20. Draven

R ed. It's all I see.

This feeling is so similar, I swear someone is punishing me for my past failures.

I do know how to breathe, even if I'm struggling to do so. If I don't, my rage will get the better of me and I will haul myself right back to that house and kill that son of a bitch for touching her.

It will be just like that day when I finally got my revenge. My fury was justified, and cutting his throat for taking the only person I ever loved from me was the justice the system failed to give me.

They took her from me, and with her, the heart I had told Max I don't possess.

I can't hold self-pity for not taking action sooner, yet had I noticed the signs, been more attentive, and acted faster for her, she would still be alive.

Max is not my sister, but the moment she screamed for him to get off her, all I felt was rage and inadequacy. If I walked away, letting her find the strength to defend herself but failed, and something happened…

I couldn't see it happen again. Not another failure.

She doesn't strike me as the fragile type, but neither was Alyson. She was a fighter, and a fucking strong one at that.

If I didn't rush out of that house, I would've killed Ben. Max making me stop saved his worthless life. I'm pissed she would see him as someone worth saving. Death deserves to take that vile piece of shit before he has the ability to become what is inevitable.

It's people like Ben who turn into psychopaths. He is dangerous, and is going to apologize to stay in arms reach of what is mine . Max will allow for that because he is what she would classify as a friend.

When I'm a decent distance from her house, my fist collides with the trunk of a redwood. The crack of wood mirroring the splitting sound of my skin between my knuckles.

"The funds will run out after Saturday, Draven…"

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It didn't matter how much I fought and what I did, I still lost her in the end. The money, the requests, nothing mattered because they took the only decent thing this world had.

"Jesus, Big Guy, walk much!?"

Fucking infuriating…

My fist balls to hit the tree again when I feel Shade rub across the back of my legs and sits. He's leaning against me, bringing me back from the furthest depths of my anger. No, my rage. "Is this your way of telling me you don't approve of my life?" I'm not talking to Shade, but instead, Alyson, who I know is not anywhere near this existence.

I don't believe in Heaven or Paradise, but if they existed, she would be there. She deserved that, not floating aimlessly, not around me: Death.

"You always called me the wolf in sheep's clothing." I'm surprised I'm capable of laughing right now, though I don't find it humorous. Perhaps it's my way of crying out of pity for my own failures. "You were wrong, though. I never hid what I was, you just saw me for what I wanted to be for you: Gentle, protective, warm. It was what you deserved."

Taking a deep breath, nature filling my senses, I squeeze my eyes closed. Now all I can see is Max's eyes, the mixture of nature in them and how they've seen far too much. I'm no hero, but damn it, I'll be the shield she never had.

I'll be breaking the rules tonight, and possibly beyond it. I need to get my head straight, and make sure she survives, that's all I care about right now. If I have to drag her ass out of those mazes because she's in too much risk, fine, so be it.

I run my hand through my hair and grip it tightly, staring straight up through the canopy of trees.

"I'm here, I just deposited the funds, please— "

"Draven, I'm sorry…"

"You said Saturday. It's only Sunday!"

"I'm sorry, son."

I was too late for her, twice. Too much time wasted asking myself if I was being overly protective, being overbearing. If I had swung first, and asked questions later, she'd be alive, and I wouldn't even know who Max is.

The notion of fate is delusion wrapped in a pretty bow. However, for the first time since losing my sister, I don't regret where my life has brought me.

Max … she just better fucking listen to me. If anyone knows better about this place, it's me.

Ben better keep his fucking hands to himself because next time, I won't have a single bit of restraint and they will be in a box going home with him. That, or I'll be shipping him in pieces to my own graveyard. He'll be saying hello to my personal collection of graves.

As for Po and Marcella, they better play their game the way it's meant to, or I'll be taking everything they've built since arriving.

Sorry, Max, but even after that clock hits midnight, you are mine.

I'll hand her the gun and let her put a bullet in my head, because that's her only means of escaping me.

A laugh slips through my lips, and I place my hand back onto Shade's head. "At least you get something out of this, you know, belly rubs if she kills me." The howl that comes from him echoes through the trees, releasing the birds that were settled into their nests and the branches above us. "No doubt she'll take care of you, but do not eat dog food. I'll put it in my will."

I feel better, and as much as I want to go right back to Max, drag her out and fuck her blind for making me stop, I won't. She needs to rest and prepare for tonight.

No one understands the depths of my obsession for her, and I'm going to use that to my advantage. Time to see Troy first, where I'll decide whether to thank him or take a finger to feed to Shade. Then, as much as I loathe it, I'll need to see Marcella and Gabe—creepy shit.

Max is strong, but I will make her invincible. I may not believe in Gods, but I'll make sure she is one tonight, and in the end when she has won, I'll praise her as she deserves.