Chapter 1

Raven

" H as anyone seen Andrew's soother?" I shout as I frantically search through the diaper bag. "I swear to god if it's lost, that little man is going to lose his head more than he already has." Andrew has been screaming for the past fifteen minutes. I hate hearing him cry, we all do. He's spoiled rotten and none of us care one single bit. With his shitty start to life, that little man deserves the whole world.

When I realize there's no more heartbreaking baby cries coming from his room where I've left him sitting in the crib, I pause. Panic fills me, wondering why he has stopped all of a sudden when Hunter steps out ofthe room. "All good, little mama." Hunter grins as he bounces a red eyed Andrew in his arms.

I sigh in relief and smile at how downright adorable the two of them are. Seeing my rough and tough tattooed killer boyfriends with our son will never get old. I've never seen someone go from a murderous glare to a puddle of goo as fast as these guys do.

"You're my hero," I tell him, leaning up on my tiptoes to kiss him. He groans as I run my fingers through his newly cut hair.

I miss his long locks, but I understand why he cut it. He was always putting it into a ponytail because Andrew's little chubby hands were constantly getting a hold of it. That boy has a killer grip; even I felt Hunter's pain when Andrew got a good tug in.

Hunter hated how he looked with his hair styled like that, so he just cut it off. It's now shaved on the side and short and messy on the top.

He also bleached it white, choosing not to go back to his signature electric blue. He still looks sexy as fuck, though.

"Hi, sweet boy," I coo to Andrew, brushing my finger along his soft cheek. "Where did you find it?" I ask Hunter.

"It was wedged between the crib and the mattress. We've got to get more of these things. He loses his mind if he doesn't have it."

"I know," I groan. "But they stopped making this kind. Would it be too much if we hit up every store that still had stock available and buy them out?"

"Nope." He grins. "I'll do it after we get back from the church."

The church. Never thought I'd go into one of those.

We're not religious people. I've never gone to church a day in my life. Not even to watch someone get married or for a funeral.

But Quinton has a family tradition that everyone in his family gets christened as a baby, despite how little they practice the religion. Because it's very important to him, and Andrew is his blood, I didn't argue with him.

"Come on," I sigh, grabbing the diaper bag. "Let's get this done and over with."

We make it to the bottom of the stairs at the exact time Link walks into the house. Like a gravitational pull, our eyes meet.

My heart skips as my belly flutters at the intensity of his stare.

"Little Bird." His raspy deep voice has my nipples pebbling against my bra. Damn pregnancy hormones.

"Asshole," I snark back, lifting my chin as I cross my arms.

Hunter chuckles behind us, used to Link's new nickname.

Link, however, just shoots me a glare. "How's our little man?"

"Good."

"How's our baby bird?" Ugh, why does he have to call the baby that? It's fucking sweet, and I'm still pissed off at this dickhead.

It's been two months since we found out I'm pregnant. Since I found out Link was secretly taking my fucking blood for pregnancy tests without me knowing. Like I knew the fucker was crazy, but come on.

He knew I wasn't ready, but did it anyway. I'm not mad about the life growing inside me, not at all. I don't regret getting pregnant. I just wish I had more time to deal with the trauma of our angel baby and for our lives to slow down a little bit before we tried again.

The fact that my father is still MIA to the world is also very fucking stressful for all of us.

That also means that it's been two months of me not dealing with my feelings regarding Link's actions.

After I had my break-down and cried in their arms, I picked myself up and had the night to myself. After I had some time to process, I realized that while I am very terrified of losing this baby too, I am also beyond excited. I put my hand on my belly and cried, already feeling so much love for it.

With having a new little baby already born and depending on us, all I could do was pull myself together and move forward.

I became so focused on Andrew, getting my high school diploma, and making sure I was taking care of myself to keep Baby Bird safe and healthy that I've avoided dealing with Link.

For the most part, things between the rest of the guys and me have been the same. They are all amazing daddies who deal with blowouts, screaming matches, and sleepless nights.

They treat me like a queen, making sure I'm loved and cared for as well. They've been my rock through all of this.

Now, that it's summer, I can officially say that I finished school and graduated alongside Hunter, which just happened last week. I was surprised they let us walk across the stage with the other students. I was even more surprised that Link actually let me go out in the open like that.

Probably because every single Black Venom Crew member was in attendance, armed and ready to take down anyone who so much as looked at me wrong. Makes sense why the girls who used to fuck with me didn't so much as acknowledge my existence.

"Baby Bird is also fine." I miss Link. And I hate that it hurts to look at him sometimes. For the most part, I love the crazy shit they do. I've never had an issue with the way they take control or make decisions without my permission when it comes to me and my life. But this... this was one step too far. And the fact is, it feels like Link was trying to replace our angel baby with Baby Bird. I could be wrong, I could be overthinking it, but out of all the guys, he never seemed to grieve over the loss. He just became fixated on knocking me up again.

