Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

I sat in a chair and contented myself with staring at the cold hearth as I recalled better times.

A knock on the door some time later roused me from my wandering thoughts. The sun had set, and Garron waited outside when I opened the door.

"We have your bed ready," he said.

Behind him, the mattress rested on the table.

With spring fighting for its hold, one's breath was easily visible once the sun set. I didn't understand how they managed to sleep outside. Perhaps they were accustomed to it. I was not.

"It's warmer to sleep inside," I said.

"It's easier for us to watch over you out here. We can't all fit inside."

"I don't need watching inside."

"You have a lump on your head," Brandle said from one of the hanging beds. "You need watching."

I turned to go back inside. Garron surprised me by scooping me into his arms.

"If you wish to leave, you need to heal. If you want to heal quickly, you should listen to Brandle's advice," he said as he strode to the table and set me down again.

"I need rest to heal," I said. "And I won't find it out here. Without Daemon, the sun, and heated rocks, I wouldn't have rested comfortably previously."

A flurry of movement came from the hanging beds, and I turned to see Daemon and Darian drop from theirs. Darian grabbed for Daemon, tripping him and shoving him to the ground so he could race to me.

"I'll do it," Darian said. "I'll warm you tonight."

Daemon snorted and rose to his feet as he brushed himself off. He obviously had the same doubts as I did.

"When did I give you the impression that I was simple or na?ve?" I asked.

Darian chuckled. The low sound wrapped around me.

"Ah, Princess, you cut me to the quick. Allow me the night to bask in your presence. I vow to be the most honorable of men."

"It's best to agree," Eadric said from his hanging bed. "He won't let any of us sleep until you do, and we're all here to ensure he keeps his word."

"No," I said. "I will not sleep beside you, Darian, simply because you wish it. Go away."

I strode past the pair of men and slid my slippers from my feet before climbing into the bed on the table.

"You are all impossibly obstinate." I pulled the cover over my head and closed my eyes, determined to sleep before I noticed the night's chill.

"Insufferable," I added from under my blanket. "Fretting mother hens."

"Go to sleep, Kitten," I heard Brandle call.

"Ass."

Several of them laughed.

"Your temper is showing, Trouble," Edmund said.

Realizing he was right, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then another. And another.

Curled in a tight ball, I shivered, half-aware but mostly asleep as I drifted in frozen misery. An arm settled on my waist. Heat warmed my back, beckoning me. I inched toward it until my icy backside connected with strong thighs through my shift.

"She's too cold."

I agreed with the assessment.

Warmth enveloped my front, and I pressed my nose to it.

"Damn. She's like ice. Should we wake her?"

"Let her sleep," another said as hands captured my feet and tugged my legs straight. The two bodies on either side pressed close as warm fingers massaged heat into my toes.

Exhaling contentedly, I sank deeper into sleep.

"Wake her and die."

The words were softly spoken, no more than a whisper. But the sincere threat in them wormed its way into my consciousness. I became aware of several things. The warmth surrounding me. How one of my legs rested quite comfortably over someone else's. The hand that rested on my thigh. The way my cheek rested on a shirt-covered, muscled chest. The arm over my waist, anchoring my back to someone else's chest.

I opened my eyes and lifted my head to look down at Darian. His heavy-lidded gaze and the way his fingers started moving on my bare leg pierced me with panic.

"What happened to behaving honorably?" I asked.

"How have I behaved dishonorably?" he asked. "You sought my warmth, and I allowed it without touching you as I wished."

I reached down, removing his hand from my leg so I could straighten. When my fingers brushed his thigh, his gaze heated. The desire turned to surprise in an instant when I pinched the inside of his thigh. He scrambled out of the covers with a muttered curse.

"That felt like a damn bee sting, Princess," he said, rubbing the spot.

A low, soft chuckle sounded near my ear, and I twisted to look back at Daemon.

He grinned. "Good morning, Lamb."

Suppressing the urge to pinch him, too, I got out of bed, donned my slippers, and made my way to the privy. By the time I returned, the mattress was gone and the table set for breakfast. I walked right up to Brandle and held his gaze.

"What do you see?" I asked.

He studied me. "A beautiful woman," he said.

I struggled not to make a face. "Are my pupils irregularly dilated?"

"They are the same size."

I took his hand and touched his fingers to the lump on my head. "The swelling is down, do you agree?"

A wariness crept into his gaze. "It is."

