36. Bram

36

brAM

I lifted the flask to my mouth and let the water trickle down my throat the moment I sat on the sofa. I’d used to use this flask for fae whiskey, but I’d filled it with water to try to curb the addiction. It helped—a little.

Ever since I drank with Pandora, I decided I needed to officially be done with alcohol. I hadn’t bought a back up bottle, either. I didn’t want to be a bad influence on my mate, and drinking wasn’t the way to cope. Though, I’d taught her the exact opposite.

It was my first time in Darkmore’s stuffy office this term, and I hated how good the asshole was at his job. I didn’t want counseling, but I did want to be better—for Pandora, and I would endure this shit to better myself.

Darkmore sat behind his desk, piercing white eyes fixed on me. “You’re late.”

His voice lacked the usual disdain for when he talked to me, and it weirded me out.

“Yeah, well, better late than never,” I snarled, screwing the lid on and pocketing the flask. My leg bounced incessantly. “Right?”

Darkmore’s eyes flashed with vengeance magic, and it rippled over my skin almost like a current of electricity.

I tensed, but I made no move to stop him. The slight sting was a reminder of why I was here. I needed to talk about Pandora and my abstaining from drinking before I spiraled again.

Therapy had to be better than drinking. At least, that was what I read on Kalista’s Information Server.

His magic faded as he sighed. “You’ve been drinking again.” He nodded to the flask, his tone more disappointed than accusatory.

“Was that it?” I quirked a brow at the weakness of his vengeance magic. “Seriously?”

“I’d much rather give you a higher dose of my magic, Hemlock.” He thinned his lips before grabbing his coffee cup and wincing. “Needs more caramel,” he mumbled to himself before locking his eyes back on me. “But I’m not risking Pandora through your matebond. Now, explain the flask.”

“Good point.” I winced, taking out the flask and opening it before taking another swig. “Smell. It’s water. I’m trying to stop drinking,” I muttered, moving the flask, making the water slosh around.

His nostrils flared, but his gaze softened slightly. “I see. I understand how easy alcohol can become a crutch. A little more than I’d like to, honestly. I’m also learning not to use it to take the edge off. But we can do that by remembering why we want to be present.”

“Pandora,” her name slipped from my lips.

“Exactly.”

I studied him. He had bags under his eyes, and he looked more disheveled than I ever remembered seeing him. “You’ve been drinking?”

He winced, sighing. “I like caramel fae wine a little too much. Reed pointed it out, and he’s even got me on this caramel macchiato coffee. It’s good, but the fae wine had just enough caramel.”

“Caramel because of Pandora’s scent?” I guessed.

“Yeah.” He ran a hand over his jaw. “She is my mate.”

“She’s mine, too,” I grumbled and leaned back against the couch.

“Yes, I’m aware of that.” His lips twitched into a ghost of a smile before he smoothed it away. “How about you explain why you’re leaving Pandora animal skulls? She has them on a shelf in her dorm. Nebula is quite upset about them. A raccoon and a mouse, yes?”

I nodded, a small smile flickering over my lips. She displayed my gifts. “She…likes them, then?”

“It seems so,” he mused, moving his tablet in front of him and tapping on the screen. “Let’s dive into the subject of your family. Specifically, Slater and Melinda.”

At the mention of Slater and Melinda, my heart clenched. I loathed feeling vulnerable, and those two demons made me feel exactly that. “What about them?”

“They’re the only ones who call and check in on you,” he revealed gently. “They care about you a lot.”

The words hit me like a punch to the gut. A mix of anger, confusion, and something else I couldn’t quite name surged through me.

“Why?” I demanded, my voice cracking.

“Because they see the potential in you, even if you don’t,” Darkmore replied easily—like it was obvious, even though it wasn’t. “Make your life worth it. You need to realize that you’re not alone. Realize it for yourself, but if you can’t bring yourself to do that, then do it for Pandora. She deserves the best version of you.”

I sighed, the breath whooshing from my lungs. “Okay,” I muttered, rising to my feet. “I’ll try.”

Darkmore dismissed me with a nod, but before I left, I set a prairie dog skull on his desk. “Can you give this to her?” I hesitated before pulling a poem from my pocket and slipping it under the skull. “This too?”

His lips twitched into a full blown grin, and he nodded. “Sure.”

“Thanks, Darkmore.”

He sighed softly before his gaze met mine. “You can call me Hunter…for her sake.”

“Well, then, for her sake, you can call me Bram,” I muttered before leaving his office, a soft click sounding from shutting the door behind me.

