26. Max

" T ell me!"

He demands again. This mother fucker has got to be kidding me right now. He couldn't have told me this before he was nine inches deep in my ass. How the fuck does he think what he's done is ok?

"Max, will you—"

"Draven, I don't want to talk about this it's not–"

He cuts me off instantly, "You aren't going to brush me off. I want to know why everything is redacted." He stands there, staring down at me, his eyes boring into mine.

The more he talks, the more I want to punch him in his stupid face. Then again, the more I think about it the quicker I can feel it coming. The vomit. The way my heart is pounding against my ribcage, I'm sure he can hear. I've never told anyone other than Sasha about this part of me before, and here he is, demanding I tell him something that's private to me.

The butterflies from earlier, now gone and all I feel is... everything else.

"No." My response blunt, smacking his hand from the back of my neck, I turn away from him. "It's none of your business." I'm furious. Who the fuck does he think he is, doing something like this to me? Can he be that fucking obsessed to just barge into my private life like that?

"Yes, it is. I need you to tell me, and I'm going to get it even if I have to force it out of you myself."

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Draven? Do you not see how fucked up this is?" I only make it a few steps before he grabs my arm and pulls me back. Ignoring my earlier question, he continues.

"No. What would have been fucked is me not telling you. Who put you in a psychiatric ward?" He raises his tone. "If you just tell me, I can—"

"I was raped, Draven!" I scream, turning to him. "Raped!" I scream the word in his face again, making sure he really hears it. "There... are you happy now?" The hair on my arms standing on end. "Got what you wanted?" My chest quivering with anxiety as the words float in the air between us. Dissipating into nothing. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Huh?" I narrow my eyes, taking a step toward him, slamming my palms against his chest. "Poor little fucked up Max and her redacted medical files. Stupid Max, the girl who got so drunk she didn't even realize what the fuck was happening until it was too late!" I scream even louder, the vision of him so blurry as I swipe the tears from my eyes with anger and hate. "Does it make you fucking feel better now! "

"Max, stop—"

"Three days Draven!" I cry out, holding up my fingers in front of his face, really hoping to drive this home for him. "Three days they had me. I was eighteen." I push him again; this time he willingly steps back. "I went to a party with my friends, that's all... and I... I got a little drunk... and they… they took me! "

I can feel my chest heaving with rage. He asked, he wanted this, so I'll give it to him in full force. Every ugly fucking truth of what they did to me. This is me, my life, the past I worked so hard to forget because nothing can be done about it. Nobody knows except Sasha and the people who fucking caused it. With tears threatening to fall, I give him everything he wants.

"You want to know what it was like? Hm?" I'm screaming for myself to stop, but I can't. "Want to know how it felt to have their grimy hands all over my body, and how I couldn't stop them?"

He's opened Pandora's Box and it won't close. The words flow from my chest like vomit, each letter burning another hole into my skin, another slice of hate within the very depths of what I have left of myself.

"They burned me, cut me... Christ," my chin quivers. "They fucked me every which way they wanted to. Sometimes they let others… join in. Sometimes, Draven, I wasn't even fucking conscious."

I lean up, narrowing my eyes at him. Brushing the hair back from my face I take a shaky breath. He's just standing there, staring at me, not saying a word.

"When I screamed, cried out for help, that's when it got worse. Funnily enough, the rape was the easy part. If I made any sound, other than moans of ecstasy…they waterboarded me, choked me, filled my body with alcohol and managed to get me addicted to drugs." I laugh. "To fucking OPIOIDS!!"

I release the final word in a gut-wrenching shout. "I'd never taken drugs in my life, I didn't mean to drink that much, I… I thought I'd just let myself go at the frat party you know?" The space around me spinning, and I squeeze my eyes shut to gain some balance. The last thing I want to do is look like I still can't deal with this because I can.

"When I woke up, I was in the hospital, and I had no idea how long I'd been gone, or asleep for. The doctors said the police found me on the side of the road, outside a fucking crack den. They told me I was so badly beaten and so," my voice cracks again.

Jesus Max keep it together, you're not weak anymore, remember.

He wanted to know so I'll tell him everything so he can walk away like everyone else.

"My insides were so messed up, Draven. I can never have kids. I'll never know what it feels like to have a child because I had a full hysterectomy at eighteen. Do you understand what that feels like, to be told you will never be a parent?" I huff, stepping back.

Still, he says nothing, his body rigid as he continues to focus on nothing but me. Nothing behind his eyes. I didn't expect a huge reaction from him, because let's face it, the man really has no idea what anything other than rage is and he's not even giving me that.

That's fine though, I don't care.

"My body was so addicted to the drugs, that by the time they found me passed out and unresponsive, I went into a cardiac arrest twice from withdrawal during my time in the coma. Then finally... after they let me go, I had a visit from a man, and that man was the father of one of the boys who did this to me. Real piece of work too." A laugh escapes me then. "Told me if I wanted to live, I'd sign the NDA. So, I did." I shrug, looking down at my feet.

"Who?" he simply says, his chest rising and falling, as he takes breaths to calm himself. He did the same thing after Ben.

"Jesus Christ Draven, does it matter?"

"Yes!" His roar echoing through the trees, making me jump.

"No!" I push him again, as hard as I can. "It doesn't! I can't touch him, and neither can you! Nobody can."

He's too high up in his career, there are far too many people that watch out for this man, for anyone to get within a fucking hair's width of him.

This is the first time I've spoken about it to anyone other than my best friend. I've known this guy less than forty-eight hours and here I am, telling him my entire life story.

Do I care if he cares? No. Do I want him to? Some part of me, maybe. The fact I'm even having this conversation is shocking to me. I couldn't just walk away without telling him, he looked into my private life, he broke what little trust I had left.

"That night, I... I tried to kill myself. Overdosed on my brother's painkillers and a full bottle of Vodka. My brother, Jamie, he found me and had me admitted into the psych ward where I tried again. This time, hanging myself, and when that didn't work, I decided I just had to live with it."

I sniff, taking in another deep breath, needing to calm myself down as best as I can. Slowly releasing it from my nose, I close my eyes.

"You told me, in your trailer," I look up at him then, "that the scar on your neck and chest, is where they tried to take your heart... well I know what that feels like too, because I lost mine, when I found out it was my father who set it up." Draven's eyes widen like saucers, I see his foot twitch, but he stays stuck to his spot. I acknowledge the small widening of his eyes with a sarcastic laugh.

"I know right, sucks to be me. He was in debt, and I was his only asset. So just like that," I click my fingers, the only sound within the forest walls. "I was theirs."

My chest and mind are screaming for release, having to go through this whole thing again, with someone I'll never see after the weekend, is embarrassing. He takes a step forward, raising his hand toward me.

"Don't." I raise my arms, stepping further away from him.

I can't stay here anymore, I need to get away, away from whatever the fuck is going on between us and get some space to breathe. "I get this is some kind of game to you, Draven… but this is my life. You can't just go around snooping through people's private information because guess what?" I shrug, holding my arms out beside me. "You might just find something you don't like."

"Stop." His tone is soft but not filled with any type of pity and for that, I'm grateful.

He takes my face in his hands, rolling his thumbs over the invisible tears. The ones that should be there after what I went through.

"Just tell me a name…"

"You don't get it…" I reach up, wrapping my hands round his wrists, pulling them away from me and pushing them against his own chest. "I can't do this, just drop it, ok Draven?"

Turning on my heel, I fast pace it away. The third maze will be starting soon, and I don't want to miss it. I have to get to five. I have to finish; I can't come all this way to fail now.

As I'm walking away, that's when the first tear falls.