Chapter 10

CHAPTERTEN

It was frustrating not to be leaving immediately for Phoenix, but Cora understood the men’s need to get as much information as possible before heading into what she thought of in her mind as a battle. They might not think Lara was in danger, or that Ridge Michaels was holding her against her will, but she knew differently. She just hoped they were ready for whatever waited for them behind the doors of the jail where Lara was being held. It might be a fancy estate with a dozen paid employees waiting on Ridge hand and foot, but it was still a prison.

In the meantime, she was excited to get to see the place she’d read about and researched so extensively. Meeting Melba earlier had been a highlight. And the goats were just as hysterical as many guests said they were. After meeting them, they’d immediately started trying to chew on her pants.

Tonka’s dogs, Wally and Beauty, were well-mannered, if not spoiled rotten. It was amusing to see big bad Tonka carrying Beauty around as if she was a little princess…which she kind of was. The barn cats were friendly, and she’d even gotten to meet Mutt…Brick’s three-legged dog.

But it was Chuck who delighted her the most. The squirrel was missing two feet, and he lived with his squirrel girlfriend in a little condo Tonka had built against a tree behind the barn. To her surprise, after she’d sat down with a handful of peanuts, the little guy had come right up and sat in front of her as he chowed down.

“He likes you,” Pipe said quietly from her right. He hadn’t said much while she’d met The Refuge’s other animals. Now, he sat beside her and simply watched as she remained entranced by the little guy.

“I tend to get along better with animals than people,” Cora told him, as Chuck nudged her hand for more peanuts. It was adorable how he’d stuff one into his mouth, then take one into the little wooden hut Tonka had made him. Cora mused that it was kind of sad this little squirrel took better care of his mate than anyone had ever taken care of her.

“It’s because they know you’re not going to hurt them.”

“They can’t know that,” she protested, looking over at him.

Pipe was sitting with his feet flat on the ground, his arms looped around his updrawn knees, and instead of looking at Chuck, he was staring at her.

Feeling self-conscious, Cora turned back to the squirrel.

“They can sense it,” Pipe told her.

They were quiet for a few seconds, before Cora blurted, “Your friends don’t really believe me.”

She winced at the blunt statement. Even if it was true, she probably shouldn’t have brought it up.

Pipe simply shrugged. “This is unfamiliar territory for us. I mean, when Alaska was in trouble, Jasna and Reese too, it was a no-brainer that we’d do whatever it took to help them. No one messes with our loved ones. But we don’t know Lara. It’s harder to get a read on a situation when you’re dealing with strangers.”

Cora nodded. She understood that. Completely. And she respected Pipe all the more for being honest with her.

“And things could get weird really quickly if we rush in to help your friend…and it turns out she doesn’t need helping.”

“She does,” Cora couldn’t help but say as she turned to look at him once more.

Pipe’s lips twitched.

“Look, I know this situation is messed up. You and your friends are trusting me when I say that she’s not there of her own free will. You don’t know me, you don’t know Lara, and like you said, you’re risking a lot to go to Arizona with me. Your reputations, at the very best, are at risk, and getting hurt in the process at worst.”

Pipe snorted, and Cora couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her lips at the disgruntled sound.

“No one’s getting hurt,” he told her.

“You can’t know that,” she said with a shrug.

Pipe’s gaze bore into hers with an intensity that she thought was a little out of place for the situation. “No one’s getting hurt,” he insisted. “You stalked us. Did you miss the parts where it listed all our accomplishments and the medals we’ve earned?”

Cora frowned. “You’ve earned medals?” she asked.

Pipe chuckled. “Can’t tell you. That shit’s top secret. All I’m sayin’ is that when you set your sights on me and my friends, you chose well. It’s not going to be hard for us to figure out if Lara is there of her own free will or not.”

“Really?” Cora asked.

“Really,” Pipe said confidently.

“He’s not going to be happy,” she told him.

“Nope.”

Cora turned her attention back to Chuck, who’d stuffed four peanuts into his mouth and was desperately trying to add a fifth. “I don’t know what I expected when I went to that auction, but it wasn’t this.”

“This?” Pipe asked.

“Sitting here at The Refuge, feeding Chuck, and feeling so damn grateful that you were willing to listen to me that I can’t even put it into words.”

“I want to say something, but I’m not sure if I should or not,” Pipe said.

Cora looked over at him. His gaze was still locked on her. “Please do.”

