Chapter 28

I jumped as the door opened. Sitting up on the old mattress, I waited to see who was coming. In stepped Mirron with a bag from Waffle House. I hadn’t eaten since I’d been here. Every time they brought me something, I went into defense mode the minute my hands were free.

Mirron tossed the food on the bed and pulled the key from his pocket.

“Are you gonna act like you have some sense today?” he asked, peering down at me. “I know you have to be hungry.”

“You don’t give a fuck if I’m hungry.”

He chuckled. “I do. I need you to keep your strength up. I know you don’t think I’m willingly gonna give you up, do you? You’re the boyfriend is gonna show up here with the family in tow. That’s my perfect opportunity to get rid of them all. Then you and I are gonna have a little fun.”

He traced my jaw with his hand. I jerked away, but that only made him grab me by my throat and force me to look at him.

“You’ll learn to love it here,” he said, leaning into me. “I see you’re the type of lil’ bitch I’ll have to break down.”

I was about to spit in his face again until he placed the barrel of a gun under my chin.

“Swallow it.”

Reluctantly, I swallowed the spit in my mouth.

“Good girl.”

I almost gagged when he kissed the corner of my mouth.

“You have the prettiest lips,” he declared, tracing my bottom one as he groped himself. “You suck a mean dick, don’t you?”

My eyes watered and my lips trembled as I heard his pants unzip. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see anything he was trying to show me.

His grip on my throat tightened. “Open your fucking eyes.”

Frantically, I shook my head. A hard slap across my face forced my eyes opened. I found him stroking himself. If he put that shit anywhere near my mouth, I was biting that muthafucka off. Thankfully, I was saved when one of the other men poked his head in the door, holding up what I knew was a burner phone.

“You have a call,” he said, eyeing us suspiciously.

“Be right there.” Mirron turned back to me as he released me and fixed his clothes. “We’ll finished this later. Eat up.”

He left the room, and my appetite went with him. My stomach was cramping so bad, but after seeing that, I couldn’t eat a thing. Where the fuck was Deuce?

The sound of my bedroom door opening woke me from the nightmare I’d been having for a week straight. I looked up to see my mama walking in with a tray of food. When I was rescued, all I wanted to do was come home. Not to my place. Not to Deuce’s. Home. I just wanted my mama.

I wanted her to hold me and kiss my seemingly never-ending tears as she reassured me that everything was going to be okay.

“Are you hungry, baby?” she asked softly.

I shook my head.

“You need to eat, Salima. Come on, sit up.”

Reluctantly, I sat up in bed. She placed the tray over my lap and grabbed my hands for a quick prayer. When she was done, she proceeded to feed me, just as she had done when I was a little girl.

After a few minutes of eating in silence, I finally spoke.

“Is he still here?” I asked.

She nodded. “Wearing down my damn couch. When are you gonna talk to that man, Salima?”

Deuce had been at my mother’s all week long. Even though I expressed to him that I needed some time to myself, he didn’t listen. My mom allowed him to camp out in our living room. He never came into my room, but I knew he was here.

Every day, he sent me flowers with handwritten notes. He sent me texts letting me know he loved me, and he missed me. My mother and Shar had basically become like carrier pigeons with messages from him. Both of them begged me to talk to him, but I couldn’t right now.

My mind had images of all the blood and carnage on constant repeat. I still felt the brain matter splatter against the side of my face when I shot one of those goons in the head. I could feel the weight of the gun in my hand and the kickback when I pulled the trigger. The continuous rounds of gunshots rang in my head.

I didn’t know if or when I could get past that. Sure, I knew what he did for a living. I met him doing his job. I just didn’t think I’d end up being this much a part of it a second time.

“Mommy, I don’t know. I don’t blame him. It’s just… every time I look at him, I replay that night in my head. I can’t stop seeing the images or hearing the gunshots. I’m so thankful that he saved me, but I just need time.”

She nodded. “I understand. I’ve seen some things in my day, too, baby. I think you should see a therapist.”

I hung my head. “You’re probably right. I’m probably gonna go back to my apartment soon. I have to try and get back to regular life at some point. My classes start next week, so that will be a good distraction.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

I nodded. “I have to be. Life goes on.” I sighed heavily as I held up a hand to stop her from feeding me. “I’m full. I just wanna take a nap.”

“Okay, baby.”

My mother stood from the bed and cupped my face. She placed a tender kiss to my forehead and grabbed the tray of food before heading for my door. When she opened it, there stood, Shar, preparing to knock.

“Hey, Auntie Karen.”

“Hey, baby. Salima is about to take a nap.”

“Perfect. I’ll take one with her.”

She kissed my mom on the cheek and slipped past her into the room. My mother smiled and shook her head as she closed the door. Shar kicked off her shoes and tossed her bag at the foot of my bed before climbing in.

“I’m not in the mood for company, Sharina.”

“Good thing I’m not company.” She slid under my covers and patter her chest. “Come lay your head on these titties and let’s get to this nap.”