I know he was only trying to help in his own fucked up way. But for once, it wasn't what was right for me.

The thing with Link is, you can argue with the man until you're blue in the face, but in his mind, he knows best and there's no convincing him otherwise.

That's why I know I can't keep this up between us. I can't live without him, and he will never apologize because in his mind, he did nothing wrong. I know that, and I've accepted that. I love him despite his flaws. He's already surprised me by the bit of humanity he's shown towards the babies and me; I don't and won't expect much more than that.

I know, it might sound fucked up and toxic, but no one understands these guys like I do. I can't even begin to explain our love or how it works. It just is, and I don't care. I don't mind.

"Have you eaten?" he asks, brows furrowing.

"Yes. What I was able to keep down, anyway." Morning sickness has been a fickle bitch that I am more than happy with seeing fuck right off.

"Are you okay?" I shiver at the worry in his tone.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" He takes another step forward, raising his hand like he's going to touch me but pauses mid-air. My gaze flicks over to his hand and the specks of blood that paint it.

"Really?" I shoot him an unimpressed look. "We're about to go to our son's christening and you couldn't even wash the blood off your hands from whatever sleazy scum you rid the world of."

"You said to be home by three. So, I'm home by three," he growls. "Don't push your luck with me, Raven. I'm already strung so fucking tight that I'm about to snap. The only reason why I haven't bent you over my fucking knee and punished you for being so damn stubborn is because you're pregnant."

I take a step forward, eyes locked with his. "Do it," I taunt him. "Put me over your knee and spank me like the naughty girl you're so convinced I am." I know he won't. That's the biggest change I've noticed about him. Out of all the guys, he's been the one to treat me like I'm glass. I fucking hate it. Where's the guy who wrapped his fingers around my neck and choked me as he fucked me like a savage.

The man who made me gag on his cock in front of his whole crew?

It's part of the reason why we haven't moved past what he did. He won't talk about it. Talking about feelings isn't something Link does, ever . That's on top of the fact that he has been avoiding me, for the most part. When he's not avoiding me, he's treating me like a breakable doll.

How did we go from fucking every day to nothing in months ? Fucking months.

If I didn't know this man as well as I do, I'd be worried he's been out fucking around, since he can't seem to live without sex. Or at the very least, taking it out on Quinton. But when I asked Q about it, he promised me they hadn't done anything other than their little show for my benefit. Not that I'd be opposed to it. I don't mind them having a relationship within our group.

The air crackles between the two of us as my breathing turns into quick little pants. I want him to take me in his arms, to spin me around and shove me over the couch, force his cock into me and make me scream.

The old Link would. But this one? He blinks, breaking our little stare off and takes a step back. "I'll go wash up."

He steps around me, and I close my eyes, willing the tears to fuck off.

"You okay, Dove?" Travis asks me, wrapping his arms around me from behind. I sigh, leaning back into his touch as he places his hands on my belly and kisses my temple.

"Not really. But I will be," I murmur.

"Be patient with him," he tells me. "I know it might be hard to believe based on his actions, but I think he took the loss of our angel baby harder than all of us. At least, out of us guys. You don't see how he is when you're not around. He's grieving. And while I know he's not sorry for knocking you up, he's just as worried about Baby Bird."

The back of my eyes sting. "I just wish he would talk to me."

"I know." He rubs my little baby bump. "But he's Link. And this is who he is."

"I know," I mimic back. I've known from the beginning that there is no changing Link and if I went into a relationship with him expecting to try, I would be only disappointed. But the fact is, I don't want to change him. I love him for exactly who he is. It's just hard sometimes when I don't know what I might get from him.

"Everyone ready to go?" Quinton asks as he steps through the front door. "Car seat is all set up, just need his diaper bag."

"Andy texted and said she was on her way. So did our moms," Taylor tells us.

"Alright, little man," Hunter says, lifting Andrew up over his head. "Who's excited to be a crossdresser for the day." Andrew gives him some happy baby babbles that make me laugh.

"What the fuck?" Taylor looks at Hunter like he's got three heads. "What the fuck are you talking about? The fuck you mean ‘crossdresser'?"

Hunter hands Andrew over to Quinton and grins at Taylor. "He's gonna be in a dress."

I roll my eyes. "It's a christening gown."

"A gown is a dress, am I wrong?" He swings his amused, playful grin over to me.

"Doesn't matter. There's nothing wrong with being a crossdresser. And if one day Andrew ended up being one then we'd love him anyway," Quinton declares, kissing Andrew's cheek. "Yes, we would. No matter what, we love you. Who you are, who you love, as long as you're happy, that's all that matters."

