Chapter 12

twelve

Nevaeh

It’s amazing how fast two and a half weeks can pass. What’s more amazing is how little I feel a desire to return to the real world, when this world I’ve slipped into has been so incredibly comfortable to lose myself in.

“Where are you, baby?” Mama asks over the line.

“I’m—in a safe place.”

Mama harrumphs. “But where is this safe place? I dropped by your apartment thinking we could do lunch and you weren’t there. Then I dropped by the next day and again no answer, so I used my key and guess what I found?”

I wince, because how hadn’t I thought Mama would come calling eventually? Like I’d told Kane, I’m close with my parents. “Not me.”

“Not you and nothing,” Mama’s pitch rises. “The place is empty.” She hisses down the line. “I felt like I was breaking in by entering that place, Nevaeh. Should I even have a key?”

I wince. “Probably not.”

“Where are you living?”

“I’m living—” God, why can’t I say it? “Mama, I have a lot to tell you. A lot has happened.”

“I still haven’t heard about why you broke the engagement with Antonio.” Mama huffs. “Now you tell me there’s a lot you must tell me. Are you in trouble?”

“No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Then where are you, Nevaeh, and why is Kate crying to me about you refusing her calls? Why are you not living in your apartment, and why did you move without telling me?”

I close my eyes and pull in a deep breath. She’s going to freak, but I can’t keep this from her any longer. It’s not right. She deserves the truth—or as much of it as I can tell her. “Mama, make a tea and sit down, okay?”

“Lord, it’s that bad.” I think she says a small prayer before she informs me. “I already have tea.”

“Are you sitting?”

Yep, definite prayer. “I am.”

I start from the beginning. “Antonio cheated on me.” Mama gasps, calling him something ungodly under her breath. “With Kate.”

“No…” I think I hear Mama’s heart break for me. “Baby.”

“I’ve cut her out of my life. I don’t forgive her now and I’ll never forgive her. I know you and Aunt Mallory are close, but—I’ll never feel the way I felt about her. I’ll never get that image out of my mind.”

“Say no more. A friend does not make those mistakes.” Her voice rattles with emotion. “My relationship with Aunt Mallory will survive or it won’t. But that’s not for you to shoulder.” She sighs a sad sound. “My girl, I’m so sorry.”

“I started seeing someone shortly after I broke off the engagement,” I admit. It’s not entirely a lie. “I’m living with him now. Things are—serious.”

Another prayer. I think she’s begging God to take mercy on my soul. I give her a moment to gather herself. “Is this man a nice man?”

“He’s the best thing I’ve ever had, Mama.” God, I need to upsell this hard if I’m going to convince my parent’s that this marriage sham we’re going to enter soon is real. “I love him. I didn’t know what love was before him. He makes me feel alive and safe and…” I pause, closing my eyes as I lean back on the couch, lifting my feet to the edge of the coffee table. “Mama, he’s good—the kind of good daddy would want for me. When he holds me, I think the world could come crashing down and I’d still be standing untouched in the aftermath. He smells like a winter forest—and when he kisses me, I forget how to breathe.”

There’s a beat of silence and then, “Well.” I think she’s fanning her face. I smile. “When do we meet him?”

“I’ll talk to him when he comes home from work.”

“Oh, what does he do?”

I sit up at her question, ready to pace. I tend to pace when I’m nervous, and I’m nervous because I’ve just realized that I don’t know what Kane does for a living.

My body jolts and heat floods me. Every inch of me. My ears are so red, so hot, I feel like they are moments from bursting under the flame of embarrassment. Because leaning against the wall is Kane, and the cocky grin he’s wearing says he heard everything I said about him.

Floor, swallow me whole.

“Nevaeh?” Mama calls.

I croak, “Mama, I’ll call you back.”

I don’t wait for her to answer before I disconnect.

With my heart hammering in my chest, I shift awkwardly in place. “I was just—selling you to my mom.”

“I heard.” He’s still grinning that cocky grin.

“Because I need her to believe I’m hopelessly in love when I break the news I’m marrying you.”

