Chapter Nine

She could tell from his expression that he was trying to find a way to lie to her. Well, not lie exactly, but… Jade sighed. Cam had a tendency to deflect serious topics, or things he didn't want to discuss, with a flirtatious comment or gorgeous, dimply smile.

She wasn't going to fall for it, this time. And she wasn't going to let him get away without answering.

"Cam…" She lowered her voice and took a step nearer to him, holding her arms out. "What is it?"

He didn't respond, but when she wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed her cheek against his shoulder, he didn't pull away. True, he was stiffer than week-old bread, his arms held awkwardly at his sides, but he allowed the embrace.

"Why do you hide who you really are?" she murmured against him.

Slowly, so slowly she might've imagined it, she felt him relax. He exhaled, each moment leeching more of his rigidity, his uncharacteristic severity, from him.

"Cam?" she prompted, tilting her head back to peer up at him, her hands locked behind him.

His own head was tilted back, so he was staring up at the ceiling. Still, she saw a flicker of a wince cross his face.

"My family," he finally confessed. "Families."

There was something…hollow in his admission. She squeezed. "They're the reason you hide your true self?"

He sighed, then lifted his hand to scrub across his face, without touching her. From behind his palm, he admitted, "I've always been an inconvenience to my mother, and her husband has never had a use for me. And my father was…"

Suddenly, it all clicked into place in her mind. She waited for him to finish, and when he didn't, she gently did it for him. "Your father used to be a rake and a charmer, didn't he? So you were following in his footsteps."

He dropped his hand slowly, tipping his head down to meet her eyes. After a long moment, the confusion in his gaze turned to acceptance. "Aye, that's it. I suppose I wanted him to notice me."

"So you became who you thought he would notice." That made sense, in a round-about way. "Did he tell you otherwise?"

With a sigh, Cam wrapped his own arms around her. "He's no' a bad man, ye ken, other than this high-handed marriage by proxy. He cares deeply, and wants to do what's right—"

The parallels were obvious. "Like you?"

"Look, can we have this conversation some other time?"

She smirked, knowing it was hidden against his chest. "Not at all. I'm enjoying myself."

"My feet hurt."

"You're the idiot who fences barefoot."

He smiled, then shifted. "Can we sit down, at least?"

She squeezed again. "I'll let you sit if you tell me why you think your father would like you better as a rake."

"I dinnae." He sighed again, then planted his chin atop her head. "He loves me, but as he settled down—he didnae marry yer aunt until I was already off at school, ye ken—he started to change. For the better, I assume. But I didnae realize that until I was the darling of Society."

Snorting softly, she moved her head out from under him. "Darling of Society? You think highly of yourself."

Instead of returning her banter, he chuckled. "I suppose…it was easy to fall into that role, especially since it was expected of me. Being one of the Kilted Bastards, and all that. And…" He shrugged. "It was what my mother and her husband expected. They said I was lazy, and good for nothing besides hedonism."

"So you embraced it."

"It's easier than fighting what they think of me, but I ken the truth. I proved them wrong." His voice dropped, and she wasn't certain he was still speaking to her when he repeated, "They didnae want me, and they're no' worth the trouble of proving they're wrong about me."

Her heart ached for him. "But you know," she whispered.

His, "But I ken," was barely audible.

She peeked up at him, to see his eyes shut. "And now I do too." She knew the truth about him.

"What?" His eyes flashed open, and he frowned in confusion.

"I know they're wrong about you. Everyone's wrong about you."

His blue gaze caressed her face. "Except ye?"

"Except me," she agreed.

"Can we sit down now? All this lovey-dovey shite and emotional rawness is making my feet hurt more."

She couldn't help it; she began to giggle. Pulling away from him, she twined her fingers through his and pulled him toward the dining room and their improvised little sitting area.

"So…a courtesan who doesn't keep his earnings, a remarkably gifted fencer, the best kisser Society has ever known, and a whiner." She threw him a cheeky grin as she tugged him down to the small chaise. "The whiniest whiner who ever whined—"

"Ye think I'm a good kisser?"

Her grin growing, Jade tucked her feet up under her rear end and turned to face him. This close, she could see something in his eyes which looked like uncertainty. Uncertainty from this man was nearly heartbreaking.

"I know it, remember?" she murmured, laying her palm against his cheek. "You're a brilliant kisser, and a good man, Cam. So tell me what you did with that money."

