Chapter 11

Chapter

Eleven

I run a hand down over my black dress to smooth non-existent wrinkles. It's been two weeks since Renzo died and I took over heading up the family. I stare at my face in the mirror. The fine lines around my mouth and my dark eyes weren't there six months ago. Hell, I'm not sure they were there before my wedding. Was it only three weeks ago? I study my hair. It's still glossy and black as it curls around my shoulders, but I wouldn't be shocked to find gray strands poking through. I am exhausted. I'm also losing weight. I need to eat more but who has time? I rub the worry line between my eyebrows as if I can make it go away. I swear it's etched in there now.

"Mia, you ready?" Angelo asks through the door.

I sigh. "Give me a minute."

"Okay," he says, and I hear his footsteps recede down the hallway. Angelo is getting too familiar. His boss has only been gone for a short time and he's already acting like he's my new guardian. He should wait downstairs and not say a word. Instead, he's up here pushing me. I don't like it.

I reach for the champagne glass which sits on the bathroom counter. I swallow a mouthful. It's the good stuff, Dom Perignon and it seems to take me a lot more than one glass to get me drunk these days. So much has happened since the wedding, and none of it good. I still haven't fucking got laid. My asshole of a husband died before we could have sex. I'm still a goddamn virgin. It's so un-fucking-fair. My box of sex toys is in the drawer beside my bed, ready and waiting if only I had a husband to try them on.

I didn't think I would miss Renzo. I thought I would be overjoyed to be on my own. And I am in one way, but I also miss him. He made me feel…that's the reality of it. He made me feel so many damn things. I've been living like a statue. Cold as marble. Not daring to feel or think too much for fear I'd upset the delicate balance of things. Now I just don't give a fuck. Someone killed my husband and shot me. I wince as I touch my side. The fuck if I'm just going to sit here and take it. I want to know who's behind it and then I'm going to rip his balls off. That's a promise, I tell myself.

My phone buzzes with a text. I don't have to look. I know it's Angelo. He hates being late. I, on the other hand, just don't give a shit anymore. "Mia?" Angelo's voice comes through the door again. "You can't be late for your own husband's funeral."

"Actually, I can. They won't start without me." I grit my teeth. "I'll be down in a minute." Angelo is becoming something of a problem. Since the night we all got shot, he's been by my side guiding me on how to do things and offering me support when I needed it. He's helped me set some things in motion that should secure my place at the head of the family. But now, he wants more. I can tell by the way he looks at me, he wants to fuck me. He wants to be the man in my bed, not just the man in my office. He wants it all. Well, boo-fucking-hoo. The chance of him getting horizontal with me is non-existent. He's not getting it. No one is because if I've learned one thing in the last two weeks, it's that the moment I show weakness, someone will come to take what I have. I'm not willing to let that happen again. Not ever.

I down the rest of my champagne and head for the door to my bedroom. I should have taken time to eat but I wanted to be on my own, and if I ate then Angelo would eat with me. We'll all come back here after the funeral, and I can't drink then either. All eyes will be on me.

"Albert," I call as I go down the stairs, "can you make sure to send my mother flowers on Monday? It's her birthday." God forbid I forget that even though my husband was just killed.

"Of course, Signora. Do you wish to fill out the card personally?" Albert asks. He is a godsend and I am grateful for him. He's been better at advising me than Angelo.

"No, it's fine. Just tell her happy birthday." I have no interest in speaking to her. She'll just start on the long list of things she thinks I should be doing and how she should be the one to do certain things because, after all, she is the mother and wife of the two top members of the family. Except my father isn't at the top anymore. I am and I don't want her near me.

I hit the bottom of the stairs and Albert slides my fur coat over my shoulders. I put on a pair of massive dark sunglasses. It's fucking fall and not cold yet, but I wear the fur because it's a status symbol. Nothing says mourning mafia wife like big dark sunglasses and a fur coat.

"Thank you," I say. "Is everything ready to host everyone after…" I let my voice trail away. I don't need to finish the sentence.

"Of course, Signora." Albert gives me a slight bow and then backs away.

"Please save me a plate of food." I've learned over the last two weeks that I will not be able to eat when la famiglia is together. Too many people want to chat with me. I am the most powerful person in the room so my time is spoken for, with none spared for eating. I know the capos are just biding their time until one of them makes a move to rise to the top, but they've managed to keep me busy anyway. They're testing me; hoping I'll fail. But I'll pass with flying colors. No one is taking this from me. No. One.

Angelo displays a bit of a limp as he ushers me out the door. Whether it's for sympathy from me, or because it really pains him, I don't give a shit.

Ralf is standing at the bottom of the steps, holding open the car door. "Ciao, Ralf."

