Chapter 17

CHAPTERSEVENTEEN

That night, Lara lay on the bed in the hotel room, stuffed so full she felt a little sick, but very happy. The day had been so fun. The Space Needle was cool, but crowded, and none of them had been overly impressed with the view. How could they after seeing the city from the helicopter?

They’d wandered around Pike Place Market, been grossed out at the gum wall, and eaten at Ivar’s. She’d managed to snag the bill, even though both Stone and Owl got pissed at her for waylaying the waitress when she’d gone to the restroom. They’d insisted this was a business trip and The Refuge was footing the bill, but she’d wanted to thank both men personally. And it wasn’t as if she’d been spending any money recently. She had a very healthy bank account, thanks to her parents, and she felt bad that she hadn’t been doing her share of paying her way.

The hotel room was dark and the TV was on. All three of them had gotten ready for bed and were watching a Seinfeld rerun. She loved this show; it was so stupid, and the characters so over the top, but also hilarious.

Turning onto her side, Lara studied Owl’s profile.

Obviously feeling her stare, he turned to her. “What?” he asked in concern.

“Nothing. I’m just content,” she said softly.

He smiled. “Me too.”

She drifted off not long after, and she wasn’t sure how much later it was when she felt herself being turned and Owl cuddling up behind her. She snuggled into him and immediately fell back to sleep. Not even the excitement about picking up the helicopter the next morning could keep the exhaustion and full belly from knocking her out.

Lara didn’t know what woke her a second time. The TV was off and the room was dark and quiet. The only illumination coming from a light in the parking lot peeking in from the curtains that hadn’t quite been closed all the way.

Then a loud noise startled her, making her jump. It must’ve been what woke her in the first place. It sounded like a cross between a cry and a scream. Coming up on her elbow, Lara looked across the room toward the sound…and realized the heartbreaking noises were coming from Stone.

He lay on the other bed, tossing and turning as the distressing whimpers and groans came from deep within his throat.

“Stay here,” Owl ordered as he shifted off the bed behind her.

Lara couldn’t move if her life depended on it. She thought she understood nightmares, having had many of her own. But this was horrifying.

Stone’s head thrashed back and forth and his hands were up in a defensive position. He jerked every now and then, as if reacting to some sort of external stimuli…like someone hitting him. No real words came out, at least none that Lara could understand. She wanted to wake him up. Shake him to make him stop experiencing whatever it was his brain was showing him, making him think he was actually suffering through some horrible experience.

But even more heartbreaking was the idea that someone had done this to him in real life. Stone was likely reliving events from when he was a POW. Whatever he was dreaming about had probably actually happened. And Owl had been through it with him.

Owl was standing between the beds now, putting himself between her and Stone. Protecting her just like he had in that basement.

“Wake up, Stone!” Owl called urgently.

His words seemed to have no effect on his friend. Stone continued to thrash on the bed, defending himself from phantom enemies, those awful noises still coming from deep inside.

“You’re safe. We aren’t there anymore. Snap out of it, Stone,” Owl said. He reached down and touched his shoulder.

Which seemed to make him fight even harder.

To her surprise, the easygoing friend she’d spent the last month getting to know morphed into someone she didn’t recognize. Stone instantly sat up, his eyes open but unfocused, and swung at Owl. And he didn’t pull his punch either. He was genuinely trying to hurt his friend. To protect himself.

It was scary. And so fast. Owl managed to block Stone’s first punch, but wasn’t so lucky with the second. The dull thud it made against Owl’s cheek made Lara flinch.

“Stone! It’s me! Owl. You’re good. You’re in Seattle. Wake up!”

The fear and concern in Owl’s tone made Lara want to cry. She was sitting up at this point, feeling powerless to help in any way. She understood now why both Stone and Owl had been so adamant about her not touching Stone if he had a nightmare, and why he had offered to sleep in the car.

It took another minute or two, minutes that felt like hours to Lara, but eventually Owl seemed to be getting through to his friend.

“That’s it, wake up. You’re safe. I’m not them. You’re here in Seattle with Lara and me.”

Stone blinked as he stilled on the bed.

“Will you get the light, sweetheart?” Owl asked, keeping a hand on Stone’s shoulder as he crouched down to seem less threatening.

She did as Owl asked, and winced as her eyes adjusted to the bright light.

By the time she could see clearly again, Stone was completely awake. And he looked…devastated. His hair was sticking up all over his head and without his glasses on, he seemed even more vulnerable.

