Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Garron looked away and started to stand. I grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Please, Garron. I’m going mad with frustration. The books speak of things I don’t understand. If you do, please teach me. Please. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

He looked at me, his gaze dipping to where my chest pressed against the edge of the tub.

“Will you kiss me, Snow?” he asked softly, his cheeks coloring brightly.

“A kiss freely given in exchange for your guidance?”

“Yes.”

“Close your eyes, Garron.”

Once I knew he couldn’t see me, I rose to my knees and leaned out of the water to cup his cheeks. The stubble of his emerging beard teased my fingers, and I gave in to the need to caress it. I watched his face as I touched him. His brow moved slightly. Perhaps wonder. Perhaps nerves or anticipation.

I checked that the lid on the well was tightly closed then tried to feel what he felt. It came easily. Adoration. Desire. So much of it.

He wanted my kiss. No, he craved it.

Leaning closer, I brushed my lips lightly over his. They were soft and warm and welcoming. His parted, inviting me to deepen the kiss, allowing me to lead. My heart gave a fluttering beat. Heat pulsed around me. In me.

I tentatively stroked my tongue against his bottom lip and felt his hand settle on my hips. The heat of his touch on my bare skin warmed me from the inside.

The well gave a shudder, and I quickly pulled back.

“I can’t, Garron. It’s too danger?—”

He opened his eyes and darted forward to cover my mouth with his.

I sank into the desire…the feel of his lips…the caress of his hands over my wet sides. When he finally pulled back, I struggled to remember why we needed to stop.

Then I opened my eyes and saw his charm glowing brightly.

“Don’t,” he said the second guilt claimed me. “You didn’t hurt me.”

“Because of the charm. Without it, I would be a monster and hurt what I hold dear. Help me, Garron. I never want to hurt anyone.”

He nodded once, his gaze dipping to my lips.

I decided for him and leaned in to give him one more chaste kiss.

“Thank you, Garron,” I whispered against his lips.

He nodded, and when I pulled away, I saw he’d closed his eyes.

Giving into temptation, I stole another kiss then turned my back on him and sank into the tepid water.

A moment later, I listened to him leave. Alone, I heated the water while I sat in it without any ill effects then looked for the soap to wash. It was out of reach.

Daemon.

I shook my head and debated what to do.

“Are you all right, Trouble?” Edmund asked.

“Yes. No. Daemon is an ass and left the soap out of reach. And no, I don’t want anyone barging in here under the pretense of help. I’ve given as much as I’m willing to give today. Unless one of you is interested in feeling the heel of my hand against your nose, I suggest you all remain outside.”

“Does this mean you won’t join us for dinner, Kitten?”

I knew they were purposely provoking me, but knowing didn’t stop my reaction. I slapped the water with an open palm in frustration. Water splashed upward then stayed where it was. Droplets the size of rain hovered in the air before my eyes.

Focusing inward, I replaced the lid on the well and pushed down everything I was feeling. The droplets fell into the water.

Movement at the window caught my eye, and I saw Eadric there. He smiled warmly at me and clapped. His enthusiasm vanquished any irritation I might have felt at being spied upon. Instead, I smiled slightly, crooked my finger, and pointed to the soap out of my reach. He nodded and disappeared.

When the door opened, I didn’t turn to look. I didn’t need to. I heard the grumbling of the others.

“How does he get away with everything?” Daemon muttered.

“If I looked through the window, my nose would suffer,” Darian said.

“Better your nose than your bollocks,” Edmund said.

“If you keep complaining, she’ll think you’re jealous,” Garron said.

Eadric grabbed the soap and handed it to me. I shook my head and ducked under the water. When I emerged, I looked at him.

“Would you mind washing it?”

“Sparrow, I’ve dreamed of helping you bathe,” he said happily as he sat on the floor beside the tub. He gently lathered the strands, playing with them more than washing them.

The temperature in the room dipped considerably, and I heated the water several times.

“Does it tire you to do that?’ Eadric asked, noticing the increased steam rising from the water.

“No. According to what I’ve read, each caster’s endurance is different. Some tire more quickly while others don’t. I am not yet sure of my capacity, though, as the book speaks in confusing circles about a person’s inherent energy level.”

“Then we shouldn’t unnecessarily tire you. Edmund, come tend the fire so Sparrow doesn’t catch a chill.”