He nods to me and gives me a wink while I slide into the car. He's taken over as my driver and personal security since Paulie is still in the hospital. "How is Paulie? When is he getting out?" I ask as Angelo slides in beside me. I scoot over, putting a respectable distance between me and him. It annoys me that he thinks he needs to be this close.

Ralf walks around and gets into the driver's seat of the black stretch limo. "Paulie is doing much better. He's going home in a few days."

"Good. Let me know when," I say and then put up the glass partition. I need to do something nice for him since I'm now his boss too.

Angelo clears his throat. "The service has been all planned by your mother with limited input by Nico and Luca."

"Will they be there?" It seems a stupid question to ask but my brothers-in-law have not been around much since Renzo died. They've preferred to stay over in Venezia where their father reigns supreme. The trio was thought of as the three Princes of Venezia before Renzo moved to take over the family.

"Yes, of course. Leonardo will be at the house later." Angelo reaches out and rests a hand on my knee.

I turn to him. "Angelo." I look pointedly at his hand. "My husband is not even in the ground." This has gone way too far. I try not to sigh loudly.

His lips go into a thin line and the friendliness leaves his tone. "Mia, don't bullshit me. It wasn't a love match. You need a man as a partner and you and I make a good team. I don't see the problem."

I push his hand off my leg. "The problem is you're my consigliere. You're here to advise me, not to fuck me."

"But we could be so good together." He leans toward me as if to kiss me.

I smell the liquor on his breath. I move out of the way. "I'm not interested. If you can't control yourself then I'll have to have you moved somewhere else. "

He laughs. "You think you have power? Do you think those men are gonna listen to you, a puttana? You might have been a mafia princess before but once you married Renzo, and he died, you became his leftovers. You're gonna need me if you want to stay in charge." He twists around and puts his left hand on my thigh and tries to pin me to the back of the seat by squeezing my arm with his right while leaning in to kiss me.

"Stop it." I push against his chest. My side is hurting. "I don't want you. We're not doing this," I half-yell as I struggle to get him off me. He tries to claim my mouth, but I manage to slap him. He freezes and then his lip curls up. He slides his hand up my leg and tries to grab my pussy, but the car comes to a stop and Ralf is at the door opening it. I leave my fur in the car and slide out with Ralf's help. My small hand is shaking in his large one. I let go of his hand and smooth out my dress.

"You look fine," Ralf says. He glances into the car where Angelo is just climbing out the other side. "Do you want me to take care of him?"

My heart is still hammering against my ribcage. A huge part of me wants to say yes, kill the motherfucker. While I have come to loathe Angelo, he's not wrong. I do need him. He has everyone's ear, and his advice is usually spot on. I need that. We've accomplished a lot in the last couple of weeks. My leadership is precarious but with him, it's on more solid footing. If I replace him, I'm not sure it would be the same.

"Not now," I tell Ralf. It's not a ‘no' I realize, and now I know for sure that I'm going to give my consent at some point. Before the wedding, I would've been appalled at the thought of having someone killed. Today, that thought means it's just another Friday.

Making that decision means I need to find a replacement. As much as I dislike my mother, I will ask her for help with this issue. She will provide a list of three or four names for me to choose from. That decided, I walk up the steps into the church. The priest is there, clutching my hand and offering words of comfort. Someone escorts me to the front of the cathedral. I take a seat in the family pew next to Nico, and Luca. My mother and father sit behind me and Angelo slides in with them. The next few hours will be long and painful for me. I grit my teeth and start the countdown in my head. T-minus two hours until I can be home, safe again.

As the priest drones on, I study the frescos above the altar. Was it just three weeks ago that I walked toward those same frescoes in a wedding dress and veil, prepared to marry a man I barely knew? A man I now admitted I missed. How my life had changed and changed again in a dizzyingly blip of time.

The service finishes with the fading notes of the last hymn. As I stand, Nico takes my arm and escorts me to the back of the church. People are waiting to give me their condolences. I don't want them. I want all of this to be over. Fatigue hits me and I sway.

Nico puts his arm around me. "Are you okay?" His voice is so much like Renzo's that my knees wobble.

Stupid that I should be this upset at losing a husband I didn't want in the first place. I didn't even know him that well and yet I missed him with a longing I don't understand.

"Yes. Sorry. I'm tired. It's been…traumatic."

Nico looked at me with eyes that are so similar to Renzo's and cocked an eyebrow. "You were only married a couple of weeks," he said in between shaking hands with the people in line.

I nodded to a woman I've never seen before in my life. "True, but seeing my husband mowed down in front of me and getting shot myself is a bit more than just a typical date night." I couldn't keep the sarcasm out of my voice. "At least for me. Not sure about you and your family. Maybe it's the norm for you."

