Chapter 18

Chapter

18

Junior's was unusually quiet, but seeing as Al had been tormenting the city last night, it was understandable. Mark wasn't behind the counter, which was a relief. That might have been awkward, though the guy was used to me acting odd and might never know the difference. The coffeehouse was the only place I was pretty sure I wouldn't run into myself. If I had my timing right, I was either already knocked out at my church or, more likely, still at Kisten's boat, trying to convince him to run away with me. It was all a little fuzzy, seeing as Jenks had hit me with a forget potion. Soon as I was sure I wouldn't run into myself, I was going out to check on Kisten and cry ugly tears.

"How did I ever survive this?" I whispered as Elyse paid for our drinks with a twenty I had given her. It was odd, hurting this bad and wanting nothing more than to find Trent and have him fold himself around me, tell me everything was going to be okay—when it was Kisten I was hurting for. I loved Trent. Kisten being alive didn't rub that out.

All I had wanted was to get the pixy-piss mirror and go home, and now I was further from it than before. Damn you back to the Turn, Newt.

My old phone hummed from my bag, and I ignored it. It wasn't for me. David was currently having the worst week of his life. Maybe his second. I was already doing what I could for him.

Elyse had apparently gotten over Newt, seeing as she was flirting with the barista. I could have given her to Newt and been done with it. Solved two problems at once. But no-o-o-o-o, I had to do the right thing, and I slumped deeper into the thin cushion, angry and miserable, angry because I'd gotten a riddle instead of the mirror, and miserable because I couldn't help Kisten. He thought he was worthless, that Ivy and I—that the world—was a better place without him. I'd found a way to accept that he had died because of some inane vampire custom, but that he died thinking the world was better off without him? No.

Elyse's red, dust-stained shoes scuffed closer, and I looked up as she set a small coffee in front of me. Numb, I took it in hand, fingers warming. It didn't smell like a skinny latte with a pump of raspberry and a dusting of cinnamon, but if I had wanted my usual drink, I should have told her what it was.

Elyse sat down, silent as she sipped what appeared to be a blond mocha. "She took Scott's circle as if it was nothing," she said, her expression heavy with disbelief, laced with fear. "She almost had him—if it hadn't been for those memory curses, she would have."

Illegal memory curses are okay when they save your career, eh? "Yep," I said. "Demons are stronger than coven once you get them out of a circle. And it's only that summoning curse that keeps them in one. They can wield more power than anyone except the elven Goddess." Or an elf petitioning for her help. But no right-minded elf ever would, seeing as nothing good happened when a Goddess took an interest in your life.

Elyse scuffed her chair closer and put her elbows on the table. "All the more reason for you to join with us. Help us grow. Become as powerful as them."

Are you serious? "Sure." I took the lid off my cup to add some sugar. "You got a thousand years or so? The demons became strong by fighting a losing war. Personally, I'd rather get my wisdom from the library. Slower, but a lot less destructive."

Elyse fiddled with her coffee's sleeve. "The elves beat them? Elves are stronger than demons?" she said, her doubt obvious.

"Not anymore. If ever. They relied a lot on the Goddess, and the Goddess is seldom accommodating unless she sees a chance to make mischief."

Elyse pushed back. "Pffffft," she said insultingly, and my focus sharpened on her.

"She's real," I said.

"Yeah. Okay."

I dumped the two packets of sugar into my coffee, debating the wisdom of arguing with her. "Believe what you want. But you just met her."

Elyse thought a moment. " That was the Goddess? Newt?"

I stirred my coffee, missing Jenks for some reason. "Not yet, but she will be. When the mystics become aware of, ah, intelligent mass, Newt will be the vessel that they pour their collective visions into to understand." Newt had saved my life, and I took a sip, smiling as the rich, and now sweet, coffee slipped down. "If you thought she was erratic now…"

Elyse chuckled as she sipped her almost white drink. "Thank you."

I set my cup down, surprised. "For what, exactly?"

Her gaze flicked to me and away. "For not letting Newt abduct me. Or Scott. For erasing his memory that I was here dealing with demons. Talk about awkward."

A sigh escaped me. If I had let Newt take one of them, I might be on my way home by now with a mirror instead of a riddle. "You're welcome," I said, but it sounded grudgingly given, even to me.

"I, ah, don't worry about those memory curses. It was in the service of the coven. You're good," she added, and my attention sharpened on her.

I'm good as long as it is to their benefit? Double standards suck. "Yeah? How about dropping that inane demand that I become a coven member and give you my demon books?" I hunched over my coffee like a bird over prey. "That would be really helpful."

