1. Amanita

ONE

AMANITA

The deep, sapphire-blue sky twinkled with a burst of burning constellations. A cool breeze danced along the skin of my face as I gazed into the endless night, soothed by the darkness. The shadows felt familiar to me, comforting, as if they were somehow a part of my soul. I longed to engulf myself fully in that feeling—the feeling of being home .

Turning to my left as I lay on the cold ground, I spied an empty impression on the earth next to me. My smile faded away as my heart sank at the painful realization that I was alone. Something in my soul was missing.

"Little shadow." The voice was faint and distant, like a whisper. My body rose as my eyes searched the never-ending night sky for the source of those words, fear and longing growing in my stomach. "My shadow." It spoke again, the words dancing along my face, twisting with a cool night breeze. The feeling of someone suddenly behind me set me on edge as two hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer towards the unknown man. Before I could catch a glimpse of the man's face, his hot lips pressed along my neck, sending a wave of electricity through my veins. Despite the fear of some strange person touching me, I felt safe, immediately thirsting for more of this strange feeling.

His mouth continued, covering me in passionate kisses as it traveled along my collarbone; the man's hands gliding with the curves of my body, reaching my chest. A soft moan floated from my lips as my skin prickled, excited by the foreign touch as it caressed me. It was as if he knew exactly what I wanted and how to give it to me.

Darkness covered us, swallowing us whole. Those strange hands wrapped further around me, pulling me to the ground as we twirled around, his arms eventually pinning me to the cold earth. He kissed my neck, his mouth moving to my breasts as his tongue swirled around my hardened nipple. My voice escaped me, leaving only moans of pleasure.

He lifted my skirt, wasting no time before entering me, his hardened self holding nothing back as he thrust deeper, harder. I remained flat against the ground, soaking in the euphoric moment, enjoying every second, as if this was all I wanted in life. This exact feeling.

"Amanita?" A deep, caring voice rippled through the dream as if someone had tossed a pebble into a puddle of water, disorting the reflection surface. "Lady Amanita?" He called my name once more, the stranger pulling from inside me, fading away, leaving me breathing in the night alone. The sound of my name felt foreign. I turned to face the direction of his voice, immediately blinded by the golden light of sunshine. My eyes strained as I raised my hand to shield my poor irises, a figure of a man looming in the warm beams. He reached his arm out, his warm skin sliding along the palm of my cold hand as he said my name once more. "Amanita, I am here."

My lids immediately rose as I was met with the most gorgeous chartreuse-colored eyes. "Prince Agaric," I whispered his name as he smiled, tucking his bright, cherry-red hair behind his ear. He lifted my palm to his face, gently kissing the top of my hand, making me shiver.

"Good day, Lady Amanita." Day? I glanced around the regal bedroom, noting the warm rays of sunshine as they danced through the thick stained glass windows. Had I slept most of the day? Again? Agaric chuckled lightly to himself, noting my obvious embarrassment. "Don't fret, my lady." His fingertips traced the many strange scars along my skin, the tenderness providing me with a soft comfort. "You've experienced such trauma—a severe injury." My abdomen ached, the healing wound throbbing at the painful reminder. His fingers ran along the deep scar in the center of my left hand, his words dropping in volume. "You need to rest. It'll be a while before you're fully back to your normal self. Until then," he gently placed my hand atop my stomach as he stood, looking down at me laying in the large, ivory-drenched bed. "Rest. I shall see to it my staff brings you more of the medicinal soup you've been enjoying. Over time, you shall forget the dark past and embrace the light of your future." He offered me a soft smile. "I shall leave you be. If my lady feels too lonely in her chambers, she is always welcome to come find me."

He hesitated a moment, giving me time to fully absorb his princely appearance. He was dressed in one of his usual, casual tunics, embossed with a metallic, silver filigree stitched along the silky, beige-colored material. His tan skin blended perfectly with the regal palette of his wardrobe, a true representation of the colors of Dryade, the kingdom of sunshine.

Agaric's smile grew, noting my wandering eyes as I shied away from his gaze, my cheeks flushed from the inappropriate behavior. He offered me a small, informal bow before exiting my chamber. I grabbed the nearby pillow and shoved it over my face, embarrassed by my obvious curiosity. He was a prince—royalty—and I was an injured rabbit, rescued from death's door, recovering until I was well enough to be released back into the wild.

