Chapter 20

Twenty

This winter break, our lovely lunch leaders remind you to eat a rainbow. And if you’re looking for a healthy treat, check out Lunch Leader Aubrey’s recipe for puffed rice balls.

MERRY

In my head, Christmas Eve with Nolan would be sweet and perhaps sneakily cuddly. But in reality, the day had been chaotic, highlighted by our run downtown to retrieve Athena’s present and the crowded party at Cara’s. Nolan and I were together, as in we occupied the same space, but I wasn’t getting any of that alone time I so craved.

However, if I was lucky, I might get to see him later in the week on North Shore, a thought that brightened me as I policed the food table from Legend and Ryder. My kids seemed determined to eat their body weight in chocolate-dipped pretzel rods and other treats.

“Do not eat any more pretzels.” I gave Legend a stern look.

“Okay.” He slyly reached for a chip instead, and when I glared at him, Legend merely moved his hand over to a bowl of some sort of mix with popcorn, nuts, and candy.

“Or chips. Or candy. Try some real food.” I’d brought some butterscotch macadamias from a stall at the flea market as a holiday offering for Cara’s household, and that dish was almost empty. I hoped she and Nolan’s parents had at least been able to taste some of my offering. Meanwhile, the large tray of vegetables and dip was largely untouched.

“Chocolate is healthy,” Ryder piped up. He at least was using a plate, but his plate was heaped with chocolate crinkle cookies and two kinds of fudge. “They said so in health class.”

“Just eat a carrot. Both of you.” I threw my hands up, almost running into Athena, who was carrying her phone as always.

“Hey, Mr. Winters, can you make a reaction video for me?” she asked.

“A what?” I’d vaguely heard the term from social media-savvy students.

“I’m going to play you part of the concert the other night and film your reaction.”

“Um. Sure.” I played along as Athena hit Start on the video on Cara’s phone while filming me with her own phone. The video clip was from the sixth grade performance, and Athena undoubtedly wanted to see me go aw at Ryder and Legend and their costumes. Which I did appreciate, but my attention was more drawn to the upper left of the screen, where I was standing. I wasn’t sure I’d seen my smile that wide in years. Huh. Despite all the hours of hard work, I looked relaxed and happy. That had to be Nolan’s effect on me.

In my memory, I’d been torn between watching Nolan and the boys, and I’d correctly remembered his pride for the kids. But what I hadn’t seen before was Nolan looking at me as the song ended and the kids took their bows . On the video, Nolan had a soft, vulnerable expression as he glanced over at me. I’d known Nolan cared about me, but Nolan had a big heart and cared about everything. The way he stared at me, like my reaction to the show mattered most in the world, was humbling.

“You’re supposed to say something,” Athena prodded.

“Oh, uh, great performance.”

“That’s hardly quality content.” Shaking her curly head, Athena raced away.

“Do you golf?” Nolan’s father absentmindedly handed me the baby as he approached the food table.

“No, sir.” I moved the baby to my shoulder like I’d seen Nolan do with him many times. The boys had also always preferred the hold where they could look around. I wasn’t sure whether Nolan’s dad wanted conversation or whether he’d merely been looking to pass off the baby.

“Too bad. Too bad.” He filled a plate and wandered back toward his wife in the other room, answering that question.

Nolan’s parents made me more grateful for mine, for growing up in a warm, loving household where we might not have had the most money, but we’d had a lot of fun. I was glad Nolan had had his late grandfather. I could more easily see why he’d been drawn to the theater and the home he’d found there with fellow actors and production folks.

The baby fussed, so I walked around the family room, the sort of heavy stomp that usually helped babies drift off, but this time, he began to wail.

Nolan came rushing in from the kitchen, wearing a ridiculous Christmas apron and carrying a large oven mitt.

“How did you wind up with the baby?” He plucked the baby from my shoulder and transferred him to his own, not that it helped the crying.

“I think there was a game of musical baby, and I won.”

“He sounds hungry. Let me go find Cara.” Taking the baby, Nolan headed for the front of the house, turning at the last moment to add, “And don’t leave yet! I have your present.”

“I’ll be right here.” I meant the promise on multiple levels. I’d be right there, waiting for him, as long as I could. What I’d almost said earlier was that he made me believe in romance again. He made me feel twenty again, giddy and hopeful. But confessing that wouldn’t have served any purpose, not with the end of the month in sight.

I wasn’t leaving the party, but when a herd of kids zoomed back into the family room, I wandered out to the pool area, taking Nolan’s present with me. Some parents I recognized from around the school lounged near the pool, and Barney lay sprawled out on his favorite raft. Overall, though, the area was much less populated than inside the house. I found a cute glider tucked away in the back corner of the yard and claimed it for Nolan and me.

I didn’t have to wait long before he came bouncing in my direction, holding a sprig of fake leaves in one hand and a large box in the other.

“Is that mistletoe?” We were enough out of sight of others that I was totally willing to chance a kiss.

“Maybe I’m just happy to see you?” Nolan held the sprig over my head, bending to give me a fast kiss before settling next to me. “And I have your present.”

“I told you that you didn’t need to get me anything,” I scolded as he set the box in my lap. Like the presents he’d helped wrap for me, the wrapping job was impeccable, with crisp lines and curly ribbon. And…vents? “Uh…why are there airholes? Please tell me it’s not a pet.”

“It’s not a pet. Dry ice made wrapping a challenge. Just open it already.”

“Oh.” I opened to reveal a treasure trove of New York goodies—bagels, cream cheese, and several kinds of the bakery cookies Nolan had waxed poetic about, including black-and- white cookies and Linzer tarts. Getting it all express air shipped to Oahu couldn’t have been easy. “Thank you.”

“Okay, I know it’s a bit of a self-serving gift, but I kept thinking how much I wanted to visit my neighborhood bakery with you. And I know that can’t happen, so I brought the bakery to you.”

“I’m going to share with the boys, and I’m looking forward to trying the cookies.” I tried to make my tone suitably grateful, unsure why I wasn’t more excited about the food. Maybe it was the reminder that we were indeed from different continents, unlikely to meet again. “Should I save a few cookies for when you come to North Shore?”

“Maybe.” Nolan blushed prettily as I handed over his present. Unlike his efforts, my wrapping could use some work, especially given the irregular shape of the item. He tore the paper off, then smiled. “It’s a charcuterie board! In the shape of Oahu.”

“Non-hipster folks would call it a cutting board, but yes, I did the jigsaw outline and wood burning for the details. The boys helped sand and applied a food-grade stain.”

“I love it.” Nolan beamed, but like me, he seemed subdued.

“I wanted you to have a piece of the island to take with you. The wood’s local too, from a tree that fell on my parents’ property.”

“I’m going to treasure it forever.” Holding the board to his chest, Nolan dropped his head to my shoulder. “I don’t want to think about leaving. I don’t want to think about the end of the month.”

“Then we won’t.” I bent to offer him a soft kiss, wishing I could spare us from the coming pain but also not wanting to waste a second of the time we had left.