Chapter 24

Twenty-Four

Winter break reminder! Don’t leave your homework until the last minute on break. If there’s something you need to do, do it today!

MERRY

Athena understandably had her phone camera trained on Cara’s gobsmacked face, but I was certain my own reaction was equally film-worthy. In the span of three seconds, I’d gone from shocked to a flicker of hope to shocked again to…what I wasn’t quite sure, only that the flicker was gone.

Nolan’s brother Craig looked like a taller, buffer, older version of Nolan—short dark hair with a few gray strands, pale skin, and light-brown eyes locked on his wife.

“Tell me you’re real.” Cara bit her lip as she stood up. She looked on the verge of tears, as were most of the onlookers. Around the room, other tearful reunions were taking place, enough camera flashes going off to make the place look like a disco ball had descended.

“I’m real.” Craig swept her into a hug. “And you look beautiful.”

“I was going for hot.” She pretended to be offended for a quick moment, then claimed him for a kiss that had everyone nearby whooping and hollering. All the commotion woke the baby from his nap in the stroller. Nolan swept him up before he could fuss too loudly and passed him to Cara when she and Craig broke for air.

“This is our son.” She started crying all over again as she held out the baby to Craig. “Meet Noah Craig.”

And now Craig was openly weeping. Those Bell brothers did like to wear their hearts on their sleeves.

“Oh my God, Cara, he’s beautiful.” Craig gazed down at the baby with awe-filled eyes. “You did such a good job.”

“We all did.” Cara beamed as she gathered both girls close before pointing at Nolan. “And I couldn’t have done it without Nolan.”

Still holding the baby, Craig gave Nolan an awkward one-armed hug. “Thanks for everything, bro.”

Closure. A blanket of sadness was what had replaced the flicker of hope. The reunion scene unfolding at the community center was nothing short of heartwarming, the sort of military homecoming likely to go viral in a matter of hours. I should be over-the-moon happy for all involved, yet I couldn’t help the giant wave of disappointment washing over me.

I had no business letting it tow me under either. Nothing had changed from a few hours earlier. Nolan was still leaving, along with my heart.

“Nolan, introduce Merry.” Cara pointed at me. “Merry is Nolan’s?—”

“Friend.” I better get used to saying it. I stuck out a hand for Craig to shake while next to me, Nolan looked utterly crushed. Damn it, I hadn’t wanted to hurt him, but we both needed a healthy dose of reality.

“It’s almost midnight!” the DJ bellowed. “Everyone grab a noisemaker, and we better see some more kisses too!”

“Can I get a friendly New Year’s Eve kiss?” Nolan wore an epic pout as the countdown started.

“Ten, nine…”

“I’m sorry.” I pulled him to me, unable to send him into the new year so upset. “And yes. There’s no one I’d rather kiss.”

“Happy New Year!” Noise exploded all around us as people cheered.

I pulled Nolan in for what my brain knew was one last kiss, but my heart refused to believe it. Mindful we were in public, I pressed my closed lips softly to his, but when he let out a little pleased gasp, all bets were off. I kissed him like I never wanted to stop, like the sun could come up in a few hours and we’d still be kissing. I kissed him so hard there was no way he wouldn’t taste me all the way back to New York.

“You’re tearing up again.” Frowning, Nolan pulled away to swipe at my cheeks. He also looked dangerously close to tears.

“I can’t help it. Sorry.” I seemed to be saying a ton of sorry, but I wasn’t sure how else to express my inner devastation and how much more awful it felt knowing he was in the same boat as me. “What can I say? I’m going to miss you.”

“But you don’t have to.” Nolan grabbed my hand, leading me away from the noise and chaos to one of the benches in the adjacent courtyard. “I told you Principal Alana offered me a chance to stay, or did you miss that piece of news with the troops arriving home?”

“I heard you.” Voice flat, I sank down on the bench, gazing up at him with bleak eyes. “You can’t take the job, Nolan.”

“Why ever not?” Nolan delivered the line with such sincerity I almost believed him. Almost.

“Craig’s back.” I stated the obvious. “Your main reason for being here is done.”

Crouching in front of me, Nolan glared into my eyes. “I’m staring right at my new main reason for staying to see the school year out.”

“No.” I sighed heavily, knowing these next few moments were likely to weigh on my soul forever, but I had to do the right thing for us both. “I can’t take the risk of you staying and being miserable.”

“ You can’t take the risk?” Nolan sounded not unlike an angry owl as he came to perch next to me. “I’m the one doing the staying. What you mean is you are completely unwilling to risk your heart on someone who might leave.”

“You’re not wrong.” Even now, I couldn’t lie to him.

“Well, that’s rather cowardly.” Nolan’s expression was as earnest as his tone. “Why not give us a chance? We’ve only had a matter of weeks. If I stay for the rest of the school year, we can see if this thing is real. There’s already something worth fighting for here, Merry. And you know it.”

I went silent, clamping my mouth shut. I couldn’t lie to him, but I also couldn’t afford for him to win this argument only to turn bitter come spring. I couldn’t stomach the idea of getting any more attached, him becoming even more enmeshed in our lives and leaving anyway. No, it was better this way.

“That’s it?” Nolan made a rude noise. “You don’t want to see what we could become?”

“I know what we could become.” We’d be a parody of what we’d been all holiday season. We’d be fighting. Unhappy. Burdened by uneven sacrifices. All of that.

“Well, too bad.” Nolan abruptly stood up. “I’m going to take that job anyway, and you can’t stop me.”

“I won’t date you.” My voice wavered. Hell, even my vision flickered, intensifying my out-of-body sensation. Queue the ominous music because I was trapped in an alternate universe where I got exactly what I wanted yet couldn’t allow myself to have it.

“Fine. Don’t date me.” Nolan glared at me. “I’m still staying.”

“I’m not sure you’ve thought this through. Like at all.”

“Oh, I’ve thought it all through. You’re too worried about things going wrong to let them go right. There’s not a chance in hell you’ll be the one to ask me to stay. And goodness knows you won’t be chasing me back to New York. So I’m simply going to plant my butt in the sand and stay until you come to your senses and give us the chance we deserve.”

“Nolan.” My eyes stung and my throat was as raw as if I’d swallowed broken shells. “Don’t do this. What if the part of a lifetime comes along, and you miss it because you’re here?”

“What if it already has?” he countered, raising a possibility I absolutely refused to consider.

“Dad! Dad! Ryder is throwing up.” Legend came rushing into the courtyard.

“For real throwing up or New Year’s prank throwing up?” Nolan narrowed his eyes.

“For real.” Legend wrinkled his nose. “It’s pretty yuck. Athena got the whole thing on video, though, if you wanna see?”

“That’s quite all right.” Nolan looked decidedly green himself.

“I’m on the way.” I slipped back into the only role I knew, a small-island single dad. Nolan might be destined for the big time, but I was meant to stay a solo act, and that was simply how things were.