"It is still tender to the touch, but my head does not ache. There is no reason for me to sleep outside tonight."

"I see."

"As do I. Six more days, Brandle."

Rather than eat breakfast, I closed myself in the cottage.

My hands trembled as I went to the wash water. Waking up pressed between Daemon and Darian had been undeniably lovely. I could still feel them—Darian partially under me and Daemon pressed against me—and wanted it back. Badly.

Scooping up the cold water, I washed my flushed face.

Think of Eloise, I reminded myself.

After washing, I unwrapped my raw palms, which had been aching since the moment I opened my eyes. The pain wasn't as consuming as the previous day, though, which was a promising sign.

I left the wraps by the washbowl and opened the door, startling Eadric just outside.

"Are you hungry, Sparrow?" he asked.

Ignoring him, I went to the table and sat in front of the single bowl that remained. I could hear voices from the side of the cottage and surmised one or more of the men were washing their breakfast dishes.

Eadric wandered closer as I fed myself. Moving my hands hurt. The air stung the exposed skin. So I ate quickly, shoveling in the meal in a very unbecoming manner. Eloise would have laughed at the show if I hadn't been in pain. But my twin would have known my pain and silently shared my misery. That's how it felt when Eadric sat across from me with a sad expression. He didn't say anything or offer to help. He understood. Just like Eloise would have. My nose started to tingle.

"Fetch the honey and wraps, please," I said.

He glanced behind me. I followed his gaze and saw Brandle holding both.

"Leave them on the table. I'm wise enough not to eat the honey and, as you can see, can use my hands well enough to apply it."

"Why is it so difficult for you to accept our help?" he asked, surrendering nothing.

"It's not difficult at all. I welcome your help. Tell me…what is Turre like? Would I be better served arriving in a dress or disguised as a man?"

Brandle looked down at his hands.

"It is not that I do not accept help," I said. "It is that you are unwilling to truly give it. Whatever scheme is dwelling in your mind, know that I have no desire to partake in it. My priority remains with my sister and my father. I suggest you not attempt to manipulate me any further. I vow the result will not endear me to any of you."

He lifted his gaze to me. "Is that why you're angry? You thought we were attempting to manipulate you? You were cold, Kellen. Daemon and Darian warmed you the same way Daemon had previously. They did not touch you. You touched them. You pulled Daemon's arm around you and pressed yourself against Darian."

I closed my eyes and fisted my hands, using the pain to keep the torrent of emotions at bay, for I knew he spoke true.

"Then, I apologize and beg forgiveness for my behavior," I said.

Fingers brushed my cheek, and my eyes flew open to look up at Brandle. His heated gaze and the way my pulse sped in response terrified me.

"Please leave the honey and wraps. I can care for myself," I said steadily.

"If not me, then allow Eadric to assist you."

"No."

"Stubborn."

"It's not the first time I've been called that, nor the worst I've been called. I find it sad that holding my ground on what is important to me is viewed as unbecoming; yet, when a man holds to his ideals, he is noble and upright. Think of me as you will. It matters not to me, Brandle. But your insistence to tend to me will not result in me consenting to your help. I will gladly endure without."

He held my gaze for a long moment then put the honey and the wraps on the table.

"We've never been to Drisdall," he said. "So I'm unable to compare Turre to it to help you understand what you will find." He sat beside me. "Turre is a beautiful kingdom with rocky hills perfect for sheep and goats and the like."

"What of Adele?" I asked, uncovering the honey and smearing a modest amount on my palm. The relief was instant.

"It's known as the most beautiful city in all the kingdoms due to the white spires of the royal family's castle."

I started wrapping the palm. "I'm sure it is lovely. However, I don't care about the beauty of the castle or what grows there. What of the people? Do they welcome strangers? Will I be met with suspicion?"

"The people fear everything," Eadric said. "The current queen has subjugated them for over a decade. Her guards patrol the streets day and night, stopping those who move about to ask their business and inquire where they live."

"The people are taxed heavily. Any attempts at revolt have been met with immediate, unquestioned death," Brandle said. "Adele is beautiful on the outside but rotten to its core on the inside, and the people are so repressed they are more likely to turn you into the Guard for being a stranger than help you."

"I see," I said. "How are you able to trade there?"

"We have a small network of trusted people. However, each time we trade with them, we risk their lives."

I sighed and lifted my hand to Brandle. He tucked the end of the wrap into place without comment and watched me smear honey on my other palm.

