Chapter 25

25

Fenn's expression—shock and disbelief, followed quickly by raw hurt—was something Kate hoped she'd never have to see again.

"H-he's Marcus. The guy from the bar." She pressed a hand to her head. "I mean, he's not Marcus. He's… He was my fiancé," she mumbled lamely, her brain barely engaged.

Her fiancé, the man she'd mourned for years, the man she blamed herself for leaving behind, was alive.

Fenn recovered more quickly than she did. He holstered his Sig and gave Hawk a casual wave. "Yo."

When he turned to face her, his eyes shone with compassion. "Is this the guy you left behind? The one from that mission?"

The lump in her throat blocked her air. All she could do was nod.

Little things, the tightening of his mouth, the way he refused to meet her eyes, told her just how badly she'd rocked Fenn's world. Trained as he was in hiding his feelings, she could tell the affirmation blew him away.

But she couldn't let that distract her from the pressing need for answers. Whatever Fenn thought of her now, they could sort out later.

She turned to Hawk and spoke through gritted teeth. "The mission commanders told me you were dead. Did they know the truth? Why didn't you ever let me know? Didn't you realize the guilt I carried?"

Hawk held up a hand, motioning at Fenn. "Do you really want to go over our personal business in front of him?"

Kate rocked back on her heels. "He's my teammate. Whatever you need to say, you can say in front of him."

Fenn stepped forward, his expression carefully neutral. "Fenn Scarborough," he introduced himself formally to Hawk.

Hawk barely acknowledged him. "I'm aware."

Kate tried to make up for Hawk's rudeness. "This is Hawk Steele. He's Force Recon. I mean, was Force Recon." She looked at her former fiancé, searching for the man she'd loved beneath the years of weather and stress and the new scars.

Hawk responded carefully. "I've been on loan to another agency since Loaita Cay."

And then it clicked. "They disappeared you?"

"Exactly."

That one simple word kicked her straight in the chest. She struggled for breath. The government faked his death. And he went along, knowing it would destroy her.

She hugged herself hard, trying to stem the shaking. The feels. Fury. Relief. Grief. Shock. And yet more fury. "How could you do that to me?"

Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them back. She wouldn't break down, not here, not in front of Hawk and Fenn. She was stronger than that.

But it was hard, so hard, to keep herself together when all she wanted to do was scream and rage and cry.

She'd spent years mourning Hawk, blaming herself for his death. Guilt had tortured her, destroying any thoughts of a bright future. Of any future happiness.

"How could you?" she whispered again.

"We're soldiers, Kitty Cat. Or we were. The Nation asks and you answer. You know the drill."

His eyes softened, almost pleading, but when she remained silent, he shot Fenn another look. "We can discuss the personal deets later. For now, I just want you to know I had no idea they'd tell you I was dead. You had decent clearance at the time. I was told you'd be the only one who knew the truth. It wasn't until later—when you were recruited to BlackOut Squadron—that I found out you thought I was…" He shifted his weight. "Anyway. Lots to discuss. Later."

Her jaw dropped, her mind reeling. He'd known ? All this time, he'd known she thought he was dead, and he'd done nothing to correct it?

Fury surged through her, hot and fierce. She opened her mouth to speak, but Hawk cut her off, his voice urgent.

"I brought you here for a reason. But I'm going to have to explain quickly. People are after me. The storm'll delay them for a while, but I'm going to have to bring you and your boy up to speed. Quickly."

Kate's gaze snapped to Fenn, taking in his stunned expression. She could only imagine how he must be feeling, thrust into the middle of this emotional minefield.

"How do you want to play this?" Fenn asked her, his voice soft with compassion.

Tears stung her eyes. She blinked them back furiously and cleared her throat, her voice steady despite the turmoil raging inside her. "Mind if we sit?" she asked Hawk. "Then you can start from the beginning."

"Give me a sec." Hawk strode to the front door, his movements quick and efficient as he secured the lock and activated an alarm system. The beeping echoed in the vast space.

Fenn gestured at the blinking lights. "Something we should know, dude?"

Hawk grunted. "All will be revealed."

"It better be." Fenn did nothing to soften his tone.

Apparently satisfied that they were safe, at least for the moment, Hawk led them deeper into the warehouse, his footsteps echoing on the concrete floor. Kate followed, Fenn close by her side, as they made their way to a small office in the back corner. At least it was warm, a small heater humming by the plain desk.

Hawk moved behind the desk and pulled a chair close, patting it. "Here you go, Kitty Cat."

The old nickname grated on her nerves, a painful reminder of the past she'd left behind. She dragged the chair back to its original position, next to Fenn, and sat down, her eyes fixed on the man she thought she'd left for dead twelve years ago. "Start talking."