25. Skel

25

SKEL

T he air outside Reform Hall was stifling, and it wasn’t just the sweltering heat.

“Rapture Cavern is off-limits, Grimshaw,” Blackthistle barked, his voice like nails on a chalkboard. “And feeding the cats on campus is against the rules!”

My fingers played absently with the white streaks in my black hair as he droned on with a relentless barrage of complaints.

I had no fucking clue how he knew about me feeding the cats, but Rapture Cavern technically wasn’t academy property, so I could do whatever the fuck I pleased there.

I took a long drag from my fae pipe and exhaled, watching the rainbow-colored smoke curl lazily around me. It was almost like it was trying to drown out the torrent of complaints from the stuffy headmaster.

“You’re a walking hazard,” Blackthistle continued, his face flushed with frustration. His green eyes flicked over me with clear disdain. As if I gave a shit. “Your fear magic leaks everywhere, and now you're breaking the rules here without a care! What would your father think?”

“Maybe if the rules weren't so idiotic, I wouldn't break them,” I muttered, exhaling another plume of multicolored smoke. “Besides, Dad wouldn’t care about me feeding cats, and for the record, Rapture Cavern isn’t on campus. That’s a bit out of your jurisdiction, isn’t it?”

Blackthistle ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair with a heavy groan, but before he could retort, Pandora approached the building.

Her presence was like a balm, diffusing the tension between us, and my soul pulled toward hers.

Blackthistle stepped back out of my space, his demeanor shifting almost instantly. “Gravesend,” he greeted her, his tone softening. His gaze fell to her thigh, where Darkmore’s mate mark peeked out from beneath her skirt.

“Blackthistle,” she greeted back, nodding her head in acknowledgment.

He leaned closer and sniffed. “Darkmore’s scent…did he mark you? Are you mates?”

She nodded, a shadow of discomfort crossing her face. “Um, yes. Daryl already knows about it.”

“Interesting,” he hummed, not getting out of her space. “Nobody told me.”

Her gaze snapped to mine as I slung an arm over her shoulders and pulled her against me. I wanted to get her away from Blackthistle. Dude was being fucking creepy. “Do we have to report matings at the academy?”

“Usually when it’s a staff member and a student,” he said, crossing his arms. His eyes didn’t leave her thigh. “Especially when he’s your counselor. It’s a little…inappropriate. Don’t you think?”

“I don’t.” She leaned into me closer. “If anything, it makes me feel more open to talk about things.”

“We have things to do.” I turned and steered her away from him. I didn’t care if I was rude to the headmaster, especially when he was being a fucking weirdo around my mate. The sand shifted beneath us as we walked behind Reform Hall, away from his prying eyes.

“He’s creepy,” I muttered under my breath.

She gave a small, appreciative smile. “Thanks for stepping in.”

“I could say the same to you.” I kept my arm around her shoulders, and she let me. My heart skipped a beat in my chest.

“What was that about? He looked mad before I came over.”

“Feeding cats,” I replied with a shrug. “It was bullshit. I don’t see why me feeding cats is against the academy rules. Would you…like to meet them?”

“The cats?” She tilted her head.

“Yeah. I need to feed them, anyway. I was on my way to Rapture Cavern now.” I pointed toward Rapture Cavern now that we were out of Blackthistle’s line of sight.

She hesitated before nodding. “Yeah, actually. I love cats.” She pulled her tablet from her bag and sent a message. “I’m just letting Hunter and Reed know. I was about to meet them for lunch.”

I couldn't help but feel a pang of regret. It fucking sucked that she had to be so cautious around me to the point she was letting them know who she was with. I understood why, but it still hurt.

Once she let them know, she dropped her tablet into her bag. “I just don’t want them thinking something is wrong when I don’t show up for lunch.”

“Of course.” I smiled, just thankful she was spending time with me. “That makes sense.”

As we made our way to Rapture Cavern in awkward silence, the sun cast harsh, blinding rays of light over us. Waves of heat shimmered over the golden dunes. It was pretty, but it was even better somehow walking next to my mate.

The cavern entrance finally loomed ahead. “There it is.”

“That’s quite a walk.” She pushed her hair back out of her face with a small huff.

A smile curved my lips. She didn’t seem to like the heat. I’d never noticed that before.

Cool and slightly damp air washed over us as we walked inside. “It’s worth the walk, trust me.”

As soon as we stepped in, the cats appeared, pairs of glowing eyes reflecting in the dim light. They rubbed against our legs, purring loudly.

Pandora knelt down to pet them. “Oh, Fates, you weren’t kidding!”

