Chapter 17

Seventeen

"Stay right there," I say as I prop Nikita up against the door.

A drunk Nikita giggles as I pull out my keys to unlock the apartment door.

I did not expect to come back to Callum's house and find a living room full of drunk women. At least, not my woman. I have never seen Nikita so carefree. I stood outside the room, watching them for a moment before I went in. I liked seeing the smile on her face.

When she saw me and said my name all soft and husky, I knew I was in trouble. The girl had her sights on me, but there was no way I could take advantage of her like this. Besides, wooing usually happened slowly. That means my dick needs to get the memo and sit the fuck down. Not that he's listening.

"I am standing. See!" She holds her arms out, swaying.

I swing the door open and grab her by the arm, pulling her to my chest. "Good job. Now in we go."

Nikita grabs onto my arm and squeezes. "Such fine muscles you have."

I chuckle under my breath. "Thanks. Now how about you go sit on the couch while I get you some water."

Nikita lets go of me and spins. She starts to lose balance, but I reach out and catch her, pulling her back to my front. Her ass is nestled against my crotch, but I don't think she notices.

"Be careful," I whisper into her ear, my eyes closing at the smell of her shampoo.

Fuck, coconut has never smelled better to me.

Nikita glances over her shoulder at me, batting her eyes at me, or at least I think that's what she tries to do. "My hero. Always trying to save me."

I shake my head at her antics. This is a wide-open Nikita that I've never seen before. I want to dive into her and learn everything I can, but knowing she won't remember any of this has me holding back.

Instead, I keep my hands on her hips as I walk her over to the couch and help her sit down before heading into the kitchen. After filling up a glass of water, I grab a bottle of Tylenol I keep in the junk drawer. I don't know how much she's drank, but I'd almost guarantee that she's going to be hurting in the morning.

"Here, take these," I tell her as I kneel in front of her, holding out the pills and water.

Nikita gasps dramatically. "Are you trying to drug me to take advantage of me?"

I scoff. "Of course not. I'm trying to prevent you from having a hangover tomorrow."

Her face falls. "That's too bad."

God, I hate seeing the joy fall from her face. Still, I would never take advantage of a woman. Even if it kills me to tell her no.

"Why do you say that?" I find myself asking.

"Because I think I would like it if you took advantage of me. Drunk or sober." She shrugs.

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I don't know how to respond to that. She has been brazen since she admitted she wanted a baby, but this is the first time she has really voiced it.

Nikita continues to ramble and waves her hand toward me. "I mean, have you looked at you? You're hot. My husband is hot…" She pauses dramatically. "But you won't let me feel the heat. Instead, I'm stuck trying to get myself off while thinking about you. It's really not fair. Hell, I'm pretty sure having hot, dirty sex is a requirement to a marriage, yet you haven't made a move or noticed that I'm trying to get your attention."

She is pouting, and it is cute as fuck. I used to make fun of guys for giving in to their women when they pout, but seeing it on my woman has me ready to pounce.

Only I can't. If I do that now, it would go against all of my morals. Besides, this isn't part of the plan. I need to romance her. Fucking her doesn't give off the vibe I want.

"Hot, dirty sex?" I choke out. "And who says you haven't gotten my attention?"

"If I had your attention, we would have already gotten naked and had sex," she deadpans.

I chuckle. "I didn't think you liked me. Now take the Tylenol."

Nikita takes a sip of the water and takes the pills. "There, are you happy?"

"Very." I lean in, brushing my thumb across her bottom lip to capture a little water that has escaped.

Before I can bring it back to my mouth to taste it, her tongue sneaks out, lapping at the skin.

My dick twitches in my pants, reminding me that it is confined and very uncomfortable. Pretty sure the zipper is digging into my skin.

"Now, where were we?" Her eyebrows furrow.

"I had said I didn't think you liked me," I tease her.

I really didn't think she liked me, but this side of Nikita is different from the others I have seen. It's like she's a chameleon, changing to meet her environment. It's impressive, but also a little discouraging. How do I know this Nikita is her true desire? Is this all an act?

If it is, it doesn't matter. I'm going to get under her skin as much as she has gotten under mine. I am going to make her want me for real.

Callum mentioned love. I don't know if I can love someone, but I'm willing to give everything I can to this woman. I will be the best husband I can to my wife. A real husband.

I only need to convince her of that now.

That means listening to her drunk ramble as my dick weeps in my pants.

Nikita scoffs and crosses her arms as she leans back onto the couch. "Men. So blind. I didn't like you at first because I never thought I could like anyone. I have always been a pawn, and coming here was no different. Saving my virginity was the only leverage I had. It was nothing personal. You don't know what it's like not having any say over your life and always being watched." She shakes her head. "It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with my situation. None of that matters now. You took my virginity, so now I'm free. Well, as free as I can be."

