23. Crazy on You

23

CRAZY ON YOU

DAISY

A YEAR AND A HALF AGO ― January 8th, 1974

"Why do you think you have become so obsessed with this man?" Dr. Beaumont questions as he sits across from me, casually observing.

"Because he is my soulmate."

"And what makes you say this, Daisy? Are you not afraid you have created a perfect version of him inside of your head that he'll never be able to live up to? The way you speak about him is concerning, to say the least."

I let out a chuckle. "Don't worry, Doc. No need to be jealous. We both know I'll still suck your dick after our session is over."

He sighs in defeat. "That's not why I said it. We need to get to the root of this."

I match his sigh, mine mixed with a groan. "It hurts. It fucking hurts to even think about him." Slumping back on the chaise longue, I put my bare feet on the fabric. "Ever since I discovered sex, I've felt like I was crazy for wanting it so much. For putting myself in dangerous situations just to satisfy some fucked up part of myself. You know, the whole fucking reason I'm here. But now… now I feel like I've well and truly lost my mind."

"And why is that?" he asks, scribbling down something on his notepad.

"I can't stop thinking about him. Can't focus on anything but him. I've already committed multiple crimes just so I could be close to him. Breaking and entering. Stalking. I've been in his house, watched him sleep from his roof window. And mind you, climbing the pipes of his house is not an easy task." I look up at the ceiling, then close my eyes, Lester's face quickly flashing before me like a video reel. "I stole his underwear and masturbated with it on a loop. God-fucking-shit-crap. I'm insane."

Dr. Beaumont doesn't say anything back yet, because I'm not finished. "There is not one single line I wouldn't cross for him. I'd kiss the ground he walks on. I have this overwhelming feeling that travels through my entire body. I feel high and I ache for him. I fucking ache for him so badly that I'd do all this crazy shit, not caring about one single consequence."

The session ends with me releasing some of the pent-up frustration in my body by letting Dr. Beaumont fuck my ass, but it still doesn't stop me from slipping out of bed and sneaking out of the house to pay Lester a visit.

I climb the side of his home, dividing my weight between the pipe and the ivy-covered rail until I'm all the way on top of the roof. Crawling on my hands and knees, I'm quiet like a mouse until I'm right where I want to be, watching him lay in bed from the ceiling window.

His bedroom is dark and the light from the stars and the moon shines down upon him, bathing him in it. He always looks so peaceful, at least when he's not having nightmares. Today seems like a good night, because he lays still like a serene sculpture, with one arm above his head on the pillow and the other one resting on his bare chest. The blanket drapes over his crotch―to my disappointment―and his chest moves up and down in a steady rhythm.

I stay there for about an hour, just watching him while inhaling smoke from my colorful glass pipe, letting the weed do its job to relax me.