"I refuse to risk one life to save another," I said, my thoughts churning. "Are casters like trackers? Can a person hire their services?"

"Casters are exactly like trackers. The upstanding ones would be unlikely to follow you into the forest."

I kept my gaze on the wrap I wound around my palm. When I finished, I lifted it to Brandle for him to secure. Then, I stood without another word and retreated to the cottage.

From the corner of my eye, I saw all the brothers off to the side.

They'd been listening. Now they knew I understood that I would never find the help I needed in Adele.

"You need to eat," Daemon said from the doorway.

"Do I?" I asked absently, staring at the hearth.

In the hours since breakfast, I hadn't yet thought of a solution to my problem. I needed a caster to break my father's curse. If he were too far gone to be saved, I would still need a caster's help to remove Maeve from her position of power. I dreaded that option, though.

"Lamb, please come out and eat."

According to the books in our attic, each caster's abilities varied. Some were stronger than others. I had no idea how strong Maeve was to know what level of caster to hire. The stronger the caster, the more their services would cost. I had very little coin, only an old letter from the king promising help should my family ever need it. Would that be enough to convince a caster of future payment when I wasn't certain that the crown would willingly pay whatever debt I incurred? And even if it were, could I trust any caster I hired if they were willing to traverse the forest?

The safest option was to free Father from his curse. He had the right to remove Maeve, magic or not. He could use the letter, go to the king, and ask for his help removing her. In the course of her removal, she would either give herself away or leave peacefully. Once she was gone, we could all leave. Perhaps Eloise and I could travel with Father and learn about trade.

But how could I free Father without a caster's help?

I stood abruptly and went to the door, interrupting a hushed conversation by the fire as I swept past them.

"Trouble, you forgot your slippers," Edmund called.

As if I cared about slippers or dirty stockings. My hope to save my sister was crumbling with each hour that passed.

Arms closed around my waist before I could reach the trees.

"Kellen, please," Brandle said.

Anger boiled up within me, and I twisted in his arms.

"Release me or suffer," I said.

"Release you to do what? Walk into the woods so either the tracker or the creatures can capture you?"

"As we've already discussed, my death serves no purpose. Now release me."

He reluctantly did so and followed me all the way to the trees.

"Father," I called. "Are you still with me?"

A hand settled on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

"If he is not, we are," Brandle said.

I turned and saw all of them standing behind me.

Edmund didn't look as angry as he previously had, and it sent a spike of fear through me. Was he masking as I'd shown him, or was he starting to accept my presence here too?

"Are you ready to learn something?" he asked.

The hope that had been withering bloomed a little.

"Yes."

He nodded his head for me to follow and started for the dirt patch in the center of the yard. I readily trailed behind him, aware that the rest were doing the same. When he reached the center, he looked at me.

"I'll be you. Pick who should attack me."

"Pardon?"

"You've been pulled from the clearing, twice, from behind. Brandle could have easily done the same just now. You should learn how to free yourself if it ever happens again. You can't practice yet, but you can watch. Now, who would you like to see me beat?"

"I would prefer not to choose," I said, even though Brandle's name rose to my mind.

Edmund grinned for the first time. "Brandle then."

I didn't argue and watched Brandle approach Edmund and wrap his arms around his brother's middle. Time after time, Brandle landed on the ground in so many ways. Edmund flipped him over his head once, which the others said I would never be able to manage. It led to a discussion about my strength and how to improve it once I was healed.

"Why does she need to be strong when she has us?" Liam asked at one point.

That stopped the debate on what activities would help me gain strength. Even if their plans meant waiting until my palms would be healed, I was grateful I wouldn't need to chop wood.

The most approved method for me to break an attacker's hold was a pinch to a thigh, if I could manage it. Darian promised it was effective. The next most effective way was to twist and drop from my attacker's arms. It looked a little complicated and would likely only work once on an attacker, but it was something.

At some point during the demonstration, Eadric had appeared beside me and fed me bites of a cold stew. I didn't realize I was eating until he asked if I wanted more.

"No, thank you."

He smiled at me, and it seemed to signal the end of the demonstration.

"Why are you all here today?" I asked.

"In four days, you've been attacked twice and tried to run into the forest once," Edmund said. "Why do you think we're here?"

"What are you not doing by being here?" I asked.

No one answered.

"Keep your secrets. The less I know, the better," I said, starting for the cottage.

Darian caught my arm. "Why?"

"Brandle knows," I said, twisting my arm free.

