Prologue

PROLOGUE

R on “Demo” Snyder stood between two of his club brothers, Jumper and Bear. The night air was heavy with tension and anticipation of what was about to happen. They were all gathered around the moonlit, snow-covered field. Every patched member and prospect of the Via Daemonia Motorcycle Club was present. The club’s hands were not as clean as they had been for the first five years of their existence. Blood now stained them red. One could argue the justification of their actions, but it did not change their new color.

And now? Their red hands were about to become even darker. The club had never had an execution like this before.

Though none of the ol’ ladies or club kids were present, they knew something was amiss from the tension around the clubhouse.

Demo looked over at his club brother, Pumpkin, and did not envy the man. His son had been born less than four hours ago yet here he was, stuck in the snow with the rest of them. Though Pumpkin’s face was devoid of any emotion, Demo knew his friend and brother well enough to know how badly he was hurting. His son’s birthday would forever be tainted. He would never be able to celebrate without having this moment stuck in his head.

As much as Demo knew that Pumpkin didn’t deserve that, he also knew that Steel had to make a point. That point was simple: do not betray your club . If the Honeys hadn’t already been dismissed of their duties, Demo had to wonder if Steel would have made them be present too. After all, it was one of them who had betrayed the VDMC.

Cheryl knelt in the snow. For all that she had just given birth four hours before, she didn’t look sleepy. Pale, certainly, and shaky with nerves. Silent tears streamed down her makeup-less cheeks. Steel had allowed her one final meal and a shower before escorting her out to the field himself. She wore a pair of medical scrubs but no jacket or shoes.

The club’s President stood stoically behind her. Demo knew Steel’s only reservation about what was to happen was because Cheryl was a woman. It went against the grain, but Steel would never ask someone to do a job he wasn’t willing to do himself.

Which was why he was standing behind Cheryl with a gun and a silencer as she said her final prayers. Angel had offered to do it. As the only female member, she knew how the rest of them felt about executing a woman. She’d taken care of Evette, Cheryl’s partner in crime. The only reason Cheryl was still alive was because she’d been carrying Pumpkin’s son up until four hours before.

Steel, however, had declined Angel’s offer. Perhaps Steel did not want to put another death on Angel or perhaps he wanted to make an example of Cheryl. Regardless, he would be the one to pull the trigger today.

Pumpkin and Bulldog flanked him. The only reason Pumpkin was there instead of Lucky, the club’s VP, was because he’d asked. He expressed time and time again that he did not have feelings for Cheryl. That she’d been nothing more than a convenient fuck. But Demo had to wonder if Pumpkin was as detached from what was about to happen as he claimed. He had spent a lot of time with Cheryl over the past three months. He said it was taking care of his son, which he couldn’t do without also taking care of Cheryl.

Demo hadn’t held the baby or seen him yet. He’d gotten the message that the baby had been born and then to come outside. They all had known this was coming. In the past, the club had circled around the pregnant ol’ lady, protecting and helping her as much as they could as they all impatiently waited for the new club baby to make his or her appearance. This time, it had felt more like a guillotine watch . Demo wasn’t even sure where the baby was, though he was certain he hadn’t been left alone. Most likely Tessa, Bear’s wife and ol’ lady who had helped deliver the baby, was caring for him until Pumpkin could get back.

The number of club kids had exploded in the past year. Steel and Lucky used to be the only ones with kids, and then suddenly Bear, Bulldog, Angel, Cage, and now Pumpkin had joined the ranks of parenthood. Demo loved his club nieces and nephews, but there was no doubt he was closer to Sissy, Lucky’s adult daughter, than he was Lila, Bulldog’s six-year-old daughter. Kids? Well, they terrified him.

When the question of paternity had come up for Cheryl’s unborn child, Demo had nearly shit a brick as Bear had come towards him with a mouth swab. All of the unattached members had been tested with the exceptions of Angel, who was a woman and couldn’t have fathered a child, and Jumper, who had been celibate prior to pairing up with his ol’ lady, Jasmine, due to his severe PTSD.

Demo knew that he would have stepped up to care for the baby had it been his. He would have—at least, that’s what he kept telling himself. But he also knew he had been praying with every fiber of his being that he was not the father. Kids were observant and loud and needed constant protection.

The idea of holding a small little person that was solely dependent on him? That wasn’t the terrifying part. No, Demo knew down to the marrow of his bones that he would do anything for his child. That unknown future was what terrified him.

His own mom had made the ultimate sacrifice for him. He’d been raised by a single father who loved him, but also blamed him for his wife’s death. None of it was Demo’s fault—his father knew that—but it didn’t stop the looks, the pain . Demo had joined the military in hopes of finally proving to his father that he wasn’t selfish. He wanted to honor his mother’s sacrifice by making something of his life.

Though his relationship with his dad had gotten better over the years, it wasn’t the greatest. They talked on holidays and birthdays. Demo went out to Wyoming to visit him two times a year. His dad had never come to Pennsylvania to visit him.

