11. Wyla

Chapter 11

After I finish working up a room, I check my phone for what feels like the thousandth time. They're fine. She's fine . Jett would call if he needed me. But maybe the lack of phone calls or texts is what's bothering me.

I'm happy Jett's in the picture now. I'm happy my daughter won't grow up and wonder who in the world her father is. There's just this tiny little devil on my shoulder who keeps whispering in my ear constantly. It whispers a lot of things… about Jett only showing interest in me because he feels obligated, or Stevie will love him more and want to stay with him or that she'll be taken from me, and mostly my guilt.

I feel like I've experienced two forms of anxiety. One is pre-baby. I didn't struggle with it much growing up, blame it on being the baby of the family, I suppose. But I felt as if I just had normal anxieties, tests at school, sneaking out and getting caught.

The second form of anxiety is mom anxiety and it fucking sucks. I can't even take a shower now without having this stupid devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear. What if Stevie happens to find some random small item and sticks it in her mouth and chokes? You'd have no idea, you're showering. Did you hear that noise? I think she's screaming for you, but you don't care, you're taking the first shower you've had in days.

You think, oh, shower while they sleep? Problem solved. Nope, it's still there, that little fucker never leaves and just like a toddler, doesn't know how to play the quiet game.

I check to make sure my ringer is up so I don't miss any text or calls and slide my phone back in my scrub pocket. They're fine. She's fine.

My phone digs and my heart jumps, scrambling for my phone. I pull it out so hard that I accidentally send it flying and it hits the floor with a nice thud.

"Damn it," I mumble.

I reach down to grab it, but Matt beats me to it. "Calm down, killer. What'd your phone ever do to you?"

I force a nervous laugh. I'm more focused on finding out if that ding was a text for help. Matt holds out my phone. "You doing alright, Wyla? You seem a little tense today. "

I take my phone, not caring to inspect any potential damage. The ding was from Jett but it was just a picture of Stevie sitting at the kitchen table with her paint t-shirt on smiling ear to ear with a message.

Jett

Turns out I have a number and Stevie knows it. All is great here, Wy. See you soon.

I physically feel some weight lifting off my shoulders as they drop down from being pinned up.

"Wyla?" Matt asks, drawing my attention back to him.

"Oh right, sorry. Jett had to pick up Stevie from my mom today. I guess I'm a little bummed that I couldn't be the one to go get her. They seem to be having a lot of fun though." I lock my phone and put it back in my pocket.

"I'm sure Dr. Daines will understand, Wyla. Why don't you go and get Stevie? Hell, bring her here. We've got coloring books for kids in the lobby and she could take some to the break room. She's done it before."

"Yeah, for like an hour. It's okay, really. Jett seems to have it under control, plus it will be good for them to get some quality time together." Even if it is without me. Not that I want quality time with Jett, per se… I want quality time with my daughter .

Matt huffs. "Are you sure it's such a good idea for Stevie to have so much time with this guy? I mean, how well do you really know him, Wyla? And you're just going to let him be alone with Stevie?"

Was that a bad mom jab? It felt like a bad mom jab. "Matt, this is not your place. I think I am perfectly capable of deciding who my daughter can be around."

I walk away feeling confident in my response at first, but then that voice takes over, whispering all the bad mom jabs it can think of.

They're fine. She's fine.

I keep myself busy for the next few hours and manage to ignore that asshole in my head—at least the time being. By the time five o'clock hits, other techs start to leave while I finish up. I grab a leash and start taking the kenneled dogs out one at a time. This part feels like muscle memory at this point. I check my phone it's a little after five and no emergency calls from Jett. I sigh, half an hour at best and I'll be home.

Once all the boarded pets are taken care of, I go back into the treatment area to take care of our hospitalized patients.

"Hey," Matt says as I walk in. He has all of the treatment sheets pulled out and medicine sorted.

"Hey, what are you still doing here? We don't have that many tonight. I can handle it." Usually I welcome his help, but he irritated me today.

"Thought I'd lend a hand." He shrugs.

"Alright, thanks." I guess him helping won't hurt, but if he starts with the mom guilt again, I may throw one of the cat litter boxes at him.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I overstepped," Matt says with what I feel like isn't a lot of remorse in his tone.

I know arguing about this is silly and a waste of time, so even though I want to tell him it's not okay, I opt for the non-confrontational option, this time . "It's fine, help me finish this up and it'll be water under the bridge."