"God Almighty, Jade!" The words burst out of him with a heavy breath, and he fell back against the chaise. "Ye're no' going to let this go, are ye?"

Still smiling, she rested her elbow beside his head, propped up her chin on her fist, and leaned closer. "I'm no' going to let this go," she repeated breezily. "You might as well tell me. I don't like mysteries."

"I'm no' a mystery."

"You are." She dropped a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth she could reach, then sat up again. "Beautiful, kind, caring, sweet, and keeping secrets."

His eyes were closed, but she could see a muscle in his jaw working as the silence lengthened. Was he contemplating what to tell her?

Finally he exhaled softly. "The Saving Grace and the Rest of Them as Well charity orphanage. I dropped the whole wallet in their collection box."

He'd surprised her. "That was…a ridiculous amount of money, Cam." Her eyes were wide.

He winced. "I dinnae always donate to them. Sometimes to other orphanages, sometimes…" He shook his head. "There are plenty of good causes which need money more than I do."

The part of her which had managed her father's empire for so long, the part which had sat on his knee and learned the ins and outs of business, was still in shock. "You worked for that money, Cam! It was payment—"

When he sat up, turning a glare on her, her lips pressed together.

"I didnae work for it, Treasure, remember? Ye did the work."

"Well, yes, that instance. But I came to you with a purpose, and you gave me what I asked for, and I paid you for it. That's what business is! You're a courtesan—"

A thought interrupted her so suddenly, she gasped aloud. A spasm of something crossed his face, and he turned away.

"You're not a courtesan, are you?" she whispered. "But Lady Melton told her sister, who told me, that you're the best in London. The ladies speak of you in hushed whispers, and your clients all brag…"

He scrubbed a hand over his face. "I'm no' a courtesan," he admitted. "I dinnae keep the money because I dinnae need it. And because…" He sighed, dropped his hand, and rolled his shoulders. "And because I dinnae fook."

"Ye dinnae…fook?"

"I give pleasure, Treasure." He turned back to her, looking more than a little defeated, and took her hands. "Just no' while fooking. My hands, my mouth, my words, sometimes…"

She shivered, remembering exactly how much pleasure he could give with his words, his hands, his mouth. "Yes," she whispered.

When he met her eyes, she couldn't read his gaze.

"Each of my clients kens what I'm willing to give them, and that's all they need. I never asked them to tell their friends differently, but I've heard the rumors too."

"But you do not…fuck them." Ai-ya, but the word felt satisfying on her tongue.

The way his lids lowered slightly told her he wasn't unaffected. "I dinnae."

"I don't understand."

His lips twitched. "My cock doesnae make acquaintance of their wet, dripping cunnies. I dinnae push my turgid sword into their quivering sheaths. I refrain from pounding my thick rod of love into their honeyed channels—"

Her giggles interrupted him, and she knocked her knuckles against his shoulders. "Honeyed channels? Ai-ya, that is dreadful! I meant, why do you not make love to these women? These clients?"

"Make love, hmm?" His fingers tightened around hers, and he took his time answering. "Because…I learned long ago when I fook, my heart becomes involved." He shrugged. "So I vowed only to fook when my heart is involved."

There was a story there. A deep, old pain, perhaps as old as the confessions he'd shared about his family. But Jade knew she'd hear it eventually.

Later.

In the future.

Because there would be a future for the two of them, she was certain now.

She knew what she wanted.

"Cam, you are…remarkable."

He was shaking his head, ready to argue with her, as she lifted her leg and slid it across his thigh. His teeth clicked shut so quickly she thought she heard them. Or perhaps it was just his questioning hum as she shifted her weight, twisted slightly, and straddled him.

"Remarkable," she repeated in a whisper, settling against him. "You speak French, and know your Greek stems," she added, remembering his comments about octopodes. "You're smart, and kind—"

"French is the language of love," he interrupted.

"Stop trying to disparage yourself," she scolded as she scooched closer. "I know you."

Her thighs bracketed his, and she felt stretched. On display, despite being fully dressed.

His.

He, on the other hand, clearly didn't understand the implications. "Jade? What—"

She cupped his cheeks in her palms. "You hide this deep hurt, and determination, and high standards, and brilliant mind, and loving heart. You hide them under a mask of languor and laziness, because you don't want to challenge your family's perceptions of you."

His blue gaze, captured by her hands, raked her face. "Ye see me. The real me."