“Of course I wasn’t.” My chest ached. “But if you were doubting me, why did you wander off with me all the way out here?”

Her gaze darted to mine. “I let Hunter and Reed know where we were going.”

Ouch.

“But these guys are so sweet,” she cooed. “I can't believe the headmaster would forbid this.”

“Politics and structure,” I replied with a dismissive wave before pulling my bag out and grabbing all the storage containers of food and laying them out for the cats. “Rules have the power to ruin everything good. It’s all about control.”

The cats swarmed the containers, making purring sounds as they ate. There were still eighteen cats, so I hadn’t lost any more since last time. Relief swept through me at that.

“Have you heard the rumors about dark magic being here?” Her gaze darted around the cave. “That’s why I let them know where we were going, Skel. Not because I didn’t trust you.”

“Oh.” My heart flipped. “Um, no. I haven’t heard those rumors, but I’m here a lot and haven’t noticed anything like that.”

“If there was dark magic here, my powers would've freaked out,” she mumbled. “So, I guess that’s good. Must be just a rumor.”

Suddenly, a roar rumbled from outside. The cats scattered, leaving their half-eaten food alone.

“W—What was that?” Pandora’s eyes widened. “I’ve heard that sound before, but I never knew what it was.”

I squinted into the distance and saw the massive wall of swirling dust and sand advancing toward the cavern with speed. The air grew thick and heavy with the acrid scent of dry earth.

“Sand storm.” I reached for her hand and laced our fingers together as a sting of sand hit against my legs.

I moved in front of her so I could take the brunt of the sand coming in.

“Skel?”

The wind howled like a banshee, and it scooped into the cave mouth, tearing at my clothes. “We need to go further into the cave.”

“Let’s go.” She nodded, and we retreated into it.

Each step echoed louder the further we went. The cave floor was uneven and scattered with small stones. The faint drip of water plopped somewhere, and the walls were rough and jagged.

I’d never been this deep into the cave before, but we continued even after the wind couldn’t reach us.

Scurrying sounds of tiny creatures and a flutter of bat wings filled my ears as the air grew colder. The darkness around us was almost tangible, like shadow magic, but it wasn’t. There was just enough light to be able to see the weathered carvings and glint of mineral veins in the rock walls.

We stopped in front of a small alcove carved into the wall, and I looked at her with my heart pounding in my throat.

Fates, she was stunning.

Her red eyes stared up at me, and in that moment, they reminded me of smoldering embers with an intensity that pierced my soul. Rosy color flushed her cheeks, and her long dark hair cascaded down her back, out of her face for once. And Fates, her lips were parted as she breathed, and it took everything in me not to kiss her.

I didn’t deserve to kiss her.

“Pandora, I’m really sorry for what I did to you last term.” I stuffed my pipe in my pocket. I didn’t need it when she was around. “When I got on my knees in front of you this term, it wasn’t to make a scene.”

“I know that now,” she murmured, glancing at the cats. “But it doesn’t change what I told you.”

“I was scared of you,” I admitted. “You were a threat to me in my mind back then. It was as simple of a reason as that, and it was wrong of me to treat you that way. Especially you. It kills me to know that I had it in me to wish for anything bad to happen to you.”

“Me too.” Her voice broke, and her bottom lip trembled. “You were so nice that night, and I opened up to you…but you—you threw all of it away, Skel.”

It cut me to my soul knowing that I was responsible for her hurt.

“I did, and I was a fucking moron. My fear magic was out of my control that day our bonds snapped. I never meant to frighten you.” I dropped to my hands and knees in front of her, away from the eyes of anyone else. “I would do this in public if it made you happy, but you didn’t want any witnesses last time. So, please accept this. I respect you more than anyone, Pandora.”

“W—What are you doing?” She stepped backward into the smoothly carved alcove behind her until her back was against the wall.

I crawled forward, meeting each step she took with a move forward. “I’m not just on my knees for you. I’m crawling for you, princess. Because you deserve nothing less.”

She flinched as my hands covered the tops of her feet, and I lowered my head to rest on them. “Skel?”

This was the ultimate gesture for a demon. Submission on the knees is one thing, but crawling? Something else entirely.

“This means more than what I did in class,” I whispered to her, and hot tears I didn’t realize I had cried splashed on top of my hands. “This means I am vowing my life to you. My life is yours, Pandora. I will only ever live for you.”

“Get up,” she croaked.

“I had no idea about the abuse you endured at the hands of your mother. I didn’t know about the scars you hid under that wrap.” More tears fell from my eyes. “I didn’t know you had just met your dad. Obviously, that’s no excuse for how I treated you. My fear of death made me irrational, and I’m not saying it as an excuse. I’m just giving you my shitty reason for hurting you.”

