16. Monroe

SIXTEEN

monroe

The dismissal bell for fifth period rang. Students crammed their books into their lockers, then filed out the back doors for the pep rally. Yeah, screw that. There were many things I'd rather do—gouge my own eyes out being one. The mass of students went left, and I hooked a right toward the parking lot.

I made it to the edge of the breezeway, then paused at the sound of Mr. Brown calling my name. When I spun around to face him, he frowned at me. The way his arms folded over his chest made his oversized suit jacket puff out at the shoulders. "Skipping school, are we?"

"I'm just getting something from my car," I lied, plastering a fake smile to my lips.

"You aren't allowed to go back to your car during school hours. You know the rules." Jesus, this wasn't Barrington. Any given lunchtime, you could find kids sitting in their cars smoking weed. He was just a dick. He thumbed behind him to the field. "May I suggest you don't allow Zeppelin Hunt to taint your otherwise spotless record."

Of course, this was Zepp's fault. Because I couldn't just not want to go to the stupid "team spirit" bullshit. I started down the sidewalk and spotted Zepp ahead of me, walking backward with a smug grin on his face. He waited for me, throwing an arm around my shoulders when I caught up to him. The scent of smoke and leather greeted me, familiar and somehow comforting now.

"Brown bust your ass?" He laughed like the smartass he was.

"I'd rather shit in my hand and clap than watch this bullshit."

We followed the herd of students through the fence surrounding the football field, then into the bleachers. I followed Zepp up the rusted steps to where Hendrix and Bellamy sat with Jade. I eyed her, wondering if she had willingly chosen to sit with them or not.

I leaned forward to glare at Hendrix. "If your brother tries to screw Jade…" I whispered to Zepp, and he placed a finger to my forehead, pushing me back.

"He's not fucking your friend. Calm your tits."

"He'd stick his dick in a cinnamon roll if it got him off."

Feedback crackled through the speakers, followed by upbeat dance music. The head cheerleader bounced onto the field, ponytail swinging, smile beaming before she stopped center field in front of the microphone. "Are you guys ready to beat Barrington this weekend?"

Every fiber of my being cringed. "Kill me now."

Zepp plucked a joint from his pocket, placing it to his lips and lighting it. Right there in the middle of the pep rally.

Other cheerleaders ran onto the field, doing flips and shouting while the football players strutted out, led by Chase. Wolf meandered along at the back of the herd, looking lost because he was probably stoned.

Zepp's gaze dropped to my legs, thick smoke crawling through his lips. "Those skirts would look killer on you."

"Well, we all know you have a thing for cheerleaders, Zepp." I wouldn't be seen dead in a cheerleader's uniform.

"Not cheerleaders, babe. I just have a thing for pussy."

"Good to know." I hated that I cared because it wasn't like I didn't know he was a whore.

A slow smirk worked over his lips. "Jealous, Roe?"

Our eyes locked. "You want me to be?"

The pungent aroma of marijuana wafted in front of my face. Zepp folded his arms, resting them on his knees before he leaned into me. "I wouldn't hate it if you were."

I looked out over the field, hating this pull that took root inside me. I didn't know when I had stopped hating him. Probably around the time he saved me from being raped. Or maybe when he tried to kill a guy he thought had hit me. I didn't want to be that girl, but he made it so hard.

I glanced across the stands, really paying attention for the first time. Half of the girls' gazes lingered on Zepp like they'd give up every shred of dignity they had for a moment of his attention. And they looked at me like the bitch who was stealing their thunder. "I don't get jealous over things that aren't mine," I said.

He snorted. Wolf busted through one of the stupid banners the cheerleaders had painted with little hearts and stars, completely lacking the enthusiasm of the other players. I glanced at Zepp, at the hard set of his jaw, the way the sun glinted off the silver loop in his nose. The lines between us were shifting. We'd been enemies, but we weren't that now. I had told him we were friends, but we weren't that, either, and I wanted something from him. I just didn't know what.