He licked his lips, and Cora’s attention was distracted for a moment. He really was a good-looking man. She’d never been with a guy with a beard as full as Pipe’s, but she had a sudden longing to know what it felt like to kiss him. To feel that beard on her face. She’d been impressed with all the things she’d read about him, but to meet him in person? To see for herself that he was polite, protective, attentive, and committed to helping her, a stranger, her esteem for him had only gone up.

“I don’t want your gratitude,” Pipe said.

Cora blinked. “You don’t?” she asked.

“When I stood in that ballroom and listened to that bitch say those horrible things to you, I wasn’t happy. I decided to walk you home to assuage my guilt for somehow letting her win the auction, instead of you. Which I know makes absolutely no sense. I had no control over that. But I still felt bad. And somehow, between the short time when we left the auction and reached that diner, my feelings about walking you home had changed.”

Cora held her breath as she stared at Pipe.

“You’re the most down-to-earth and open woman I’ve ever met. You didn’t blink at my physical appearance. And don’t think I missed the way you stepped closer to me when we entered that diner back in DC, as if you were trying to protect me from the suspicious looks the hostess was giving me. You respond to me like no other woman has, in fact. Others either flirt with me because they think I’m a bad boy and they want a walk on the wild side, or they cringe away and cross the street so they don’t have to pass me on the sidewalk.”

“I’ve learned over the years that someone’s outward appearance means nothing when it comes to what kind of person they are. Look at Eleanor. She’s gorgeous. She could be a model, and probably has modeled before. She’s close to what society deems to be the ideal image of beauty. But she’s rotten to the core. All she cares about is herself, and she’ll walk on whoever it takes to get attention and to be in the limelight.”

“I agree. And you are so far from that, it’s not even funny.”

Cora winced.

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way. And if you think I’m saying you aren’t pretty, you’re wrong.”

Cora couldn’t help it. She laughed.

“I’m serious,” Pipe insisted.

“Pipe, I’m short and dumpy. I have boring brown hair and equally boring brown eyes. There’s nothing remarkable about me.”

“You’re wrong. Anyone who takes the time to look twice at you would see the same thing I have. You have an inner light that’s so damn bright, it burns. You’ve got walls, tall ones, but I’ve seen what happens when someone gets beyond them. People like Lara. You’d do anything for her. That kind of love and devotion is something people rarely experience. Your friend is damn lucky to have you, Cora. And in my eyes, that doesn’t just make you pretty, it makes you fucking beautiful.”

To her surprise, tears welled up in her eyes. Damn, she wasn’t usually this quick to cry, but more than once since meeting Pipe, it had felt like she was two seconds away from bawling. She blinked, trying to clear the wetness, and looked away from Pipe’s piercing gaze.

“Too much?” he asked.

She heard the humor in his voice. Cora nodded.

“I’ll stop then. You sure about staying with me tonight? I can get you a hotel in Los Alamos if you aren’t comfortable staying with anyone here.”

Cora stared at him incredulously. “And give up a chance to stay at The Refuge? No way!”

Pipe chuckled. “Right.”

“You might not want my gratitude,” Cora said. “But you’ve got it anyway. I’ve had to work my ass off for everything good I’ve ever had in my life, and for some reason, you didn’t make me work for your help. I don’t really understand why, but I’m so thankful you’re helping me find Lara.”

“If you could have anything in the entire world…money being no object…what would it be?” Pipe asked.

Frowning, not sure what his question had to do with her thanking him, but willing to go along with his change of subject, Cora thought about it for a moment. Then said softly, “A family.”

Pipe made a noise in the back of his throat, encouraging her to continue.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted. As a kid, I thought if I was prettier, cuter, nicer, quieter, more outgoing, less outgoing, neater…you name the adjective, I tried to be it, thinking maybe it would get me adopted. It never worked. Family after family returned me to the state. No one wanted to keep me, and I never understood why. The more I was rejected, the more I tried…for a long while. Until I eventually stopped trying altogether.

“When I aged out of the system, I began trying to find a guy who would give me what I wanted…and that was an even bigger epic fail. Again, I’m not sure why. I guess I’m too…me. Not into using clothes and makeup to appear as something I’m not. Not willing to lie to stroke a man’s ego. Too outspoken, too brash.

“So, what do I want? A family of my own. Kids I can love, who will never go even one day without knowing that they’re the most important thing in my life. I want to have a biological kid, if possible, which is becoming more and more of a crapshoot because of my age, but I also definitely want to adopt. Maybe find an older kid who’s been returned again and again, and give him or her a forever home.”