He gives me a quick nod and wisely chooses to stay quiet while we work. After about fifteen minutes we give the last pup his medicine and we're clocking out.

"Thank you for helping, I appreciate it," I say as we walk out to our cars.

"You're welcome," Matt responds quietly. "Have a good weekend, Wyla."

"Yeah, you too," I mumble back, feeling weird about this whole day.

Work was insanely busy and we were already short a tech which was why I couldn't leave to go get Stevie. Then Matt making that comment put me in a bad mood. I'm a good mother, I might not be perfect but I try pretty damn hard to be.

I pull in my driveway and shut off the engine. I take a deep breath and sit in my car for a minute. I need a mommy minute. Those usually happen in the bathroom with a chocolate bar when I've heard the word "mommy" for the millionth time, but the car will do for now.

I sit in silence and when I finally feel like I can breathe again, I pull myself together and get out.

When I walk in the front door, laughter erupts from the kitchen. My heart nearly explodes from the beautiful sound.

"Ah, Mommy's home!" Stevie squeals then races around the corner with Poppy in tow. "Mommy! We got surprises for you." She beams.

"You do?" I ask, matching her excitement so she can't see how fucking exhausted I am. However, not too exhausted to not notice the living room has been picked up and there's a delicious smell also coming from the kitchen.

"Follow me, Mommy." Stevie waves her arm for me to hurry. With a quick greeting to Poppy next, I drop my bag on the couch then follow behind her.

When I enter the kitchen, it sure is a surprise indeed. Not only is it spotless, but Jett is standing at the stove cooking a meal that looks as delicious as it smells .

His smile is effortless and so damn attractive. "Hey, Wy, how was work?"

I can't answer because I'm too busy taking everything in. The dishes that I know were in the sink this morning are gone. There's no paint splashes to be seen—and those are pretty common when Stevie paints. The counters look like they've been wiped down, and everything that was left on them is either put away or organized on the corner.

Then I see the bouquet of orange roses sitting in a vase on the table, along with a canvas that has flowers galore and a stick figure family on it. I look at Jett, who just smiles at me.

Don't cry, Wyla. For all that's holy, don't cry.

"Look, mommy, look!" Stevie pulls my attention back to the table. "They had your favorite! Daddy tried to buy the red ones but I told him orange is what you like." Stevie has a proud look on her face that gives my heart a good tug.

I force those mixed emotions back down. "Oh, baby, I love them! They're perfect." I lean down to squeeze her tight.

"And I painted this." She pulls the canvas off the table, holding it out for me. "It's me, you, and Daddy at the park. Do you like it? It's us as a family." Stevie bounces up and down holding the canvas.

Don't cry, Wyla. This is your new mantra. Don't cry.

I smile at her to mask the pain I feel in my chest. "It's beautiful, Stevie. You did such a great job."

"Thank you, Mommy. Can we put it on my wall? Please, please, pleaseeee." In regular Stevie fashion, she drags out the last word.

I glance up at Jett as he grins down at us while still cooking dinner. He's making this too hard. How could a girl not want to jump a man's bones after he cleaned, cooked, and bought you flowers all unprompted.

"Sure, sugar. Why don't you go pick out a spot and I'll be right there?"

"Okie!" she squeals, and races to her room before I can even stand back up.

Jett chuckles. "She's a ball of energy."

Humph. "She doesn't seem to be the only one." I walk over to see what he is cooking. Is that alfredo? Damn, that's one of my favorites. "Jett, you didn't have to clean and make dinner."

Jett shrugs. "It's no big deal, Wy. I wanted to. How was work?"

"Eh, it was work. Very busy, made the day go by a little faster, I guess." Jett doesn't need to know the amount of times my thumb hovered over his contact to call or text him asking how everything was going. "I'm dying to get out of these scrubs, though. I feel like I smell like a dog. "

A smile tugs at Jett's mouth. "Well, why don't you go get Stevie situated and you can change if you want. Dinner should be done soon, and I'll get out of your hair."

I furrow my brows. "You're not staying for dinner?"

Jett turns to me and places his hands on my arms. "Wy, you asked me to help with Stevie, not to invite myself over for dinner. I made this dinner for you two. If you want me to stay, I'd love nothing more than to join you, but I'm not going to force my company on you. I'll leave with no hurt feelings at all."

The look on his face tells me he means it. If I asked him to let dinner just be Stevie and I, he'd leave. So not only did he do all of this, he did it not expecting anything back from me. "Stay."