He didn’t remember much about his mom. Since he was five years old, it had been just his dad and him…and the guilt. It was hard to imagine ever blaming his child for something that was entirely not his fault. Demo knew that nothing short of unconditional love would be how he would raise his children. No sacrifice would be too great. He would give his child everything he was and everything he had to ensure they had a bright and happy future.

And that terrified him.

Not the idea of dying for his child as his mom had. He’d gotten past the fear of death while in the military. But not knowing what he would do for his kid. How far he would go to protect them.

Pumpkin’s son was four hours old and now Pumpkin was about to watch his club’s President execute the mother of his child.

All the times he’d pushed off the idea of having his own kid, Demo had never paused to wonder about that kid’s mother. Of course, he or she would have to have a mother. That was biology. But Demo had never pictured her before.

He liked women. Hell, he loved women. He loved their shapes and their laughter, their hips and their lips, their sassiness and their coyness… He loved the challenge of the chase and the thrill of the win once they made it to a bed, or a wall, or a cage, or a closet.

But come morning, Demo never had the desire to stick around for seconds. The game was won, the chase was over. There was nothing left to discover. He didn’t even have it in him to say he would call, knowing he never would. It was just a quick goodbye, the occasional ‘thank you’, and off he went. The only repeats in his history had been the club Honeys and that was because they had known the score. There had never been the concept of ‘more’ with them.

Now that the Honeys were a thing of the past, there were some changes to Demo’s routine. Getting shot hadn’t helped that either. He’d needed time to recover too. Sex hadn’t been a priority when he’d been worried about dying.

Nearly dying had given him some perspective though. He saw the relationships of those around him and had to wonder if that was in his future. Hell, if Cage , the biggest man-whore the club had, could be tamed and domesticated by love, there had to be hope for Demo too.

Right?

Steel stepped forward. He placed a hand on Cheryl’s shoulder. Though her back was to the club members there to bear witness to her execution, Demo saw her wince.

He wondered what was going through her mind. Was she worried about going to Heaven or Hell? Was she concerned about her son and how he would be raised? Maybe the fact that he would never know her? Perhaps, she was contemplating how she’d lived her life. Did she have regrets or was she satisfied with the life she led?

“Any last words?”

Demo’s head snapped up at Steel’s words. His face was emotionless, giving meaning to his moniker. His eyes and face were ‘hard as steel’.

Whether from nerves or the cold, Cheryl’s body trembled as she shook her head.

Steel raised his handgun. The silver gleamed in the moonlight. The muzzle of the silencer was aimed at her brain stem. Despite what he was about to do, Steel was not a cruel man. He had no desire to have Cheryl suffer needlessly. Had she been a man and did what she did, Demo had no doubt that her life would be ending far differently. Steel was not the sort of man to treat a woman so heartlessly regardless of transgressions. Aiming the bullet for her brain stem would be an instant and painless death.

Demo saw Steel’s finger start to squeeze on the trigger when Cheryl suddenly shouted, “Wait!” and spun around. Steel lowered the gun without firing. On her hands and knees in the snow, she looked up at Pumpkin with tear-filled eyes. “His name. Just…please… I want to know his name.”

Pumpkin didn’t owe her anything. He could also have lied to her, but this was practically her dying request. Almost like a last cigarette.

Still, there was enough hesitation where Demo wondered if Pumpkin was going to answer or not. Then he said, “Seth. I’m giving him my name and will call him ‘Junior’ or ‘SJ’.”

Cheryl’s chin trembled. “Seth,” she muttered softly. “Please…” She wiped at her wet cheeks. “When he’s old enough, tell him I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there for him. And… And that I don’t blame you.” Her eyes never wavered from Pumpkin’s, making Demo believe she meant him specifically and not the club as a whole.

After another moment of hesitation, Cheryl nodded to Steel. “I’m ready.” Her chin wobbled as she turned back around.

She tipped her chin up towards the moon. Steel once more raised the muzzle of his gun.

When Demo had been shot, it had been a reflex. Jasmine had been in danger and he’d placed himself between that danger and her. He would have done so for any of the ol’ ladies, the club kids, and even his brothers. Demo had been in many firefights, though his time in the military was generally spent disarming or building various demolitions. Due to the lack of fingers on his left dominant hand, he’d had to work through years of therapy to force his right hand to become his new dominant hand. His aim was just as true now as it had been prior to his injury.

Even bleeding out with two bullets in him, Demo had fought to protect Jasmine. His returning fire had taken out the tire of the van. The possibility of death had occurred to him, but his primary emotion had been concern for Jasmine. He’d failed to protect her from being kidnapped.

One had to wonder what went through someone’s mind as they were being executed. When Demo had been shot and thought he was going to die, he realized he had regrets. One of the first things he’d done upon waking up after surgery was to call his dad. Even though it had just turned into another one of their disjointed conversations, he’d made the effort. With Christmas coming up, Demo planned to fly out to see him. He did not want his relationship with his father to be a regret at the end of either of their lives.