I hum. I guess I had never thought of it like that, but it makes sense. She was forced to come to a new country and into a prison. A luxury one in the form of an apartment, but a prison nonetheless. She had been taught that life isn't kind. She knows more of the darkness than most women in this life know. Could that be why she turned me down so quickly at first?

I'm grateful for it, though. Had she given in, she would've likely just been some woman I fucked, not what she is now.

Then again, maybe it would have kick-started this whole obsession I have with her. Maybe this marriage would have always been real.

"Seriously, though, I don't know if I can read one more mindless article about how to try to get you to notice me. The girls tonight said that it will happen when it happens, but I don't like waiting. I have zero patience when it comes to you."

My eyebrows shoot up. "You talked about me?"

"Duh," Nikita deadpans. "That's what you do at girls' night. You eat, drink, and talk about boys."

"Huh." I rub my chin.

I had no idea what women did at those things. I've never really wanted to know. Now I wish I had set up surveillance. I wonder if Callum would be pissed if I grabbed the footage from his surveillance. It might just be worth his wrath.

"I mean, you really can't be that surprised," she mumbles, her eyes growing heavier.

I am surprised, but I won't tell her that. Not that they were talking about men. I could see the others having a gossip session, but knowing Nikita confided in them? Part of me is hurt that she opened up to them first, but the other part is glad for it. The ice princess is slowly starting to warm up, and I'm here for it. This change is a pleasant surprise.

Is she really changing, or is she just finally letting herself be who she really is?

"It's a shame, though." She shakes her head.

"What is?"

"That you don't think I'm attractive."

"Who said I don't."

"You."

I jerk back. Have I said that? "When did I say that?"

"Well, you might not have actually said the words, but you've never complimented me and you go out of your way to hardly look my way and it's okay, it just sucks for me. I was hoping you'd look back earlier, but you never did."

My mind is whirling. She wanted me to look back at her? Fuck, I wanted to, but I knew if I did, my lust would be written all over my face. Even in her simple outfit, I wanted her.

Taking a deep breath, I realize how much I've fucked up. My wife doesn't think I want her, and that's not okay.

"You're beautiful, you know that, right?" I lean in, brushing her cheek with the back of my hand.

Nikita shrugs. "You're just saying that to make me feel good."

I feel my heart drop. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it. I don't waste words."

"If you believed it, you would say it without me forcing your hand," she sasses back.

Jesus. Have I really fucked up that bad? Does she not realize that she drives me fucking crazy? That waking up and arguing with her is the highlight of my day?

"I'm tired," she says as her eyes droop even more.

This isn't a conversation for now. She's told me what I've done wrong. Now it's up to me to fix it.

I hold out my hand. "Come on, let's get you into bed."

"I need my knife."

I frown at the change in topic. "Why do you need a knife?"

"To protect myself while I sleep," she says, as if sleeping with a knife is an everyday occurrence.

Jesus Christ, no wonder she stabbed me. "You don't need a knife anymore. I'll protect you."

A little crease forms between her brows. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, now come on," I say as I wiggle my fingers.

She slips her hand into mine and stands. "You know what I hate?"

She leans into me, letting me take on most of her weight. She's vulnerable right now, and yet she gravitates toward me. She feels safe with me.

"What?" I manage with a thickness in my throat.

"Sleeping alone," she murmurs.

I shut my eyes as regret hits me.

Shit, how did I not notice the signs of a woman who's starved for attention and love? I feel like a fucking idiot. With what I know of her family, I should have seen it.

She might have asked me for a baby, but that's not all she wants. It makes me wonder if she only asked for that because she wanted someone to dote on. Someone to share affection with.

My marriage is broken, but it's not damaged beyond repair. If she wants a husband who shows affection easily, then that's what she will get. I will channel my very best Tristano, and give her all the affection she can handle. Then, maybe, just maybe, she will like me for real. She won't think of me as the negligent asshole she obviously thinks I am.

"Come on." I press a kiss to the top of her head, letting the subject drop.

I pull her down the hall, into the bedroom, and into the bathroom. Nikita leans heavily on the sink while I get both of our toothbrushes ready. As Nikita brushes her teeth, she stares at my profile while I stare at her in the mirror. For some reason, I can't look away. When we're done, she starts washing her face, or tries to.

"Here. Let me help." I step forward and take the wet washcloth from her hand.

Nikita's eyes flutter shut, and she leans her body into mine as I clean the soap off her face. Such a simple act feels intimate in a way I can't explain.