"If you don't care, you'll be able to leave without guilt," Brandle said.

"Precisely. Leave dinner at the door. I will feed myself."

I didn't know why they were attempting to win my affection and feared learning the reason. However, acknowledging the game they played did not stop their attempts to draw me closer.

Liam arrived at the door first to ask my advice for mending a stocking. But the light was better outside, of course, which meant I needed to join them around the table. I declined and said summer would be upon us soon as he would appreciate the extra air on his feet.

Edmund knocked and asked if I wanted more demonstrations. It tempted me, but I said I would prefer to wait until I could participate.

Eadric asked if I wanted some fresh water. I did pass the pitcher to him simply because he understood not to press for more. He returned it full and left me alone.

Daemon asked if I was tired and wished to nap in one of their swinging beds. I declined.

Darian asked if my feet hurt and needed some honey or his tender touch. I snorted and closed the door in his face.

Brandle knocked just before dinner.

I arched a brow at him and leaned against the doorframe, curious what paltry excuse he might offer to lure me from the cottage.

"I believe your father has sent proof that he's still as much of himself as he can be."

I straightened from the door. "How so?"

He motioned for me to follow and led me to the table where several rabbits and some fowl lay discernibly dead but otherwise unmarred.

"They were tossed into the clearing with their necks broken."

"Could it have been the tracker?" I asked.

"Doubtful. He has no supplies for himself and no reason to feed us. And they were tossed from the west, where the shadows are already deepest."

"It is wisest not to make any assumptions," I said. "I would like to believe it's my father, but it seems unlikely that he would maintain his humanity when others have not."

"A few have," Eadric said. "It doesn't make them safe, just smarter than the rest."

I fought the need to wrap my arms around myself by closing my eyes and tipping my head back to the darkening sky. How did this information help me? Did it mean my father would never return to himself? I wouldn't know the answer to that until I found a knowledgeable caster. And therein lay the crux of the problem. I still had no way to approach Adele without risking another's life.

"Would you like me to re-braid your hair?"

The unexpected question had me twisting to look at Eadric.

"You went to sleep with wet hair, and it's only tangled more after last night. I wanted to offer my nimble-fingered services this morning, but after you pinched Darian, I thought it wise to remain silent."

"Why did you change your mind?"

"I thought it might help soothe you. It's a soothing memory for me when Henry used to brush our hair."

Edmund snorted. "He was checking for lice, dolt."

Eadric shrugged and flashed his boyish smile at me.

"I could use some soothing," I admitted. "Thank you."

He beamed and told Edmund to fetch the comb and Daemon to clean the game around back. Then he offered his hand to help me sit at the table. I took it. His warm fingers wrapped around mine, and before I considered the consequences, I stepped close and rested my head against his shoulder.

Reckless.

Dangerous.

Step away.

It mattered little what I knew to be the truth or what I told myself. The loneliness I'd felt as I'd stared up at my bedroom window for the last time could no longer be denied.

Exhaling heavily, I closed my eyes, released his hand, and circled my arms around his waist. He ran a hand over my hair, comforting me more than I'd been comforted since mother passed.

"The future is meant to be uncertain, Sparrow," he said softly. "Don't let the fear of that rob you of living in the present."

The others might have thought Eadric a fool simply because his kindness and good nature blinded them to his insight. But I knew better. He was insightfully caring and smart enough to remain silent or silly to put others at ease. And I liked him greatly for those qualities.

"I rather dislike the present," I admitted. "Nothing good has happened."

"Ah, you mean nothing good happened in the past. The present is now. You holding me as you generously allow me to comb and re-braid your hair is pleasant, isn't it?"

"Careful, Eadric. You almost sounded like Brandle and Darian."

"How so?"

"Obnoxiously perceptive and immodestly flirtatious."

Someone snorted nearby.

"How unthoughtful of me."

I pressed my face into his neck to hide my smile, but I knew he felt it when he chuckled. Knowing it was time, I composed myself and retreated. He didn't stop me.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"I am. Thank you."

"Whenever you need another, I am here to serve."

"The rest of us are willing to line up and continue with these soothing hugs," Darian said from nearby. "I'll go first."

"Would you like another pinch?" I asked.

He scratched his jaw as he considered the question.

"It wasn't an offer," I said.

"I've already told you I'll accept any touch you're willing to give."

"I'll teach you how to throw a punch tomorrow," Edmund said.

I couldn't stop my smile.

"You're all ridiculous."