Chapter 14

14

Anna

"Sorry," I mutter, wiping at my face with the back of my sleeves. I don't know why I'm apologizing for crying when this motherfucker just scared the absolute hell out of me, but I've never been one for emotional outbursts.

I feel raw and cut open, but it's not technically his fault. I can't stay mad at Drak for making mistakes, even huge, dangerous ones. I wasn't lying when I admitted to caring for him. I just don't know how to handle it.

Drak treats me better than any man ever has. He's been a selfless friend—helpful from the start—and I can't hide how he's been making me feel. No one makes me smile like he does. No one cares for me the way that he does. I don't think I deserve it, but denying to myself that I want it is no longer possible.

"Do not be sorry, An-nana," he says softly, unsticking some hair from my tear-stained face and brushing it behind my ear. "I never wished to worry you."

I know he didn't. Drak wouldn't have picked that venomous little asshole up if he knew how dangerous they were to humans.

I have no idea if the venom would do anything to him since his genetic makeup is different from mine, but I didn't care to find out. If it bit him and he died, I would probably die too, sobbing in the woods for him to wake up.

"I think we've had enough searching for today," I admit, still extremely unsettled. "Let's start a fire and see if it attracts anything."

Normally, we'd do this after nightfall, but I'm too tired to wait. Fearing for Drak's life took all of my energy and drained me dry.

"I will gather the tree bits," he volunteers, patting my shoulders gently.

"Be careful," I demand, a stern edge to my tone.

Drak nods once and grins at me before running off to grab firewood.

While he's gone, I use the steel toe of my boot to dig up some grass, pushing it away to form a small circle we can use to make the fire. The plants and grass around us don't seem to be particularly wet, so I'm not too worried about lighting a fire here.

Today has been… too much.

I saw my alien companion get peed on by a deer, shower naked in the waterfall with his dick fully out, and then feared for his life while he cradled a fucking killer snake. Honestly, this might be the weirdest day of my life, and there's no shortage of weirdness when you're living in an apocalypse.

My heart is still returning to its normal rhythm when Drak comes back, a huge stack of wood balancing in his hands. It's probably much more than we require, but I'm not going to complain about it. He even knew to bring thin branches along with the thick ones which will make for a much smoother start to our flames.

"Shall I make the tower?" he asks, dropping the pile at his feet next to the dirt pit.

He loves the way humans make fire in a little cone shape.

"If you want." I can do it, but if he wants to, he can have at it.

Judging by his smirk, he's all too pleased to have the pleasure.

"I will craft you the best tower," he declares, immediately getting to work.

Like an idiot, I just stare at him, watching while he moves around all of the lumber. I don't think I'll ever get over just how big the Aprixians are. Drak could have actually crushed me to death in our hug earlier, but he was immensely gentle—which means they likely have experience managing their strength.

I wonder if it's in their instincts to be gentle with small things to ensure they can raise kids, or maybe it's just because I'm a woman. Aprix has a small population of women compared to their many men, but from what I've heard, Drak is one of the few aliens here who's had sex before.

"Stevie said you've chosen mated before, is that right?"

Drak freezes, giving me a bewildered look. "Why do you ask this?"

"Well, we're friends, aren't we?" I ask him, chewing on my lip. "That's what you've been saying for a while now."

Pride puffs his chest. "We are the best of friends, An-nana."

"Well, friends talk about mating," I inform him, clicking my tongue. "Unless you don't want to?"

"I… it is complicated," he admits, rubbing his neck. "I have been with females before, yes. But they were not chosen matings, they ended quickly."

So, chosen mating is like fuck buddies or relationships without a soul seed lighting, but not random hookups, I gather.

Beginning to build the fire again, Drak asks, "Why do you ask about mating, An-nana?"

Blushing, I avoid his eyes in favor of picking at my clothes. "Just curious."

He hums, using his fancy little watch device to spark a flame into the bottom of the stacked wood.

"Do you have an instinct to be soft with smaller things, or do you have to actively hold back your strength?" God, I sound like Caleb, trying to uncover the science of it all.

Successfully having lit the campfire, Drak stands to his full height, resting his hands on his hips. "It is natural."

"So, the Aprixian females you were with, you were able to be gentle with them?"

I'm prying far too much, but I'm too curious to stop it.

Drak frowns. "I did not hurt them."