“I’m not judging…but is there a reason you haven’t adopted already?” Pipe asked.

Cora snorted. “I’ve had a hard enough time taking care of myself. I ended up on Lara’s couch too many times to count. If I had a kid with me? That would’ve been awful. Besides…do you know how hard it is to adopt in this country?”

“No.”

Cora turned to look at Pipe to see if he was messing with her, but when she saw the expression on his face, she realized he was completely serious.

“Incredibly hard,” she answered. “Adopting an infant would be completely out of the question for me. Too expensive, and as a single woman with a low income, I wouldn’t get chosen anyway. It’s a little easier to adopt an older kid, but even still, it takes a lot of money, and I’m still on the bottom of the list of people who the state would want to give a child to.” She sighed.

A minute or two went by before Pipe spoke again. “That’s it? If money was no object, that’s what you’d pick? A family? Not a mansion, a yacht, a million dollars in the bank?”

Cora shook her head. “That stuff doesn’t last. But if I could give a child a home? Let them know every day that they’re loved, safe, and free to be who they are, no matter what? That’s what I want.”

In response, Pipe reached out and took her free hand, the one that wasn’t holding peanuts for Chuck.

Surprisingly, Cora felt fairly calm. Talking about her lack of a family, her lack of anyone in her life other than Lara, usually depressed her. Made her sink into a pit of despair that was hard to shake. But somehow, talking with Pipe, feeling as if he was truly listening, didn’t send her spiraling downward. The Refuge truly was a magical place.

“What about you?” Cora asked after a minute of silence. “What would you want if money was no object?”

When he didn’t answer right away, Cora wondered if she’d overstepped. They weren’t really friends…were they? And maybe he wasn’t comfortable answering his own question.

Just when she thought maybe she should take him up on his offer to stay in town, he spoke.

“My dad was in the British Armed Forces. He was deployed a lot…by his own choice. My mum was loving, but she didn’t deal well with my father being gone. She kind of fell apart, actually. I learned as a young lad that if I wanted to eat while my dad was away, that I’d need to make supper myself. I did our laundry, cleaned the house, took care of the garden, even went shopping. When Dad returned, Mum went back to normal, pretending she hadn’t been leaning on her ten-year-old son to keep the household running.

“She loved me, as did my dad, but I didn’t feel as if I could have friends round to the house, because I wasn’t sure what kind of mood Mum would be in. I joined the service as soon as I could and never looked back.”

“Do you talk to your parents?” Cora asked gently.

“Of course. On holidays and their birthdays,” Pipe said.

“How’d you meet Brick and the others?” Cora asked.

“You know the guy who’s finding out information on Michaels?”

“Yeah. Tex, right?”

“Right. He connected us. I’d gotten to know him after a mission went completely sideways. He was helping a team of Navy SEALs, and he took my unit under his wing until we were able to get out of the country. We kept in touch and when I decided to get out…he introduced me to Brick. The rest is history.”

“I want to ask something, but I don’t know if I’ll offend you or not,” Cora admitted.

“You want to know why I left,” Pipe said.

Cora squeezed his hand. “Yeah, but if you don’t want to talk about it I understand.”

“It’s not something I usually share, but for some reason, I feel comfortable talking to you about it.”

Cora’s heart flipped in her chest. She wasn’t usually the kind of woman who people confided in. Maybe because she never let anyone get close, or they didn’t want to get close. But she found that she really wanted to get to know Pipe better.

“My team and I were ambushed on what should’ve been a routine intel-gathering mission. There were six of us. We were picked off one by one. When I called for backup, I was told that because of the sensitive balance of the relationship between the locals and the Armed Forces, they couldn’t intervene. I watched my team members being slaughtered in front of my eyes. My own country threw them away like trash, because of politics.”

Cora inhaled deeply and turned so she was facing Pipe. He was staring into the distance, eyes unseeing. She held his hand even tighter.

“I was shot, and I must’ve passed out. When I came to, the locals were stripping me and my teammates of all our gear. I pretended to be dead, knowing if they discovered I was still alive it wouldn’t go well for me. They took all our gear and clothes, except for our underwear, and left us in the rubble of the rundown building where we’d taken refuge.

“I waited until darkness fell, then I crawled out of there, aware that any second I could be discovered and finished off with a bullet to my brain. By some bloody miracle, I made it to the outskirts of the town and into the forest. I crawled, stumbled, and walked back to our base, which was over five kilometers away. When I told my superior office what happened, he clapped me on the back, said he was sorry for the loss of my men, then reminded me that my missions were top secret. Basically, he was warning me that if I told anyone what happened, my career was over.

