Chapter 13

CHAPTERTHIRTEEN

“What the hell?” Owl muttered as he stared at Lara’s back. He took a step to go after her when he felt a tug on his shirt. Turning, he saw Cora standing next to him, looking concerned.

“I messed up,” she admitted. “I didn’t know you hadn’t talked to her. I spilled the beans about the chopper, and I asked how she felt about leaving The Refuge. I didn’t realize you hadn’t told her about the trip or asked her to go with you yet.”

Owl’s stomach churned.

“You haven’t told her about the trip?” Tiny asked.

“We found the chopper the day all the families arrived. She’s been busy and tired. Every night, she came home and collapsed. I didn’t want to burden her with that on top of everything she’s been doing for The Refuge,” Owl said a little defensively.

“I get that,” Pipe said, putting an arm around his wife. “Cora’s been like a zombie every night. Mumbling about crayons and crafts before falling asleep two-point-one seconds after she sits down to watch TV.”

“It’s been a while since we’ve done the kid thing,” Cora said. “And back in DC, we were only there during the day. We didn’t have to entertain them through dinner or do any of the fun stuff we did here in the evenings.”

“I need to talk to her,” Owl said, pressing his lips together.

“Give her a moment to think,” Cora told him.

But Owl shook his head. “No, she’ll overthink things.”

“Maybe it’s not a good idea after all,” Brick suggested. “She can stay here with us. We’ll watch over her. Make sure she’s good.”

Owl had no doubt that his friends would take good care of his woman. But something deep down rebelled at the thought of leaving her. She might have been the one who was scared to let him out of her sight, but now he was the one who didn’t want to leave her. He’d gotten very used to having her with him nearly all the time. Loved the talks they’d had. Enjoyed looking over and seeing her sitting on his couch.

He was completely addicted to Lara Osler, and the thought of spending a week away from her made his skin crawl.

“I appreciate that,” he told his friends, “But she needs this. Needs to get out. See that the world isn’t out to get her.”

“What if something happens?” Tiny asked.

“Then we’ll deal with it,” Owl said firmly. In the back of his mind, he was as worried as he assumed Lara was about her past coming back to haunt her. But another part of him kind of wished Carter Grant would make a move. He’d rather die than do anything that would hurt Lara, but this not knowing sucked. The knowledge that the serial killer was out there somewhere…it would eventually tear Lara down. So if the asshole was going to try anything, Owl wanted him to do it sooner rather than later. He’d make a mistake, the FBI would catch him, and they could move on with their lives once and for all.

Lara was doing amazing. She still had her setbacks, and with Grant out there, she could never fully relax…and everyone knew it. This trip to Seattle would be the first step in her taking back her independence. Proving that while she might have been through a horrible experience, she wasn’t a victim.

Owl just had to convince her that he wasn’t an insensitive jerk for not telling her about the possible trip before now. For obviously discussing Lara behind her back with his friends, however innocent, and for not giving her more than a week to think about the possibility of venturing off the property.

“Let us know if you need anything,” Brick said.

“Owl?” Cora said before he could leave.

Trying not to be annoyed and just wanting to get to Lara, Owl turned to her.

“Don’t let her push you away. You’re her Jack.”

He had no idea what the hell that meant, but he simply nodded and said, “I won’t.” Then he turned before anyone else decided they wanted to have a chat and strode toward the door. He needed to make this right and wasn’t sure how. He hated the hurt and confusion he’d seen on Lara’s face before she’d left. He’d fucked up, and somehow, someway, he needed to fix things.

* * *

Lara took a deep breath once the door to the cabin shut behind her. The walk through the wooded path seemed longer and scarier for some reason. It wasn’t quite dark out yet, but it was overcast, and that made everything a little more eerie.

She went into the guest room, needing a neutral room to process everything she was feeling.

What hurt the most about what she’d learned from Cora was that it was Owl who’d kept things from her. Lara’s head pounded with a headache…and her chest hurt from heartache. Maybe he had a good explanation, but she couldn’t think of what that might be. He’d had plenty of time to tell her they’d found a chopper, and more importantly, about the possibility of her going with him and Stone to check it out.

She curled into a fetal position on the bed and stared blankly out into the dim room. Did he not want her to go? Was that why he hadn’t brought it up? That hurt, but honestly, she wouldn’t blame him. What did she know about helicopters? Nothing. And if she had a panic attack, he’d have to deal with that rather than the chopper. The last thing she wanted was to be a burden on anyone.

