18. Raven

RAVEN

Leila. Fucking Leila. I understand why she’s standing before me, I just can’t seem to process the betrayal I feel along with it. On top of that, I’m even more pissed that I’ve allowed myself to be swept into a position where I feel any kind of hurt from anyone at all.

The look in her eyes is a mixture of nerves and guilt, and I’m not surprised one bit. Composing myself, I stand, brushing my hands down my thighs.

“Talk to me, Raven,” she murmurs, nervously shuffling from one foot to the other. All I can do is stare at her, my jaw locked tight as I bite back the hint of disappointment threatening my tongue.

“I don’t know why you think she’s going to talk to you after this little revelation,” Brax grunts, not trying to hold back his thoughts like me. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” he adds, nodding to the open archway at the far left of the room that seems to lead down a corridor.

“I didn’t have to reveal myself, you know. Not yet at least. But the second you were inside of the Guild, I wanted to come forward,” Leila states, answering Brax’s question, but her gaze is fixed on me.

She wants me to respond, to give her some kind of hint of how I’m feeling, but my mind is shut down tight, allowing a familiar numbness to creep up my spine.

Still unsure about Leila, I make the decision to follow Brax’s lead and get out of here, and she quickly falls into step beside me.

“No. Fucking. Way,” Zane grinds out, rushing around me to block Leila’s way. “You can stay here.”

Leila’s shaking her head before he’s even finished talking. “I-I can’t. I’m really not a fan of it down here,” she breathes, eyes nervously scanning around the space. I can sense Zane’s about to tell her just how much he doesn’t give a fuck, and despite my own feelings being twisted into knots, I nod toward the exit for her to follow along with me.

She offers a soft smile in response, but I don’t return it as I focus on keeping up with Brax, who is now halfway down the narrow hallway. Reaching the other end, steep stone steps greet us. It feels like an eternity before we reach the top, but when we do, I startle at the fact that we’re at the back of the main academy building.

“That place is under the academy?” I clarify with Eldon, who nods, frowning at me as he comes to a stop at my side.

“It seems so. But what I think we need to consider more than anything, Raven, is the fact that my vision could have been more of a warning sign for who we were letting into our inner circle,” he states, nodding toward Leila as she appears breathless at the top of the steep steps.

“Vision?” she asks, with her eyebrows crinkling, and Creed quickly wags a finger at everyone.

“Don’t say another word in front of her.”

Leila’s jaw slackens as she gapes at him, hurt dancing in her eyes as the rest of the Bishops stare at her. She clears her throat, waving her hand in front of her, and the black cloak and gold mask disappear. She folds her arms over her chest and turns her full attention to Creed. “Why? What do you think I’ll do?”

Creed shrugs, not indulging her with a response, but the same can’t be said for Zane.

“I mean, the possibilities are endless. You could spy on us, feed information about us back to the Guild. Who the fuck knows what lies you’ve already spun to Raven,” he lists off, moving to step in front of me a little, positioning himself perfectly between Leila and me.

Leila shakes her head at him in disbelief. I know I should interject and piece this together for myself, but I’m still at a complete loss with it all and I can’t find the words to get Zane to back off and walk away.

“I’m not a liar, Zane. I omitted a fact, yeah, but that’s exactly what the five of you are now going to do, too. It’s a part of being in the Nightmares Guild. People don’t know about it because that’s the very definition of a secret society.”

Well, snap.

The two of them continue to stare each other down when Eldon throws his arm around my shoulder and turns me in the direction of the path that leads us home. My eyes widen in surprise when I see that Brax is already a good way down it, clearly not sticking around to deal with this shit. The sound of footsteps rushing behind us is the telltale sign that the others are following after us.

Hopeful to make it back to the house without anything else being said so I can actually think, I barely make it a dozen steps before Zane chimes in again, still not ready to stop pushing Leila for more. But she’s choosing to follow us back, so she must be open to it.

“You’ve always acted like an outcast because of your father, but—”

“Wait, do you actually think me being one of the Nightmares gives me anything more than additional grief? I’m one of them because of my father, nothing more, nothing less. It doesn’t mean they like me. As a matter of fact, it’s probably another reason for them to hate me, but I believe in the cause of the Guild, so I withstand their bullshit in the hopes of making a difference,” she snaps, rendering Zane silent as we all march back to the house.

Eldon’s hand strokes patterns over my arm as I lean into him, taking silent strength and comfort as the house comes into view.

“She doesn’t step foot inside,” Brax hollers, not bothering to glance back at us.

“Raven,” she pleads, and my steps slow. Eldon’s arm drops from my shoulders as I turn to face her, but he doesn’t completely step inside.

“I don’t really know what I’m supposed to think right now, Leila,” I admit. I know it’s not what she wants to hear, but fuck if I can give her anything else.