“But what he didn’t understand was that it was already over. I was done. How could I go back to being the man I was before? A man who’d believed that those he worked for had his best interests in mind? They left me and my men to die and didn’t think twice about it. And for what? Because the town was between our temporary base and the airfield we used to bring in supplies.”

“I’m so sorry,” Cora said, at a loss for anything else to say.

“I was up for reenlistment that year and declined. I had a hard time acclimating to civilian life,” Pipe admitted. “I started getting tattoos shortly after. The pain of the needle seemed to be the only thing that turned off the noise in my head. If Tex hadn’t hooked me up with Brick and the others, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me.”

Cora shifted and rested her head on Pipe’s shoulder. With no idea what to say, she decided to support him nonverbally instead.

“Intellectually, I know it wasn’t my country’s fault…what happened to my teammates. It was a decision made by one man, or maybe a group of them. What they did that day doesn’t reflect on an entire country. But I can’t help but feel as if England deserted me. I was happy to move to the States. Don’t get me wrong, there are just as many or more issues with the United States government, but still…being here in New Mexico lets me breathe. I haven’t felt the urge to get more ink since relocating.

“You asked me what I would want if money was no object, and to finally answer your question…nothing. I’ve got everything I could ask for. A group of friends I know without a shred of a doubt will have my back if things go to shit. A cabin in the woods where I wake up every morning and breathe the clean air. A purpose in helping others deal with the demons in their head. I’d be selfish to ask for anything more.”

Cora lifted her head, and he turned to meet her gaze. “You don’t want a family?”

Pipe shrugged. “I feel as if that would be asking for too much. Tipping the scales into the greedy category.”

Cora smiled at him. “I don’t think that’s how the world works.”

“Don’t want to chance it. But I’ll tell you this, if I ever found a woman who loved me exactly as I am—slightly damaged, scary as hell to little kids and old women—and who could live out here in the middle of nowhere without blinking? I’d bend over backward to give her whatever she wanted. Jewelry, designer clothes, kids. It wouldn’t matter. I’d give her everything.”

“And if all she wanted was someone to love her without strings and with no reservations?” Cora whispered.

“Any woman of mine would know down to her soul that I’d die for her,” Pipe said simply.

Goose bumps rose on Cora’s arms. They were having a philosophical and hypothetical conversation…weren’t they? Somehow, it felt like more.

It was almost scary how in tune with Pipe she felt. They were two people from opposite ends of the world. Raised completely differently, with contrasting experiences…and yet, she’d never felt as close to anyone as she did Pipe right that moment. Even Lara.

“I think she’d rather you lived for her,” Cora whispered.

“Yeah,” Pipe said before taking a deep breath. “You want to continue the tour?”

“Sure,” she said. She was looking forward to seeing the rest of The Refuge, but mostly she wanted to spend more time with Pipe.

He stood while still holding her hand, helping her to her feet. Then he moved his hand to the small of her back as he led her back through the barn. He did that a lot, and while Cora had never liked when people she didn’t know touched her, she found that she actually felt safer when Pipe had his hand on her.

She peeked up at him while they were walking and noticed how alert he was. His eyes constantly scanned his surroundings, as if he expected someone to jump out from around a bale of hay or something. But now that he’d opened up, and told her about why he’d left the military, she understood a little better.

And instead of making her feel wary that he was a little bit paranoid, it felt…reassuring. She remembered how he’d done the same thing in DC, his head constantly on a swivel, looking for trouble. It was something she did all the time herself, but it felt good to have him on alert as well. With him on guard, Cora felt as if she could let down the shield she always had up. With Pipe near, nothing and no one would hurt her. She had no doubt about that.

“Come on, I’ll show you the guest cabins, where our owner cabins are, and if you’re up to it, maybe take you on a little hike.”

“Ooooh, will you show me Table Rock?”

Pipe chuckled as he looked down at her. “Stalker,” he teased.

Cora grinned. “Yup,” she retorted. She’d seen the beautiful pictures former guests had posted of the sites around the property, always tagging The Refuge. And she couldn’t wait to see Table Rock for herself.

A small part of her still felt guilty that she was enjoying herself while Lara was enduring whatever she was going through, but the time would come soon enough to rescue her friend. In the meantime, Cora was going to soak up every bit of good karma this place could offer.