"Wy, I don't—"

"No, please stay," I interrupt. "I want you to stay."

His hands still rest on the side of my arms and the light touch is enough to make me wish they'd touch other places. Being so close to him short circuits my brain. This is why I've been keeping my distance, because right now all I can think about is starting that kiss we had at the beginning of this week over again.

I think Jett has the same feeling because he's now staring at my lips, begging for the green light. I feel goosebumps prickle my skin as his hands slowly slide up and down my arm.

Jett lets out a sigh. "Go change, Wy. Dinner will be ready when you get back." He says it, and I hear it, but I can't move. Not with his hands still on me. What could one more taste hurt?

"Mommy! I found a place," Stevie yells from her room, and that does it. I step back and Jett's hands leave my side. He gives me a soft smile and turns back to stir the food on the stove.

I can't bring myself to say anything, so I tuck my tail and run. I grab a pair of command strips from the hall closet and put Stevie's picture up where she requests then change into a pair of black leggings and my favorite pale orange crew neck.

I duck into my bathroom for a quick glance. Boy, was this a mistake. Why do I look so tired? I quickly dab a little bit of tinted moisturizer on my face and rub it in. My hair was pulled back half up by a hair tie, but I want to curse fine hair. It almost seems to clump together and looks stringy. Ugh. I run a brush through it and ultimately just decide to throw it in a clip.

Not entirely satisfied, but I feel a little better about going back out there now. I take one last look then get pissed at myself. Damn it, Wyla, you shouldn't be fussing over your appearance. We are not trying to impress Jett. His relationship with Stevie is your priority, not this.

Walking back to the kitchen, I give myself an internal stern talking to. We are not going to kiss Jett tonight. We are not going to fall for his charms… or his muscles… or those blue eyes.

When I turn the corner, Jett has three plates of pasta on the table. "The boss told me where each plate needs to go." He laughs, and sits across from Stevie.

I slide into my designated spot next to Stevie. "Yeah, one day I tried to eat in a different seat and she let me know that was not okay."

Stevie huffs. "That's Mommy's seat. This is my seat and now that's Daddy's seat."

"I won't dare sit anywhere else," Jett jokes. And when Stevie seems pacified, he winks at me.

My stomach flips and my cheeks heat. No. Bad Wyla.

"So, Stevie, did you have a good day today?" I ask, going back to my regular tactic of keeping Stevie the main focus of all conversation.

"Yeah, I did. Daddy bought me a Barbie like you Mommy. Well, kind of. She's the animal doctor, but it's close. But me and Daddy said you are just as important as the doctor. "

Ah, my ever honest child. "Well, I'm glad you think I'm important." I push the side of her hair behind her ear and behind her shoulder so it's not hanging in her dinner.

"That's what we said," Stevie says, sounding exasperated.

I shake my head as Jett chuckles. "Stevie was a big help today. It seems someone else doesn't think I'm very bright either. Who knew I could be so wrong about so many things?"

With everything that I walked into after work, I don't think this man could do anything wrong ever again. "Oh, yeah? What new things did you learn today?"

"Reaching for the red roses when the orange ones were right next to them was my first mistake."

I snicker as I take a bite of this amazing dinner. I'm telling myself it is so good because I didn't make it. I swear, meals taste better when you weren't the one slaving over them.

"Then, I didn't put the Barbies in the right place in the dollhouse when we were cleaning up. Barbie Rapunzel does not go in the bedroom."

I shake my head, knowing Stevie gave him the whole speech with that move. "Oh no, she goes in the tower. Rookie mistake. She give you the full reason behind it? "

"Oh, in heavy detail." Jett smiles at Stevie, and I know that not a moment of today was a burden on him.

My chest hurts the same way it has all week. He's missed so much of her life, all because I was too chicken shit to stay the next morning and ask for his number. I was too scared of the rejection so I left.

I spent a lot of the meal dwelling on my actions five years ago. I do my best to mask it, but I'm positive Jett's picked up on my mood change. I can barely bring myself to make eye contact with him without feeling like I need to apologize.

Once all of our plates are clean, I stand up and stack up all of the plates. "Alright, Stevie, you can play until I finish the dishes but then we have to start getting ready for bed."

"Okay, Mommy!" Stevie jumps out of her chair and she's gone in a flash.

I shake my hand with a small chuckle under my breath as I head to the sink but Jett stands and tries to take the plates out of my hand. "I got it, Wy. Go spend some time with Stevie."

