Chapter 3

Raven

W e all stumble out of the confessional booth and almost crash into Hunter.

"Have fun, did we?" Hunter accuses in a teasing tone.

I huff out a breath and stand up straight, brushing the hair out of my face. His eyes drop to my tits, which are very much still hanging out of the dress. "Fuck," I mutter and tuck them away.

"Shame," he sighs. "I was enjoying the view."

"Sorry, man. No time for that. We got a baby to take care of," Taylor says, clapping him on the shoulder.

"You only say that because you just got laid," Hunter grumbles.

"You could have all of this," I offer, waving my hand over my body. "Anytime you want. You're the ones who've been holding me at arm's length."

"Is the nun costume included?" Hunter wiggles his eyebrows.

"Only if you're a good boy." I wink.

"I'm never a good boy." He gives me a blank look.

"Then you have your answer." I grin.

"You're mean." He pouts. "And the only reason none of us are getting any action apart from the very PG 13 fondling we've been doing is because Link threatened to kill us if we touched you," Hunter explains, crossing his arms.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask, blinking at him a few times.

"Hunter..." Travis says in a warning tone.

"Oh, don't Hunter me. You're the one who asked me to help you two set this little fuck fest up. We're all going out of our damn minds having to use our hands to get off. Just because he's freaking the fuck out doesn't mean we all have to suffer."

"What are you talking about?" I ask, anger simmering inside me.

Hunter looks at me and licks his lips. "After we found out you were pregnant, Link cornered us all and said he would chop off our dicks–a threat you two seem to have in common–if any of us touched you. That it would be putting the baby at risk. So, it freaked us all out because we didn't want anything to happen. But as time went on, we did some reading and as long as we don't do anything crazy, sex is safe while pregnant."

"I could have told you that," I growl. "You mean I haven't been getting any because Link is paranoid?"

"You have to remember, Raven, Link took the loss of our angel baby harder than any of us. It's why he did the crazy shit he did. I can't begin to try and understand his mind, but he didn't warn us off just to be an asshole. He really is afraid. Why do you think he's been keeping his distance? It has nothing to do with being mad at you, or not wanting to be around you. He knows that he has the hardest time keeping his instincts under control. He can't act on them if he's not around."

My whole body deflates, and my eyes sting.

"Why doesn't he just talk about it with me? I'd understand. Maybe if he gave me the chance to explain things–"

"It won't help," Hunter interrupts. "You can tell Link all the things in the world. But it won't change anything. He is who he is. Once he gets something in his mind, there's no changing the way he thinks about it."

"It's not fair!" I shout. "I love his stupid, stubborn, crazy ass. It's killing me that he won't touch me, won't come near me. I miss him." Tears begin streaming down my face. I hate this. I love Link so damn much. I know he's complicated and I see now that the loss of our baby was hard on him. I wish I could take away his worry, his pain. But I can't do anything if he puts this barrier between us.

"I know." Hunter pulls me into his arms. "And I agree. Things need to change. He needs to snap out of this. But, baby, I don't think talking things out is going to work with him."

"You could always give him a taste of his own medicine," Taylor pipes up.

"What do you mean?" I sniff, wiping my eyes and looking over at him.

"He's always demanding shit, using his big boy voice. If he doesn't listen, make him."

Huh. Well, that's something I could try.

"What is taking everyone so long!" Quinton's voice calls out over a screaming little one.

Shit. Andrew. I rush toward the door, where Q is standing, Andrew in his arms. His little face is red, tears streaming down his face.

"Hey, baby boy," I coo, hating to see him like this. "It's okay. Mama is here." I reach out to brush his black hair out of his face and pause. "Shit." I look down at my outfit and remember what's dripping down my legs. I will not hold my baby in this state.

Thankfully, the tears stop and his crying slows to a little hiccup. "How do you do it?" Q sighs. "Just the sound of your voice and everything is good."

"I'm magic." I laugh. "And he just loves his mama that much, don't you, sweet baby boy?"

Andrew smiles, and my heart explodes. I love this little man so much. He's become my everything. Sometimes, I stay up at night, watching him sleep and wonder how someone could choose to not have him in their life, that other things are worth more than his precious little soul.

We get into the car, and I take the back seat so I can sit next to Andrew and keep him calm. Quinton and Hunter take the front, while the twins take the car they drove here.

"Nice outfit," Q compliments, pulling out of the church parking lot.

"Thanks." I laugh. "Hunter gave it to me. So, if Link is so against any of this, how were you able to get the time away to make this happen." Even if Link's been keeping his distance, he's always got his eye on me in some way.

"Some shit just happens to be going on at the warehouse that needed his attention." Hunter looks at me over his shoulder with a cheeky grin to wink at me.

"Of all the things, why this?" I ask. "The nun and priest get-ups, I mean."

"That would be the twin's request. Don't look at me. They're the kinky fuckers," he chuckles.

"How did you get the whole church to be empty, though?"

"Really, babe?" Hunter questions. "We own this town. We ask for something, they do it. No questions."

