18. In The Bath

Demi

I foughtthe urge to cry. I needed to tell Max about my wolf, but I felt too exposed. It didn't help that I was naked and wet.

"What does that mean?" Max asked softly.

My body went stiff as the intense urge to snuggle up in my bed gripped me. It was such a fierce desire, like nothing I had ever felt before. Unable to ignore it, I shifted and stood, making the water slosh. The yellow towel on the counter was especially puffy, obviously one of Calia's. Despite telling me that she believed I wasn't an omega, it was clear she knew I was. She had brought me nesting materials, fresh omega-made towels, and I was sure my wardrobe had a few new dresses.

"Demi?" Max said my name, as water splattered against the hardwood floors.

Ignoring him, I rushed back to my room.

My bed was waiting for me, the soft blankets illuminated in the dim light of the lantern. Just the sight of it made the tension in my chest ease. Flinging the towel away, I snuggled in the center, finally able to breathe.

I never understood an omega's obsession with their nests, but it all suddenly made sense. It was my safe space. The scent was perfect, and the fabric was lush. Nothing could hurt me here.

"Demi?" Max stepped into my room. "Are you okay?" His deep voice cocooned the room, making my head spin and my heart flutter. He looked so intense with his full naked form consuming my doorway. Thick muscle and deep scars. Max was a beast in any form.

But then the images from my dreams slammed into me. I don't want an omega.

Max had said that to me long before I took that potion. We stood outside the dining room, listening to Davon ravage his mate. Max kissed me gently, then he said, "I don't want an omega."

They were the same words that haunted my dreams.

"Please, talk to me." Max shut my bedroom door behind him.

I turned to the alpha, prepared to confess, but Max's impressive figure made me freeze up. He was completely naked, dripping water down his cut abs and into the V at his hips. His cock was limp, but long, swaying between his thighs.

"Tell me what's wrong," he said.

"I'm an omega." My stomach clenched as I waited for the alpha to respond.

Max"s expression was kind and understanding as he knelt next to my bed. I was relieved he didn't try to sit in it. Not that I wouldn't invite him in, but I couldn"t stand the thought of him just plopping down next to me without asking.

"We don't know that you"re an omega," Max said softly. "Johns still has a lot of tests to run." He glanced out the window behind me, and I knew he was looking for the full Moon. "I'm sure he'll be here soon. Once he sees your wolf, we'll know more."

"Johns isn't coming." I readied myself to share my deepest shame.

"Why?" Max tilted his head to one side, not understanding.

"Because I can't shift." It hurt when I told Calia, but telling Max felt like falling on a blade. A beta that couldn"t shift was the worst kind of creature. We didn't have the allure of an omega, the strength of an alpha, or the ability to be fully connected with our beasts.

"You can't shift?" Max's brows jerked together, as he reached for me, circling his big hands around my wrists. I liked it when he held me like that.

"The truth is, I've never been able to shift." I held my head high, trying like hell to sound unaffected by the fact. "After I presented as a beta, my mother kept waiting for my beast to take hold, but she never did."

"Okay," Max said. "So you are an omega." But it wasn't a question.

I waited for him to say something else, but he stared past me with unfocused eyes, thinking. The silence drug on, pulsing in my ears. It was agony waiting for him to say something. Anything. That he was disappointed. That he hated me. That he was done.

I don't want an omega.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, unable to take the silence anymore.

"Honestly? I'm trying to sort it all out." Max looked right at me. His good eye was dark and focused, and his white one faintly glowed red. Was his wolf conflicted on whether to keep me or not?

"Like what?" I readied myself for what he was about to say.

I don't want an omega.

"Whatever it is." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Tell me."

Max's gaze fell to my lap and he let out a heavy sigh. "I'm wondering how quickly we should mate. I know it's best to mate omegas during their heat, but with your advanced age, it might be dangerous to wait." The word "mate" cut straight to my wolf, making her sit up straight, but all I could hear was the apprehension in his voice. But instead of telling the alpha that I was scared that he only wanted to mate me to save me from death, I decided to pick a fight instead.