"I'm thinking about it," she said, and my gaze came up in suspicion.

"If it means we can get a stasis curse and go home right now, huh?" I prompted, and suddenly she couldn't look at me. Leaving now meant abandoning Brad to a slow slide into nothing, and she knew it. Newt had given me a riddle, not an answer.

"We don't belong here," she finally said.

"We used to." I sipped my drink, actually considering for a moment what she wanted. "No. Even if you could convince the rest to go along with it, I'm not leaving until I get an answer about that mirror. Not for you, but for Brad. I made a mistake. I'm fixing it."

Lips pressed together in annoyance, Elyse pushed back into the chair until it came up on two legs. "You don't have to prove to me you're a good person. I'm kind of over that."

Coffee in hand, I stared past her at the night. "That's nice."

"You have to let Kisten go."

"This isn't about Kisten," I snapped, frustrated. I had unwittingly convinced him to return to that boat and let that butcher of an undead vampire kill him because he thought his death made me a better person . How was I supposed to live with that? Face Ivy knowing it? What if he hadn't succumbed to Art and I had just left him there to die in the sun? Art lasted three days in the dark.

"Rachel." Her voice was soft. "You can't save him. When an undead bites another undead, both die. Always. They can't feed if they aren't awake, and once the aura they take in with a donor's blood is gone, their mind realizes they are dead and the body dies."

"You don't think I know that?" I said, voice hard. "Shut. Up."

"Sorry." She sipped her drink, eyes on the night.

Yeah, that's what she said, but what I heard was, Why can't we leave?

I took a slow breath, hands laced about my warm cup. "You think we should leave," I said, but it wasn't a question. "Take Newt at face value about the mirror and hope I can figure it out when we get home?"

Elyse lifted a shoulder and let it fall. "I never wanted to be here, so yes."

"Funny. I never wanted you to be here, either," I muttered.

"Oh, for God's sake." She turned to face me. "This isn't about a mirror anymore. You want to see Kisten. Make sure he's dead twice before we go. So go see him already."

For a moment, all I could do is stare. "Are you serious? Why do you even care how I feel?"

She shrugged, eyes going everywhere but to me. "I, ah…" Her gaze met mine for an instant, and her grip on her cup tightened. "I shouldn't have tried to trick you using Kisten as bait," she said softly.

My lips parted in surprise, and she hunched forward, brow furrowed. "I am so sorry," she said intently. "I knew you loved him, but I didn't care about what that meant, only that I could use it against you. And seeing you react to him, and then watching Newt try to do the same thing…"

My anger flared, and her expression pinched, becoming contrite. "I am so sorry," she said again, and I wished Jenks were here so he could tell me if this was an act or not. "It was cruel and self-serving, and I know having the chance to say good-bye doesn't make up for that, but you could find some closure maybe. And we could go home? You said you knew where to get a demon stasis charm."

Closure? I didn't like how she said that, as if the one act would tie the box with a bow and put it on the top shelf in my closet. Not to mention her thinking it meant I'd forgiven her for trying to bribe me with Kisten in the first place.

"You need to go to the boat," she said, eyes darting. "Say good-bye if nothing else."

She just wanted to go home, but as I eyed her guilt and embarrassment, I wondered if I could trust her long enough to at least make sure he was twice dead. That I might have left him for the sun was a guilt I didn't want to live with.

My gut tightened and my foot began to jiggle. Jaw clenched, I tilted my head to study the dark sky and moon. We have a few hours to sunrise. "I'm probably not at the boat anymore. Art came to kill him before midnight. It happened fast."

I blinked as the tears threatened, coming from nowhere. I am not going to cry in front of a coven member.

"Come on." She stood, cup in hand. "I read Kisten's file. It's like a ten-minute bus ride to where his boat is. You should find out if Newt was lying." Her lips twitched and she forced a smile. "And if nothing else, we can get something to eat on the way. I'm starving, and coffeehouse pastries aren't going to do it."

I sat and stared at her, wondering if she was doing this not because she believed what she was saying but because she had to have that demon stasis charm and I was her only source.

Lips pressed together, she took my cup—as if it might lure me into following her. "You can't help him, but you can say good-bye," she said. "Once you know for sure, we can go home."

My stomach hurts. This was something I wanted to do, but I was likely to walk away even more messed up. "After we get the mirror."

Elyse put a hand on my shoulder and smiled. "And that demon stasis charm, sure."