"There. Do you need to do anything else?" I rasp, my heart racing.

Nikita shakes her head.

I'm dying to kiss her lips again, but I can't. Not when she's drunk. So instead, I press one to her forehead.

Reaching down, I take her hand. Nikita looks down at our hands, like she doesn't know what to think about the simple action. I pull her into the bedroom and pull back the covers on the side of the bed I know she favors.

"Get in."

Nikita lets go of my hand and reaches for the hem of her shirt. She pulls it over her head and drops it on the floor.

My breath catches when she reaches behind her.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking off my clothes to sleep."

"You're going to sleep naked?" I ask, my mouth feeling like I've sucked on cotton.

"Of course. Don't you?" she asks as she unclasps her bra.

Thank God she's drunk because my eyes drop down to her breasts. God, they look delicious. I bite my lip and shove my hands into my pockets to stop myself from grabbing her and pulling her into me. Shit, I would love nothing more than to suck on her nipples. Could I get her off on nipple play alone? I would love to fucking try. I want to tease her over and over until she's begging for release.

While I'm too busy thinking about playing with her breasts, Nikita loses her jeans, her panties tangled up in them. My eyes drop again to her ass as she brushes past me and crawls into bed.

Nikita sighs as her head hits the pillow and pulls the covers over her.

"Sleep tight," I grit out, moving to the door.

Fuck, a cold shower will do nothing to calm my cock down. I'm going to have to jerk off in the living room, and I don't even think that will do it.

"Hey, Dec?"

I pause, squeezing my eyes shut. "Yeah."

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

Her words echo the ones she spoke to me the night she was attacked in her home. The same home across the hall that has been fixed up, yet will never house her again. I really need to get the rest of her things over here.

I'm walking back to her before she even finishes asking the question. I hiss as I settle on the bed. My dick is fighting to break through the zipper of my pants and it's fucking brutal, but I need the pain right now to keep myself in check.

She's drunk. She's drunk. She's drunk.

"Thank you." She reaches out, her hand touching my thigh as she sighs.

I clench my fists to stop myself from touching her. "You're welcome."

Nikita sighs and mumbles something that sounds a lot like, "I wish every night could be like this."

My heart clenches in my throat.

Fuck, so do I.

While Nikita falls into a deep sleep, I stare up at the ceiling, wide awake. One thing is for sure: this space I've been giving Nikita needs to go. I thought I was doing the right thing, but all I have done is cause her more pain.

From this night on, I will be sleeping in this shitty double bed with my wife. She might change her mind by morning, but her drunken words were the honest truth. She can hide behind her mask all she wants, but I know what she needs now.

She needs a husband.

I'm going to court the fuck out of my wife starting tomorrow morning.

Groaning,I roll over. My head feels like a thousand tiny little men are dancing on my brain. God, when was the last time I drank that much? Usually I stop at one, maybe two, because I don't like being out of control. I know that when I drink, I start to become unaware of my surroundings which only leads to trouble. Especially knowing what could happen with my father.

Bad things happen when you aren't on guard.

I roll over onto my back and blink back the sleep. Shit, am I still drunk? What happened last night?

My mind starts replaying everything that I remember.

I went to Autumn's and had fun with her, Cleo, and Miya. While it might have started off a little awkward, I had a good time and can't wait to do it again. I remember Declan picking me up and taking me through the drive-thru of a taco place.

"You need to soak up some of that wine."

"Yes, daddy." I roll my eyes.

I cringe. God, did I really call him daddy? He didn't even respond to it. God, no wonder he doesn't want to fuck me. I'm a fucking mess. My mind struggles to remember the rest of the night.

Declan drives with one hand on the wheel and one on the gear shifter as I eat my tacos. He pulls up to a red light and looks over at me, eyebrow raised.

"What?" I ask with a mouth full of food.

"You realize you're moaning with every bite, right?"

"It's so good."

Declan shakes his head. "It's a mediocre taco at best, and you're moaning like it's the best thing to ever go in your mouth."

"Well, until you prove me wrong, it is," I fire back.

Declan's nostrils flare, and someone behind us honks.

"Behave," he rasps as he starts driving.

"But being good is so overrated."

Jesus, was I body snatched last night? My filter went right out the door. What happened to the strong, independent Nikita? She dissolved into some hussy who ignored every bit of advice we were given and tried to seduce our husband yet again.

I cringe as the rest of the night flashes in snippets.

I remember coming home and him helping me sit on the couch. Then he fed me Tylenol and water, which is sweet, even though with the way my head is pounding, I would say it's safe to say it didn't work.

What happened after that…

The air kicks on and makes me shiver. Shit, am I naked? I grab the blankets and peek underneath. Yep, I'm as naked as the day I was born.