The absence of light beneath the silky pillow soothed my annoyance as I inhaled deeply, the warm scent of citrus choking my airway. I gagged, tossing the pillow aside as I tried to force the remnants of the heavy scent from my mouth. A part of me felt so out of place here, in this palace—this kingdom. Not only did I mentally feel wrong, I physically clashed with the warm, sunshine colors and aesthetic of Agaric's life. My dark, inky blue hair reached my waist, alongside my metallic silver eyes, and pale skin covered in old scars—I was the reflection of something cold and brutal. My finger ran along the many old wounds, tracing the thickest one seeded in my left palm, foreign to me. Who am I?

I rose from the bed, forcing the intrusive thoughts from my mind. The stiff material of my corset pulled beneath the bodice of my dress, constricting my breathing, causing me to groan as I gasped for air. I didn't understand the need for women to wear such torturous contraptions and attire. The idea of boosting my breasts, displaying them and highlighting my figure for others to gawk at felt ridiculous, especially when paired with the overly-exaggerated layers of skirts that hung heavily from my waist. They made it difficult to move, restricting my mobility. The nearly-healed wound to my abdomen ached as the bone of my corset pushed against my wrappings. Thankfully, I hadn't been able to recall the events that led to such a deep wound. The unknown bothered me, but maybe the lack of recollection was for the best. Truthfully, I was lucky the prince found me, wounded in the midst of such a war. Had he not, my fate would be the same as all the others unfortunately caught between the two kingdoms—joined only in death. The idea of death didn't scare me. What truly scared me, was feeling so lost and alone. My memory and identity scattered amongst the darkness.

"Lady Amanita?" I had to process my name, realizing the poor, hovering maid was addressing me. She had been waiting nearby, a tray in hand with a single bowl. Her hands were trembling ever so lightly, as if she was experiencing a fit of some kind. "Y-your soup, m-my lady." She quickly placed the tray on the nightstand, offering a gentle curtsey before quickly exiting my room. I tried to thank her, but she had scuttled away too quickly, the words never leaving my mouth. The sheer sight of me must've frightened her, like so many before. My fingers lightly touched the healing scars that branched along the side of my face and trailed down my neck, my eyes stinging as tears began to form. As if the many scars along my skin weren't off putting enough, the drastic damage to my face only made me stick out more. I was grotesque. Despite the prince's constant compliments, I could feel everyone's eyes heavy on my skin at all times, fear filling their irises as they examined me, reassuring me of my monstrous appearance. How could someone like Agaric continue to care for someone like me? A monster?

A single tear fell into the thick, green soup as I swirled it, the golden spoon lightly scraping the bottom of the delicate china. My stomach growled, confirming it was time for my next meal. I lifted a spoonful of the odd smelling, chunky meal, the bitter paste hitting my tongue as my body instantly fought back the urge to vomit. It was a struggle to consume the foul-smelling soup, but I knew I needed it. Prince Agaric had been offering me the medicinal meal since I first arrived, the effects slowly taking root, or so I was told. I endured the torture and ate every last bit, scrapping the bowl clean like an obedient child.

As the metal spoon clanked against the empty china bowl, my head began to spin. My body began to lift from the bed and float, hovering over the bed as if I was drifting to the bottom of a lake. I felt weightless yet heavy at the same time. My eyes widened as my head fell back and landed on the pillow, watching the gathered canopy above the bed dance. The immersive effects of this soup always left me in such an odd, lucid state. I watched helplessly as the colors of the world around me mashed together, swirling as they created strange images. The unnatural spectacle continued as the colors formed a night sky bursting with stars of every color. As much as I enjoyed the scenery, I knew the medicine was strong, leaving me vulnerable upon consumption. The idea of lying in a weakened state ate at me. I did not like feeling weak.

Despite my current state of hypnosis, watching the blended colors frolicking around my room, a seed in the pit of my stomach spoke to me, its voice faint, and resembling the one I heard in my dreams. Be like the sky and remain true, an unchanging symphony of the stars. The phrase had no meaning to me but remained burned across my heart like a brand. I continued to listen to the same sentence over and over as it eventually lulled me to sleep; the effects of the medicine carried me back into the darkness of my dreams. Symphony of the stars.