Ugh, my fucking heart. These men are my everything.

Fifteen minutes later, we're at the church. My mom as well as the guys' moms are there, and as soon as they see Andrew, he's passed around to be smothered with love from his Nanas.

"So, I have a question for you..." I say to Andy as everyone is busy chatting before the ceremony starts.

"And what might that be?" she asks, lips twitching with a smile.

"While I'm not big into religion, this stuff is important to Quinton. So, that means it's important to me. A big thing in the Catholic religion is godparents."

Andy's smirk falls, replaced by shock. "Hold the fuck up. Are you asking what I think you're asking?"

"Well, if you would let me finish, I guess we would find out." I laugh. "Andy, would you do us the honor of being Andrew's godmother?"

"Are you kidding me?" She breaks into a massive grin. "I'd fucking love to!" She grabs me and pulls me into a hug. I laugh, hugging her back. We've found our way back to how things used to be, and now, we hardly go a day without seeing each other. She came over all the time to study with Hunter and me. It was mostly to cuddle Andrew, but who can blame her?

"Paws off my baby," Link growls, stepping behind Andy.

Andy lets go of me like I'm a hot stone and steps away. Poor girl is still scared shitless of Link. I don't blame her. I know what the dickhead said to her. And while I told her more than once that I'd never allow him to hurt her or her dad, it didn't make her feel any better. Another thing I don't blame her for. Because at the end of the day, while I have a lot of say with Link, he still does what he wants.

"She's not touching your baby. She was hugging me." I glare at Link, annoyance filling me.

"My baby is in you, therefore, she's touching my baby." He holds my stare, and I just want to slap him.

"You're crazy," I mutter.

"And your point is?" he counters dryly.

"Sometimes, I just want to wrap my fucking hands around your neck and squeeze," I snarl, taking a step towards him until we're toe to toe.

"Do it," he dares me. "I'd love to see you try."

"As much as I love your fucked up foreplay," Taylor interrupts, "the priest is ready to start."

We stare at each other for a moment longer before the jackass gives me the smallest smirk and turns away.

"I need to get laid," I mumble and Andy snorts out a laugh.

"I mean, I wouldn't judge you for fucking in a church."

"Not what I meant." I laugh.

"I'm sure your harem of men wouldn't have any issues fulfilling your needs," she grins.

You would think that, right? While the guys haven't been as bad as Link, they've also been handling me with care, like if they fuck me the way they normally would, they're going to hurt me.

The doctor had already said that sex is fine. Normal. Safe. That my pregnancy isn't high risk, and the reason I lost our angel baby was because of the accident.

Last night, I freaked out. Told them if they didn't start fucking me like they used to, I'd chop all their dicks off.

It was a heat of the moment threat, but come on! I'm hornier than I've ever been, and I've lost my endless supply of orgasms.

Not that I haven't been getting them, they still get me off plenty. But it's not the same. It's not who they are, who we are.

Hopefully, my little freak out gave them something to think about.

The ceremony goes by a lot quicker than I thought it would. Maybe a half hour goes by, and then our moms are getting photos with Andrew and us before leaving.

Being the last ones in the church, I start making my way outside, following Andy and Quinton, when Hunter walks back through the front door and stops me.

"You're not going anywhere," he tells me.

"Ahh, why the hell not?" I ask.

He gives me this mischievous look that screams he's up to no good.

"Do you trust me?" he asks.

"With my life," I say intently. "Why?" I still have my suspicions. He is definitely up to no good.

"We're going to leave but you're going to stay here. I want you to take these." He holds out a pile of what looks to be clothes. "And you're going to go into the bathroom and change into them. Then come back out here."

"What? Why? What is this?"

"No questions. Just trust me. Go get changed. I promise you're going to love it." He grins so damn wide, I'm not sure if I should be excited or afraid. He grabs me by the back of the neck and kisses me hard. He pulls back and spins me around, giving my ass a hard slap. "Now, be a good girl and do as you're told, little mama." Then he nudges me forward.

I glare at him over my shoulder, but he just winks. Shaking my head, I head towards the bathroom.

Fuck it, what do I have to lose.

When I get into the bathroom, I place the pile of clothes on the sink and start to look through them. Is this a black dress? And... a headpiece? What the... and then it clicks.

"No fucking way." I snort out a surprised laugh. "They wouldn't."

Curiosity mixed with anticipation has me rushing to get dressed. As soon as I have everything on, I look at myself in the mirror and gape at my reflection. Yup. It's exactly what I thought it was. A slutty nun costume. Ironic, seeing how I'm the complete opposite of what is a nun is expected to be. Leave it to the guys, though. Why am I surprised? "Now, why the hell am I expected to wear this?" What is Hunter up to? Or the guys?

I have no clue, but I guess I'm about to find out.