6. Minos

Well shit.

Kushiel was about the last demon that Minos wanted to see right now. Because, first of all, a human was in Sheol, and humans were not supposed to be in this part of the underworld. They weren't supposed to see where demons actually lived—it was supposed to be all lakes of blood and fire. Insert eye roll here. Listening to the screams of the damned got pretty boring after a few centuries, and although the lake of fire was actually kind of pretty, the rivers of blood were just boring. They were sluggishly slow, crossing them by boat always took forever, and the metallic, rotten smell just completed the unappealing picture.

It was hell, after all, so unappealing was kind of expected, and he planned to keep Adam far away from the pits. And the river. But some things were fun. The labyrinth was really his favorite part, and he thought Adam would find it amusing. That's where the most devious punishments were carried out. It was satisfying to walk into an illusion where someone was being punished in a creative and personalized way. Everyone's worst torture was different, and it was justice to see the truly evil people in the world suffering for their sins. If he remembered correctly, he even had someone eternally sitting through a teen pop concert surrounded by mean girls. Adam would love that.

Apparently Adam's ability to go off on tangents was catching, because Minos realized he needed to focus on the now problem, not ruminate on hell's more appealing aspects and what Adam would enjoy seeing. He also realized that apparently he had already made a decision—he was keeping Adam.

There was the crux of the issue, because demons did not just "keep" human souls in Sheol, and a large part of that problem was walking toward him right now. Because Kushiel's job was also judgment and punishment, and Adam would most assuredly fall under his purview, not under Minos'. Kushiel got the good souls who felt like they ought to suffer, and Adam was a good soul. Kushiel had perfected this whole bdsm thing over the years with most of his souls, and the thought of Adam being dominated by Kushiel made Minos want to kill him. Slowly.

Which again brought up the fact that Adam should never have ended up in front of him. He didn't know who had fucked up upstairs, but he had no doubt that at some point someone would realize the error, and then there would be nothing but problems.

Kushiel strutted closer, actually flaring his wings out a bit—such a show-off—and Minos took Adam's hand in his and pulled the human partly behind him, shielding him with his body. Adam held onto his hand and placed his other hand on Minos' back. He also seemed to sigh in a dreamy way while staring at Kushiel, which only pissed off Minos more. He'd had a taste of the human, and he was not handing him over.

"What do we have here, Judge of the Damned?" Kushiel asked, and yes, he was definitely fluffing his wings out. Using Minos' formal title was definitely a power play, as well. The fucker.

"Why is the Rigid One of God, an Angel of Punishment, questioning the Judge of the Damned, an Infernal King of the Underworld? This is my domain, Kushiel. You are merely an occasional occupant amongst the damned. Or do you forget your place?"

Adam peeked around Minos at all the throwing around of titles, and Kushiel looked at him with interest. "I do not think this soul is yours, Judge of the Damned."

"He was sent to my judgment chamber, so apparently you are mistaken," Minos replied. Shit, shit, shit.

"I think," Kushiel continued, stepping closer, "that he looks like he should be under my… guidance. If he feels the need for punishment, I'm sure I can… satisfy those needs."

At that, Adam stepped forward, ignoring Minos' firm grip on his hand. Minos had a moment of panic, because if Adam asked to go with Kushiel, he couldn't very well say no, but he didn't think he could let the human go either. Adam had shaken something loose in Minos and woken him from his state of boredom, and Minos was drawn to him in a way that was inexplicable. Watching him be punished by Kushiel would be torture (and him calling it that was saying something, because he knew torture), but he didn't think he could just walk away. Nor did he think he could deny the human what he was justly permitted to have. Good souls got to seek penance with Kushiel.

"Umm, excuse me, but hell no," Adam said, surprising both Minos and Kushiel. Minos actually watched as Kushiel's mouth fell open a little in surprise. "I don't know who you think you are, Mr. Rigid One, but no thanks, I don't need a piece of your rigid anything. And I am not dealing with any more angels, nope, no thank you. So you can march straight back ‘upstairs'"—and Adam did that cute air quote thing with his fingers again—"and you can tell them to fuck off. And fluff those wings all you want, Mr. Rigid One, but I am still not going with you for some of your kinky punishment. I got a demon and I don't need another one, thanks."

Adam turned to Minos then, half whispering, "I mean, so the wings are sexy, but don't worry Big Guy, I'm a one demon kinda guy. And he's way too cocky for me. You're all sexy brooding hotness, which is so my jam. He's got the cocky prick energy, and that is not my jam. So can we lose him and finish what we started?" Then the little human actually looked back at Kushiel and stared him down. Well, tried to stare him down even though he was shorter than Kushiel.

Minos was once again speechless, and it seemed Kushiel was as well.

Until the angel started laughing. Loudly. A full-out belly laugh that almost made Minos want to smile, but he kept his broody look on by sheer force of will (especially now that he knew how much Adam appreciated it).

"By all that is unholy, you've found the perfect match for yourself," Kushiel chuckled. "I wish you luck, brother, in your endeavors with this one. He's feisty. If you need any tips on taming his boisterous nature, let me know."

"I expect I'll do just fine without your assistance, Kushiel," Minos said. He relaxed a bit knowing that Kushiel had turned off the sex appeal and was showing some level of support.

"All the same, what will you do with him? He isn't, strictly speaking, supposed to be here. And I'm still not sure he belongs under your judgment, although he seems quite happy to be there," Kushiel said, looking more closely again at Adam. "In fact, I'm quite sure he doesn't deserve eternal punishment."

Adam huffed. "Well I'm not being eternally punished, so don't worry your pretty little wings about that."

"Humans are not allowed in Sheol," Kushiel replied, looking from Adam to Minos.

"Yeah, but I definitely do not belong ‘upstairs' either," Adam said, shrugging. "Minos is the Judge of the Damned. He's creative. He'll figure it out. But I am not leaving, so maybe we can just be on our way, hmmm?"

Kushiel looked at Minos, raised an eyebrow, then glanced at Adam and then back at Minos. Minos shrugged and then nodded. Yes, it was a problem. Yes, Adam didn't seem to think so. Yes, Adam seemed to think he was staying. And yes, he was staying.

It was amazing what an angel and a demon who knew each other for eternity could communicate with a few expressions.

"Well, then, I wish you luck, brother," Kushiel said. "And I shall send you on your way."

At which point Kushiel opened his wings and surrounded Minos and Adam with them. The feathers became an endless darkness that consumed them, and then, in a blink, the darkness was gone and they were in Minos' home.

What a show off, thought Minos with an eye roll.