11. Dexter

“Is this the part where you ask, how does that make you feel?” I snorted mockingly, crossing one leg over my knee as I sat across from Darkmore—my mandated fucking counselor—on an admittedly soft sofa. It was not soft enough to make me cut my chest open and bleed for him, though.

“Yes,” Darkmore said smoothly, lips curling in a small smile. “How did it make you feel when your shadows cut into her skin even after she asked you not to use them on her?”

The muscles in the back of my neck tightened. “How do you know she asked that?”

Darkmore’s lips flattened into a straight line.

“She told you?” I asked.

“What if she did?” He cocked a brow. “Does that make you angry?”

Frustration leaked out of me as I gritted my teeth. “Why would that make me angry?”

“I don’t know, Shadowheart.” He leaned forward, steepling his fingers together as he put weight on his elbows. “You tell me.”

“A little.” I squinted my eyes at him. An overwhelming urge to let my shadows hack at his smug face spread through me. I wanted to feel his blood on my skin and taste his pain, but I quelled the desire, for now.

If my parents heard about me actively fighting back at the academy, it wouldn’t do me any fucking good.

Darkmore’s a noble who got the Vengeance representative title because his daddy stepped down, and while I didn’t give a shit about his standing in society, I guessed the asshole was doing his job.

“I’ll be frank,” he said with a better-than-you tone that crawled under my skin. “Refrain from using your shadows around Pandora Gravesend. She’s under my protection, so if you hurt her, I’ll hurt you. Clear?”

I tilted my head mockingly. “Are you fucking her?”

“Watch your mouth.” Black horns grew from his skull as his chest rumbled in warning. “Don’t insult her.”

“It’s insulting for her to be fucking you? I see.” Laughter belted out of me, and I swiped my hair out of my face with a rake of my fingers. “Soft spot for her, huh, counselor? She is quite the fascinating soul eater. I can’t seem to get the way her tears slid down her rosy cheeks out of my head. She’s been on my mind all night.”

His breath hitched, but his skewering gaze never wavered. “And what is it about her that”s been occupying your thoughts?”

I leaned forward, lips twitching in excitement with how worked up he was getting over her. It seemed like Darkmore really liked the little soul eater. They were totally fucking. “I can”t help but want to possess her, to make her mine.”

His nostrils flared. “She’s not yours, though, Shadowheart.” He reached for his coffee cup and downed a few gulps before setting it down with a thud. The scent of caramel wafted from it, mixed with fae magic. “Messing with her and hurting her isn’t a way to make her yours, either.”

I smirked, leaning back against the sofa. “Are you drinking caramel fae wine out of a coffee cup? I bet caramel has nothing to do with Pandora,” I mocked him. “Her sweet scent would never make its way into your diet, would it?”

“Don’t change the subject.” Anger laced his voice, and pure rage wafted off him, filling my reserves. “Pandora is not a woman to be controlled. She needs to be genuinely cared for. Can you do that without causing her further harm?”

A chuckle bursts from my lips, dripping with sinister amusement. My shoulders shook with mirth. “Care for her? When did I say that I cared for her? I said her tears were pretty, Counselor. I enjoy your reactions, but I am obsessed with hers.”

“That isn”t healthy, Shadowheart. You can”t treat others like objects to be manipulated for your own gain. She deserves to be respected and treated with kindness,” he growled out the words as his eyes flickered to a glowing white.

If she and Darkmore were fucking, that didn’t concern me. All I wanted was her pain and negative feelings, anyway…so why did the thought of them together set my teeth on edge?

I uncrossed my legs and rose from the sofa, feeling a dark smile smear over my face. “You don’t get it. You don’t know what it’s like to crave something so intensely that you”d do anything to possess it. And believe me, Darkmore, I will have her, whether you like it or not.”

With a roar, he stood, and I could feel his magical energy growing rapidly as he glowered at me from behind his desk. “I won”t let you hurt her. Now, sit down, or I’ll have to put in a request to have you switched to a different counselor. That would inform your parents since they were the ones who sent you here.”

Scowling, I gritted my teeth and sat my ass back down. I didn’t care about much, but I did hate pain. If my parents found out about my lack of cooperation, pain would come all too soon. “I make no promises.”

“Let’s talk about why you’re so hellbent on pursuing Pandora.” He took his seat as well.

“What’s it matter?” My jaw ticked, and I glanced behind him at the map on the wall with all of the red Xs. “Why do you have so many fucking Xs on the map?”

“It matters because understanding why means we can get to the root of the problem.” The glowing in his eyes faded, and his regular white and gray-ringed eyes came back. “It’s for my second job, but we aren’t here to talk about me.”

My gaze narrowed at him. “I’m not broken. I don’t need to get to the root of any problem.”