The latch didn’t rattle before I heard Edmund’s footfalls on the floor.

“It would be less chilly in here if you had closed the door,” I said.

“It would,” Eadric said. “But then how could my brothers watch all the liberties you allow me?”

I tipped my head back to look up at Eadric. “Are you boasting to them again?”

“Absolutely.” He grinned, darted in to kiss my forehead, then licked his lips. “A little soapy.”

I snorted at his absurdity and didn’t question when he dipped his hand into the bath water to clean the soap from my forehead. When he rinsed his hand, his fingers brushed over my nipple. I swatted his hand away, splashing him in the process. He chuckled and returned to washing my hair as I glanced at Edmund, who was focused on adding logs to the fire.

“Your brother’s pet name should be Trouble, not mine,” I said.

Edmund glanced at me and nodded. His gaze dipped to the water and then to his brother.

“He’s knotting your hair,” he said before turning back to the fire.

I reached up and indeed felt the tangle he was creating.

“It’s clean enough, Eadric. Time to rinse.”

“How do I do that?”

Edmund stood. “Let me.”

“Then I’ll wash something else,” Eadric said. I watched him closely as he moved from the end of the tub to the side. As Edmund poured warm water over my hair, Eadric plucked my pruning hand from the water and used a cloth to start washing it.

“I can do that myself.”

“You can,” he agreed. “But then, what would I do?”

“Leave?”

“If I leave, I won’t be able to help dry and dress you.”

“You’re not drying me, Eadric.”

“Did you hear that? She didn’t say no to dressing her.”

I gave a choked laugh. “You’re incorrigible.”

He placed that hand back in the water and reached for the other. In the process, he brushed the back of his hand over my breast.

“Are you determined to slyly touch every inch of me before this bath is done?” I asked.

“No. Just your breasts. It drives them mad that I can get away with that much when they get cuffed for much less. My success in the face of their failures is good for their spirits.”

“How so?”

“It keeps them humble and determined.”

I tipped my head to look at Edmund. “Do you feel humbled and determined?”

“Very,” he said, not meeting my gaze.

I lifted a hand to touch his cheek. His gaze met mine then dipped to the tub. Eadric’s fingers gently plucked at the nipple that was now out of the water due to my position. I tried to drop my arm, but Edmund caught my hand and kept it pinned to his cheek.

“Will you kiss me, Trouble?”

“No.”

“Perhaps she’s tired of giving all the kisses and wants one in return,” Eadric said a moment before his mouth closed over my breast.

I gasped and stared at Edmund with wide eyes.

A glow appeared under his shirt, growing stronger with each swirl of Eadric’s tongue.

“Breathe, Trouble,” Edmund said, leaning closer.

He brushed his lips over mine, adding to the confusing emotions storming me.

The light in the room increased with each shuddering breath and exploded to blinding levels when Eadric drew my nipple firmly into his mouth.

“Enough, Eadric and Edmund,” Brandle said. “We agreed to take only what she freely gives.”

Edmund drew back enough to look at me.

“Kiss me, Trouble. Please.”

The sexy bow of his bottom lip beckoned me. I wanted more. More kissing. More touching.

Eadric’s mouth left me.

“Did you like my kiss, Sparrow?” he asked.

I closed my eyes and tugged my hand free of Edmund’s hold.

“Is my hair rinsed?” I asked instead of answering.

“It is.”

“Go. Both of you.”

“But I can help dry you,” Eadric said.

“Go,” I repeated.

I listened to their retreat and the sound of the door closing. My limbs shook as I stood and dried. My hands gradually stopped trembling as I dressed, but the feel of Eadric’s mouth lingered.

It took a long while to calm.

Once my hair was dry, I worked through the knots Eadric had created and then attempted to read the next lesson in the book. The words held no meaning, though. My mind lingered on the bath and how I’d allowed two men to kiss me at the same time.

With a sigh, I set the book aside and went to the door. I opened it quietly and watched the brothers. Daemon lounged in his bed as usual, his leg hanging over the edge, idly swinging. Garron paced at the edge of the clearing. Brandle and Edmund were missing, but I heard the ax behind the cottage. Eadric was sniffing appreciatively over the cooking pot. And Liam and Darian were sparring.

Everything appeared unchanged, but I knew nothing remained the same. I had changed. How they saw me had changed. How and why remained a mystery that I couldn’t question. I could only hope to discover the answers before I lost more of myself to this place.