"Shot?" Nico turns toward me. "What do you mean shot?"

The line has now come to a grinding halt and everyone is staring. I quickly step out the door and start down the steps. I'm not going to have that conversation at this moment. I'd kept my being shot a secret. It was easy. Everyone was distraught over Renzo, and Angelo can make a mountain out of any molehill, so I let him tell the story. I don't think he even registered the fact that I'd been shot. If the capos think I'm weak, they'll never listen to me. Besides, it was a through and through, as they say. A mere flesh wound .

"Are you ready?" Ralf asks.

I nod. "Take me to the cemetery."

He leads me across the sidewalk to the limo and helps me in, and then gets in behind the wheel. "Should I wait for Angelo?"

"Hell no," I snarl. "I've had enough of him. Just head over to the cemetery. Everyone will show up eventually."

Ralf nods as I put up the partition. I lean my head back against the leather seats and close my eyes, trying not to remember what happened. Even though this is a different car I could swear I smell him on the leather. I think about his eyes and his hands. More specifically where they'd been when we'd been shot. It's mortifying to admit that my husband was touching my pussy and that's why neither of us heard the car approach.

I'd been so pissed off at him. I wanted to smack his hand away. I wanted to smash his smug face but damn if he didn't know how to make me wet within seconds. It just wasn't fair that he was dead. That I never got to have my husband's cock inside me.

We pull into the cemetery and the rain pings on the roof of the car. Fabulous. Now I'm going to get wet too. Maybe it's a good thing. Cover the fact that I'm not crying. I'm not going to cry either. I did that before I got married. Back when I thought my life was over. Now, I can see it's just beginning and, if I handle this well, I can be the queen of my domain. That appeals to me almost as much as my husband's cock.

I let out a sigh. I need this to be over. I need to ignore the exhaustion and frustration banging on my mind and body. Because once I bury Renzo, the real work begins. I have to fend off all the capos. They're all going to want to take over. Angelo will help but honestly, the more I think about it, the more I want him gone. So, who else can help me? My mother, of course, but she doesn't really have the right inside knowledge. She's out of touch with the business side of things. I wouldn't tell her that but she is. It's an age thing. She's simply aging out.

Cars start to arrive. I see the hearse pass, followed by the family limo. Maybe Nico and Luca could help me. I know Renzo relied on them for some things, but they never seemed that engaged. Neither does their father. Leonardo has been polite to me the few times we've met but he never struck me as all that interested in what Renzo was doing. Like somehow he was above it all. Had more serious things to deal with.

That didn't leave me with many choices.

The rain let up as I got out of the car. Nico came toward me with an umbrella over his head at the same time Angelo arrived next to me. I walked toward Nico, hoping Angelo would get the hint but, of course, he went with me. He even had the gall to put his hand on the small of my back. I gritted my teeth. I was not going to spend my husband's graveside service with Angelo next to me, trying to establish his place at my side. This was just another power grab only this time it's me he wants to get his hands on.

I walk right up to Nico and put my arms around his neck. I can tell he's surprised because he tenses slightly. It's not like we've been overly friendly before this. "You and Luca stand beside me at the grave," I say.

He pulls back and meets my gaze. He must have liked what he saw because he nods, and when I drop my arms, he puts his arm around my waist and steers me to the gravesite while holding the umbrella over my head. Luca takes a position on my other side. As we start forward, I see Angelo's thunderous expression out of the corner of my eye. Too fucking bad. His days are numbered for sure now. I cannot stand the man, and I won't have him pawing at me.

The priest nods to us and then begins the ceremony. I tune out his words, grateful for the rain that hides me and everyone else under umbrellas. I don't have to meet anyone's gaze. They're all just waiting for a reaction and I am determined not to give them one.

As the priest drones on, I have the feeling that I am being watched. I know everyone here has their eye on me, but this is something different. The weight of the gaze ripples on my skin. I look past the priest further into the graveyard. All I see is headstones and mausoleums, but I know someone is there. I look left. Nothing. I look right and my breath catches in my throat. There's a man half-hidden behind a mausoleum. I swear it's Renzo. I only caught a glimpse but I would have sworn that it was him.

I wobble and Nico puts his arm around me again. "You okay"? he says in a voice barely above a whisper. It's actually more of a thought than actual words.

I give a slight nod. I don't trust myself to speak, my mouth had gone dry.

The priest gestures to me and someone puts a rose in my hand. I have no idea what's going on as I am still reeling from the sighting. Nico urges me forward, and I take a step and then toss the rose down onto the coffin, which at some point was lowered into the ground. I move back and Nico winds his arm around my back to steady me once again.