"Advanced age?" I snipped, making my displeasure with his choice of words known. "I'm only thirty years old." I leaned back, pulling my hands away from him. "I'm the same age as you." I crossed my arms. "Do you consider yourself to be too old to function?"

Max's expression shifted from scared to shocked. "Alphas live longer and mate later in life," he said matter-of-factly. "Omegas need mates, not only to be protected and cared for, but to keep them alive," he said pointedly. "It's a fact that omegas don't live to be thirty without being mated."

Rage burned through me, but I didn't know what upset me more. The fact that he was acting like I was a bomb waiting to explode, or that he couldn't even tell me that he was okay with my new…condition.

Did he even love me?

"So you've decided you're going to mate me?" I pulled at the blanket around me, covering my exposed body. "Just like that? No discussion?" My wolf begged me to be more respectful, but I couldn't control it. It was almost impossible to sort out the emotions slamming around in my head. "You just want me to do whatever you decide?"

"Do you want to die?" Max asked way too forcefully.

"I want a choice." My voice rose, heat spreading across my face. My anger was a cyclone growing bigger and stronger with each passing second.

Max shook his head, looking at me with so much confusion. "I have no idea why we're fighting. I simply want what's best for you."

"We're fighting because you don't want an omega." My wolf went quiet, giving up as I continued to yell. "You even said it yourself. Omegas are unpredictable and too emotional. You said you'd never be with one."

"When did I say that?" Max's voice edged higher with frustration, but all his question did was make me want to cry. He couldn't even remember the devastating moment that had consumed my dreams.

I don't want an omega.

"It doesn't matter," I forced the words out through gritted teeth. "I don't need you to mate me out of pity."

"Pity?" Max's brows shot up, and his fists curled tight. "You are out of control right now. You need to calm down." He wasn't commanding me, but he could. And that's all that mattered. "Think clearly, Demi. Think about what's best for you."

The urge to attack the alpha ripped through me. I wanted to hit and scratch and hiss and bite. It was a desire I had never felt before, and it scared me.

"I can't do this." My voice was shaky, tears burning the back of my eyes. "I can't be in here with you." Holding the blanket tight around my middle, I jumped up, rushing past Max, through the dark hallway and into the little sitting room.

"Demetria!" Max yelled, following me. He sounded so angry. "Where are you going?"

Realization slammed into me, and I froze. "I'm going nowhere." I balled up my fists, wanting so badly to scream the roof down. "Because I'm an omega," I gritted out as wave after wave of thick emotion washed over me. Tears clung to my lashes and my face burned hot. "I'm not allowed to leave my house after dark," my voice rose, "or walk in the town square alone, or leave this fucking village!"

"Calm down!" Max demanded, and something in my body flipped.

It was as if all the rage had settled, and my mind went still and silent. My breath evened out, and my fists uncurled. I hated it. I was mindless. A vessel for this alpha—or any other—to command and control.

A whole new level of despair set in, and hot tears fell down my cheeks.

"Demi, I know this is a lot to take in," Max said as he cupped my cheeks. His hands were so warm. I wanted to shove him away, but I couldn"t move. "All I am trying to say is that I want what's best for you. You need protection and?—"

"I don't need shit from you." I forced the words through my clenched jaw. "I've been taking care of myself since I was fifteen. I don't need an alpha to save my life."

Max's hand fell away as confusion settled between his brows. "What are you saying right now?" His eyes flashed red. He was so clearly angry, but his voice was even. Calm. I hated him for it.

Slowly, some of my senses returned, and I was able to take a small step back. "I want you to leave," I said, desperately wanting to be the one that left. But I couldn"t. If a guard came across me, I'd be scolded and brought right back home. I was trapped.

"Just yesterday you were happy to be mine," Max said. There was so much emotion in his eyes. "What happened?"

I couldn't find my words. All reason had left me, replaced by anger, rejection, fear, and sorrow. "Please." I walked to the front door, pulling it open. "Get out."