Chapter 29

Chapter29

Ezra’s nostrils flared. “Then do it.”

Lust pooled in my stomach, and my nipples strained against my sweater. I brushed them against his muscled chest, and he hissed.

His fangs scraped over my neck, and I arched into him, remembering the heady intoxication of drinking from him. His body had gone tense when my lips first touched his skin, each sound he’d made when I’d tasted his blood catalogued in my brain forever.

What would happen if he drank from me now? I shivered. This was the most dangerous thing I could possibly do, and I wanted to run headlong into it. Drinking from me wouldn’t bond us, but still. Ezra was the last living Prime, my ex, and the one guy I shouldn’t be left in the same room with. I knew all that, but none of it mattered. I wanted his teeth on my neck, to be closer than close to him, and damn the cost.

I swayed toward him, drawn by some heady magnetism.

“Aviva, no.” Ezra’s voice was ragged, and with effort, his fangs left my neck. “Not like this.”

“You don’t get to decide. You don’t get to control this game. I conquered you, remember?”

“Still…” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “I’ve never. Not with anyone.”

“Not with me, that’s for sure. You were so careful with me. So sweet,” I taunted. “Ironic that you held yourself back only to break me anyway.” I let my eyes flash green. “But I’m not so fragile, am I, Cardoso?”

I sucked on the hollow of his neck, licking the light, salty sweat, and then I bit down. It was with teeth, not fangs, and I didn’t break the skin, but he reversed our positions with a growl. My back smacked against the wallpaper so hard, a painting crashed to the carpet.

Ezra rocked against me, his hard cock pressed against my thigh. “A lot of talk, Fleischer. I know you well enough to know you only do that when you’re scared.”

Well, I was a smart human being throwing caution to the wind to play some fucked-up sexcapade with her ex, so it’s not like he was wrong. However, I was not one to back down from a challenge I’d started. I pulled my sweater off, leaving me in the magnificence of my lace push-up bra. “Maybe I want you to beg for it.”

His lips ghosted across mine. “You’ll be waiting a long time, sweetheart.”

I popped the front clasp and dangled the bra off my finger before dropping it to the floor.

Ezra palmed my breasts. “Nice,” he said, “but not worth begging for.”

Why? Because they wouldn’t rate in the boob pantheon you’d seen as Prime Playboy? My jaw hard, I undid the top button on my jeans and slid the zipper down halfway.

His gaze sharpened, tracking my hand as I ran it along my bare stomach and slid one finger under the elastic of my bikini briefs.

“Shall I continue?” I said.

He shrugged, but there was a tightness in his shoulders. “I don’t get to decide. Your game, remember?”

“True, but you never could resist joining in when I played by myself.” That last word came out in a moan as I fingered myself, already soaking wet.

A muscle ticked in his jaw.

I slid my finger in and out achingly slowly, my lips parting on a sigh.

Ezra caught my hand and sucked the finger into his mouth.

Fizzy bubbles exploded in my blood.

His eyes flashed almost pure silver, and his mouth crashed down on mine. He kissed me like I was his favorite memory. His lips tasted of booze and a faint tang of blood that snapped any last civilized impulse.

I slashed his shirt off with one swipe of my claws, then scraped the sharp tips along his biceps.

His response was to press more firmly against me, his kiss turning demanding and hungry.

My claws melted back into fingers that I raked tenderly through his curls. I was finding it hard to ignore things I hadn’t felt in years, like being cherished by that one special person. A feeling that I could tuck away to draw strength from on a bad day like a talisman.

This kiss was restoring pieces that had fallen out of me so long ago, I’d assumed them lost forever, now slotting them back into place.

I stiffened, pushing Ezra until the backs of his knees hit the love seat. I shucked out of the rest of my clothes and bent over the top of the couch. “Fuck me.”

Ezra flipped me over with one hand, like I weighed nothing. “If you’re going to ruin me,” he said, “have the decency to look in my eyes.”

“Why? Worried I’ll forget who’s behind me?” I patted his cheek. “Aww, sugar.”

“Worried I’ll forget who’s in front of me,” he shot back.

I stilled. It was just for a split second: a cold dash of fear that I wasn’t holding the reins, much as I wanted to believe otherwise. I immediately masked it with a cocky sneer, but Ezra had clocked it.

“Aviva.” He brushed the back of his hand across my jaw.

I smacked it away and wrapped a leg around his waist. “My rules.”

His expression hardened. “My mistake.”