And she’d been more than a burden on Owl for quite a while. Hell, for months he wasn’t able to do any-damn-thing without her freaking out if she lost sight of him. She’d come a long way from the woman she’d been right after she’d been rescued, but neither of them knew how she’d react out in the real world. Here on The Refuge, she felt safe. But the second she stepped foot off the property, she was fair game. And she had a feeling everyone knew it too.

The sound of the front door opening and closing had Lara tensing. But Owl’s deep voice immediately made her relax.

“It’s me!” he called out as he always did when he came home.

Home.

This cabin was home for Lara now. It was her safe place. Her own personal refuge. And the last week and a half had been heaven. Yes, she’d been tired from working with the kids all day, but coming home to Owl was a dream come true. And now she questioned everything about that. She’d been duped before, and while she didn’t think Owl was anywhere in the same league as Ridge, she couldn’t help but wonder if, once again, she’d let her overly romantic hopes and dreams overpower her common sense.

She wasn’t really surprised when Owl appeared in the bedroom doorway a moment later. He didn’t walk over to where she lay on the bed, which she appreciated.

He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms.

“I’m sorry.”

Lara blinked in surprise. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but from past experience, she kind of thought he’d lead off with some sort of defensive explanation for not telling her about the helicopter or the trip. She wasn’t surprised that Cora had told him she’d spilled the beans.

She didn’t respond to his apology.

“When you first got here, you slept like that,” he said quietly.

Confused, Lara didn’t lift her head, but she couldn’t deny that he had her attention.

“Curled in a little ball. Protecting yourself from the world. And the fact that you’re doing that again…it kills me. Because I did that. I made you feel as if you had to protect yourself from me.” The agony in his voice almost made Lara sit up and open her arms to him. But she stayed where she was. Watching. Waiting.

Owl shifted just inside the room with his back to the wall, then he slowly slid down so he was sitting. He lifted his knees and rested his arms on them as he continued to stare at her.

“All those months ago, when you first got here, people were surprised at how unfazed I was when you refused to let me out of your sight. My friends offered to relieve me all the time. Cora begged me to take a break and let her stay with you. But I refused. You want to know why?”

Lara tried to tamp down her curiosity. But she couldn’t. She gave him a small nod.

“Because I needed you as much as you needed me. You ever watched any of those military shows on TV?”

She frowned. It seemed like an abrupt change in topic, but she gave him another small nod.

“Yeah, the Navy SEALs shows are awesome. They’re alpha, protective, brave, and as badass as it gets. Every woman’s ideal when it comes to what they want in a partner. The firefighter shows? They’re the same. Those men run into burning buildings when everyone else is running out. In real life, they’re heroes. The ones who get the news stories, the movie deals, the books written about them.

“Then there’s me. How many times have you even looked twice at the person driving in those shows? The guy flying the helicopter that dodges RPGs, mountains, machine gun fire, and every bad guy within a ten-mile radius trying to take him down? Or the guy driving the firetruck? The person who’s flying those planes over wildfires, through the smoke and flames, to either drop retardant or the hot shot firefighters?

“Never,” he said, answering his own question.

Lara frowned, understanding where he was going…and not liking it at all.

“Stone and I weren’t SEALs. We weren’t Delta Force Operatives. We’re pilots. Damn good ones. But only pilots. We weren’t sure the Army would send anyone after us when we crashed. At least, not in as timely a manner as we needed them to. Because there are always more pilots. Eventually, yes, they did send help, but we’re pretty sure it’s because of the videos that were blasted all over the Internet. Having us in the terrorists’ clutches was bad PR for the military. So they sent in one of those badass teams to bring us home.

“Even then, we weren’t treated as heroes. We weren’t on the news or interviewed for People Magazine. Our rescuers were in high demand for interviews. For their perspective on what happened. Because of those damn videos, people were embarrassed for Stone and me. Our skinny, pale, naked asses weren’t the kind of muscular physiques that made for good entertainment. We faded into the background. We were merely a footnote in the War on Terror. Invisible, which in some ways was what we needed…but it stung too.

“But you, Lara, you saw me. To you, I wasn’t merely the pilot. I was important. Needed. And it felt good. So damn good. I didn’t mind that you needed me near. It was wrong of me, I know that, but for so long, I craved being important to someone. So much that I didn’t fight your dependence on me.