I glanced at the late afternoon’s long shadows and quietly slipped from the cottage.

As soon as I rounded the back, Brandle noticed me. He straightened away from the pile of wood he was stacking and watched me close myself into the privy. The continued sound of chopping gave me a false sense of safety, causing me to jump when I opened the door again and found Brandle there.

He’d set the washbowl and soap on a tall log beside the privy.

“So you can wash in peace,” he said softly.

I warmed the water and washed quickly, aware he was lingering.

“Speak what’s on your mind, Brandle,” I said.

“I’m uncertain what to say. I’m afraid they pushed you too far. I’m afraid you’ll leave.”

I wiped my hands on my skirt and met his gaze. “Given the frequency in which you and your brothers test me, I can understand your concern. However, I have no desire to reassure you after each occurrence. Instead, I find myself in need of comfort and assurance.

“I stand by my vow to give whatever is needed to save my sister. Yet, I find myself doubting.”

“Doubting what?”

“My purpose here and whether you and your brothers are treating me fairly…or if I am simply being used for your amusement.”

“Kellen, I?—”

“Truthfully, it matters little so long as you fulfill your promise. I do not hold my virtue at a higher value than my life. If I must sacrifice it, so be it. I will sacrifice whatever is necessary to secure the help I need. But I would like your assurance that you are not using me cruelly, Brandle. I have suffered enough, I should think. I’ve lost everyone dear to me. Must I lose myself, too?”

He pulled me into his arms, hugging me close. I set my head on his shoulder and returned the hug, needing the comfort.

“Forgive us, Kellen. I vow that we are not using you for our entertainment. Never.”

I nodded against his neck but didn’t release him, pretending for a few precious moments that he was Eloise. If she were here, I would have confided everything to her. My frustration regarding my magic. My fear that I was being used. The beauty and wonder of what I could do and what the men in this glade often made me feel.

“I will warn the others to stay away,” he said.

“We both know that distance from each other will not help me do what I must. If it were an option, you wouldn’t have asked me not to close myself in the cottage. Rather than warn them away, remind them I am a daughter and sister, grieving the loss of her family while struggling to understand powers that could see her forever removed from her home. I am risking everything to help you and your brothers and my sister. All I ask for in return is your consideration of the emotions I am forever struggling to contain for the safety of everyone.”

His hand stroked over my hair.

“We have been so focused on reassuring you that your emotions can’t hurt us, and we’ve forgotten that they can hurt you.”

His understanding brought forth a dangerous tingling in my nose and eyes. I took a few calming breaths before continuing.

“I thought that I’d long ago stopped caring what others thought of me. However, the idea of people learning what just happened…I am not as immune to the harsh judgment of others as I believed.”

“What part of what happened?” Brandle asked.

“Your brothers kissed me at the same time , Brandle. Do you know what type of woman allows that?”

His hand left my hair to nudge my head. I reluctantly met his gaze.

“The type of woman who we will forever protect and never betray,” he said.

I studied his sincere expression and nodded. It mattered little if they would betray me or not. Without their help, I would never reach Turre.

“I see the despair and hopelessness hiding in your gaze, Kitten. We will prove ourselves to you and earn your trust, starting with Garron. His abilities are rudimentary compared to Henry’s, but he will do what he can to help guide you when you’re ready.”

Hope ignited within my well.

“I’m ready now,” I said, withdrawing from Brandle’s embrace.

The corners of his eyes crinkled with his smile.

“Then go find him.”

“Thank you.”

I turned and found Edmund watching us from his place by the woodpile. His gaze tracked me as I retreated to the front of the house where the others watched me as well. No one spoke to me, though, or attempted to stop me on my way to Garron.

“What are you doing?” I asked as I approached.

“Watching the men in the woods,” he said. “They gathered more wood. I’m not sure how. The beasts are waiting in the shadows.”

“How are you watching them?” I asked.

“The same way you saw the weather. It’s more like feeling than seeing.”

Standing beside him, I looked out at the trees and opened myself to what was around me while keeping the lid firmly covering the well. I felt the weather first—a mist would come tomorrow with warmer temperatures—then attempted to feel the men.

“I don’t feel them, only the weather.”

“The weather is bigger and easier to feel. They’re smaller, like the trees. Can you feel those?”

I focused on the tree in front of me and attempted to feel it.