His next kiss wasn’t combustible passion, it was a methodical grinding down of my defenses, like water carving a canyon through perennial cliffs. He threw all his weight into that embrace. All his attention. It was slow and thorough, his tongue tangling with mine. The hairs of his short-cropped beard tickled my skin, but it wasn’t unpleasant.

That same liquid lightning sensation as when I’d drank from him snaked through me like a lazy river, except it didn’t come from his blood. It was the taste of his lips on mine and the feel of his naked chest under my hands as I relearned the planes of his body.

The relief of getting to touch him this way again was almost painful.

My chest was heaving when I came up for air. “Condom. Now.”

“Bedroom. Now.” He picked me up and sprinted from the room before placing me carefully on his mattress, not unlike how he’d cradled me when I was wrapped in the burn blanket. Like he was scared I’d break.

The sheets were cool under my back, and the room smelled like him. I sat up, watching Ezra disrobe and grab a foil package from a drawer. A Prime could get a human pregnant, and we’d always been careful in that regard.

I studiously did not think about why he had one handy.

He tore it open, and I took the condom from him, desperate to roll it over his cock and feel how badly he wanted me.

Ezra watched me through slitted lids, his lashes a dark sweep against his skin.

He tensed when I wrapped my fist around him. He was hot and hard, and my insides were going rubbery with need.

I rolled the condom down and lay back on my elbows, watching him with a hooded stare.

He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, fisting himself a couple of times. “I’m going to take you spreading your legs wide as enthusiastic consent.”

“Don’t jump ahead of yourself. You haven’t earned enthusiastic.” I rubbed my clit, grinding my hips in invitation.

He yanked my legs toward him, resting my feet on his shoulders. “I will.”

“Have at it.” My words ended on a breathy sigh as he sank inside me, that final missing piece snapping into place. It wasn’t that he completed me, it was that I hadn’t let myself be fully present with any other lover since him. Except, as I lay here, naked with him inside me, I didn’t feel vulnerable. I didn’t feel powerful either.

I was simply happy.

Neither of us moved, because this game had gotten suddenly and sensationally real. Ezra returned the dopey grin I was flashing him with a kiss to the side of my foot. He was filling me up from within and holding me down to keep me from floating away.

Ezra and I weren’t easy together. Not anymore. I wouldn’t be giving him a young woman’s heart on a cushion. Let him in and I’d be handing him the keys to my kingdom, along with a map of all the structural vulnerabilities and trusting a ruthless vampire not to exploit them.

Again.

But what if he didn’t? What if he paired ruthlessness with a devotion that lit up all those dark, neglected corners of my fortress?

My smile faded. This brief encounter was supposed to be me making him regret walking away six years ago, not making sure he didn’t do it again.

Still inside me, he slowly rolled his hips. “Now, this I’d consider begging for.” He pursed his lips. “I mean, I’d say please.”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed.

He joined in, but his eyes darkened and he bit his fingers into my hips. “Naked, laughing, and under me. You have no idea how long I dreamed about being here again.”

“Since I fed off you?”

He gave me a crooked grin. “Sure.”

I didn’t want confessions, damn it. Why didn’t I appreciate secrets when I had them? This didn’t change anything; it just made my heart hurt. “Don’t get used to it.” I slapped his bare hip. “Move already.”

Ezra slammed against me, the movement rough and delicious, pinning me in place with one hand and running the other along my leg.

“That. More.”

“That sounds suspiciously like begging, sweetheart.” There was no heat to his words but there was to his kiss.

I wrapped my legs around his waist to take him deeper inside me, that tight coil heating to the point of becoming stardust scattered across the universe of my closed lids. I cried out his name when I came, my orgasm hitting me harder than it ever had.

Ezra followed with a hoarse shout.

I blinked my eyes open.

“Enthusiasm unlocked,” he pronounced, his voice still a little breathy.

I shrugged. “Eh, I’ve had better.”

“I haven’t,” he said seriously.

I wriggled backward to disengage. Oh no. I’d done what I came for, ticked that box, solved the problem of my attraction to Ezra. I wasn’t supposed to unlock a much, much bigger problem. “You don’t get to say that. That’s not what this is.”

“Make me take it back,” he mocked.

I kept silent, not wanting to fight. Five minutes. I’d give myself that long to enjoy this, then I’d go. Walk away first exactly like I said I would.

Ezra got out of bed, and I bolted up, thinking I was about to be denied my chance at closure, but he strode naked into the living room.