Folding at the waist, she bent down and cupped my tear-streaked face with her hands. She tilted my head back to face her. “Why are you so scared of dying?”

“I’ve driven countless demons to death, Pandora. I’ve done terrible things that the Fates wouldn’t approve of.” A sob wrenched free from my throat. “I didn’t mean to kill them, but I did, and what waits for me is going to be retribution. I’m not ready to face that.”

“You said you didn’t mean to kill them,” she murmured, searching my eyes for something before letting me go and stepping around me with a sharp inhale. “I don’t think the Fates would blame you for a loss of control.”

I fell on my ass as I tried to turn and follow her, smacking my back against the cool stone wall. “What I did can’t be forgiven.”

She bit her bottom lip, glancing toward the entrance where the storm raged outside, but the sound was more like a muted roar this deep into the cave. “What did you do, Skel?”

I sniffled, resting my head back on the cold, hard cave wall. “I grew up well. We weren’t nobility, but we had everything we needed and more. My fear powers were revered in the capital, and even though I wasn’t a noble, I was being considered for a spot on the Demon Council just because of my raw power.”

“That sounds promising,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around herself as a shiver worked through her.

“It was, but my power constantly overflowed. Nobody wanted to be around me. Even my sister, Kat—Katherine, had a hard time with it. But she did handle it.” Despair swelled in the tattered ruins of my soul as I banged my head against the wall. Hot blood trickled down my neck before healing spread over my skull. “She and I tried so many ways to stop my power from leaking, and we sought out a witch that was in the remote mountains of Cursina.”

She came closer and bent down next to me. “A witch?”

“She tapped into dark magic without us knowing,” I cried, tears rolling down my cheeks. “It was a volatile and corrupting ritual that backfired and amplified my fucking powers instead. It tainted my body, making it even harder to contain the fear magic. The witch disappeared, and I was stuck with the ramifications of trusting her.”

“Oh, Skel, is that why your magic is so uncontrollable?” Her voice broke, and her hand rested on my shoulder. Magic erupted from her touch and soothed my powers and soul. “I don’t sense any dark magic in you at all.”

“I know. It’s why it’s so bad. Almost a year ago now, my sister found a relic that could help contain my powers, so we went to this remote village that’s south of the Demon Capital and near the Ice Factory. When we tried the relic…it broke.” Hot tears of shame continued down my cheeks as I choked on another sob. “When it broke, I unleashed a wave of fear illusions upon an entire village, and they all?—”

The words caught in my throat as grief swallowed me whole.

“Oh, Skel.” She moved forward, hesitantly moving her arms around my shoulders to hug me.

Another sob tore from me as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her against me. Her touch was everything. “The result was catastrophic, Pandora. I don’t mean that lightly. Many committed suicide. Others had fucking heart attacks—I literally scared other demons to death. There were only a handful of survivors.”

Her hands wrapped in my hair as she held me close, and my soul writhed around hers. “Your fear magic is strong, but that doesn’t mean you can’t figure out how to control it. You’re not leaking right now.”

“It’s because you’re here,” I croaked. “When you’re around, my magic is calm for the first time in my life. I noticed it after our bond snapped. But when you’re not…the only thing that helps me is the fae drugs, and even then, it’s not a fix-all—but you seem to be.”

She trembled in my arms, but she didn’t say anything. It was like she knew I needed to tell her everything about why I did what I did. She was giving me a chance to explain, and I wouldn’t fucking waste that.

“And my sister—Kat doesn’t even talk to me . She’s so fucking scared of me that she won’t look in my direction. We were close until I caused the death of that village, and now she’s afraid of me just like my mom was!” I wailed, nuzzling my face into my mate’s neck and inhaling her caramel scent like a man starved. “When you—when I scared you and you were afraid of me, it drove me fucking mad. It wasn’t just the fear of death or that you’re a soul eater; it was because you were afraid of me, of my illusions. It’s why I was so fucking mean, and I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I…I understand now.” Her voice broke. “It doesn’t excuse what you did or how you handled it, but…I understand why.”

“What’s fucked up is this moment I’ve spent with you today is the first time in over a year that I haven’t been high.” I squeezed her tighter. “Thank you for that.”

She pulled back and glided one finger down the scar over my eye. It tingled. “Your mother?”

“Yes.” My chest squeezed painfully at my first fucking memory. “When I was a baby, my mom looked into my eyes and saw her biggest fear. My powers manifested early, and she tried to cut my eye out with her shadow. My dad had to kill her to stop her from killing me.”

