7. Isla

7

ISLA

“No!” I shouted, holding up my hand as an explosion tore through the house. I was engulfed in flames, but Riley…she was gone. She was by the fridge, and now ? —

“You did this,” Shawn growled at me. “You could have ended all of this. Now, everyone is going to pay.”

He pulled the gun from behind his back and pointed it at my head. I opened my mouth, but never got the chance to scream. The bullet exploded from the chamber and I knew this was the last time I would ever see the light of day.

Panting hard, I sat upright, desperately clawing for air to enter my lungs and fill them the way they were supposed to. Nothing helped. Not even seeing the light streaming through the windows ended the pain. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and stuck my head between my legs. Slowly, the black spots that were starting to ebb into my vision faded and breathing became easier, though I still felt the overwhelming panic from my dream. But at least I wasn’t on the verge of passing out.

“What are you doing?”

I sat up suddenly, hair flying over my shoulders as I stared at my sister. “What?”

Concern marred her face as she walked further into the room. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said instantly, not even sure why I was hiding it from her.

“Don’t give me that shit. You look like you were on the verge of losing your shit. And your hands are shaking.” She gripped my hand and her eyes shot up to mine. “Fuck, you’re freezing.”

Now that she mentioned it, chills skated over my body. “Just a bad dream.”

She pursed her lips. “Did you tell Kavanaugh?”

“Do you tell Bowie?” I retorted.

Rolling her eyes, she flopped back on the bed. “Not if I want to be able to leave the house without him following me.”

“So, you see why I didn’t say anything. Things are already on edge with us,” I sighed. “If I tell him, it’s only going to make things more difficult. He’s going to feel responsible, and then he’s going to want to add security.”

“No,” she sat up, already shaking her head. “I can’t handle that. I just want things to go back to normal.”

“Exactly, and Shawn is in the hospital. He’s not a threat.” I bent over, resting my elbows on my knees, still trying to recover from the dream. I took a deep breath as Riley rubbed a hand over my back. It helped, but the visions—those terrible things I saw in my nightmares, those wouldn’t leave me. They would only add to the nightly reel of things that freaked me the fuck out and ensured I wouldn’t get any sleep.

Footsteps on the stairs had me stiffening. Even Riley straightened and pretended everything was fine. Kavanaugh grinned at me, though he looked like he hadn’t slept at all. “Coffee,” he said, holding one out to me.

“Thanks,” I smiled.

“Yes, thank you,” Riley grinned, snatching the second out of his hand.

“That was actually for me,” he muttered.

“Which is why it’s so nice that you decided to give it to me,” she smiled, getting to her feet. She shot me a look once she was past Kavanaugh, then fled the room.

He sat beside me and brushed my curls over my shoulder. I didn’t need to see the look on his face to know that he was worried about me. “Did you get any sleep?” he asked.

“Is that your nice way of telling me I don’t look good?”

“Not at all,” he smiled.

“Because this is not how I normally look when I’m awake. You’ve seen me,” I deflected. “I look awesome.”

“I know, Red.”

It didn’t matter how many times I reminded him that he had a teammate named Red. The nickname stuck.

“When did you leave?”

He shrugged. “Had to run to OPS.”

“I thought you had the day off.”

“I do,” he said hesitantly. “The senator called.”

I immediately stiffened, but I did my best not to jump to the wrong conclusion. “What did he want?”

“He…” He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck and sighed. “The information he promised didn’t lead anywhere.”

“And he knew that, so he was calling to offer you more?” I asked hopefully.

“Not exactly. He made me another offer.” I scoffed before he even finished. “He can get me the information I need, but it’s going to cost a lot.”

“How much?”

“Working with him, protection during his campaign…”

My jaw dropped and I got to my feet, not liking where this was going. “He wants you to go back to your fake life.”

He nodded, not bothering to look at me.

“And you’re considering this.”

“I had actually hoped to discuss it with you first,” he snapped, then softened his voice. “Sorry, I get tense when I talk to the senator.”

I figured. I took a deep breath and sat back down. He was trying to be honest with me. Jumping down his throat wouldn’t help things. “Okay, so what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that I hate the senator and I don’t want to get dragged back into this. But I have a feeling that if I don’t do this, things are going to get even worse.”

“In what way?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “It’s work stuff.”

I stiffened at his non-answer.

“I swear to you, I would tell you, but this has to do with Cash. I don’t feel comfortable discussing this outside of work.”

I couldn’t blame him for that. Even if I didn’t understand his reasoning, I respected him for trying to maintain a level of professionalism. “Okay, so if you don’t do this, you’re saying more bad could come than good.”

“Possibly, but it could also be very dangerous.”

“For who?”

“Everyone,” he sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “It could be a fucking disaster.”

I chewed my lip as I thought about what he was saying. Without specifics, it was hard to determine what was the right move, so I went with the best thing I could think of. “I think you need to do what’s right.”

His eyes flicked to me in surprise.

Rolling my eyes, I bumped his shoulder. “I know you, Kavanaugh. You’re always going to stand up for what you believe is right. And if you don’t…it’s going to eat at you. So, win or lose, you need to follow your conscience.”

“Even if that makes things worse for us?”

“Could it?” I asked, uncertainty creeping into my voice.

“It could be very dangerous.” He blew out a harsh breath, which only set me on edge. “If I do this, you would need protection.”

“From who?” I asked, my body tensing.

“From whoever the fuck is out there fucking with Cash. The senator warned me, and that’s not something he’s likely to do unless he thinks we could be kicking a hornet’s nest. So, what do you really think?”

“Can I get back to you?” I laughed slightly. At his look, I knew this was something that needed to be decided sooner rather than later. “Okay, without knowing who or what would come after us, and knowing the senator and all his bullshit, and then mixing in all the bullshit going on at work…I still think you have to do what you feel is right.”

“No matter the consequences?”

Was I signing my own death warrant? Surely, it couldn’t be that bad. But he wouldn’t be warning me if it wasn’t. No, Kavanaugh was torn up over this, which meant it had to be bad. And if it was really that bad, who else was it affecting? Were other people in danger? How far did this go?

Still, if I wanted to be with Kavanaugh, I had to accept that this was his life. He was a protector and needed to do what he felt was right. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be Kavanaugh.

“No matter the consequences,” I finally answered.

He slid his arm around my back and pulled me against him, pressing his lips to mine in a slow, sweet kiss. His eyes flicked to mine and the heat built between us, but it was the words I could see in his eyes, the ones he had yet to say to me, though I was certain they lingered in every touch.

I pressed my hand to his cheek, hoping he could feel what I desperately wanted to say, but wasn’t ready to yet.

He wrapped his other arm around me, burying his face in my chest. I felt his grumble of disapproval as my shirt got in his way, but he didn’t attempt to take it off. Instead, he just sighed heavily and held me tighter.

I knew he would protect me with everything he had. But what concerned me most was the way my gut twisted as he held me. It was like he was preparing me for the worst, and something told me we just might not make it through to the end.