"Oh god, no," I rush out. "I wasn't implying that—I just meant—" Cutting myself off, I blow out a breath. "I was just thinking about how it all works because you're so strong, and humans don't even come close to that level of power. I was just wondering how Stevie and Marrec… you know."

His down-turned lips tip up, and my shoulders relax, knowing that I've fixed whatever he thought I must be insinuating. "You wish to know about hu-nims and Aprixians mating? Why might that be, Mean One?"

Do. Not. Blush.

Naturally, I avoid feeling vulnerable by being snarky. "Why? Are you going to try and impress me with your mating expertise?"

Only Drak doesn't laugh like he normally would. Instead, he hangs his head, and his frown returns. "I do not believe I am a very skilled mate, An-nana."

Oh Jesus, he sounds so upset about it.

"Who told you that?" I bark, pissed off about it for no reason. He very well could be bad in bed for all I know.

Shyly, he shrugs. "My experience is limited, and those who I have shared time with did not wish to see me after."

"Did you pleasure them?"

His eyes darken. "Of course, a male must always do so. We are driven by it."

"Then you aren't an unskilled mate. Human guys don't have the same standard. Some of them will fuck you and dump you without even making you come. So I assure you, you're ahead of the game in that department," I deadpan.

Drak smiles warily. "Perhaps so. But to most, I am nice to look at," he tells me solemnly. "And that is all."

"That's fucking bullshit," I snap, earning a surprised look from him. His eyes are wide as he glances at me. "You're not just nice to look at, Drak. You're kind, strong, funny, and caring. You're a catch. I honestly don't understand why someone hasn't claimed you already."

Wow, did I just blurt all of that out?

A ghost of a smile tugs at his lips, but he shakes his head. "You do not understand, An-nana. As I say, it is complicated."

"Uncomplicated it for me then."

Sighing, Drak lowers himself onto a large fallen tree trunk to sit. "Aprixian females tend to be quite serious creatures. They suffer from the population struggles as much as the males do. There is much pressure for them to pick their perfect mate because they care for our planet and our people."

Okay, so far so good. That seems entirely reasonable.

"But sometimes this makes them… superstitious ." The English word is jumbled on his tongue, but I understand him anyway. "They fear many qualities in our males, and many of them fear me."

"Because you're a warrior like Marrec?"

"In part," he confirms, looking nervous. "But mostly, they fear that bearing my young will end in tragedy. My mother perished not long after my birth. Her body could not handle the delivery, and our technology could not save her. They believe I am cursed by our goddess and that mating with me is dangerous."

My heart actually squeezes in my chest, painfully so. "Drak, I'm so sorry."

I can't pretend I understand where the women are coming from, but I can't be pissed at them even if I'm majorly offended on Drak's behalf. Even humans jump to conclusions that hurt people when they're scared, and it's clear that they are cautious because of their struggles. I just wish it didn't come with this kind of treatment towards someone who is so undeserving of it.

"They're wrong to think that," I tell him firmly. "You're not cursed."

"I know I am not," he tells me, a faint twinkle in his eye. "If I were cursed, I would not be on Urth with my good friend An-nana."

I snicker at his ability to see the bright side of things. The fact that he sees me as something bright is amusing too.

"You know, if we're friends, you should probably know how to say my name right," I tell him, starting to poke at the fire with my long stick.

"I know how," he refutes the implication immediately.

"You say it wrong all the time," I disagree. "It's Anna. Not An-nana."

"This is what I call you," Drak defends. "An-na is too short, it is not fitting for you."

I have to laugh at his audacity. "And you think you know me well enough to rename me, do you?"

His nose scrunches. "I do not rename you. I call you An-nana, so I do not have to stop saying your name so quickly. Do you wish me to stop?"

My jaw drops open. He says my name wrong so he can say it longer? Who… who even does something like that?

"Is that seriously why you say it that way?" I ask, needing further confirmation.

"I speak truly," he grunts, inflating his chest. "I thought of calling you An-nana-nana, but it jumbled my tongue."

When I blink at him, he tilts his head.

"Do you wish me to stop?" he repeats.

"No," I decide, shaking my head. "An-nana is fine, Drak."

"Good."

"And I meant what I said," I reiterate. "You aren't cursed, and you'll make some girl really lucky when your chest lights up for her. You'll be a good mate."

His eyes bore into mine. "You mean this in truth?"

"Yeah, Drak. I do."

I really do.