“And when you started to recover? When you didn’t need me around all the time…I was proud. So impressed that you could find your way out of your panic and fear. And I have to admit that I liked how our relationship was changing. You no longer needed a crutch, but you still seemed to enjoy being with me. Talking. Cooking. Doing normal things.

“I didn’t tell you about the trip to buy the helicopter, not because I wanted to keep it from you, but simply because flying is no longer the most important thing in my life, Lara. You are.

“I think I loved you from the moment we left that hospital in Arizona. You were so scared, so traumatized, and yet you still did your best to reassure your parents that you were okay…when you were anything but. You reassured Cora, tried to make her feel better about you being kidnapped. From that moment, I fell hard and fast. Anyone who could be as kind as you, to think about others even while trying to deal with such a horrific ordeal, was someone I wanted to be around. Someone I wanted to have in my life forever.

“I’m excited about having a chopper here at The Refuge, but that excitement is eclipsed by you, Lara. I wasn’t thinking about horsepower or fuel capacity when you walked into this cabin every night; all I wanted to know was how your day went. Hearing the stories about the kids you and Cora entertained, how much you were enjoying contributing. That was my focus. Then we’d wake up in the morning, and I’d be so overwhelmed and grateful that I’d slept through the night again…the helicopter was the last thing I thought about.”

Lara’s head was spinning. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard Owl say so much at one time before. She was transfixed by everything he was sharing. He didn’t talk a lot about his time as a POW, or what he endured after he was home…but hearing his thoughts now, about what others did or didn’t think of his profession, was heartbreaking. And worse—he wasn’t wrong.

Those movies he talked about? They didn’t focus on the daring pilots of those choppers at all. They showed the helicopters flying in and out of mountain ranges, picking up the special forces soldiers, dropping them off amongst heavy gunfire, but not once could Lara remember any focus being on the pilots.

“And in the last few days, you’ve also been exhausted. And happy. I got a glimpse of the person your kids out in DC got to see every day. Your inner light shone so bright, it almost blinded me. I didn’t want to dim that for even a second by making you stress about a potential trip off The Refuge.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I should’ve found a way to tell you about the helicopter. Tex found a Bell 505. It’s almost new and the price is unbeatable. Brick’s been emailing back and forth with the seller and our accountant to make a potential deal. Now, he’s made an appointment next week for Stone and me to check it out before any purchase. A couple weeks ago, when The Refuge owning a helicopter was more a discussion than a done deal, Brick suggested that maybe you could come with us to take a look at it. It was before you were doing as well as you are now. But even then, I wanted you to come with me, simply because I didn’t like the thought of not being around you for any length of time.

“I’ve gotten used to you, sweetheart. The way you hum under your breath when you’re cooking. The mess you can’t seem to help leaving in the bathroom when you’re getting ready for the day. The way you feel in my arms at night. The sounds you make when I’m deep inside you. I love you, Lara. And I hate myself for the hurt and uncertainty you’re feeling. That you’re in a fetal position because I made you doubt my love for you.”

The silence in the room when he stopped speaking was heavy.

But surprisingly, Lara felt…light.

“I’m not really hurt because you didn’t tell me about the helicopter itself. I’m upset because I thought maybe you decided you didn’t want me to go, or didn’t think I could handle it…and that’s why you didn’t bring it up. And also because it’s something I know you were probably thrilled about, and you didn’t let me share in that excitement.

“I want to share in the things you love too, Owl. Too much has been about me so far, and I’m tired of it. I want to share my joy over Henley and Reese’s pregnancies. I want to celebrate birthdays. I’m sick of everyone tiptoeing around me. I’m not great, but I’m getting much better. Henley has helped me see that life is about how you react to experiences. And I don’t want to be Carter Grant’s victim. I want to laugh. Make love. Tease my friends and be involved in their lives. And I can’t be involved if everyone is second-guessing what they say in front of me because they’re scared I’m going to have a panic attack.”

Owl nodded. “You’re right. I promise not to keep anything from you from this moment on. If I’m happy, I’ll share with you. If I’m angry, I’ll let you commiserate and talk me off the ledge. If I’m scared, I’ll let you comfort me. I fucked up, Lara. I know it, and I’m sorry. Please don’t let this break us up.”

Just the thought of leaving this man made Lara’s chest hurt. She slowly sat up. “Come here?” she asked tentatively.

Owl shot to his feet and was at the side of the bed in a heartbeat. She scooted over, giving him room, and he lowered himself to the bed beside her. They were face-to-face, and he smoothed a hand over her hair and stared into her eyes.

“Forgive me?”

