23. Kali

CHAPTER 23

Kali

One and done for me. Never again.

All that safety nonsense they kept spewing to us afterward was bullshit. That was not safe, and no one will ever be able to talk me into believing that. Paxton didn’t argue when I told him I needed a break. When he mentioned maybe leaving the park to get lunch, that was all I needed to turn around and head for the exit.

Bye bitches, I hope to never see you again.

My insides are still buzzing. From the window of the restaurant, I can see the green tip of the roller coaster we were stuck on, peeking over the neighboring buildings. I can’t believe that just happened. What are the chances? To make matters worse, I inhaled my hamburger and fries as if it were my last meal. Paxton still has half a burger left, and that’s mainly because he likes to watch me eat. It’s a little weird. Cute weird, but weird.

I glance at him. “Enjoying the show?” I tease, trying to shake off the lingering adrenaline.

He grins, not missing a beat. “I am. You eat like you’re savoring every bite, and it’s kind of adorable.” I roll my eyes, but I can’t help the smile tugging at my lips. He finally focuses on his own burger, only needing to take two more large bites before he’s finished.

“Are you okay with me being with a cop?” he asks, leaning back against his chair.

If he knew that my dreams of him begin with him in uniform— because holy hell, there’s something about a man in uniform —he’d know that I was okay with it. But I know being a cop is more than wearing a uniform and a badge. It’s dangerous, so I get that.

“Of course. Why?”

He takes a long pull from his beer before replying, and worry creeps in. Please don’t be looking for an out . “Women love the idea of being with a cop, a ‘ hot cop.’ ” He rolls his eyes and makes air quotes, making me snort. Glad I didn’t tell him about my dreams. “But then reality sets in and most women can’t handle it. I’ve had plenty of relationships end because it’s no longer sexy, it’s too difficult.”

I dip my fry into ketchup and think. There isn’t a woman alive who wouldn’t worry. But it’s never made me question if I could be with him. Of course, I haven’t been in the moment where I’m sitting at home worrying if my boyfriend is dead. I want to say I can handle that.

“Before we get further into this, it’s best we find out now,” he adds.

I pause, thinking about all the loss in my life. Would it break me to lose the man I loved, too? Yes. Do I fear the possibility of loss enough to make me back away?

“I didn’t think you would hesitate,” he says, worried. He’s lost just as much as I have, and he’s not backing away. Look at Pearl. She’s never given up on love, despite her many attempts. The feeling of love alone is worth it.

He’s worth it.

“Honestly, I like you more because you’re a police officer. It speaks volumes about your character. You put your life on the line every day, and for what? To save people. That’s pretty damn sexy.” His lips widen against his beer, and I wrinkle my nose. “And you’re pretty awesome at saving people.”

“You might be a little biased,” he teases, setting his beer on the table.

Speaking of saving me, I’ve wondered if being with me has any repercussions at his job. Do they know that we’re dating? Is it even allowed? He’s never mentioned otherwise, but then again, I’ve yet to meet his friends.

“You’re not going to get in trouble for dating me, are you?”

He shakes his head. “Anyone who has any problems with us being together can go take a hike.” He reaches for my hand, interlocking our fingers. The fire in his eyes and the ruggedness of his voice light a spark of desire through me, right down to my core.

“We should go,” I say.

There’s a hint of amusement in his expression as he licks his bottom lip. “I agree,” he says, reading me. He pulls out his wallet, dropping more than enough cash to cover the bill and tip. He shoots up and grabs my hand, not caring to wait for change. I chuckle to myself. At least he’s more excited about this than the roller coaster. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s cute how excited you get for all your rides.”

His laughter rings around the diner as we walk through it.

He holds the door open, and as I pass him, he murmurs, “Well, if this morning’s ride was a prelude for what’s coming, hold on tight, baby.”

As we step into the elevator, the steamy elevator scenes from the romance novels I’ve devoured lately flood my thoughts. I’ve always wanted to make out in an elevator. And I was a mere second away from attacking him in the empty elevator before a hand appeared, halting the closing doors. Really?! The man nods at both of us as his family of seven piles in. He has no idea what he just interrupted.

Paxton squeezes my hand with a knowing smile. He winks down at me, and I stifle a giggle. Once behind the closed door of our hotel room, Paxton scoops me up in his arms, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me to the bed and then gently lowers me and says, “I have something for you.” He walks over to his luggage and grabs something. “I was going to give it to you at dinner, but we might not leave the hotel room the rest of the night.” He stands between my legs and hands me a box. “Happy one-month anniversary.” Panic bubbles up in my chest. Was I supposed to get something for him?

I take the box and look up at him. “I’m a horrible girlfriend. I didn’t get you anything.”

“Kalico. You being here means more to me than anything you could’ve given me.”

He sounds genuine, but how can he be this perfect? “It’s so pretty,” I say, staring at the blue box.

“You haven’t even opened it yet,” he teases. “But I’m glad to learn that you like boxes.”

“I’d like anything you gave me.” I lift off the top, and there’s a delicate gold necklace with a tiny bat wings pendant. “It’s beautiful. I love it.”