He wasn’t running off, just getting water or something. I closed my eyes, flexing my fingers and toes and enjoying the delicious ache in my body. Four minutes.

“Here.” He dropped a light bundle on me. “Thought you might like this.”

I opened my eyes to a puddle of crimson on my chest.

He’d knitted me a sweater in the exact same shade as my shedim hair. It was thigh length, with long sleeves that had those thumb holes in them to pull the fabric over my hands and keep them warm. All of it would keep me warm because it was the snuggliest garment I’d ever seen. Wearing it would be like being in a constant hug.

I brushed my cheek against it. Bunny fur was abrasive steel pads compared to whatever he’d used.

The light caught the threads, revealing that it wasn’t one solid color. There was an ocean of crimson, folds that drew the light into dark depths and cuffs that glinted with sparkly accents.

It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, and Ezra had made it for me.

He watched me practically hugging it, his eyes dancing, and a soft smile tugging at his lips.

I dropped the sweater like it was on fire.

Ezra flinched. He opened his mouth, but I was already bolting from the bedroom to retrieve my clothes.

I pulled them on with sharp, frustrated movements. This was supposed to be hit it and quit it. Fuck Ezra’s brains out and go. He could have knit me a scarf, an impersonal pair of gloves, something basic. Not something so beautiful that reflected a part of me that I’d shown to only him.

“What did I do wrong?” He came into the living room in jeans, a T-shirt slung over his shoulder, holding the sweater.

“Nothing. It’s lovely.” I mustered up a polite smile, but I also looked away so I didn’t snatch it out of his hands. “Lovely” didn’t come close to describing it. I wanted to come home after a hard day and slip into it, reveling in Ezra’s thoughtfulness and care, but I was here to close a door, not keep one open. Accepting the gift and leaving was too cold-blooded.

Even for me.

“I have to go,” I said.

“Why?”

“Because.” I yanked on the thin hoodie I’d come here wearing. Backward. I muttered a curse and straightened it out. “This was supposed to be goodbye.”

“A fuck for the road,” he said icily.

He didn’t get to be a willing participant and then play hurt. Anger flashed through me, making my hands tremble as I zipped up my jeans. “Well, you didn’t stick around the Maccabees long enough to get a retirement watch, so I figured I’d give you a parting gift,” I said nastily. “Killing Calista saved you a resignation letter, remember?” I jammed my feet into my boots and stuffed my socks in my pockets. “We both know you were never sticking around. You’d be reassigned. This was fun, and now we have a good final memory of each other. Better than our last parting, right?”

Ezra tossed the sweater on the sofa. Eyes glinting dangerously, he was like a carving by Michelangelo. Untouchable perfection but as cold as marble.

He didn’t get to retreat into some emotional fortress. Not when I’d said I was here to ruin him. Not when he’d told me to.

Finish this, Cherry whispered.

I jerked my chin at his tattoo. “Consider yourself well and truly conquered, baby.”

“Don’t confuse being conquered with being compliant. I’m a Maccabee, too, remember?”

Maccabees were operatives, but we took our name from the resistance fighters who scored a major military victory over the powerful Antioch IV.

Had Ezra just declared his intention to fight for me?

“No,” I said. “You were one. And you do not get to decide that the past six years don’t matter.” I’d fought hard to free myself from the heartbreak he’d left scattered like buried mines, which detonated without warning for years. “And I’m not some territory you get to lay siege to. You chose to be conquered, but you’ll never decide that for—” I screeched and jumped backward.

A portal swirled open not five feet away from me. One strung with magic mesh.

“Wh-why is a door to the Copper Hell opening here?” I said, inching backward.

He shot it an annoyed glance and shrugged into his T-shirt. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t matter?! I sure as hell think it does!” I glanced from the portal to Ezra and then back again. “What did you do?”

He yanked on his leather hunting jacket. “So quick to assume I’m at fault.”

“You’re not freaking out, so yeah, Ezra, I think you did something. I demand to know what it is.”

“You’re not in any position to demand a thing.” Ezra buttoned the jacket up from waist to chin.

“Tell me,” I snarled.

He shrugged tightly. “Why do you think Delacroix let a Maccabee leave his yacht alive?”

“He wanted me to find Calista.” I shook my head at him like that was obvious.

“Right.” Ezra laughed mirthlessly. “He’s a shedim, Aviva. You decided that was the full story, instead of only one chapter in it, because it suited you.”