“I think I’d forgive you anything,” Lara told him as she wrapped an arm around his waist. The other lay flat against his chest between them.

“Thank God,” he breathed as he shut his eyes.

It was clear to Lara that Owl had been just as stressed out as she’d been. He hadn’t been in a fetal position, but he’d been just as upset about the tension between them.

“For the record, I do see you, Callen Kaufman. And I see an amazing man. Unselfish, giving, and willing to do whatever it takes to make others happy. I also see a sexy, gorgeous man who makes me feel things I’ve never felt in my life.”

“Safe?” he asked.

“That too,” she reassured him. “But I’m not in love with you because you make me feel safe. Because you protect me.”

He lifted an eyebrow, and Lara couldn’t help but think he was kind of cute when he needed reassurance like this.

“I fell in love with you because you never saw me as broken, even when I was.”

“You were never broken, sweetheart. Dented, maybe. But not broken.”

Yeah, she definitely loved this man. “And the answer is yes, by the way.”

He frowned in confusion.

“I’ll go with you and Stone to Seattle.”

His eyes lit up with excitement. “Yeah?”

“Uh-huh. How can I pass up the chance to see you behind the wheel…wait…it’s not a wheel, is it? The controls?”

Owl chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Pass up the chance to see you behind the controls of a real live helicopter? I mean, the simulator is great, but I’m thinking it’s much different in the real thing.”

“It is and it’s not. Stone and I bought the best simulator out there. The foot pedals feel a little different in the real thing, and you can’t feel the wind buffeting the chopper in the sim, but the controls are pretty accurate.”

Lara smiled at him.

He grimaced. “Sorry. I’m a little excited. And I’ve already talked to Brick about security for you during the trip. We’re staying in a place Tex recommended, and we’re not going to dally. We’re going to go up there, check this chopper out, and come home. And we won’t file our flight plan until the last possible minute so if anyone is out there watching, they won’t be able to track us. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. No way in hell.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Lara nodded.

“You hungry?” he asked.

At the mention of food, Lara’s belly growled. Loudly.

Owl laughed. He leaned in and kissed her, letting his lips rest on hers for a long moment. Then he pulled back. “I have one more question. Who the hell is Jack?”

Lara giggled.

“Seriously, Cora told me I was your Jack, but I don’t know what that means.”

“It means you’re mine,” she said with a small smile.

“Damn straight,” he said before swinging his legs off the mattress and holding out a hand to her.

Lara took it, and she felt a tingle inside when he didn’t drop it as he started for the door.

She was happy…but in the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but think about what Sandra Bullock had said in the movie. The line about relationships starting under extreme circumstances not working out.

She hoped she was wrong. Because if she lost Owl, she’d never recover. She instinctively knew he was her one and only chance at a deep, true, forever kind of love, and she was going to do everything in her power to hold onto it, him, for all she was worth.

* * *

Carter Grant couldn’t stop grinning.

It was nearly time!

Everything was in place.

In less than a week, he’d have his property back where she belonged. And this time, he’d make sure she couldn’t escape.

He’d planned as many of the details as possible. He didn’t know exactly when she and the assholes from The Refuge would arrive in Seattle, or on which flight, but it didn’t matter. He’d briefed his accomplice thoroughly, and the man would deliver Lara to his new lair. It was remote, and even if she did manage to escape the room he’d prepared…she wouldn’t be able to get off the island.

It was going to take almost all the money he’d saved up—okay, stolen from the Michaels family—to secure the house and pay off his accomplice, but it would be worth it. He’d gotten a new identity and changed his appearance. Despite the eye patch he wore, no one would immediately suspect he was a notorious serial killer being hunted by the FBI. His blond buzz cut had grown out in the last few months and was now dyed almost black. A colored contact hid his hazel eye.

He was also smarter than all his enemies. He’d live out the rest of his life on the island he’d bought, with his special toy.

Thinking about Lara being at his mercy once more made his cock harden. He ignored it. He had more important things to do, and he wanted to save himself for what was to come.

Chuckling at the play on words, Carter relaxed into his chair as he ran over the plans for the next week in his head once more. Lara and the two assholes would arrive in Seattle and spend the night. Then they were scheduled to meet with his accomplice, who was posing as the helicopter’s owner. He’d allow the trio to take the chopper up for a test flight, they’d complete the financial details…

And after getting his money, the accomplice would kill the two assholes and fly Lara straight to the island.

Then the fun would start.

Carter could hardly wait.