"What are you doing later?" he asked, still not looking at me.

"Not sure. Why?"

"You should come over."

"Are you asking me to do a job, or…?"

"Does it matter?"

Our eyes met, and something passed between us. For a moment, we were simply circling each other, neither of us willing to concede.

The cheerleaders started a chant about kicking Barrington's ass, and I managed to pull my gaze away from Zepp's. I glanced over at Jade. Tears were in her eyes, her arms hugging her chest.

"Shit. I gotta go take care of Jade."

Zepp's hand landed on my thigh before he stood up. I shifted behind the guys to sit beside Jade.

"You okay?" I asked, but she just shook her head.

"What's he doing?" Bellamy said.

I followed his gaze to the field just as Zepp hopped the chain-link fence surrounding it. He strutted up to the cheerleader and snatched the microphone. "Fuck Barrington!" His deep voice rumbled through the speakers, and the student body cheered.

"Fuck them and their rich-dick daddies and their slutty girls." He grabbed his crotch and thrust like a well-rehearsed rockstar. "They can all suck my dick, just like Brown."

The roar of the crowd grew louder, and Hendrix stood up, fist-pumping the air and thrusting his hips. "Yeah. Fuck Brown and his little bitch ass."

Zepp was insane, but I couldn't help the smile or the little flutter in my chest as I watched Zepp Hunt do exactly what he did best: Be bad. For me.

Brown stormed across the field, followed by a few of the teachers. I stood and took Jade's hand, tugging her down the steps.

"Oh, look," Zepp's voice echoed across the field. "Here he comes now to get on his knees and suck my shit."

Another loud boom of laughter erupted around us. Brown snatched the microphone. Ear-splitting feedback rang out when he cut the sound off.

I grabbed Jade's arm, tugging her down the bleachers before darting into the parking lot. Despite the tears spilling down her cheeks, she laughed when we stopped beside her Jeep. "He's going to be in so much trouble."

"Nothing he's not used to," I said, climbing into Jade's car before she cranked it and we pulled away.

We spent the afternoon driving around, listening to music and talking about anything but Barrington. We pulled out of the 7-11 on the edge of Dayton, Slushies in hand. Jade was pushing sixty when a red light caught us and she came to a screeching halt.

The word "slut" drifted through Jade's cracked window. When I glared at the guys in the shiny SUV beside us, they laughed.

"We hear you Dayton girls climb dick like champs." They all cackled again, and Jade shrunk down in her seat.

Heat bled through my entire body. If I could have gotten out of the car and spit on them, I would have. But the best I could do at the busy intersection was flip them off. "You couldn't pay me enough of your daddy's money to make me touch your shriveled dick."

The driver hurled a Big Gulp at Jade's Jeep. Soda and ice splattered the windshield. The traffic signal turned green, and they sped away, their laughter rising above the hum of the engine.

It took Jade a moment to press the gas. And all the while, my temper grew into a raging inferno, churning and spitting.

"Assholes," I said on a growl.

Her tear-filled eyes fixed on the road. "How are you okay, Monroe?"

"I'm not," I admitted. "I'm just good at hiding it." I would never tell anyone else that.

She swiped at her tears, but more kept coming, and I didn't know what to say or do. I was a shit friend. I hadn't cried since I was eight years old when my mom overdosed for the first time. A horrible feeling settled in my gut, and the acceptance I'd forced upon both Jade and myself suddenly felt like chains shackling me. I wanted to be okay, but deep down, I wasn't. Because Max and his friends wouldn't feel a drop of remorse for what they did to us. I wanted them all to pay, but nothing felt like enough, not even Zepp's beating. They'd heal, but I wasn't sure Jade would. I wanted to take something from Max the same way he'd taken something from me. There was only one thing I could think of that meant something to him, no matter how inconsequential it might be by comparison.

"Take me to Barrington," I said.