I pull them back. "No, Jett, you already cleaned and made dinner. The least I can do is these dishes." I try to side step him but he blocks me .

"Wyla, there is no scoreboard here. I got to spend hours with her today and you didn't. It will take me fifteen minutes to clean this up. Now, go."

I'm so stunned at his words that I can't manage to fight him as he takes the dishes from me. Really, I'm too stunned to move. I feel like I hardly ever get time with Stevie on weeknights. They usually consist of me going to pick her up, finally making it home a little after six on a good day, then it's like clocking into the second shift. I get to work on dinner, cleaning up where I can. By then it's nearly 8 p.m., so then I have to get the bag packed for the next day and Stevie ready for bed. At most, I feel like I get the half hour of dinner at the table with her truly.

"Thank you, Jett," I say, quietly.

"Go, Wy. Do me a favor though, can you put one Barbie back in the wrong spot? Make me look less dumb." Jett laughs.

I can't help the smile that pulls at my mouth. "Not a chance," I reply, then head into the living room to spend some time with my girl.

For the next half hour, I play with Stevie. I know Jett is purposefully moving slow to give me extra time. It does crazy things to my heart but I get to have some much needed quality time with my daughter. When she grabs a book off the shelf, she jumps on the couch and pats the spot next to her. "Read me a story, Mommy."

I put Barbie Rapunzel in her rightful spot then plop down beside her on the couch. "Hey, why don't you see if your dad wants to join?"

"Oh, good idea. Daddy! Come read with us," Stevie yells from the couch instead of walking into the kitchen.

Jett rounds the corner. "Perfect timing, Little Bee. What are we reading?" He strides over to the couch and my only thought is, why does he have to be so damn good? He's just good. And pretty damn good looking too.

"I want Mommy to read The Princess and The Frog ." Stevie pushes the book in my lap then leans back against Jett. He lifts his arm, letting her snuggle into his side. He looks at her then at me with pure joy on his face. I think my heart exploded… or maybe it was my ovaries? Probably both.

I somehow manage to read the whole story without stumbling over my words even though I keep stealing glances at Stevie cuddled up with Jett. It helps that I've read all of Stevie's books twenty times each at least, but I'm distracted in the best way possible tonight.

I shut the book, and Stevie's rubbing her eyes as if she can rub the sleep out of them. "Okay, baby girl, it's time for bed. "

Stevie snuggles deeper into Jett. "I'm not sleepy, Mommy."

"Oh no, of course you're not," I say sarcastically, and stand off the couch. "Hate to break it to ya, sugar, but ya momma is."

"But I'm not sleepy," Stevie whines again.

"Come on, Little Bee. I'm super tired too." Jett picks the now noodle-like Stevie up and plops her on his lap. "But I had so much fun with you today."

"I had fun with you too, Daddy. Can you tell me goodnight in the bed?" Stevie mumbles.

Jett looks up at me with a silent question for approval. I nod in response immediately.

"Of course, but you have to be good for your mom and actually get in the bed."

"Alright." Stevie slides off him and walks to her room, shoulders slumped from exhaustion.

I hold out my hand to pretend to pull Jett up from the couch but really it's just an excuse to touch any part of him. When he stands, we're chest to chest. The scent of his eucalyptus and amber body wash fills the space. It's so intoxicating.

"We need to put our daughter to bed," I whisper.

"Yeah," Jett breathes out. "We do. "

Jett tucks a loose strand framing my face behind my ear and sighs. "Come on, Wy, let's go."

He walks past me while my heart beats out of my chest. I'm a weak, weak woman.

As I help get Stevie into her pajamas, she requests some milk so Jett heads into the kitchen to get her a small cup.

"Alright, baby. Head on pillow," I instruct. She walks gingerly to her bed and crashes onto it. Yeah, not sleepy, my ass.

Jett walks back in with the desired milk. She takes a sip before setting it on the nightstand. I cover Stevie in her hundreds of blankets and tuck her in. "Okay, goodnight, baby. I love you so much." I pop a kiss to her forehead and she smiles.

"I love you so much, Mommy." Stevie reaches for a loose blanket to snuggle it.

I smile at my little girl then step back so Jett can reach her.

He sits on the edge of her bed. "Goodnight, Little Bee. I had a lot of fun with you today."

"I had a lot of fun today with you too, Daddy. Can you come over again tomorrow?" Stevie mumbles.

