Chapter 6

6

S pencer

I’m not as healed as I think I am, because all the chatter, all the noise, is making my head ache. Or maybe it’s all the thoughts now clattering around in my head.

Are they right? Was Rhi born to be some powerful magical, foreseen in some ancient prophecy? And are we destined to help her?

Am I destined to help her? A werebeast? What use would I be?

As the others continue to argue around me, I slouch out of the kitchen and into the quiet hallway, dust particles floating in the air, the silence soothing.

I’m stiff from all those hours chained to a dungeon wall. I roll out my shoulders, lift my hands above my head, stretching my unused muscles and as I do, the beast rumbles inside me. He wants to be let out – he’s demanding it, scraping at the constraints of my insides. He’s been just as cooped up, just as restricted as I have. It’s only fair that I release him.

I glance towards the doorway.

Is it safe? I may have argued that the beast would never harm Rhianna, but I can’t know that for sure. And am I prepared to take that risk?

Hell, no, I’m not. Even if it causes me pain. Even if it has the beast spitting and snarling inside me.

I close my eyes, fighting him as he tries to break free.

“Spencer?”

My eyelids flick open and I meet the honey eyes of my fated mate.

The bond inside me spirals and the beast quietens.

“Are you okay?” She steps towards me and places her hand on my arm. I don’t deserve her touch but I relish it anyway. It feels divine against my skin. After all that violence, all that cruelty, the tenderness of her touch is enough to send the beast purring.

I never liked to be touched before. But now I think I’d crawl over hot coals to have her touch me like this.

“Spencer?” she says again.

I consider lying to her. But hiding the truth from her was foolish. It meant I wasn’t there to protect her when I should have been. I won’t make that mistake again. Even if it costs me distance between us.

“I need to change,” I tell her. Her brows knit together. She doesn’t understand. “I’ve spent too long in my human form. I need to let my beast out.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize that was how it worked.”

“Yeah,” I say, unable to help from smiling at her. “The longer I remain in human form, the harder it is to control him. ”

“So, were you secretly changing into a beast the entire time we were at the academy?”

I shake my head. “I was taking pills to help control things but …” I rub my hand over my head, feeling fucking foolish. “Then you came along and drove my beast into a frenzy and it got a whole lot harder to control him.”

She rolls her eyes like I’m exaggerating.

“It’s true. He’s pretty darn obsessed with you.”

She steps closer to me, lowering her voice. “He said some stuff to me,” her cheeks pinken, “about wanting to devour me.”

Inwardly I groan. Fuck, yes, I’d like to devour her too.

“Erm, I don’t think he wants to eat you, Rhianna. In fact, I think he wants to eat you out.”

She swallows. “That is pretty …” Revolting? Disgusting? Sick? Yeah, I know what we are. “Intimidating,” she says.

The beast scrabbles inside my body and I flinch.

“Is it hurting you?”

I grimace, trying to force a smile onto my face. “It’s fine. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“If it’s causing you pain, Spencer, you should let him out.”

I shake my head. “It’s too dangerous.”

“For me?”

“Yes, and for them,” I say, gesturing my head towards the kitchen. “I can’t control him.”

“You really think he’d hurt me, that he’d hurt them too?”

I mull this question over. Inside me, the beast snarls at me, insulted I’d even consider the possibility. “I don’t know,” I say, earning myself a stab of pain from the beast within me.

“I can look after myself, Spencer,” she tells me, lifting her chin in that damn infuriating act of defiance.

“The beast is powerful. ”

“So am I, remember?” she says with a huge dollop of sarcasm. “I’m the girl from some prophecy.”

“But pretty damn hopeless at self defense.”

She pouts. “I was starting to get better at it before you left.”

“Yeah,” I admit. “You were. Maybe we should resume those lessons.” Because I’d really, really like to get my hands on her again. The beast practically drools at the prospect.

“I’d like that.”

The beast strains against his fleshy confines, desperate to break free, and I curl in on myself, straining with all my might to keep him contained.

“Spencer, this is stupid. Let him out.” I pry open my eyes. “I don’t like seeing you in pain like this.”

“Fine,” I say, uncurling myself and striding towards the door. Maybe this is my best chance to let him out. Who knows if we’ll still be here in 24 hours, who knows if I’ll have another chance? And here, I can lose myself in the prairie land, get myself as far away from Rhi and the others as possible, then I can transform and hope the beast doesn’t come charging straight back here to pounce on her.

When I reach the front door, I halt, realizing Rhianna is standing right behind me.

“What are you doing?”

“Coming with you.”

What the fuck? Is she insane? The house is safe – for now – fortified and hidden by the spells the others have cast. Stepping outside is dangerous; stepping outside with a werebeast is crazy.

I go to tell her all that but she beats me to it.

“I want to see. I want to watch you transform.”

I stare at her. She is crazy. Totally crazy.

“Why would you want to do that? ”

“I’m … curious.”

My mouth falls open.

“You know curiosity killed the cat?”

“Spencer, you’re my fated mate and you’ve kept this part of you hidden from me. I want to see it. I want to understand.”

“It’s not pretty, Rhianna,” I say. It’s agony to endure the morphing of my body, bones snapping and reforming, skin straining and stretching. I remember the first time I saw my dad transform. I must have been really small, barely able to walk. He’d lost control and changed in front of me and the sight of it had left me screaming in terror, unable to sleep for weeks despite my mother’s reassurance that it was just papa, that he was okay.

Do I want to give Rhi another reason to shun me?

She shrugs. “I think the beast is kind of pretty.”

I laugh because that definitely is the craziest shit I’ve ever heard. Not that the beast seems to agree, in fact, I can feel him puffing up with pride at the compliment.

“Pretty? Most people wouldn’t consider a werebeast pretty.”

“I’m not most people.”

And ain’t that the truth.

I try changing tactics. “The others will kill me if they find out I let you anywhere near the beast.”

“That isn’t how this is going to work. You – all of you – don’t get to say what I can and can’t do.” And there’s that lift of the chin again, the hard stare, informing me just how determined she is.

I stare right back at her. I don’t like this idea – it scares me shitless – but it also turns me the fuck on. The fact she, my mate, wants to see this. Wants to see me in all my raw brutality. It’s irresistible, especially when the beast wants it too.

“Okay,” I say, “okay. But we need to be careful.” I glance towards the kitchen where the conversation is continuing. “You need to keep your distance and if–”

“If the beast tries anything I don’t like, I’ll blast him straight to hell,” she says with a grin.

“Fine, let’s go.” I take her hand in mine and pull her through the doorway. On the path, she hesitates, her eyes scanning the landscape.

“You think someone’s here?” I ask her, pausing too.

“No, I’d be able to sense them if they were.”

I huff in amusement. “You’re a tracker.”

“Uh huh.”

I’m not even surprised.

“Right then, let’s go.”

We step out into what once was the front yard of the mansion with its overgrown hedgerows and flowerbeds, and stop in front of the crumbling wall.

“This is where you wait,” I instruct her.

“Wait? Where are you going?”

“Far away from you.”

She grips my hand. “No, Spencer. You do it here in front of me.”

“That isn’t what we agreed. We need distance between us to keep you safe and–”

And it’s too late. The beast has had enough. He wants this girl just as badly as I do and he’s tired of waiting.

I snatch my hand from her, stumbling as best I can away from her as my body begins to change, and the vision of her face, frowning with concentration, fades away as I’m plunged into the darkness.