He helps me put it on. I never thought a man could be this attentive. Remembering little things that meant so much to me, but figuring they were inconsequential moments to them. I hold the wings in between my fingers, remembering our little buddy on our first date and wondering how I got so lucky with Paxton, and then I chuckle to myself—it wasn’t luck at all.

It was fate.

“The necklace isn’t what’s beautiful. You are,” he whispers, putting his knee on the bed, bending over to capture my lips, his hand gliding through my hair.

I realize in this moment how hard it is for me to let go and let him in completely, as the wall around my heart has been built by countless betrayals and silent scars of broken promises. There’s fear he could wake up tomorrow and leave me like everyone else has in my life. It’s not being alone that I fear, it’s rejection.

But he’s slowly breaking down that wall.

I want to let go.

To trust him.

When he stands up, our gaze holds for a silent beat. Mine is a silent plea for a promise. His desire and need. He’s here, Kali. Let him in.

His fingers play with the edge of my shirt, brushing against my bare waist, and I lift my arms so he can pull it up over my head. After he tosses my shirt to the side, I undo his buckle and unbutton his shorts. In one tug, he yanks off his shirt and then grabs my hand, pulling me onto my feet.

He trails kisses up my neck. “Tell me you want this as much as I do,” he says, a hint of desperation in his voice.

“I want this,” I whisper, my voice trembling with emotion. “I want you.”

He lowers, pressing his lips to mine in a kiss that’s both tender and demanding. As his hands move to unclasp my bra, I shiver, not from the cold air blowing but from the anticipation and the raw, unfiltered need coursing through me. Biting his bottom lip, he watches as he slides the white lace bra off. A slow growl emits from the back of his throat, and he bends to take one of my boobs into his mouth.

“I’ve wanted to do this since the day you stripped in front of me at my cabin.”

I playfully gasp. “I was in a vulnerable state.” Did I really think I had a tracking device inserted somewhere? Fear made me do silly things.

He flashes a quick grin. “That’s why I didn’t. But I wanted to.” Next, he pulls my shorts off, dropping to his knees as he does it. I run my fingers through his curls, loving how they feel. “You are the most exquisite woman I’ve ever seen.”

I don’t believe him. I’m average. A five, at best. That doesn’t equal exquisite.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.

I wrinkle my nose. “I’m just…” I’ve always been okay with being average until this moment where I have to explain how average I am. My cheeks heat from embarrassment.

“Do you trust me?”

“With my life,” I respond.

“Then trust I know what I’m talking about.” He kisses my belly, and then his tongue skims the top of my panties. Desire tingles around my spine, the air around us electrifies, the current lighting a fire to my insecurities. Let go . “Trust…” Fingers brush against my swollen center. “Me…” I gasp as he pushes aside my panties and runs his finger through my wetness.

“I do,” I breathe out, panting and begging.

“Good girl,” he says, slipping one finger inside me. He lets out a curse and slams his mouth onto my clit. “So fucking wet for me.” He sucks and pumps his finger at the same time, and I grip his hair, needing something to hold on to. Frustrated that my panties are in the way, he shoves them down and pushes me onto the bed. I fall back, and he presses my legs wide open, jumping right back where he left off. His tongue drags to my center and then inside my wetness. My hips buck at the sensation of his tongue fucking me.

Never has a man made me orgasm with his mouth, let alone like this. His tongue inside me . The ache between my legs builds, every nerve ending ready to explode. The knot of heat in my lower belly grows, and I try to push away from his mouth because I don’t know if that’s what he wants.

Foreplay is new to me.

But he wraps his arms around my legs and keeps me pinned against his mouth. His tongue doesn’t skip a beat and continues to push me toward the edge I’m teetering on.

The vibration of his hum pushes me over.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Pax!” I scream, fisting the comforter as a gush of heat bursts out of me and he moans with me. My hips buck against his mouth, my eyes roll back, and I ride the wave of my orgasm. Stars fill my vision. My breaths shallow. What just happened? Does it always feel that way?

He stands with a wicked grin and drops his shorts and underwear together. His large cock springs loose, and my eyes widen. I’m not a virgin, but I have doubts that thing will fit.

He chuckles when he notices my expression. “I told you, this is one ride you’ll never forget.”

He grabs a condom out of his pocket and rips off the corner of the foil. I watch as he rolls it down his shaft. Watching him touch himself stirs the heat inside me. I lick my lips. I’ve never begged for sex, but at this moment, I think I’d do anything to feel him inside me. The bed shifts when he climbs on it, and I bend my knees so he’s situated at my entrance. His fingers brush the inside of my thighs as he widens my legs, taking a heated look at my center.

He runs the head of his dick up and down my center, and I flinch when he rubs my oversensitive clit. “I’m afraid if I put it in right now, I’ll come too fast. But…” He growls. “I want to be inside you.”

The muscles in his biceps flex, and his chest rises and falls. It’s empowering to see what I’m doing to him. Testing his control and watching it slip. I’m doing that .

With a surge of confidence, I lift my hips up, rubbing against him. “I want to feel you inside me. Fuck me.”

“Damn,” he moans and slides his cock inside me.