“No.”

“Can you feel me?”

I knew I could…if I opened the well a little. His concern wrapped around me an instant later. I focused on the tree and felt it. Its age. Its energy. It had no emotions; it simply was . Moving beyond it, I found more trees. Then the beasts.

Nudging the lid a bit more, I let myself feel them like the day I’d felt my father. Each beast’s energy resonated differently from the one before it, like variations in shades of color rather than different colors.

Then I felt the men. Their anger. Their fear. Their determination.

“They will try again soon,” I said. “Likely with the mist tomorrow morning. The one I unmanned is angry. He wants to hurt me for what I did.”

“We won’t let him,” Garron said.

I tilted my head, staring at the trees but not focused on them. The vibrations of the men were like those of the beast. They varied slightly. But they had something with them. Something that was exactly the same yet separate.

“I feel something wrong.”

I turned and focused on the brothers. Similar vibrations like the beasts. And something that was exactly the same.

Without thinking, I reached out to Garron and set my hand on his amulet hidden under his shirt. It pulsed under my palm in time with my heartbeat. I could feel the same pulse in the other amulets.

“Snow?”

“The men have charms too,” I said. “I can feel them. They’re like yours. Protection, perhaps?”

I frowned at what that might mean. Why would Maeve send men protected from magic to retrieve me? Did she know I could cast? But how when I hadn’t even known when I’d left?

“Can casters sense one another?” I asked.

“If a caster is not masking their presence, yes,” Garron said. He took my hand, gently dislodging it from his charm.

“I apologize,” I said.

“We trust you, Kellen. I removed your hand to hold it because you looked worried, not because I thought you might do something.”

“I am worried. Why do they need protection against magic?”

Understanding lit his gaze. “You fear that they know you can cast. I doubt that is the case. Not all charms are to protect against magic. Likely, theirs are to protect against the beasts. But it would be wise to teach you how to sense magic.”

We stood by the trees and practiced until the light faded from the sky. By the time we turned to join the others for a late meal, I could feel the barrier that kept the beasts from the glade. It pulsed like the charms around each of the brothers’ necks. The same but different. Theirs were so much stronger than the barrier and the charms with the trackers in the woods.

“The book speaks of determining the energy used to cast based on how much is depleted from one’s well. How do I know how much is in my well?” I asked between the bites of stew Eadric fed me.

“I struggled with that too,” Garron said. “It’s a feeling, like sensing the barrier.”

“I can’t feel anything though.”

Garron nodded. “I was the same and found it very frustrating. Henry told me to be patient. He said gauging the cost is something we learn as we cast more spells. He was right. I began to feel the cost the more I did. Once I felt the cost, I could sense what was in the well.”

“Which is the opposite of what the books say,” I said.

Garron grinned slightly. “Casting does test one’s patience.”

Eadric chuckled at the face I made and fed me another bite.

“You look like you could use a cuddle, Lamb,” Daemon said. “Join me, and I’ll help you forget your frustrations.”

“It is your turn to wash the dishes, isn’t it?” I guessed.

“No, it’s Brandle’s.”

I gave him a suspicious look.

“I believe I’ll rest inside.”

“It would be better if we remain outside tonight,” Garron said. “We will be more aware when the mist rolls in.”

“Mist?” Brandle asked.

“Kellen said the trackers will likely attack with the mist in the morning.”

The brothers all looked at me, and I shrugged lightly.

“I can feel the mist, and I can feel their intent. The one I unmanned is angry and wants to take me quickly. The one I injured is still in too much pain to move.” I paused eating and looked at the trees. “I don’t know if he will be able to join the others when they attack.”

“If he doesn’t, that would give one of us a chance to check for the charm you mentioned,” Garron said.

“Alone?” I asked at the same time Edmund and Brandle said, “Charm?”

“She can feel they have something with them that’s similar to our amulets.”

Eadric fed me another bite then darted forward to lick my bottom lip.

“I missed a little,” he said. “Tastes better on you than from the bowl.”

“How does he get away with it?” Daemon muttered. “I bet he could have had her bathed and redressed before she noticed.”

“I’ll take that bet,” Eadric said.

“No you won’t,” I said firmly, trying to ignore the flush creeping into my cheeks and the tingle of awareness in my breast.

He nodded solemnly to me but gave Daemon an exaggerated wink.

“Impossible, annoying men,” I muttered.