I bit back the smile trying to find its way to my lips. I could never not smile with her. Even if I wanted to be alone, my bestie would always have my back. I rolled over and laid my head on her chest and my arm around her waist. She gently stroked my back in a soothing manner.

For the longest time, we laid in silence. I was almost asleep when she called my name.

“Salima?” she said softly.

“Hmmm?”

“I was so scared I lost you.”

We hadn’t talked about that night since the night I came home. She told me she felt guilty about not getting to me in time. She felt she should have been there with me and I had to let her know not to feel like that.

“I’m still here,” I said, hugging her tightly.

“I don’t know what I would do without you. You aren’t just my bestie, you’re my sister. I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist.”

I giggled slightly. “You know we both have to leave this earth at some point, right?”

“Bitch, you better not die before me. I’m turning your funeral out. I might even flip over the casket. Don’t play with me.”

That made me laugh out loud. “I can’t with you.”

“Seriously, I hope we grow old and die peacefully. There is no Sharina without Salima. You keep me level-headed cause you know a bitch likes to pop off.”

“Oh, I know.”

“I love you, sis.”

“I love you, too.”

She kissed my forehead and loved on me just like she did when my father died. Before long, I was drifting off to sleep in her arms.

A fter being cooped up in the house for days, I finally decided that I was going to get out and get some fresh air. My classes were starting tomorrow, and I needed to go get my books and supplies. I was excited to get back into school. I needed to feel like I was doing more with my life besides working to pay bills.

Now that the burden of mortgage payments and medical bills were lifted, it was time to build toward my own future. In my downtime, I worked on a business plan to keep my mind off of what happened. I had a clear vision of what I wanted and how I wanted to execute it. I just needed my degree to get the ball rolling.

I stepped out of the shower, died off, and wrapped my body in a towel.

Stepping over to the mirror, I wiped it off so I could do my face routine. The slight bruising had diminished to nothing, and my face was free and clear once again. Once that and my oral hygiene was taken care of, I went back into my room to get dressed. Much to my surprise, when I opened the bathroom door, there sat Deuce on my bed.

In the week and a half since I’d been back at my mother’s, he hadn’t stepped foot in my room, per my request. I guess today was the day he decided he was done with that shit. Knowing him, I expected him to completely disregard that sooner, so I had to give him credit. He was fully dressed in all black from head to toe, looking as handsome as ever.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey.”

I stood there awkwardly like this wasn’t the man I loved. I hadn’t touched him or kissed him in all this time. I missed him, but remained planted in my spot. He stood and made his way over to me.

“Salima, I can’t take this shit much longer. How long am I supposed to go without seeing you when we’re in the same house? I know your mama is getting sick of me sleeping on her couch.”

My mother, in fact, was not sick of him being here. She’d grown to like Deuce. I could hear them talking and laughing when she was here. I knew for a fact that he’d been cooking for her, too. I could always tell the difference in a meal he made versus one she prepared herself. One day, I snuck out of my room and peeked around the corner to find them watching her soap operas together and the man was into it.

I shrugged. “I just need some time, Stanley.”

“Baby, I’m giving you time, but you are my woman. I’m supposed to be the nigga taking care of you.”

“You’ve done enough.”

I slipped past him and went to my dresser to find something to wear since I hadn’t taken all my clothes with me when I moved out.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, following me.

“Exactly what I said. You’ve done more than enough for me. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be standing here. I don’t blame you for this. I just need to get my head together.”

“Then we can do that together.”

“No, Deuce!” I yelled. “I want to be alone!”

“Ain’t no being alone. The fuck you think this is? I love you. You’re going through some emotional shit, and you want me to leave you alone? Fuck that.”

“This is your problem. You don’t know when to step back.”

“From you? No, I don’t. I don’t know what kind of niggas you’re used to, but I ain’t one of them. I don’t run from shit and nobody, especially not you. I’m here whether or not you like it.”

“Then maybe we need to take a break.”

He looked at me like I’d just slapped him across the face. Hurt and anger danced in his eyes as he stepped closer to me.

“You breaking up with me?” he asked.

I shrugged.

“Nah, that ain’t how this works. Ain’t no breaking up.”

“How are you gonna tell me I can’t break up with you?”

“Like I just did. I told you; you’re my woman and you’re gonna be my wife. Who the hell do you think you’re gonna be with after me?”

“That is toxic and possessive.”

“No, baby. That’s real.”

He snaked an arm around my waist and pressed his lips to mine. I didn’t kiss him back, but I didn’t pull away either. When he finally released me, he cupped my chin and peered into my eyes.

“I love you and you love me. We can be Barney and the gang or we can be Freddy versus Jason round this muthafucka, but you can’t get rid of me. Now, I have some business to attend to today. When I get back, I’m gonna cook a nice meal for you and your mama and we are gonna eat dinner like the family we are.”

He pecked my lips once more before leaving the room. I stood there speechless, unsure of how to respond. I basically broke up with him and he told me no. How the fuck did that work?

I must have stood in that same spot for ten minutes, trying to gather my thoughts. Finally, I shook myself out of it. I had shit I needed to do today and Stanley Jordan Dillinger was not about to throw me off my game.