Tucking a loose tendril of hair behind her ear, she sighs. “For real, Raven, is this something you would have plucked up the courage to tell me about tomorrow if I wasn’t standing here already? Without prompt or reason to spill the truth? Would you have said, ‘Hey, Leila, guess what I was initiated into last night?’ Because I don’t think you would have.” Her words are heavily laced with defeat, while a twist of guilt and reality clenches my stomach. She does have a point there. That doesn’t mean I have to like it, though. “Or how about the fact that you guys snuck off to Shadowmoor? Was that going to be an omitted fact between us as well?”

“How do you know about that?” Eldon interrupts, and Leila doesn’t remove her gaze from mine as she answers.

“Burton.” Pushing a heavy exhale past her lips, she looks down at her hands then back at me. “I get that I’ve caught you by surprise, but it doesn’t change who I am. This is what my father was leaning toward when he invited you to train with us. He sees the fight in you too, but I need you to understand that guilds are secrets for a reason, and I wouldn’t be following the code if I just told the first person I ever considered my friend.”

My chest tightens at the sincerity in her voice. Through the fog in my brain, I can see and believe in her words, I just don’t like how it left me feeling to begin with, and I can’t shake it. If she asked me if I trusted her right now, I don’t know if I could give an honest answer and the one she’s hoping to hear at least.

“Are we just supposed to believe that?” Zane asks from behind me, and Leila shakes her head again.

“No, Raven is. I don’t owe you guys shit, but I owe her something.”

I can feel everyone’s gaze on me, waiting for my response, but I’m still falling flat.

Creed clears his throat from the open doorway. “Are you going to answer any questions we might have?”

“That depends…”

“On what?”

“Who it is that is asking,” she retorts, cocking her brow as she plants her hand on her hip.

A beat of silence settles around us before I roll my neck, trying to alleviate some of the tension riddling my limbs. “Let’s take this around the back. I might be able to think better there.”

I don’t wait for anyone else as I head for the garden. Leila, Zane, Creed, and Eldon follow after me, and I find Brax already standing back there. The tension in his jaw seems worse than it was moments earlier, and when I catch a glimpse of his eyes, it’s anger I see burning in them.

“Someone’s been in here.”

“What, who?” Panic ripples through me as Brax’s gaze cuts to Leila.

“I don’t fucking know, but maybe your little friend here might have an idea,” he snarls.

“Why would I know?”

He steps around me to go toe to toe with Leila. “Was it your job to keep us busy or something while they snuck in? Tell me who it was and I’ll opt to slaughter you instead of torturing you.”

“What? No, of course not,” she hastily replies.

“I don’t believe you,” Brax pushes, but she doesn’t back down. Instead, she rolls her shoulders back and somehow stands taller.

“You don’t have to believe me. I didn’t take part in getting you guys to the Guild, but I wouldn’t be shocked if whoever did snooped, Brax.”

“Bullshit. You know.”

“Read me.”

“What?” I interject, confused with what the hell is going on now.

“Brax can read my mind. Do it.”

He doesn’t even glance in my direction as he lifts his hand to her head, happy to take the facts from her mind without taking her word.

“No, don’t you dare,” I interrupt, knocking his hand down before he can touch her. I don’t care if it would clear things up. It’s violating. Whether she’s agreeing to it or not, I’m definitely not okay with it.

Shoulder checking Brax, he reluctantly moves aside so I can take his place in front of Leila. Pinching the bridge of my nose for a moment’s reprieve, I drop my hands to my hips and stare her straight in the eyes.

“I’m fucking trusting you, Leila. One foot out of line and we’re done, do you understand?”

“Of course,” she agrees quickly.

“I wanted more time to process and fucking think, but the five of you make it impossible to do things at my own speed,” I grind out, flicking my gaze to Brax, Creed, Zane, and Eldon too. “You’re right, I had no intentions of telling you about Shadowmoor, and that’s not the only thing I’m keeping guarded. The same goes for you, but that’s going to take a certain level of trust out of our friendship whether we like it or not.”

“When you first acted like my friend, I thought it wouldn’t last, Raven. I expected you to realize what a loser I was like everyone else, so I didn’t get into the deeper stuff. I would change that in a heartbeat if I could.”

“I don’t know if we can,” I admit, heaving a sigh. She nods, my words disappointing her, but at least I’m not giving her false hope or lying. “There are things we’re going to need to talk about, facts we’re going to want to hear about the Guild, and I’m kind of expecting that to come from you.”

“If I know it, I’ll share.”

Eldon steps to my side. “The fourth year, from the party, is he—”

“A member of the Guild? Yes. However, now I can’t bear to show my face because he’s been talking about me and… being with me, to… everyone.” She winces, and my heart clenches for her.

Fuck. That’s shitty, I wouldn’t wish that upon anybody. Well, maybe Genie, but that’s different. My fists curl at my sides. I want to punch someone in the face, the fourth year to be exact, and the stark reality that I want to defend her so fiercely is a reminder that as much as this sucks right now, I still care for my friend.

“Are there any other notable members we should be aware of?” Creed asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

Leila sighs again. “You know exactly who I’m going to say.”

My breath stutters as my pulse starts to ring in my ears.

“Say it,” Brax orders, and she offers me a soft smile as her eyes dip to the floor.

“Sebastian… and Genie.”

Fuck. My. Life.