17

17

D ead leaves crunch beneath their feet as they walk through the woods behind the house. Jodi tried to convince Flora to nap while she got Iris some fresh air, but the idea of being alone in the house gave Flora shivers. Jodi did insist on carrying Iris, wrapped against her chest, to at least give Flora's back a break, and Flora is, admittedly, grateful for the respite. She pauses on the walk, closes her eyes, lifts her head toward the sunshine peeking through the bare tree branches, and takes a deep breath of cold air. Being out here rejuvenates her and sharpens her mind.

"They didn't have these things when you were a baby," Jodi says, referring to the carrier.

"I'm pretty sure women in other cultures have been carrying their babies like that for centuries," Flora replies.

"I'm here to help, you know," Jodi says, pausing to inspect a patch of moss on a fallen log. "You don't have to fight me on every little thing."

"It's not a fight; it's a fact." Even as Flora says it, guilt tugs at her chest. She knew perfectly well how that response would come across. Try as she might, she cannot silence her inner angsty teen while in her mother's presence. "But okay, you're right, sorry."

Zephie follows Flora right on her heels, and Flora is a bit annoyed that out here, with all this space, Zephie insists on remaining this close. So much for keeping her distance.

As Jodi pulls out ahead and leads the way, an image pops into Flora's mind. She imagines Jodi tripping on a hidden rock and falling forward, all her weight landing on Iris, crushing her baby's head— splat —like a runny egg.

"Mom," she says, "are you sure you don't want me to carry her?"

"No, we're fine, why?"

"Just making sure."

Jodi stops, turns, and stares at Flora with her mouth in an open, sly smile. "Is that why you came with us? To babysit me?"

"What?" Flora's cheeks flush. "No. That's not—really, that's not it."

"You don't trust me to be alone with her?"

Flora feels ridiculous, though she shouldn't, since this is not the reason she came with her mother, but something about Jodi's tone of voice and raised eyebrow feeds her insecurity. She is exposed, mocked, as if her mother is assuring the world that it need not take Flora seriously.

"It's not that I don't trust you," Flora says, her voice thin. "It's that I don't trust myself… to be alone in that house."

Jodi's demeanor changes. Her chest puffs out and her eyes narrow. "What do you mean?"

no walking this back now you gotta tell her

"Things have been… misplaced. And moved around. And… I've been hearing noises. Well, really—a voice. From the monitor. I thought it had stopped, and then this morning—"

"Flora!" Jodi throws her hands in the air, which invites an unhappy grunt from the baby. "Oh my God! Do you think—I heard a story on the news a few years ago about a man who was squatting in someone's house. They didn't even know he was there for months!"

Flora had forgotten about her mother's flair for the dramatic. No one was more prepared for a juicy story than Jodi. She was the kind to thrive on conspiracy theories and couldn't resist a creative spin on neighborhood gossip.

"No, Mom, I don't think someone is secretly living in my home."

Although, now that the words were out there, she found herself doubting them. Was there a chance someone had set up shop in the garage or spare room? Flora had been so preoccupied with Iris. But no, those clickbait stories might dominate the news, but their likelihood in her small, boring life is closer to nil and none. Flora needs to get a grip and bring her mother back to reality.

"Well, what does it say?" Jodi asks.

"Huh?"

"The voice. In the monitor. The man's voice. What does he say ?"

Jodi sits on a nearby stump and waves Flora closer. Jodi's eyes are wide and engaged, her body leaning instinctively forward in interest and fear.

"It wasn't really words," Flora says. "At least, not until today. But then earlier… while we were doing dishes, I thought—I thought I heard him say something like ‘Where's my good girl?'"

There is a long silence as Jodi takes this in. The sun disappears behind a cloud, and the world turns gray. Flora hugs her arms together and blows into her hands for warmth. Finally, she can't take the quiet any longer.

"Mom?" she asks. "Am I going crazy?"

"Well, I'm probably not the person to ask." Jodi laughs. "But listen, this could be serious. Does your monitor use Wi-Fi?"

"Yeah." Flora nods, impressed that her mother would know there is a distinction between monitors with and without internet connection.

"A friend of mine, her daughter went through something exactly like this. She heard a guy's voice from the monitor and realized that it had been hacked ! He was watching the baby whenever he goddamned pleased! Some old-man pervert."

Flora wants to write this off, wants to believe that this is another of her mom's strange conspiracy theories, but she suddenly realizes it might not be that far-fetched. And she also suddenly wants to throw up.

"Oh my God," she says. "Do you really think…?"

"You need a new monitor. One that doesn't use internet." Jodi stands from the stump, on a mission.

"This is surreal," Flora says. "My mother giving me technology advice."

"Ha ha," Jodi says, already walking back toward the house. "We need to disconnect that monitor right away."

"But what will I use instead?" Flora walks side by side with her mother, more quickly now, Zephie on their heels.

"Flora," Jodi says, "I never used a monitor when you were a baby. You don't need a monitor."

Flora wants to argue but decides against it. Her mother has taken the reins, and something about that is comforting. Flora doesn't have to make all the decisions alone. She has a partner in this impossible task of raising a life. A partner who has done this before.

Zephie's voice hisses in her ear. "Yeah, but do you really wanna do it the way she did?"

Flora continues walking in step with Jodi and pretends she hasn't heard.

baby monitor

noun [s]

1. an electronic device that enables a person to see or hear a child who is in another room

2. one of many products you cannot live without because you as a parent are not enough, will never be enough, to keep your baby safe