Then people come up in groups, drop their flowers and then wander away. I know they're coming back to Renzo's house…my house now, but it's a relief to see them all go. I glance at Nico and then at Luca. Do I tell them what I saw? No. That would make me sound like an idiot and I will probably need their support. I glance around but I don't see Leonardo.

"Where's your father?" I ask before I can stop myself. It's probably better that I don't ask such questions.

Luca glances at Nico and they seem to communicate somehow because Nico says, "Our father will be at the house later. He's not one for crowds, especially this crowd."

What the hell did that mean? I didn't bother to ask. They wouldn't tell me if I did. My side is hurting and I have a slight headache. I wish for this day to be over. They walked with me back toward the car where Angelo was waiting.

"Fuck," I mumble.

Luca narrows his eyes at me. "You have a problem with Angelo?"

Shit . Now what am I going to say? I decide to tell the truth. Maybe they can offer me some assistance. "He…has his uses but he's becoming a bit overly…familiar." I hope they understand what I'm trying to say without me going further into details.

Luca and Nico exchange another glance and both men's faces go hard. Oh shit . Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I can't have them kill him just yet. I need a good replacement. I'm about to say something to mitigate what I've already said when Nico says, "Angelo, you will find another way to the house. Luca and I have things to discuss with Mia. Family things."

Angelo's scowl deepens. "Fuck…" he turns to see who is still left. He has to half-jog down the road to catch up with someone.

I let out a long breath. "Thank you. I appreciate your help."

"You have to be able to handle this shit on your own," Luca growls.

I stop. "I'm aware of that. However, I'm not in the mood to deal with his shit at the moment, so chances were excellent that if he rode with me back to the house, one of us would be dead when we arrived, and it wouldn't be me."

Both men stare at me, but the ends of Nico's lips curl upward. His smile is so much like Renzo's, it gives me chills.

"Killing him today did not seem like a good idea," I continued, "so thank you for your assistance." I then continue toward the car where Ralf opens the door and helps me in. We drive away leaving the brothers standing at the graveyard. So much for help from that corner.

The drive to the house, my house, I remind myself, is too short. I try and compose myself so I can greet everyone and maintain calm. I have to have a chat with Renzo's brothers and this chat will determine what will happen going forward. Assuming they will agree to what I'm going to suggest, it will make the path ahead easier.

I sigh. It's going to be a delicate dance for me. If I go in and chat too long with the women then the men will dismiss me. They will try to dismiss me anyway. But if I don't give the women their due they may not support me. The reality of any mafia is the men may run the family business, but the business of family is run by the women. My mother can tell you who's screwing, who's using too much of their own product, and who's in debt to their bookie. The wives, daughters, and girlfriends can tell me exactly what's going on in the family and I am going to need to lean on that. So, I have to spend time with them .

As I walk up the stairs, Nico and Luca fall in step beside me. I regret asking for their help now. They think me weak and that's never a good thing. Especially since I will need their help on a more permanent basis. I take a deep breath as I stop on the top step and shake my head to Albert who has opened the door. He nods and immediately closes it again.

I put a hand on each man's arm. "The men will have a meeting here. They will not want me involved. They will not include you either. The meeting will determine who is putting their hat in the ring to take over the family. My father will not be invited for obvious reasons, but eventually, they will have to consult him. He's the former head of the family and still has some power but not as much as he once did. But this meeting is important. I need to be there and assert my dominance at this point. They will still try but it will be much harder for them to take over if I can show that I'm capable of running the business."

Nico nodded slightly but Luca frowned. "And you're telling us this because?"

I turn to him. He's obviously the one I need to win over. "Because I am capable of running the family and I will keep my position as the head of it. You two also need to step up. Renzo was a master at managing things, but he was also good at the enforcement side of things. I am excellent at business, but I have not had much exposure to the enforcement efforts. I would like to lean on you until I am more familiar with all aspects. With Angelo's days numbered, I need time to find a replacement and get better situated."

I meet both of their gazes. "I'm asking you to be my enforcement arm until such time as I can replace you with my own people. Unless, of course, you want to stay. I know this was your brother's dream but I'm not sure you two are as dedicated. As this is now the Valdici family, I am assuming you want to remain part of it. But if not, then I will aim to have you replaced in a few months."

"That's a rather bold statement," Luca says.

"It is, but it's the truth. There's no point in lying. You are family now. My family. And as family, I would expect you to step up. But if you do not wish to, then I need to make other arrangements."

Nico grins. "You're telling us to get with the program or fuck off?"

"In so many words. You have an hour to decide." With that I open the door and walk into my house. This is my world now and I am damn well going to rule.