“I’m glad he killed her,” she said, and I smiled. I was too. “I can actually relate, but unfortunately, my dad didn’t know I existed to help me.” She sniffled, tears falling down her face.

“What did she do to you?” I asked, circling my fingers around her wrist carefully to hold her finger against my scar.

She was so warm.

“My mother shoved her shadows down my throat to cut my vocal cords when I was little to stop me from screaming during the abuse.” She blinked the hot tears away. “She wanted to try and make me feed on the pain. But since I wasn’t a shadow demon, I couldn’t. That’s why my voice sounds like this.”

My heart twisted painfully in my chest cavity, and I felt it shatter. “It’s still damaged?”

She dipped her head. “I didn’t feed until the day I ate Mother’s soul, so demonically advanced healing wasn’t something I had the privilege of. I healed from the daily abuse very slowly. You know how demons have a baseline healing that’s better than a human’s but less than even a banshee’s? That’s what I was working with.”

Daily abuse.

“I’m so fucking sorry, princess.” My gaze fell to her lips, and she swept her tongue over her bottom one.

“Do you mean princess mockingly this time?” she rasped.

I shook my head, loving the way her delicate arms felt around my neck. “No. Endearingly from here on out.”

“Promise?” Her black hair cascaded over us like a blanket, and the way she looked at me stole my fucking breath. Her gaze wasn’t filled with caution but instead, desire.

“I promise, princess,” I whispered. “You’re my mate.”

Our souls sizzled, drawing us closer. The air between us crackled with our magic, and I reached up and cupped her face with my other hand. My thumb wiped away the tears on her cheek.

She’d cried for me.

“I want to forgive you, Skel.” She closed the distance between us, her soft lips meeting mine in a kiss both tender and passionate.

Was this her forgiving me?

My eyes fluttered shut as our magic surged around us, and my soul wrapped around hers.

Her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me closer as our kiss deepened. My tongue slipped past her lips as I reveled in the feeling of my mate kissing me. My cock thickened, pressing against her. I’d never felt desire like this before in my entire fucking life.

I wanted to mark her so badly.

She pulled back with a jolt, scrambling up off my lap and back on her feet with wide eyes. “I—I should get back to campus.”

The roaring of the sandstorm had passed, and there was nothing echoing through the cave but the sounds of purring cats that had finally found us.

“Are you…pulling away like I did?” My voice cracked. “I would understand if you were.”

Fuck .

Agonizing pain shot through my chest as if my heart was being pulverized.

“ No .” She shook her head, fingertips hovering over her swollen lips. “I’m not doing that. I just need to process this… us .”

“Yeah, of course. I get it.” I glanced down a moment before pushing to my feet. “I’ll walk you back to campus.”

“Thank you.” She leaned down and scratched the head of a few cats near us. “I’ll come visit you all soon,” she promised them.

A chorus of meows replied back to her as she straightened up and walked out of the cavern with me a couple of steps behind her.

The walk back to campus was silent until we reached Reform Hall. All I could think about were her lips on mine. She’d kissed me.

She stopped in front of the doors and turned to me. “Thanks for walking me back.”

“Of course,” I said, my chest tight as I stared at her. “You’re my mate.”

Her gaze was penetrating, but it was also soft. “I do forgive you, Skel,” she murmured, reaching up and curling her fingers around her throat. “But I’m not ready to be marked by you yet.”

“I understand. So you’re really giving our matebond a chance?” Hope swelled in my chest, and my heart pounded relentlessly in my chest cavity.

A worry that wasn’t unfounded cast a cloud over her beautiful red eyes, and she nodded. “Yes, but I’m not ready to take this step with Dex or Hemlock yet. I appreciate their willingness to apologize, and I do want to talk to them. Depending on what their reasoning was for treating me the way they did, I might forgive them, too. I’m just not sure.”

“I get it. That’s between you and them. I’m grateful for the opportunity to treat you the way you deserve. I’ll see you later?” My voice went up an octave, and sweat dripped down my temple.

“Of course,” she agreed, sweeping her hair away from her face. “I’m going to Hunter’s office now.”

I watched her turn and make her way inside before relief bottomed out in my gut.

My fated mate forgave me.

Magic rippled beneath my skin as my soul longed for hers. I darted my tongue out to wet my dry lips as I pulled out my tablet and started heading to Occult Arch. The looming rock cast a long shadow that I took refuge in from the desert sun. We didn’t hang out here anymore. Not since we found Pandora underneath it after she’d been attacked.

I flinched at the memory of her lying on the sand, bleeding and bruised. The sight in my head tore through my heart like a dagger, reopening the feelings that surged through me the moment I saw her that night.