“Fuck,” he swore as he ran a hand through his messy hair and scooted up on the bed, collapsing against the headboard.

“It’s okay,” Owl soothed.

“Like hell it is! I fucking hate dreaming,” Stone said in a tone Lara had never heard him use before. It was desolate. Defeated.

“Don’t hate the dreams, hate the men who put them there,” Lara said before she thought better of it.

Stone turned to her. He glared for a moment, then sighed, and all the emotion on his face disappeared as if it had never been there in the first place.

Lara took a deep breath and continued. He might not appreciate her thoughts, but she couldn’t not say them.

“Hating the dreams is like hating yourself, which makes no sense. You went from having complete control to having none. After watching you and Owl today, seeing how you easily handled that helicopter with confidence, I understand a little better now how going from having such control, to being shot out of the sky and imprisoned, is a hard thing to come to terms with.

“I hated not having control over my own situation…though what happened to me in no compares to what you and Owl went through. Personally, I’m impressed you’re as well-adjusted as you are.”

Stone chuckled. It was a rusty sound and not quite a humorous one, but at least he wasn’t intent on killing Owl anymore. “She doesn’t pull any punches, does she?”

“No, I don’t,” Lara answered, even though Stone wasn’t talking to her. “Not anymore. Look, I’m probably not the best person to give advice, I’m still pretty screwed up myself, but I think having nightmares is normal after what you’ve gone through. Not normal as in nice or pleasant, but you’re a pretty even-keeled man, Stone. You’re charming, pleasant, you don’t seem introverted, or even all that fazed by what happened to you…on the outside. You clearly don’t let out your thoughts or feelings, at all. So your dreams are a way of doing that.

“I’m thinking you need to find a way to let out the poison that’s festering inside you. Right now, that’s only through nightmares. Maybe it’s time to take up a hobby. Wood chopping, kung fu, WWF wrestling…anything that can release some of the aggression you still feel deep down over what happened.”

Silence filled the room, and Lara was afraid she’d overstepped. She just hated seeing her new friend so…helpless. Because Stone was anything but helpless. Not even close.

“I’m sorry. I obviously don’t know what I’m talking about and—”

“No, don’t apologize. You’re right. I know you are. I just…it’s hard.”

“I know. Believe me, I do. But I’m here right now, away from The Refuge, and trust me, it wasn’t easy to step outside my comfort zone and join you guys. I’m not cured, the anxiety is still there. I’m still afraid of Carter finding me, but hiding out means he won. And the last thing I want is for him to win in any way.”

Stone looked contemplative and nodded before looking up at Owl. “You okay? Did I hurt you?”

“With your pansy-ass left hook?” Owl joked. “Not a chance.”

Lara could see the bruise on her man’s cheek from where she sat on the bed. Stone hadn’t held back, and his punch was anything but pansy-ass. But she loved Owl even more for downplaying what his friend had done.

Stone inhaled deeply before looking back over at Lara. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” she reassured him immediately.

“Good. And…thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Lara said, thankful that Stone seemed calmer. But now that she’d seen how much anger, hurt and, yes, terror, he’d been hiding deep inside, she admired him even more. How he could ever stay calm in the face of danger was even more impressive with the amount of turmoil rolling around inside him. She didn’t know if he’d ever been to therapy—she assumed he had—but it was obvious he was still working through everything that happened to him.

Owl stood and went to the bathroom, returning with a wet washcloth. He handed it to Stone as he said, “For your hand. Gotta keep the swelling down because I’m not flying your ass all the way back to New Mexico. You’re gonna need to do your part too.”

Stone chuckled, and this time the sound was more like his old self. “As if I’d let you have all the fun,” he grumbled, even as he put the cool compress on his knuckles.

Owl clasped his friend on the shoulder as he stared into his eyes. Then he nodded once and clicked off the light on the table between the beds.

As before, it took Lara’s eyes a moment to adjust, and as they did, she felt the mattress depress right before Owl’s arms wrapped around her and he pulled her against him once again.

A few minutes went by in silence before Lara sighed and said into the quiet room, “Does this mean neither of you is gonna sleep the rest of the night? Because I thought I’d cured Owl of that.”

Both men laughed.

“You gonna come over here and snuggle with me to help me sleep?” Stone teased.

“No way in hell,” Owl responded for her.

Lara giggled. “No, but I also don’t want you to lie there staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night, like Owl used to do. If you need to get up, shower, eat, watch TV, go for a run…do it. What do you usually do when you have a nightmare and wake up?”