Oh fuck.

I told Declan that I thought he didn't think I was attractive and admitted that I wanted him.

Whimpering, I roll over on my stomach and bury my head into the pillow.

I wonder if I can suffocate myself with the pillow so I don't have to face him ever again. Talk about embarrassing.

I'm never drinking again.

Which will be easy because I'll be dead.

I hear the door open and tense.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, he will leave.

Declan chuckles. "You know you said that out loud, right?"

I roll over onto my side and glare. Of course he looks well rested and like he got a full night's sleep.

"You could be a gentleman and pretend you didn't hear that."

Declan rolls his eyes. He leans against the doorframe and crosses his arms over his chest.

My eyes widen. "D-did I compliment your arms last night?"

Declan smirks as he flexes. "You did."

"Give me a swift death," I plead.

Declan's chuckle makes my head pound, making me cringe.

He frowns. "Head hurt?"

"Just a little. I'm sorry, I usually don't drink that much."

"Why are you apologizing?" he asks as he moves toward the en suite bathroom.

I hear him rummaging around before he comes back with two white pills in his hand. He hands them to me, picking up the bottle of water from the nightstand to open and hold out for me as well.

I take the pills, glad for the thought.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. You didn't answer my question." He sits on the edge of the bed next to me.

My body heats at having him so close with me naked underneath the sheets. My nipples are pebbled, even with the ache in my head.

"Because you had to take care of me, and that's not your job. Besides, I probably embarrassed you in front of people who mean a lot to you," I admit softly.

Declan studies me for a minute, making me squirm.

Shit, I'm naked, and he's right there. If he were to pull the sheet down, he would be able to see every part of me.

Declan must read my mind because his eyes heat as they drop to the sheet. My breasts feel heavy, and I fight the urge to squirm under his gaze. Goddamn, with just a simple look, he lights me on fire.

He shakes his head and clears his throat. "You didn't embarrass me, and as your husband, it's my job to take care of you."

I shake my head. Clearly, I heard him wrong.

"You didn't."

I flinch. "I really have to stop saying what I'm thinking out loud."

"I don't know. I like knowing what's running through your head." He smirks at me.

I shoot him a look that says he's full of shit.

"Anyway, do you need something?"

Declan looks nervous as he straightens up, brushing his hands down his legs. "I want to take you on a date."

"Me?" I ask, pointing at my chest.

"You."

I open my mouth to say something, but I can't. I'm at a loss for words.

"Don't overthink it, Nikita. Just say yes. Really, I'm not asking. I'm taking you on a date."

"But I overthink everything," I murmur.

Declan smiles. "I know. Which is why I changed my mind. You don't get a choice."

"Why do you want to take me out now?" I ask.

He's quiet a moment as he mulls over his thoughts.

"After you fell asleep last night, I realized you were right. I'm doing us both a disservice by not giving this a shot." He looks away for a moment before looking back at me. "I want to get to know my wife, and a date is just the first step to doing that."

"Y-you're serious?" I stutter.

My heart is beating a million miles a minute as I process his words. I want this, but I'm almost afraid to hope for it.

"Yes. Now say yes. Make me feel like I gave you a choice." He has a little half-smile as he stares at me.

"Yes," I breathe out.

Declan's eyes flare. "Good girl. I'll set everything up and get back to you."

"Okay."

Declan looks down at his watch. "I'm sorry, but I have to go to work. Do you need anything before I leave?"

I shake my head as I try to register what's happening. "I'm good."

"All right. I'll see you when I get home. Have a good day."

He leans in, kissing my forehead, making my skin burn at the contact. Before I can lean in closer, he's standing.

"You too."

My eyes fall to Declan's ass as he turns and starts to walk away.

"Do I need to back up, or did you get a good enough look?" he calls out when he steps out of view.

I totally missed him looking back at me and got caught. Damn it.

I feel my cheeks heat as embarrassment swallows me whole. "Bye Declan!"

His laughter rings out through the apartment.

"Bye, wifey," he calls out, making me freeze.

Wifey. That's a fun term of endearment. One a man uses when he is feeling playful.

My heart stutters at the thought.

When I hear the front door click shut, I roll onto my stomach and squeal in excitement.

He asked me out.

I have a date with Declan.

He called me wifey.

I don't know what happened last night or what changed his mind, but I'll take it.

I have never felt excitement like this before. Being with Declan is slowly changing me. It's bringing me out of the shelter I've hidden in for so long. I'm not mad about it, though. For once in my life, I feel alive.

I smile to myself as I let my new reality set in.

I have a fucking date with my husband!

Finally!

Oh god, what will I wear?