“Of course.”

I scowl at him. At the way he says that, because it makes me feel like he’s trying to placate me. I don’t like it. “I’m serious, Kane.”

“Oh, I know.” He pushes off the wall, prowling closer to me. Nerves jitter inside my belly, humming in my chest. “Tell me more about this winter forest I smell like.”

All I can do is glare at him. My ears couldn’t be hotter than they are right now.

His voice pitches impossibly low when he says seriously, “You’re so fucking cute right now, Sunshine. I’d kiss you if I didn’t think you’d forget how to breathe.”

I smack at his chest, horrified he heard all that. “Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Sounds like I’m the one who’s got to your head.”

I make a noise that makes him laugh before I roll my eyes. “Why are you even here? I thought you were supposed to be working late?”

“Finished early.”

I’m still glaring at him, incensed by his teasing. “What do you do? Mama asked, and I realized I don’t even know. How do I not know what the man I’m going to marry does for a living?”

“Rock band.”

My brows lift entirely of their own accord. “Say again.”

“I’m in a rock band, Sunshine. Might know us as Devils Heartbreak.”

“Devils Heartbreak?” I blink at him. “You’re shitting me. You guys are all over the place.”

“We’re climbing.”

“Climbing what? You’re already at the top.” I scowl at him again, deciding he’s messing with me again. “I don’t believe you. If you were in Devils Heartbreak, I’d know.”

Lifting my phone, I tap into the Google app and type Devils Heartbreak into the search bar. Instantly, I get image after image of the band. Most are of the lead singer, Cash Jagger—the one I associate with the band—but there are pics of Kane, too. In most, his tatted hands are strumming a guitar, his face sexy as sin as he focuses on playing.

No. Freaking. Way.

“Oh my God.” I peek up at him to find him watching me closely. “How didn’t I know this?”

He shrugs. “You recognized Cash.”

I feel guilty for that now. “I—um—I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“I’ve heard you play—I won’t lie, I’m not usually focused on the band on stage when I’m working. I’m usually mingling with others, taking orders, you know.” Argh, this is just sounding worse and worse.

“I get it, Sunshine. Don’t need to explain.”

I look back down to my phone, searching Kane specifically. Image after image of him with woman after woman appears. Candace’s comment about an STI moves to the front of my mind, and I feel something ugly swell in my chest.

He’s a player. A serious one if the internet is to be trusted.

I’ve already been played in the worst way.

I don’t think I’d survive finding that Kane had been unfaithful—even knowing that this thing we’ve agreed to be to each other is fake.

I feel nauseous.

Insecure.

Unsure.

Hurt. Why am I hurt?

Why does seeing him with these other women—women before me—hurt so much?

This isn’t real, Nevaeh. You have no real claim on the man. He’s rescuing you from a terrible future, and you’re serving a purpose for him, as well, by getting his mom off his back for the next year.

Jealousy has no place between us.

I back out of the app and tuck my phone up the sleeve of my sweater. I tell myself I’m going to ask him what he wants for dinner when something else entirely slips out. “You’re a player.”

I want to bury my head in a pile of sand and never come back up.

“I was a player.”

My eyes lift to his at the darkness in his tone. A shiver skates down my spine, because that same darkness is in his eyes now, too. “What does that mean?”

“We do this, we do it.”

I shake my head. “I don’t understand.”

“When I take you as my wife, I’ll be taking you as my wife, Nevaeh.” He wets his lips, moving closer as he elaborates. “I won’t fuck other women, and you won’t fuck any other man.”

Other men?But what about him? Nope. Nooo. I can’t go there. It’ll only complicate things.

“But we aren’t—we won’t—this won’t be real, so we won’t⁠—”

He doesn’t even crack a smile as he repeats, “I won’t fuck another woman, Sunshine. And you won’t fuck another man.”

With that, he turns and walks back the way he came. I hear the door to his room close a couple minutes later. A few minutes after that, I hear the shower turn on.

I finally release the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding as I slump on the couch, pulling my phone out of my sleeve to search for dinner recipes on Pinterest.