96. Rosalyn

NINETY-SIX

ROSALYN

I'm still breathing heavily when Nathan pulls the blankets over me after wiping me down with a warm cloth and pulling the wedge out from under me.

I tuck the blanket under my chin as I roll so I'm facing Nathan's side of the bed.

He climbs onto the mattress, equally naked, and matches my position.

There's a look on his face, like he wants to say something, so I stay quiet.

"How did you go six years without sex?"

I snort, not expecting that to be his question. "It's pretty easy, really. I just didn't date."

He hums. "Before that?"

"Do you really want to know about my ex-boyfriends? Because I'm telling you right now, Mr. Waller, I don't want to know about any of your exes."

Nathan smirks. "Mr. Waller. I think I like that."

I roll my eyes. But I don't hate the idea of calling him that. In the right situation .

"How long was your relationship before the half-dozen-year hiatus?" he asks.

"How do you know I had a relationship before that? It could've been a one-night stand."

He shakes his head. "It was a relationship."

I wait a second, then sigh. "I was with him for three years."

"That's a long time."

I shrug.

Nathan presses his lips together, then decides to ask, "What happened?"

I shrug again. "He took a job in another state. Didn't ask me to come. I didn't ask to go."

"So he's fucking stupid."

His tone is so serious it makes me laugh. "That's the consensus."

"And you just decided to stop dating after that?"

"I was kinda over men, ya know?"

"I know." Nathan nods seriously. "That's why I have Charles as a roommate."

I smile. "He's a good roommate."

"The best." Nathan agrees.

I know I shouldn't ask. I just said I didn't want to know. But… "What was your longest relationship?"

He closes an eye. "The name or the time?"

"The time." I reach out under the blanket and shove at his chest. "I don't need to know her name."

He grins and catches my hand under the covers, holding it against his bare skin. "Longest was about a year and a half, I think."

"What happened?" I ask the same question he did.

He rubs his thumb over the back of my hand. "She wanted to get married."

"And you didn't?" It takes work to keep my voice even. The thought of some bitch trying to marry Nathan makes my stomach hurt.

"It didn't feel right."

"The timing or the girl?" I can't help myself.

"Both." He lifts a shoulder. "I mean, we were exclusive, but I still saw it as a casual thing. Then one day she tells me she loves me and asks when I think we'll get married…"

I try not to smile. "I take it you didn't respond the way she wanted."

He chuckles. "Yeah, apparently wide eyes and dead silence weren't what she was looking for."

"I can't imagine why."

Nathan smirks. "I'd never had someone tell me they love me before. Or, well, you know, someone outside the normal people."

My nose scrunches. "Who are the normal people?"

"Family, friends, whatever." Nathan says it so casually.

Normal.

Because it's normal to have your parents tell you they love you.

Normal to have siblings or friends or cousins who love you.

My time with Nathan has made me forget.

I fight to keep my features neutral as his comment sweeps open the curtain I've been drawing over my past, revealing the hole in the center of my being.

The one that should be full of good memories.

Should be full of happiness.

Should be full of love.

But it's empty.

I try to pull my hand free of Nathan's grip. But he tightens his hold.