First name basis with not just a noble, but a member of the Demon Council? Never saw that happening. My head was spinning with so many thoughts. Slater was the reason I was put in this academy, but Melinda? His mom? Why would she care about how I was doing?

As I left Reform Hall and found myself at Occult Arch, I pulled out my tablet and read the string of messages from Slater.

Slater Havoc

Hope everything’s okay.

I heard you were trying to stop drinking. That’s amazing! I’m proud of you, brother.

Thinking about you today.

All good?

Darkmore… Hunter …was right. He must’ve called and talked to him. How else would he know I was trying to stop drinking?

Did I have to keep pushing him out like this?

Slater may have been a Havoc, a noble , but it was obvious that I’d been misled to believe that all nobles were shit. I had seen firsthand that there were some really good nobles in this fucking capital.

If only I had realized it sooner…

My breath escaped my lips in spurts, my chest tight with anxiety. Ever since I found out about Slater, I harbored resentment, confusion, and avoidance. I coped with everything by drowning in booze, but I couldn't do that shit anymore. Not after what happened with Pandora.

I needed someone , and Slater was the only person who might’ve given me a chance.

With trembling fingers, I made my decision and called his number.

Slater answered on the second ring. “Bram? Fates, you’re calling me! Is everything okay?”

At the sound of Slater’s voice, I broke down, the weight of everything crashing over me like a fucking tsunami. “No, it’s not,” I admitted as my eyes burned with unshed tears. “Listen, Slater, I…I don't know how to say this.” My words tumbled over each other. “I’ve been an asshole. To you, to everyone . And I just...I can't do it anymore.”

There was a pause on the other end, then a soft, “Bram, what's going on?”

“I blamed you for shit that wasn’t your fault.” Tears flooded down my cheeks. “You don't know what it was like living with our father,” I choked out. “Living with that monster…the things he's done to me...I wouldn't wish it on anyone. And you...you never had to put up with it. You didn't have to suffer like I did.”

“Bram—” Slater choked out, his voice filled with pain.

“I resented you so fucking much,” I admitted, the words tasting bitter on my tongue now. “I hated you because you had a different life, a better one. A noble life. I thought you didn't deserve to know me. But now…Fates, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve to know you.”

“I’m here. I'm here for you,” he said firmly. “You don't have to go through any of this by yourself. I don’t blame you for drinking or hating me…that was Harry Hemlock’s fault—not yours, Bram. He poisoned you against me and my mom.”

“All he talks about is how much better you are than me.” I lowered my head as the hot tears of shame fell into the sand. “He’s right, but fuck, he didn’t even give me a chance.”

“He’s wrong ,” he stressed. “He’s a piece of shit demon, Bram. He treated Mom horribly, but he’d never laid a hand on her, we didn’t think that?—”

“He beat me constantly,” I finished, my muscles trembling as I planted my hand on the hot rock. “I was between their fights all the time. I was blamed for the infidelity on both parts. You know, one time after high school, I tried to get into an academy in Fate Hollow to try to get away from him, but I didn’t have the academic marks or nobility status like you…I was rejected, and Father never let me forget how I’d never amount to anything. Mother thought the same.”

“Fuck, Bram.” Slater sniffled. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know any of that.”

“How could you?” My voice was thick with regret and sorrow. “And Pandora…” I sobbed. “I met my mate, Slater. She's...she's everything. But I was so fucked up, so drunk all of the time, so used to pushing people away, that I treated her like shit. You called me out on it when I did it in front of you that day, and I should’ve fucking listened… and now she hasn’t accepted our bond. I don’t know how to fix it. I just keep apologizing, but I know no amount of apologies will make what I’ve done—what I’ve said—right with her.”

“Gravesend’s your mate?” His breath hitched. “Oh, Bram…”

“I…I can’t do this alone, Slater.” A wave of crushing despair swallowed me. “I know I have no right to ask you for help, but?—”

“You do have a right. You’re my brother, and we’ll figure this out together. I promise,” he vowed. “I’ll be here for you if you’ll let me.”

For the first time in my fucking life, I felt a flicker of hope. “Really?”

“Yes! I’ve been praying to the Fates that you’d give me a chance,” he replied softly, and I could hear that he was crying. “You don’t have to ask me for one.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, my throat tight. “I can’t fucking thank you enough.”

“You're my brother,” Slater replied like it was obvious. “We'll get through this, one step at a time. You’re not alone anymore. Okay? You have me.”

In that moment, a connection formed between us, fragile but brotherly. It was the beginning of something new, something better, something that should’ve never been taken from us.

Maybe, just maybe, I could find my way out of the chaos I’d created with Slater on my side.