“No one is saying you’re broken, but what you did to Pandora wasn’t okay.” Rage simmered in his eyes as if talking about it bothered him more than me. Not that it did bother me. “She asked you not to, and you struck her anyway. Consent is important.”

“It’s not like I fucked her,” I grumbled. I knew what consent was. I wasn’t stupid.

The room shook with his vengeance magic, and I could see him struggling to hold back from killing me.

“Consent is important in more than just sex, Shadowheart.” His voice rumbled in his chest with every word. “Feeding should be consensual when you have to cause the energy to feed on.”

My lips curved into an amused smile. “So since your anger is filling up my reserves without me forcing it, it’s cool to eat it up without consent?”

“You know how consent works with feeding. Do not test my patience.” He let out an exasperated sigh, face scrunched up like he was constipated. Maybe he was. He was unusually grumpy. “You need to take responsibility for hurting her and feeding on her pain without consent.”

“Responsibility? You want me to take responsibility for something I’m hardwired to do?” I scoffed. “I’m a fucking shadow demon.”

“You need to acknowledge the pain you”ve caused her and the damage you”ve inflicted,” he told me in a haughty tone.

“What’s it matter? It’s just pain, Darkmore,” I growled. “I’m a shadow demon. We’re all fucking demons here. Pain is nothing!”

“To her, it is,” he said harshly.

I flinched like I’d been hit by his magic, and maybe I was. But why would pain mean something to a pampered soul eater? Easy answer, it wouldn’t. Which meant either Darkmore was talking out of his ass, which was possible, or there was more to her than meets the eye. “Can we talk about anything else?”

Darkmore’s glower intensified, but he nodded. “Can you tell me about your parents?”

Oh, Fates. Maybe I should’ve stuck to talking about the pretty soul eater instead.

“My relationship with my parents is…complicated.”

“How so?” Darkmore grabbed his tablet and started typing something out before giving me his full attention again.

“They aren’t exactly what you”d call…nurturing.” I swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat.

“Are they ever abusive?” He frowned as if he considered if he was being too straightforward with me.

The joke was on him; I was an open fucking book when I needed to be. If they didn’t want me to talk through my apparent issues, they shouldn’t have sent me to this fucking place.

“There are times when things get physical, sure.” I shrugged. “But that”s just how it is. I”ve learned to adapt and move on.”

“It sounds like your childhood wasn’t easy.” He schooled his features before typing a few things out. “How did you cope with the abuse?”

“I just…don’t let it get to me. I learned early on not to show weakness, not to let anyone see how it affected me.” I hit my tongue piercing on the back of my teeth. “I focus on survival, on finding ways to protect myself from further pain.”

“You’re speaking in present tense?” he clarified, but there wasn’t any judgment in his eyes like I had expected. It was welcomed.

I nodded.

“Do you feel any anger or resentment toward your parents for their behavior?”

“Anger? Resentment? What”s the point? It doesn’t help me any. Besides, I ate up those emotions long ago.”

“Do you believe counseling will help you with life?”

I tapped my piercing on the back of my teeth again. “No. I”ve never seen the need for it. I”m perfectly capable of handling my own problems. Besides, talking about feelings and emotions isn”t really my thing. I’m only here because it’s mandated.”

“Okay.” He typed a longer passage, and my fingers twitched to take it from him and read it. He glanced back up. “Why did your parents send you to the reform academy?”

“Isn’t that in my file or whatever?” I lifted my brow.

“Tell me in your words,” he supplied.

Fates. I hated therapists or counselors. Whatever they were, they were fucking nosy.

“My parents think I’m defective and want me fixed so they can commence their master plans. Obviously.”

His brows shot up. “Plans?”

“Same plans that killed—” Her name got stuck in my throat before anger spread through me like a raging wildfire. “None of your fucking business. What does the file say?”

He sighed, glancing at the tablet. “Your parents wrote that you were sent here due to your fear of pain being inflicted on you and being psychotic.”

“Psychotic?” I cackled, shoving off the sofa and pacing the length of his desk. “Do I look fucking psychotic?”

“I don’t think you’re psychotic,” he stated simply. “I’m more interested in your fear of pain. Can you explain that?”

“Isn’t this session over?” I came to an abrupt halt with my pacing.

“Yes, actually.” He grabbed his mug and downed the rest of the fae wine before meeting my gaze. “You may leave.”

Something inside me screamed as I hesitated to fade into my shadows. “Just…tell me one thing.”

“What do you need to know, Shadowheart?” He set the mug down and stared up at me.

“Are you fucking her?”

“No,” he barked as anger stemmed off him again. “Now, get the fuck out of my office.”

So, he wasn’t fucking her? A zip of excitement at the news ran down my spine.

I curled my lips in a smirk before stepping back into the shadows.