His other regret was harder to explain. He didn’t see a specific woman, merely the silhouette of one. Demo had no idea who she was and thought perhaps it was merely the absence of a woman in his life. Unlike Bulldog, he wasn’t secretly pining for a lost love or like Jumper, fearful he wasn’t worthy of love. There literally was no woman who had ever caught his eye as the ol’ ladies had with his club brothers.

It made him wonder if perhaps he was destined to be alone. The lack of kids didn’t bother him, but the lack of a woman made him feel like he was missing a limb. Even now, it was like there was a faceless phantom standing behind him.

In the silence of the night, Steel pulled the trigger. The sharp thwick of the bullet was followed immediately by the thud of Cheryl’s body crumpling in the snow. No one moved for several long minutes. Crimson stained the white blanketing the frozen ground beneath their boots.

Finally Bear moved forward. Squatting down, he verified Cheryl’s death with a single nod up to Steel.

Demo took several steps forward. He didn’t touch or say anything to Pumpkin. The two men were nearly the same height at six feet. Though Demo was a few years younger, the two had become fast friends upon Pumpkin joining the club. He’d been one of their first prospects, serving only six months instead of the required year.

Others eventually left. The prospects took the body. And still Pumpkin stared at the stained ground.

Demo’s shoulder throbbed from the cold, but he didn’t want to leave his friend. He wasn’t sure what Pumpkin was thinking or feeling. Steel remained behind too. Demo knew there was no animosity between the two. Pumpkin would never blame Steel for doing what he had to do.

“I don’t feel bad about her,” Pumpkin finally said. His voice held little emotion. “I’m worried about my son who is now motherless. What if he turns into some sort of psycho serial killer because he didn’t grow up with a mother’s love?”

Demo gave his friend a sidelong glance. “I think he’s more likely to grow up to become an asshole with you as his dad.”

Pumpkin snorted.

“He might not have a mother,” Steel said quietly from behind them, “but he’ll have family. You think the ol’ ladies are going to allow him to grow up not knowing how to treat a woman with respect or to protect those weaker than him? He’ll have plenty of maternal input in his life.”

“Plus,” Demo added, “I hear that DILFs are totally in right now.”

Pumpkin chuckled. He ran a hand down his tired face. “You know, those fuckers who told us in Sex Ed that abstinence is the best form of birth control lied. Having a baby is. I don’t think my dick’s worked right since Bear told me the baby was mine.”

Demo wanted to laugh at his friend’s joke, but a sharp pain in his shoulder distracted him. He flinched, his right hand going automatically to his left shoulder.

“SJ’s going to be just fine,” Steel said. He stepped up beside them. Though his words were for Pumpkin, his sharp eyes that seemed to miss nothing were on Demo. “He’s Via Daemonia . There’s more to his legacy than having you for his father or who his mother was.”

Slowly, Pumpkin nodded. He turned his back on the crimson snow. “My kid’s hours old and I’m already worried about so much. Like, his first date and explaining girls to him. What if he has an allergy? What do I do if he gets sick?”

Steel let out a very rare chuckle and clasped Pumpkin on his shoulder. “Welcome to fatherhood, brother. And just a word of warning, those fears will never go away—no matter how old your son gets.”

That said, Steel headed back towards the clubhouse. Throwing his head over his shoulder, the President added, “And Demo? Get yourself to the fucking doctor!”

Demo grimaced. He was a fucking adult, yet he felt like he’d just been scolded by the principal. “How does he fucking do that?”

Pumpkin shrugged. “I have no clue.” His eyes narrowed on Demo’s hand on his shoulder. “What’s going on?”

Demo tried to push it off. “It’s just being out in the cold.”

“Bullshit,” Pumpkin snapped. “What’s going on?”

Rubbing the healed wound, Demo tried to alleviate the stabbing pain. “You have a baby to take care of,” he reminded his friend. “You don’t need to be worrying about me too.”

“Having a kid doesn’t change the fact that you’re my friend and are hurting. Tell me what the fuck is going on.”

“It’s phantom pains,” Demo explained. “The nerves were damaged by the bullet. The doctors repaired what they could, but it will likely always be there.”

“Meaning what?”

“Meaning that the body is a remarkable thing,” Demo mocked the doctor’s explanation. “It can remember an injury long after it’s healed.”

“Can they do anything, give you anything?”

“I’m not getting hooked on drugs,” Demo snapped. He pulled his hand away from his shoulder, even though he hadn’t actually stopped the pain. Sometimes, when it got too bad, he would ram his shoulder into a door frame. It would hurt like hell, but it made the throbbing go away faster.

‘Remarkable thing’, my ass , Demo thought cynically.

“Come on,” Demo encouraged, starting to follow behind Steel. “Let’s get you back to your kid.”

He heard Pumpkin’s footfalls in the snow trailing after him. “I’m only letting you change the subject because I do want to get back to my kid. But I still want to know what’s going on with you.”

Demo said nothing. The doctors said the pain would eventually go away. His body just had to remember he wasn’t currently shot. The nerves would settle. At least, that’s what the doctors claimed anyway. Until then, he just needed to grin and bear it.

He could handle the pain.