4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Patrick

I kept an eye on Finn throughout the day. Something was really wrong, and I wanted to fix it for him. He didn’t want that. He didn’t even want me knowing things weren’t perfect in his life, pretending that it was no big deal, as his bear sat close to the surface.

He had eaten the cinnamon roll I’d given him, which I took as a good sign. And then he went back to work, only looking up when den members came over to him. He’d chit-chat with them for a few minutes, but mostly he stayed focused on his laptop. That wasn’t unusual, but the tension in his shoulders as he did it was.

I, on the other hand, wasn’t focused on work. Every breath I took reminded me that he was there and suffering. His scent didn’t tell the same lies that his lips did. He was in distress, and my bear longed to find the source and destroy it.

My knife had slipped more than once while I prepped for the dinner rush, and thankfully, shifter healing meant that I hadn’t bled all over and caused a biohazard. It was bad enough I had to redo half my work.

Fucking worthless, Pat. Always making a mess of things.

Archer handed me a plate with a burger and fries. “Here.”

I looked down at it. “I already ate lunch.”

“That’s not for you. That’s Finn’s order.”

He already had food, why was he eating again? Was the cinnamon roll not enough to tide him over? Did I mess up his first meal?

“Oh.” I didn’t even question why he was handing it to me. I couldn’t hide my behavior. That ship had sailed.

I didn’t bother removing my apron or worrying about what I looked like as I exited the kitchen and went to Finn’s table. He saw me every day in all states of disarray. And this wasn’t me trying to catch his eye. I was doing my job, nothing more.

I set the plate down in front of him.

“Thank you.” He looked up, startled to see that it was me standing there.

He was interesting like that. Some days it was as if he was tracking my every move, and other times, like now, he was lost in his work. Only maybe today it wasn’t his work—that conversation hit him hard. If he lived here, I’d have already found him and given him the what-for. But he wasn’t and feeding him was the best I could do.

“Did Stacy have to go home? Is everything all right?”

“No, she’s still here.” Knowing her, it was probably her idea to have Archer pass me the plate. I loved her, but she was a nosy butt. “Is everything all right with you?”

“I’m fine,” he said, squirming a bit. He wasn’t fine.

Against my better judgment, I slid into the booth. I felt the eyes of many of our den members looking at me. This was not behavior they were used to seeing from their Beta.

Archer ducked his head when I looked through the opening to the kitchen. No doubt he would do his best to spy on me and Finn. I wasn’t sure I cared.

“If something has occurred to upset you, you can talk to me or Corey or Jayce or whoever you’re most comfortable speaking with. We’re here to help.” I was lost as to what to offer him, and I sounded more like Corey than I did myself, but if it worked to make his day better, I was fine with that.

Finn laughed, picking up a fry and dipping it in the ketchup.

“Thank you. I do appreciate that. This den is incredibly welcoming, and you’re doing a great job as a Beta by making sure that I’m fine.”

Something about the way he said my title stung.

“I’m well-versed in the number of people I have at my disposal to listen to my concerns. I’ve already spoken with Jayce and Corey. I promise that all is well.”

That should satisfy me, right? I was doing my job as a Beta to make sure that he was taken care of, and he assured me there wasn’t anything amiss. Still, that didn’t settle my bear or myself. I wanted to know what was the matter. I wanted to know what I could do to help, to fix whatever it was that brought the sadness to his eyes. If only there was a way to take it from him, to shoulder it for him.

I nodded, because what else was there for me to do? I couldn’t force him to talk to me. That would defeat the purpose of all things.

“Enjoy your meal.”

He opened his mouth as if to say something, and I waited. We just sat there for a minute, looking at one another, neither of us speaking a word. Finally, he closed his mouth, cleared his throat.

“Thanks, Patrick.”

Right. So that was that.

I went back to the kitchen and started cleaning up after the lunch rush. I didn’t bother dealing with any of the new orders. Archer would handle those. I let myself get lost in my work. Soon, it would be time for me to go home.

Perhaps there, I could clear my mind and figure out how to understand what was bothering me about Finn. Something had upset him, and I didn’t want to go to the Alpha until I knew what it was. I wanted to be the one to fix it. I wanted to be the one he leaned on, even if I didn’t deserve to be that bear. But I was bear enough to know that sometimes it was best to let Alpha take care of it—to know that I wasn’t the one who had the skills needed.

I feel sorry for whoever’s stuck with you as a mate, Pat. Hopefully you won’t have one. I clenched my fist, trying to squeeze my father’s words from my mind. They’d been rushing at me more and more lately, and I fucking hated it.

Once I was finished with all the tasks I could possibly do, I took off my apron, threw it in the hamper, and washed my hands. Just as I was about to go out to the dining area, Archer stopped me.

“Finn just left.”

My stomach twisted. “Left for good? Why? Where would he have gone?” I let out a growl.

Archer held up his hands. “Easy there, boss. I think he just went home early.”

Right. Of course. I didn’t let myself dwell on the fact that Archer knew I was looking for Finn and not just going out to the dining area for other reasons. Not that I had ever gone out into the dining area much anyway. Today was probably the first time in a month I’d been out there, but I had no choice. My bear wouldn’t allow me to ignore Finn when he was hurting so, even if I could, which I couldn’t.

“Good. Hopefully, he’ll speak to the Alpha about whatever it is that’s bothering him.” I didn’t want him going to another, but since I couldn’t be the alpha he needed right now, I was glad Alpha was there for him.

Archer shook his head. “Or, you know, you could go see what’s bothering him.”

Why did the jerk need to be right? I tried, but did I give it my best? Probably not. My desire not to push held me back.

“Don’t you think I tried? He won’t talk to me. Besides, it’s not my business.”

Archer just looked at me, wide-eyed. “I don’t know, man. Why would you care that he’s upset anyway? Last week, Nora was in here crying for two hours. You didn’t even notice.”

There was a den member crying in my café, and I hadn’t noticed? “Was she all right?”

“Yes, of course, she was. The point is, no one else noticed that Finn was upset, except for you. Why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know.” Except I did.

“Oh, for goddess’ sake.” Archer shook his head. “You’re a lost cause.”

I snorted. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard those words. My father—the Alpha of his own den, which had long since dispersed because he was a shitty Alpha—had reminded me of that all the time. His voice still lingered in my mind though he had been dead for nearly a decade.

At least Archer meant it lightly. He saw worth in me for goddess knew what reason.

Having had enough of the day, I left the diner and went home.