“Lie in bed and stare at the ceiling,” Stone said dryly.

Lara sighed and sat up. “Fine. Since we’re all up, and it’s likely no one is sleeping, why don’t we order room service?”

“You can’t possibly be hungry again,” Owl said incredulously.

“I could eat,” Lara said with a shrug. “Besides, I didn’t say I wanted a meal. I saw they had cookies on the all-night menu. And cheesecake. I could go for some sugar. Do they still have pay-per-view movies in hotels?”

“We could just log into my Netflix and find a movie,” Stone said.

“All right, but it needs to be something testosterone-y. Like, full of men blowing stuff up and explosions and fights and stuff. You need that,” Lara said.

She wasn’t sure how she had come to that conclusion, but when both Owl and Stone nodded, she was relieved she assumed correctly.

“I’m gonna turn the light on again. Close your eyes,” she warned.

The light came back on and she sat up to glance at Owl. He was looking at her with love and adoration. Arousal shot through her…because he usually looked at her like that after he’d come deep inside her. But nothing was going to happen with Stone there, and she was more concerned about their friend than having sex.

Owl squeezed her thigh under the covers, then got up once more. He walked over to the room service menu and handed it to Lara. “You pick,” he said.

“Okay,” she agreed happily. Glancing over at Stone, she saw he was studying her. “What?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

“I get why Owl can sleep through the night now.”

Lara frowned. “You do?”

“Uh-huh.” Stone shared a look with Owl above her head.

Lara turned to glance at him, but he simply shrugged. She decided it didn’t matter why Stone thought Owl’s insomnia seemed to be gone, she was just glad it was…and tonight didn’t count. Extenuating circumstances and all that.

“Right,” she said, turning her attention back to the menu. “Chips and salsa, two orders of chocolate chip cookies, hot chocolate, and a slice of strawberry cheesecake we can all share. That good for you guys?”

“We’re gonna be all hyped up on sugar by the time we leave for the airport,” Stone said as he swung his legs off the mattress. Unlike her and Owl, he slept in nothing but boxers. Other than admiring his obviously toned physique, Lara felt no physical attraction for the man.

“If your hands aren’t steady, I’ll fly,” Owl called out, teasing his friend once more.

Stone lifted a hand with his middle finger up but didn’t turn around as he walked into the bathroom.

As soon as the door shut, Owl sat on the bed next to Lara. She raised a hand and gently touched the dark mark on his cheek. “Does it hurt?” she asked quietly.

“No. Thank you.”

“For what?” she asked, her brows furrowing.

“For not freaking out. For saying all the right things. For going with the flow.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked, genuinely confused.

“Most people wouldn’t be as understanding. He could’ve really hurt you,” Owl said.

“Well, that’s their problem, not Stone’s. And he wouldn’t have hurt me. Not with you here.”

“Damn straight. I love you, Lara. So much.”

“I love you too. And I love your friends…but not in the same way, of course. Anyway, being at The Refuge has taught me that bad things happen to good people all the time. It’s how we react to those things that define us. And I don’t want to be scared for the rest of my life.”

“If we were alone—” Owl started, but Stone chose that moment to return to the room.

“But you aren’t,” he said with a laugh. “So stop noodling with your woman and let her order our food, if she hasn’t already.”

“Noodling? What the hell is that?” Owl grumbled as he sat back and gave Lara some room.

“Actually, it’s where you stick your bare hand into a catfish hole and hope it clamps its mouth around it. Then the fisherman, or woman, grabs their gills and pulls it up. But in this case, it seemed to fit for the two of you…kind of a cross between cuddling and nuzzling.”

“You’re so weird,” Owl said with a shake of his head.

But Lara couldn’t stop smiling. It seemed as if Stone had shaken off the effects of the nightmare he’d had, and she couldn’t be happier to see him and Owl joking with each other once more.

“Hush, you two, and let me call room service. The last thing we want is someone overhearing your weirdo conversations and calling the police,” Lara joked as she reached for the phone.

Owl kept his hand on her shin as she made the call and, within twenty minutes, the three of them were sitting on Stone’s bed with a spread of junk food in front of them while Die Hard 2 played on TV.

It wasn’t exactly the end of the day she’d envisioned, but feeling as if maybe, just maybe, she’d been able to help Stone rather than be on the receiving end of everyone’s concern felt amazing. It gave her confidence that hopefully in the not-too-distant future, she’d be back on her feet and the horrible anxiety that always seemed to be lurking beneath the surface would slowly dissipate.