Stumbling over to the arch, I crashed into it with my shoulder and sucked in a ragged breath.

Fuck.

Fear magic spilled from my reserves, and visions popped up around random groups of demons walking around. Their screams fueled my reserves, and I slid my back down the rock and sat my ass on the sandy ground. Setting the tablet next to me, I stuffed my hand in my pocket and pulled out my pipe.

My hands shook as I fumbled with the pipe in my grasp, trying to steady the trembling. I put the mouthpiece between my lips and inhaled deeply. The fae magic curled into my lungs and through my veins with a numbing burst, and my magical intensity lessened with each hit.

The edges of my vision blurred as my magic crept back into me.

Clutching the pipe tighter, the hollow emptiness of the fae high consumed me. It was what I needed to stop spilling my magic all over campus.

She really was my fix-all.

Once my magic stopped leaking and I was high again, I grabbed my tablet and called my dad.

It only rang once before he picked up.

“Skel?” His voice was gruff but comforting with a hint of concern in his tone.

“Yeah, it's me,” I replied, my voice wavering slightly from the drugs.

There was a brief pause. “It's been a while since you called. I’ve been worried about you. Have you apologized to your mate?”

I took another deep drag from my fae pipe as the rainbow smoke swirled around me in a haze. “I did. She didn’t forgive me at first, but she just did.” Tears filled my eyes. “She forgave me, Dad. I didn’t know if she would. And when I’m around her, my magic doesn’t leak.”

“It doesn’t?” His voice raised an octave.

The words spilled out before I could stop them. “When I just walked away from her, it started to leak again. But today was the first time in almost a year that I wasn’t high. And I was fine until she wasn’t near me. I keep trying to control it, but it's like trying to hold back a fucking drake. And Pandora…my mate …she's been through so much, more than I knew. I didn't know, though. I treated her like shit, and even though she forgave me, I still don't know how to make it right.”

Dad sighed, a sound filled with the weight of years of worry. “Skel, you’ve always had a tough time with your powers. But you need to remember that you’re not alone in this. You’ve got people who care about you, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. As for your mate, perhaps she’s the cure for your magic. Have you completed the bond?”

“No.” My voice was barely above a whisper. “She’s not ready, and I understand. Sometimes it feels like the only thing I’m good at is causing fear and pain.”

“That's not true,” he said firmly. “You have a good heart, Skel. You've just been dealt a difficult hand. But you can get through this. We will get you through this, and your mate clearly sees that too, or she wouldn’t have forgiven you.”

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat almost too big to speak. “Can I talk to her? To Kat?”

There was a long pause on the other end, and I could almost hear the unspoken emotions passing between my dad and my sister.

Finally, her voice came through, hesitant and soft. It was the first time I’d heard my sister speak to me in almost a year. “Skel?”

My breath caught at the sound of her voice. “Kat. You…you’re talking to me.”

“Dad said you wanted to talk,” she mumbled.

“I do.” My voice trembled. “I just...I wanted to say I’m sorry. For everything. For scaring you, for losing control. I never wanted to hurt you.”

There was a moment of silence, and I could hear her taking a deep breath. “I know that, Skel. I know you didn’t mean to. It's just...your powers…the fear. It’s too strong. It’s hard not to be afraid after seeing what you did to those demons.”

Fuck.

“I know. I really do. I'm working on it, trying to get better. I just...I miss you. I miss my sister.”

“I miss you, too,” she admitted, her voice softening. “But you’ll figure it out. You always do.”

“But I’ve always had you to help.” My voice cracked. “You’re not here, Kat. I’ve been high this entire year. I’m drowning.”

“But now, you have a mate. Lean on her, okay? She won’t let you drown.” She paused, and Dad spoke again.

“If you need anything else, call me, okay?”

“Yeah. You too.” I shut my eyes as tears spilled down my cheeks again. I couldn’t stop fucking crying today.

As I hung up, I lit my fae pipe again and took a deep drag. The rainbow smoke swirled around me.

It felt like Kat and I had taken a step toward healing our sibling bond. It felt like I took a step toward facing the fear that had controlled my life for so long, and it felt fucking good.

Relief and sorrow mingled in my soul, almost like a weight had been lifted but left a massive bruise behind.

The rough stone of the arch pressed into my back as I smoked my fae pipe again. As I exhaled, I couldn’t stop thinking about Pandora. Her lips had been on mine, and she’d wanted me. I felt it in my soul—in my fucking bones.

She wanted me as much as I wanted her.

Maybe, just maybe, there was hope for someone like me after all.