Chapter 8

8

Drak

An-nana's hands are shaking around the small book she found, clearly perceiving it to be distressful. Her chest is rising and falling as fast as it does after she finishes running, her heart thudding louder than normal too.

I wish the offending book would incinerate. I would offer to do this for her, but it seems that she has hope for the finding. She feels it may be connected to her brothers, I decide. An-nana cares a great deal about locating her family, so her nervous hands must be from worry. Every clue she finds she will feel shaken by, and it is a difficult realization to digest. I do not like seeing my mean friend so unlike herself.

"I should open it, right?" she asks, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip.

"You should," I agree. If An-nana did not wish for me to agree, she would have framed her words differently. She is asking for support, and I will give it to her.

Securing the precious gift she has given me to my belt, I move to her side to let her know I am here. I would sit with her if I thought the tiny bed could withstand my weight. Bracing herself first, An-nana slowly opens the first page.

She gasps as she sees her language in black scroll, pulling it closer to her eyes for a better look. I have never wished to know Ang'lish more. Will she tell me what she reads? Will she hide it from me?

Her face shifts with a jumble of emotion. Relief, fear, sadness, and eventually anger. She reads the many words so quickly that by the time I have blinked, she's throwing the little book across the room and grunting with pure frustration.

I look down at my angry little friend and wonder how to help her. Stee-vee wishes for Marrec to hold her when she is feeling big feelings, but An-nana has never indicated anything of the sort. She shies away from touch, but I wish I could embrace her now.

Stee-vee gave me my first embrace, and it made me feel very good. I wish to give An-nana that same feeling so that she is no longer so upset.

"How can I help?" I ask, unsure of what else to do.

"They don't want me to look for them," she seethes, her small hands forming tight fists. "He wrote this months ago! It's all about how hard it is out there, and he practically begged me not to look for them. Who does that?"

I try to soften my gaze on her, cautiously reaching out to set my hand on her shoulder. When she doesn't flinch away or shove me off, I squeeze her lightly. "Your family cares for your safety, An-nana. It is not fair to leave you behind, but at least they intended to do it for your own good."

She frowns but still doesn't smack my hand off of her.

"They only did it because they think I'm a weak little girl."

Now I am frowning too. How could anyone see a creature like my Mean One and think her to be weak? She is a strong hu-nim —the strongest I have seen—and many Aprixians would agree. How could they not?

"If they truly believe that, they are not as smart as I predicted them to be," I tell her honestly. "You are not weak, An-nana. You are as strong as any warrior."

Her lip curls up in distaste. "So I'm strong, but I'm still a little girl?"

An-nana is little, but only because I am large. She is female, but she is not adolescent in the slightest. I have never once believed her to be young and naive. She is brilliant and a very lovely hu-nim to look at and to be around.

"You are only little in size," I reply, hoping to cure her turned-down lips. Using my free hand, I tap the side of her head slightly. "You are mighty here." Poking the center of her chest where her heart lies underneath, I add, "Here as well."

Watery eyes blink up at me, and An-nana begins to steady her breath.

"I should just ignore them, right? I should keep looking?"

At this, I flash a victorious grin. "We are going to hunt them down and show them how strong you are, Mean One. I will not stop searching for as long as you wish to continue."

It is the right thing to say because her determined face returns. An-nana straightens her shoulders and nods, standing up. I take a step back, allowing her the space I know she prefers. Even as my hand falls from her shoulder, I long to put it there once more.

"I'm going to look around the house some more," she says firmly. "Do you mind going to the roof and seeing if you can sense anything from up there?"

Nodding, I tell her, "I will do this."

An-nana collects herself and leaves her room first, her footsteps echoing through the abandoned home as she goes. Before I leave to scale the dwelling, I pick up the small book she left behind. She may not like the sight of it now, but I know that she may miss it later. Opening it, I lay my eyes on the unfamiliar words, memorizing their shapes.

Anna,

If you're reading this, Dad's essentially gone bat-shit. He's determined to kill off every zombie he can find, even if it means dying in the process. If, by some twist of fate, you've made it back to the house and found this notebook, GO BACK. Living life like this, it's not living at all. Find somewhere safe and STAY THERE.

You know I love you, and I'd do anything to see you again, but one of the only things that lets me sleep at night is knowing you're not here suffering by my side. The road is safe enough, so don't worry too much, but some of these months have been fucking scary.

So seriously, sis, DON'T LOOK FOR US. Depending on when you read this letter, we could already be dead. I know that's awful to hear, and I'd never want to read this letter coming from you. Still, I had to write it.

For my sanity, just try to move on. Please.

Caleb,

(July 20)

None of the symbols mean a thing to me, but I will save them for my friend still. Shredding the page with the note from her family, I carefully fold it and put it into my pocket. I will guard it with my life, holding on to it in case she desires to read it once more. Perhaps there are clues hidden within it that we do not yet understand.

An-nana believes that it was written months ago, so her family has been back to this dwelling since leaving her. I hope this means that they are still close, but I was not lying when I vowed to An-nana that I would not stop searching with her. Urth will need to fully die before I break my vow because the only thing that will take my devotion from this task is a true risk to her safety.

I will drag her kicking and screaming to Aprix if it means keeping her from perishing along with this withering planet.