore the yearning deep inside of my soul for the redheaded, blue-eyed woman that stole my heart, and just sink into subspace.

I didn't do a lot of research on this woman because I trust Boris and know myself. If the topic is of interest to me, I can find myself going down a rabbit hole before I know it.

But I have a feeling the woman who calls herself the ‘Devil in Disguise' would cause me to spiral, badly.

While research is one of the qualities that makes me a good doctor, it doesn't bode well when it leaks into other areas of my life and borders on obsession.

Pulling into the club, I think my mind is playing tricks on me when a flash of familiar reddish-orange hair catches my attention. But all too soon, it's gone, making me wonder if I ever saw it in the first place.

Shaking my head, I compose myself and put on the mask that was given to me for the performance. Keeping my identity a secret is necessary for a few reasons, like the fact that I don't actually exist on a database anywhere or because I work for an illegal crime syndicate. But it's also part of the fun in this club. If no one knows who I am, it can add another level of anticipation making the play all the more enjoyable.

I take a deep breath and step out of the car, the red and black puppy mask sitting perfectly on my face. If she really is the female version of Hades, then I'll be her Cerberus, sitting at her feet like the good boy I am.

Fuck, that was dumb. I really need someone to get me out of my head.