"I'll see what I can do, but for now get some sleep." Jett moves to stand but Stevie sits back up reaching for a hug .

Jett leans back down and her little hands wrap around his neck. "Goodnight, Daddy. I love you."

"I love you too, Stevie." I can see Jett's arm squeeze her a little tighter before she lets go and lays back down.

Jett hovers for a moment and the look on his face tells me he's feeling something I've felt many times, that he could stand there and watch her sleep all night long. I nudge his arm and motion for him to follow me. "Sweet dreams, baby."

"Sweet dreams," Stevie mumbles as I shut her door.

"Come on, if we talk outside her door she'll hear us and get a second wind. FOMO with a child is extreme," I whisper.

Jett chuckles behind me as I make my way back into the living room. I spot Stevie's book on the couch first so I grab it and put it back on her bookshelf. As I walk, I don't have to step over any toys or muffle a curse when I nearly trip over one of Stevie's tubs of crayons.

"Hey, thank you for everything you did today." I walk over to Jett, probably stepping in a little closer than I should. "I didn't mean for you to clean or cook for me. I try to keep the house clean but sometimes it can be a little overwhelming for me to get it all done."

"Wy, I didn't do those things because I thought you didn't. I wanted to do them for you. Help ease a little off your plate." He lightly caresses my cheek. "Today proved one thing for sure, though."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" I ask barely above a whisper.

"You are a fucking superhero. To do all of this, every day, by yourself… I loved it, every second, but I'm exhausted."

I can't help my laughter. Welcome to parenthood, Jett.

His hands find my waist and pulls me to him with a smile on his face. "I'm serious, Wyla. Stevie's great, but damn she's got a lot of energy."

My hands rest on his hard chest and beam up at him. "She is pretty great, isn't she?"

"She's amazing. She's amazing because of you."

Gah, I think I'm a puddle.

"Hey, tomorrow, a group of us are going to the beach for the day. I didn't say anything to Stevie because I know if I had, she'd wake up at six begging to leave immediately… but would you want to come with us?" Please say yes to give me an excuse to see you shirtless.

"Yeah, Wy, I'd love to."

Thank fuck.

The corners of my mouth turn up. "Okay, why don't you meet us here around 10:30 a.m. and we can ride together. Oh, and you can invite Anna too. My sisters will be there with their husbands and kids. "

Jett's hands slide from my waist to my back, pressing me into him more. My eyes trail down from his to his mouth. What did I say earlier about one more taste?

My hands go up to wrap behind his neck, and I open my mouth for the words "kiss me" to come out but then something wet is nudging its way in between us.

"Poppy!" Damn dog pushes us apart then walks to the door and scratches lightly. Well, now I feel like a bit of a shit dog mom. I walk over and open the door for her. "Sorry, girl."

Before I shut the door, Jett walks up and I know I'm about to hate what he's going to say. "I should probably go," he says calmly.

Yup, hate it.

"Yeah, probably." I know he should, him staying any longer will definitely result in another round and that can't happen.

We walk out onto the porch, and I cross my arms for my own good because touching him is a bad, bad idea. Now I only half regret inviting him tomorrow. Seeing him shirtless is going to be heaven and hell at the same time.

I need to get my shit together. Maybe I just need an orgasm to take the edge off… but from my vibrator, not Jett. Maybe Jett… Fuck, bad Wyla .

I try to focus on Poppy out in the yard, watching her as if she would run away which I know she won't. "So, I'll see you in the morning?" I ask nonchalantly.

I can feel Jett's eyes on me, but I can't turn to him. "Yeah, I'll be here," he says, then takes a step closer. "Wy, I want you to know I heard what you said about us being her parents first. I respect that and really, I agree, but I'm not going to stop trying for you either. So, can you please stop avoiding me because that's making things a lot harder to win you over."

I can feel my blood pressure rising and I know my cheeks are turning red. "It's a bad idea, Jett. And I know deep down you know it is too." There are way too many obstacles in our way. Distance being a pretty big factor, not to mention that stupid devil on my shoulder telling me I'm an obligation. A right to a wrong. The consequences of our actions… my actions .

Jett sighs. "Baby, you have never been a bad idea. Not five years ago and not now."

Am I still breathing? I think I stopped.

"I'll see you in the morning, Wy. Go get some sleep." Jett kisses my temple then walks to his car.

Frozen in place, I watch as he pulls out of the driveway. It's already heaven and hell and he's not even shirtless yet.