The portal had grown, crowding me back against the wall. There was a tension, an insistency to its pulsing, like a telephone that wouldn’t stop ringing.

“Killing Calista was the price of your freedom. It wasn’t a condition for me to remain alive.” I paused. “Was it?”

“No. Killing Calista was the only way Delacroix would let me go free that night.”

An eerie yowl emanated from the portal, sending shivers down my spine.

Ezra swore in Spanish. “Hold your horses,” he muttered, rooting under the sofa and pulling out shoes.

Was I losing my mind? My head? Ezra wasn’t handing me over to Delacroix, was he? The demon could have killed me when I faced him with Maud—why let me go? Had Delacroix decided Ezra was my ultimate weakness and he hoped to inflict the pain of yet another betrayal on me?

“Are you delivering me to him?” I said.

Ezra shot me such a look of contempt that it dissolved my fear.

I threw my hands up in the air. “Then if I’m not being offered to the sea demon, why are you going back?” My stomach twisted. “Did you martyr yourself for me? Strike some deal with Delacroix to let me remain safe?”

Ezra crouched down, focusing on his shoelaces like they were a complex math problem that required all his attention to solve.

“You traded your life for mine,” I breathed.

“Ah, mi cielo.” He stood up, eyes alight. “If I’m dead, how will I lay siege?”

I ground my teeth together at the term of endearment. The first night we met, we stayed up talking and wandering around the city. Dawn found us sitting on the seawall at Stanley Park watching the sun. Ezra shared the Spanish word for “sky,” and how he was so thankful he could still see the sky by day, unlike Trad vamps. That it was a precious gift he’d never take for granted.

He called me “mi cielo” for the first time less than a week later.

“Then what is happening here?” I had to yell over the portal’s deafening growl.

Ezra stretched his arms out wide. “Meet Delacroix’s new co-owner.”

My mouth fell open, my emotions a tangled snarl. “You’re the Lord of the Copper Hell?” I said contemptuously.

“You make it sound like I’m an escapee from Riverdance.” He shoved his phone in his jacket pocket. “But yes. Consider it a mitzvah. I’m filling a power vacuum before things get ugly.”

“Ezra, don’t.” I edged around the portal to stand face-to-face with him. “The Maccabees will let you back in if you tell them Delacroix forced you to kill Calista. Whatever reason you had for joining, don’t sacrifice it for me. I can take care of myself. We’ll deal with Delacroix after.”

Ezra stepped between me and the portal. “I didn’t sacrifice shit for you. Not everything is about you, Aviva. I didn’t get the results I desired from the Maccabees.”

Hadn’t he joined to instigate his playboy cover story and fortify his defenses? That still felt true, but nothing about Ezra was easy. Why have one agenda when he could have three?

“What results?” I said.

“This is a better way to reach my goals.” He flashed me a cocky smile. “Though I can’t lay siege if you’re dead either.”

I wasn’t his goal. Well, not the one he carried over from being a Maccabee to running the Copper Hell. I swallowed a frustrated scream and grabbed his arms. “You can’t do this.”

“I can do whatever I please.” The Crimson Prince met and held my gaze relentlessly.

My grip on him tightened. If he left, if he became a party to my father’s brand of pain and misery, I’d lose Ezra.

Or he’d lose himself.

“It’s one thing for you to leave the Maccabees,” I said urgently, “but do this and you draw a line between the two of us that there’s no coming back from. We’ll be enemies.”

“You proclaimed me your personal nemesis first with that Count von Cardoso crap. You’re so determined to make me your villain.” Ezra broke free of my grip with a mocking salute. “Careful what you wish for.”

He stepped through the magic mesh and was gone.

Once again, Ezra had walked out of my life in a shocking exit, but this time I was left standing. Confused and angry, but unbroken.

Delacroix’s motivations, everything that had happened with Ezra since this case began, including tonight—I was certain I’d seen all of it clearly. I’d survived the Copper Hell, caught our suspect, and fucked Ezra out of my system. I’d triumphed with the winning hand.

Except all this time, I hadn’t been playing cards or rolling dice. I’d been watching a shell game where the cup had finally been lifted, revealing nothing but air.

I picked up the sweater he’d made me, almost like it was a feral cat, and feeling only slightly foolish, I sniffed it. It still smelled like him. I slipped it over my head, sighing at the feeling of being inside a pillow that tumbled over me.

Ezra and I were definitely enemies now.

But we were far from done.