"Point taken, but you're going to send someone to clean it up, right?" I ask, biting my lower lip.

"Is a clean up needed?" Q grins.

"Fuck off," I mutter. "You've all fucked me. Is it ever a clean event?"

They look at each other. "Point taken," Q mimics my response from before. "We will send someone over. Maybe scrub it down in holy water because I damn well know whatever happened in there wasn't godly at all."

I grin. "Nope. It was downright sinful."

AN HOUR LATER, I'M showered, dressed, and sitting on the living room couch at Safe Haven. Mom has Andrew in her arms as she baby talks to him and dances around the living room, making him giggle.

Things at Safe Haven have gotten a lot more quiet in the past month. The town the guys bought was set up for living within two months.

By the time the last family left, I could tell that this world wasn't for them. It's not what they grew up knowing, so the town they moved to will give them a chance to get a bit of their old lives back without being controlled by sick and twisted men.

The only ones still here are Leah and Jack. Leah still isn't ready to leave, and the moms told her she's welcome to stay as long as she likes. That this is her and Jack's home too.

"How are you doing, sweetheart?" Rachel, Link and Hunter's mom asks, taking a seat on the couch next to me.

"I'm doing okay." I smile back, putting a hand on my belly.

She follows the movement and smiles. "I knew this day would come."

"What day?"

She looks up at me. "That you'd start a family with the boys. And yes, all of them because we knew from early on that none of them were willing to give you up."

"Took them long enough to make me theirs." I laugh.

"I don't think so," she replies. "They knew the life they lived. They didn't want to throw you into it until you were ready. They didn't want to rob you of the things you deserved."

I nod my head. I know all this now. "How do you feel about it? What they do? Who they are? I know you all have run from that kind of life."

She shakes her head. "No, not that kind of life. What our boys do might not be right in the eyes of society, but they are good men to the core. They would never hurt someone who didn't deserve it. The people we ran from? They were truly sick and evil." She gives me a sad look. "Your mom. She's so worried about you. But I know our boys will keep you safe."

"She knows?" I ask, eyes widening a bit. I know the guys keep a lot from their moms, no real details or anything. They're just smart women and know enough of what's going on for the most part.

She nods. "The boys asked her questions, to find out everything she knew about your father. She gave the information willingly, of course, knowing it had to be important if they were asking. But she asked if you were in danger, and while Link was quick to say no, Hunter knew that they're not god. And with what has happened in your past and with their father, they know something could always happen. They didn't go into details, of course, just enough to know that your father, after all these years, is coming for you. The one thing she's tried to avoid for so long."

I look over at my mom, my heart aching. The things she had to go through being with him, the things she's had to sacrifice to get us away and safe. My mom is the best, I love her so much, and all I want to do is be as strong and brave as she is. I smile as she kisses Andrew's cheeks, making him squeal and giggle.

"Why is your son such an asshole?" I ask, swinging my gaze back to Rachel.

She bursts out laughing, a really musical laugh. "Oh, boy." She catches her breath. "I don't think I could answer that one. Link is... well, Link."

"I know," I mutter, leaning back on the couch. "And I love him, for exactly who he is. But he's been a lot more dickish lately. I miss him."

"I know, honey." She places her hand on my knee, giving it a squeeze. "But if anyone could get him to smarten up, even just the smallest bit, it's you."

"At this point, I'll try anything. Because he can't avoid me forever."

"Avoid you?" she asks, brows furrowing

"Yeah. He's hardly home, we don't talk much, and he hasn't touched me–and I don't mean sexually–since the night they found out about the baby."

"Ahhh." She nods her head. "I got you."

"Do you know something I don't?"

She chews on her lip, looking like she's not sure what she can tell me. She sighs. "He loves you, Raven. No, love doesn't even come close to what he feels for you. You're it for him. His whole life, his humanity, his everything. That boy is so far gone for you, he would burn the world down for you."

"I know." I can't help but smile.

"But losing your baby, while I don't see him much, I know he hasn't handled it well from what Hunter has told me. I don't agree with what he did, going behind your back with the pregnancy tests. But I truly believe that he thought that this would make everything better. I don't think he was trying to replace the baby you lost, but the pain that losing them caused."

Fuck. There's so much about this man that I don't know. I don't understand, but every piece of it just makes me love him more.

"He came to me. The night after you all found out you were pregnant again."

"He did?" my brows furrow.

"I've never seen him so... lost? Link has never been one to share his feelings, to open up but I could tell something was eating at him. And I saw fear in his eyes. He's not avoiding you because he wants to. He's afraid he will hurt you or the baby. And if he was the cause of losing another one, I don't think he would be able to handle it. As much as the idea of living in a world without you isn't an option, I think living in a world where he was the reason for your pain, is a lot worse in his mind. He already blames himself for what his father did. He wouldn't come back from that."

And now I'm crying again. She gives me a side hug and kisses the top of my head. I don't say anything because I don't know what to say. I know I could never talk to Link about this. He wouldn't give it the time of day. What I need to do is find a way to show him that everything will be okay.