15. Deirdre

15

DEIRDRE

Divorce minus 36 days

" W e should take Aaron to the county fair outside of Madison tomorrow," Dean said, when he sat down across from Deirdre at Gran's Grits. Aaron was strapped into a highchair, playing with crayons, but not really drawing with them. He was keeping up a high-speed conversation of random syllables, occasionally throwing a crayon so that someone had to get it for him.

"Together?" Deirdre flashed a look around the diner. They met once a week out in public, to play out a careful role of maturity and present a unified front, in addition to all the other times they ran into each other.

"Would you rather take him alone and sugar him up single-handedly? I'm going to have to go anyway to do things with the fire department in the morning, we might as well go together and then I won't have to pretend to save people from drowning while they bob for apples all night. It will simplify the car custody, too. "

Deirdre laughed, picking up another crayon. "Yeah, okay, point. If you're offering to help, I'll take it."

"You'll be doing me a huge favor," Dean told her. "Gillian has been at the shop every day this week buying something insignificant and making eyes at me."

Gillian didn't care that their divorce wasn't final…or that she herself was actually married. "Happy to help," Deirdre said with a chuckle.

"How's Bingo doing?"

"The cast is off now and it's hard to keep him from jumping and playing, but he and Aaron get along famously."

"Doggy!" Aaron offered. "Mine! Doggy!"

"I feel bad for saddling you with him."

"It's temporary, and he's really a good dog. I mean, he's as dumb as rocks, but he tries hard and wants to please."

"The perfect boyfriend!" Dean said, and they both laughed awkwardly and looked at the places on their hands where their rings had been.

Patricia came to take their order, carefully keeping their conversation topics merely to the menu. She was clear about staying neutral in the perceived rift between Dean and Deirdre.

"How is Juan doing?" Dean asked blandly after Patricia left with their choices.

"He's doing well. He's working two part-time jobs on top of the internship," Deirdre said just as mildly. "He's still looking for a house, but the market is pretty tight right now."

"That will be easier with two of you on the mortgage," Dean said.

"Which can't happen until we're…"

"Officially divorced."

Aaron decided that it would be more fun to tip all his crayons off his tray at once, and both Dean and Deirdre scrambled to pick them up as Patricia returned with their drinks.

They toasted with their plastic diner glasses. "To divorce," Dean said wryly.

"To divorce," Deirdre agreed.

Divorce minus 35 days

D eirdre woke up unreasonably excited for the fair and wasn't exactly sure why. It was a glorious day, hot and muggy in one of the last summer days clinging to the calendar before fall took over. There were hayrides and carnival games, a petting zoo with young goats and rabbits, a livestock competition, horse shows, and even a few mellow rides.

Dean did a demonstration with the fire department, and Deirdre was proud of how handsome he looked in his turnout gear, walking around with Aaron on one shoulder.

But some part of her was looking for something, and she didn't realize what it was until she actually saw him.

She hadn't been sure she would recognize Juan on sight, and she certainly wasn't expecting to see him here. It had been months since they last saw each other, and she'd been trying very hard not to stare at him when he came to dinner. Now she knew she would recognize him anywhere, after any length of time, and her whole body came alive.

He was standing at the cider booth looking at the options. Someone had gone over the top with the marketing and they had seven flavors of cider, cider-flavored coffee, and cider-cured beef jerky.

Juan turned away from the counter as Deirdre realized she was leading Dean and Aaron straight for him, and she didn't notice when they dropped away.

They didn't say anything when they met, simply stopped and stared at each other. Deirdre knew that she was grinning foolishly, and the expression was mirrored on Juan's face.

"Juan." Deirdre had a flash of jealousy when Dean stepped forward and casually shook his hand. She didn't dare touch him herself, not sure what she would do, and she kept her hands behind her carefully.

Juan didn't offer her his hand. "Dean. Aaron. Deirdre. I was in Madison and saw the signs. I didn't want to miss my chance at cider-cured jerky."

"We didn't arrange this," Deirdre added.

"I didn't think you had," Dean said easily. "It's fine. It's truly fine. Why don't I take Aaron through the corn maze? You guys can get a cider and have a moment."

"Just a second. Dean…" Deirdre drew him aside, putting other people between them so that only he could hear her. "We said we'd wait, Dean."

Dean shrugged. "I know, but some things happen like they're supposed to. Go hang out with your mate for a little while. Show him where the cheese curds are, and the best cider."

"Dean, you've been amazing. This is a huge, awful mess and I want you to remember that I know what you've done for us and how much I appreciate it."

He smiled, and it was a familiar, sincere smile, with a promising hint of their old easiness. "I love you, Deer-deer," he said softly. "I always will."

"I'll always love you, too," Deirdre said, stepping forward to put her arms around Dean and Aaron, who patted her cheek as she embraced them.

"Go be with your mate for a little while," Dean told her, kissing the top of her head in a familiar fashion, like a big brother or a best friend. "I got the kid." He bounced Aaron in his arms as Deirdre stepped gratefully back. "C'mon, cub! Let's go get lost in the corn for a bit! There might be monsters in there, will you be scared?"