"I do."

Slowly, she leaned forward, taking his lips with hers.

It was a soft kiss, a slow kiss. Even as it deepened, Jade had the incredible feeling she was holding more than just his cheeks. She was holding his heart, and she knew how special that was.

His arms came up to wrap around her, settling against her buttocks, and she rocked forward. Although he didn't make a sound, she felt his sharp intake of breath at the same moment she registered the hard length of him trapped under his trousers.

It was likely cruel to rock against him again, teasing him, torturing herself. But ai-ya! She couldn't resist the sharp ache of need which pulsed through her.

Her tongue played lazily with his, and she didn't bother hiding her soft hums and mews and whimpers for more more more.

His fingers were digging into her rear end when she finally softened her lips and gently sat back. The movement pushed her pelvis against his once more, and he hissed softly, even as his gaze stroked her features.

"I love ye." He blinked, as if surprised.

Her eyes widened, and a satisfied grin tugged her lips upward. Before she could say anything, however, he pulled her closer.

"Nay, dinnae tell me I'm wrong, Treasure. I shouldnae have blurted it like a fool, but…" He reached up and carefully pulled her hands away from his cheeks, holding them between their bodies. "I love ye." He met her eyes. "These last days have showed me what I want in life."

Her heart was near pounding out of her rib cage, her pulse jumping about in victory. "What do you want in life?" she whispered, breathless.

"Ye, my treasure." Without dropping her gaze, he lifted first one hand, then the other, to his lips, brushing tantalizing kisses across her skin. "I want ye. I want companionship, and laughter, and someone to challenge me."

"At fencing?"

His lips curled into a grin. "At everything. I want—" He bit down on whatever he was about to admit, and his smile turned crooked. Charming.

Ai-ya, those dimples!

"I want ye to want me, Jade, as much as I want ye."

"Never doubt that." She twisted her fingers in his until she could touch his jaw. "Haven't you been paying attention to my not-very-subtle hints these last days?"

His grin turned wry. "Ye're insatiable."

She rocked forward again, her core—aching, pulsing, moist—cradling his hard length. "Only for you," she whispered boldly.

He groaned, his palm somehow finding its way to rest against the side of her neck. "God Almighty, lass, but ye're going to kill me."

"I'd like to fook you now, Cam."

"It'll be making love." His eyes met hers, and she felt a surge of victory when he finally confessed, "And I'd verra much like that too."

***

Cam surrendered to the inevitable.

Since that night in the hotel, since the moment his lips had claimed hers for the first time, since he'd watched her confidently fooking herself while he stroked his cock…he knew this would happen again.

He'd fought it. He'd tried to do the right thing, to be strong. But God knew he wanted this more than anything else he could imagine.

He wanted her.

She's an adult, and a brilliant one at that. She kens the reasons no' to do this.

So the fact she did want to do this…

Cam's subconscious likely had other things to say, other points to debate…but at that moment, Jade reached for the buttons of her high-necked blouse, and suddenly he couldn't form a single coherent thought.

He gave up arguing and reached to help her.

Undressing her seemed to take forever, in the most wonderful way. As the sky outside the window slowly darkened, and the logs popped and hissed in the hearth, he took his time stroking and kissing and nipping her flesh.

God Almighty, but this slow torture was everything he could've hoped for!

He was delighted to discover she hadn't bothered with her corset after she'd changed, which meant, once he pushed her blouse off her shoulders, the only thing standing between him and those delicious, dark nipples was a thin layer of cotton.

They were already stiff with anticipation, pebbling beneath his gaze.

He lowered his lips to her, pulling one into his mouth, teasing the peak as his tongue rasped against the wet cotton. With her arms trapped at her sides by her blouse, all she could do was tilt her head back and moan in encouragement.

Pulling away, he blew a gentle breath across her chemise, and could see small bumps rise across her chest as she shivered. The movement ground her pelvis against his, and his cock jumped in helpless anticipation.

Down, laddie, he warned himself.

Patience would be worth it. He was finally getting what he'd been longing for.

Longing for? Lust has addled ye.

Aye. His lips twitched as he switched their attention to the opposite nipple. He was addled, certainly. Addled for Miss Jade Thacker.

His possible wife.

Nay, after tonight: his definite wife.

No matter what Da confessed when they confronted him about the legality of this marriage by proxy.

Because Jade wanted this as much as Cam did, and he knew she knew what that meant.