“Oh shit!” I scream, fisting the blanket again as he fills me entirely. He gives me a moment to adjust to his size, biting back his smile. I blink at the full sensation, a mixture of pain and pleasure.

“You good?” he teases, eyes bright.

Cocky bastard. “Just waiting at the top for the ride to start.”

He throws his head up and stares at the ceiling for a moment. His Adam’s apple bobs. When his eyes reach mine, there’s a delicious wickedness in them that almost makes me have another orgasm.

Hands on my hips, gripping tight, he moves in and out. His eyes never waver from mine as if he’s memorizing my every whimper and moan, adjusting his movement based on them. When he hits the spot—the one that makes me scream out—it’s like he hit a bull’s-eye. My core clenches and heat builds again.

“That’s it, baby,” he says, pressing his thumb on my enlarged clit and increasing his tempo, hitting his target every time until my moans are constant and I’m screaming his name again.

He bends over on top of me. It feels more intimate this close, his face an inch above mine. I don’t know what’s more intimate than having sex with someone, but this, it’s raw and laced with possibilities. The unspoken promises that I needed before.

“I like hearing my name come out of your mouth when my dick is inside you.” He grinds his hips into me, slow at first, but he picks up his pace, thrusting with urgency as he chases his orgasm over the edge. His body hardens, twitches, and my hair muffles his moans. Both of our chests heave against each other, and I wrap my arms around his back.

The air conditioner hums to life, sending a blissful chill over our sweaty bodies. We lie there, letting the cool air and passing seconds calm our racing hearts.

That was definitely a ride I won’t ever forget.

He lifts his head, pressing his forehead against mine, and murmurs, “You fit me perfectly, Kalico.”

I blink back a couple tears, not wanting him to see me get emotional. I’ve always heard that guys hate that. But I’ve never been a good fit for anyone, so I have to force those words to seep through my thick skin.

“I’m crazy about you,” he whispers, and then kisses me gently on the lips. He lets them linger there a moment before he looks back up, winks, and rolls off me to head to the bathroom.

For the first time in my adult life, I feel treasured. The sex was incredible…as is the man I had sex with. I don’t feel cheap but adored. It’s liberating . For so long, I was afraid to get into a relationship because of my past. Afraid of being used.

Somehow, Paxton keeps setting me free.

“My turn for a question.” I press my cheek against his warm, bare chest, his heartbeat a comforting steady rhythm as his thumb traces gentle circles on my back. Every sensation is heightened after our amazing sex. I might as well have been a virgin because my teenage sex was nothing like that. That was like an itch to scratch. This was an exploration of the body, sensual and emotional. Addicting.

“Okay,” he says lazily.

“Are you okay with being with a woman who will never go on a roller coaster again?”

His stomach trembles with quiet laughter beneath my touch. I squeal as he rolls us over and hovers above me. “As long as you never stop riding this, I think I can handle it.”

A pang of guilt surges through me. I’m irritated the thought pops up right now. It has to be because of how close we’re getting or that I’ve been hiding something from him.

Trust goes both ways.

“Damn woman.” He pushes up with a quizzical expression. “That was not the response I was expecting. Did you not enjoy yourself? By the sounds you made, you’re either a fantastic actor or?—”

“You were amazing,” I interject, halting his words as I cup his worried face. “There’s just…something I haven’t told you.” I attempt to squirm out from underneath him.

He shakes his head, pinning me in place. “What is it, Kali?”

I blow out a breath. “Right before I was kidnapped, like a week before…” I hesitate, nibbling on my lip as I focus on a single freckle on his neck. Why is this so difficult? It’s not like it’s a bad thing, and there’s a chance he already knows. “I won the lottery,” I blurt out and watch his reaction as he blinks, opens his mouth, and then shuts it again. Yeah, it was a surprise for me too.

“Did you tell Martinez?” he finally asks. There’s no competition between the two, so why is he worried about that? When I give him a quizzical look, he adds, “This might have something to do with you getting kidnapped.”

I totally misread that. “He knows. The lottery ticket was in my bra, buried with me, so I kind of freaked out when I couldn’t find my clothes.”

“That’s why you were moving to Austin with nothing set up?” I nod. “I don’t understand. Why were you afraid to tell me?”

I let my hands fall to the sides and shrug. “It’s still hard for me to believe, and most of the time, I don’t even remember myself.”

His brows perk up in surprise. “You don’t remember being a millionaire?”

“With everything that has happened, and you and college coming up, it’s there in the background, more of a safety net than a fixture. If that makes sense.”

He kisses my forehead and rolls to my side. “It makes perfect sense. And I’m glad you weren’t going to tell me you were moving or something like that.”

I mirror his position, rolling to my side and propping my head up on my hand. “That would be rude. Here, let’s have sex, but…bye.”

He chuckles. “I would’ve hunted you down,” he teases.

“Oh yeah?” I reply in amusement. “And then what?”

“I’d make love to you until you changed your mind.”

“That sounds horrible.” I lick my lips before saying, “Did I forget to tell you I’m moving to Florida?”

He falls on me, and I laugh out loud as he says, “The hell you are.”