Aaron's eyes got big, but he bravely shook his head. He waved over Dean's shoulder as they headed for the maze.

Juan was still by the apple cider booth and Deirdre knew she was doing a very bad job of not staring at him as she wove through the crowd to get back to him.

In fact, she was doing such a bad job of it that she ran directly into a portly figure with a loose gray toupee balanced on top of his balding head.

"Mrs. James!"

Deirdre winced. "Pastor John…"

"It's good to see you here with your family today," he said pointedly. "I'm so happy the two of you are working things out."

"Oh, no, it's just that…" Deirdre glanced helplessly past him at Juan, who raised an eyebrow at her. She smiled wanly but didn't want to accidentally summon him to come save her. How would she introduce him? This is Juan, the man who wrecked the marriage you're trying so hard to patch up!

"I hope we'll see you at church sometime soon," the pastor said magnanimously. "Our doors are always open for lost sheep."

What about deer? Deirdre almost asked. What about jaguars? "That's kind of you," she said faintly.

"Bring that little boy of yours," Pastor John said firmly. "It's not too soon to learn the word of God, and…"

"Deirdre! How lovely to see you!"

"Hello, Minister Dave," Deirdre said weakly. "It's good to see you, too. "

"We keep hoping to see you and Dean and your darling little boy at our church one of these Sundays."

Pastor John glared at his rival. "She was just saying she was planning to attend our services some Sunday soon."

"We'll have to see what the weekend brings," Deirdre said, backing away from both of them. "I'm just going to… ah…" She waited for a moment where they were glaring at each other and dashed through the crowd in the direction she'd last seen Juan.

He wasn't there and Deirdre stood forlornly where he'd been, trying to guess which way he had gone. Dean could track people down with his bear's sense of smell, which had always been very annoying when they were playing hide and seek as children, but Deirdre's keen hearing was no help in a busy place like a country fair.

"Pssst!"

Or maybe it was.

Between the booths was a little alley that led to a private area behind the tents. Lawn chairs and cigarette butts suggested that this was where the carnies took their breaks, but no one was there now. No one but Juan.

"Deirdre." Juan's voice sounded different in person than it did on the phone. Even though he spoke quietly, Deirdre could hear the layers of emotion in it. "You looked like you needed a place to get away."

"Wow, did I!" Deirdre admitted. "My hero. "

They were idiots, grinning at each other, still not quite daring to touch, nothing to say to each other after months of wordy texts and lengthy emails and handwritten novels.

"This could not be more awkward," Juan finally said.

"We could try," Deirdre said. "Or we could go get Aaron. He is masterful at making things even more uncomfortable. "

Juan laughed. "I'm happy just to have you for a moment. All to myself."

Deirdre shyly offered him her hands and he took them in his.

It was the first time they'd touched, and Deirdre drank up the contact like an electrical current charging the battery of her heart as they continued to smile foolishly at each other.

"Is your jaguar as happy as my deer?"

"It's like Christmas in my head," Juan said. "Do you think we could just shift and run away into the corn field for a while?"

"What about our clothes?" Deirdre giggled.

"What about them?"

"We'd have to come back for them. Unless you plan to drive home nude."

Juan's eyebrows creased. "Don't you take them with you?"

"In my mouth? Despite what Dean may or may not have told you, my mouth isn't that big."

"On your body, of course" Juan said, looking skeptical, like he thought Deirdre was teasing him.

Deirdre realized that he was serious. "Wait, you can shift your clothes with you?"

"Can't you?"

"No, which let me tell you, led to some pretty embarrassing moments of nudity at inconvenient times."

"I can imagine!"

"And I had no idea that shifters could take clothing with them! But wait, why are you in Madison?"

"I came here to look for houses."

"In Madison? What about your dream job in Milwaukee?"

"It was an entry level dream job," Juan said in an off- handed way that didn't fool Deirdre for a moment. "It would have taken an entire year to work up to a level with benefits. But there was a position at the university in Madison that they needed someone for right away, and the job has health care and free tuition. For… family ."

Deirdre blinked, not sure what he was saying.

"I wanted you to be able to stay close to Aaron. The commute from Green Valley to Madison is a lot different than the drive to Milwaukee."

"Are you asking me to marry you?"

"I was going to wait until you were actually divorced," Juan said sheepishly. "I wasn't even going to mention it until then."

Juan.

The one.

Her mate.

"Yes!" Deirdre said. "Yes, I'll marry you!"

Deirdre had never kissed anyone but Dean. He'd been her first kiss, her first everything, and she was buzzing with excitement by the time Juan's lips touched hers.

Mate , her deer sighed in her head.

It was more than just the novelty of a different person, this was her soulmate: the man she'd instantly recognized as someone meant for her, the man she'd slowly fallen for over emails and phone calls and painstaking letters, the dazzlingly handsome, clever, strong, sexy man who thrilled her body more than she had ever imagined possible.

It was like being caught up in an ocean wave. There was no resisting the pull, and Deirdre didn't want to, hungry for his mouth and his touch.