After tonight, their future was sealed.

"Cam!" she gasped, her fingers digging into his hair. "Ai-ya!" She muttered something else in another language, and he chuckled around her nipple.

His hands stroked upward, tugging at the straps of her chemise, and he switched his kisses to her bare skin. "Do ye realize I cannae understand ye, Treasure?"

She groaned, grasping at his shoulders now, her breaths coming faster and faster. "I'll have to teach you—Oh! Yes, just like that."

Apparently he could teach her a few things, too.

"This…hardly seems…fair!" She seemed to be having trouble controlling her thoughts. "I want to—to touch—Oh!"

Chuckling, he slid her blouse off her arms, and helped her shrug out of her chemise. "Ye're telling me ye want me to remove my shirt as well?" he asked as he cupped her breasts, flicking his thumbs over her engorged nipples.

Her head was tipped back, her eyes closed. "Mmm. Shirt," she murmured, arching into his hand and making little movements with her pelvis he could only classify as desperate.

"Yer wish is my command, Treasure."

She made a little sound of disappointment when he dropped his hands away from her skin, but she soon grinned and began to help him, teasing him with her lips just as much as he'd done to her.

Their clothes seemed to fall off in a haze of cotton and desire, hands and fingers and lips everywhere. She ended up clambering off his lap in order to allow him to slide his trousers off, and he reached forward eagerly to help her with the clasp at her skirt's waist.

As the material fell around her legs, Cam's mouth went dry.

Or perhaps that was because of the wicked gleam in her eyes as she stepped out of the pile of her clothes and straddled his lap once more.

God Almighty, but she was already wet enough, he felt her slide along his thighs, her dew already seeping across his skin.

"Lass," he groaned, lowering his lips to her neck. "Ye're certain about this?"

And that's when her hand closed around his cock, and he jerked hard enough to slam his temple into her jaw.

She huffed softly, which might've been a giggle. "Oh, I'm certain. I've wanted this for… Ai-ya, Cam, this feels…"

She blew out a breath at the same time he sucked one in, and he felt as if they were sharing a life. "I promise ye, whatever ye're feeling, I'm feeling it ten times better." He shut his eyes, and with a groan, dropped his forehead to her shoulder. "Jade, ye're killing me."

"Shush. I'm exploring." And she was, her second hand joining her first, cupping, stroking, caressing. "Do you realize you're leaking?"

The sound which emerged from his throat was half laugh, half groan. "Ye're doing this on purpose, are ye no'? Torturing me."

"Well, you've seen all of me, and touched and tasted as well. I haven't had the opportunity." Humming, she dragged her palm all the way to the tip of his cock. "That night at the hotel, you moved your hand up and down your shaft like this. I watched in the mirror."

God Almighty, she had. It had made him so fooking aroused, to see her gaze on him masturbating to her own pleasure. And now…

Swallowing, he reached for himself, closing his hand around hers, trapping it against his skin. "Like this, lass," he managed hoarsely, guiding her gently in her strokes. "This is what feels good."

Her eyes were wide, staring down between them. "Why?"

"Because it's what I want to be doing to ye. Do ye understand?" She had the correct rhythm now, so Cam switched his hand to her curls, displayed delectably across his thighs. "I want to be here, moving that way."

She whimpered slightly as his fingers found her wet lips, spreading them farther, stroking them.

"It feels so good, Treasure, to be dipping in and out of ye." His fingers mimicked his words, as his thumb found her clitoris and his lips dropped to her shoulder. "I want to make ye mine."

Breathless, she managed, "But…oh! You said…Cam!"

"Easy, lass, take yer time."

The order did nothing to help, as she squirmed against his touch. Her fingers were still wrapped around his cock, but weren't moving. He assumed he'd distracted her.

She was rocking forward, gyrating her pelvis, as if trying to make him dip deeper, harder. He obliged, and she moaned.

"You want to be inside me?" she panted. "You're sure?"

He wanted it more than his next breath.

But all he could do was growl, "Aye," against her skin.

"Your heart—Oh!"

She would remember that, wouldn't she? He lifted her head and—fingers still inside her—met her eyes.

"I love ye, Treasure. My heart is verra much involved, and my cock kens it too."

Her lips curled upward, slowly at first, then growing into a brilliantly clear, genuine smile.

She leaned forward, her fingers caressing him. "Make love to me, Cam."