CHAPTER THIRTEEN

MAV

Fuck. I'm clearly not the man I used to be, because I've never been affected by a woman's tears, but making Lucy cry is not my proudest moment. Was I hate fucking her? I kind of was, but it wasn't about her. It was honestly a culmination of everything. Getting sucked off by two dudes when I'm not gay. And yes, I'm aware that I sound just like fucking Pretty Boy, but I actually mean it. And then watching Stella make Lucy come like I'm certain I never have. I needed to remind her that she's mine and I'm not letting her go. If she decides she likes pussy more than dick, well, too fucking bad. Both women mean a great deal to me, but there's something about Lucy that I can't fucking live without. We all are happy together. But if we can't work out this jealousy shit, we're going to lose them both.

Three sets of wide eyes stare at me as I tell them, "I'm going to talk to her."

Stella looks conflicted, like she's wondering if it should be me or her that goes to Lucy.

I hold my hand up to tell her to stop, and she nods. "I fucking broke it and I'll be the one to fix it."

I expect her to be upset since she has already been crying. I can even handle an angry chick throwing shit at me, yeah, it's happened a time or two in my life. The one thing I can't fucking handle is what's now before my eyes. Lucy has a bag sitting on the bed, and she sniffles with her back to me, as she shoves shit into it. Is she leaving me? Leaving us? I should be asking why, but my brain is in panic mode, as I consider all the ways I can prevent her from leaving. Fuck. What have we done?

We kidnapped her, did depraved shit to her, and then fucking brought her home? It has never been easier for her to decide she doesn't want this than it is right now. This fucking trip was a goddamn mistake.

"Lucy," I bark out in a far more harsh tone than I intend, and she jumps and spins around with her hand over her chest. "Mav, you scared me."

Should she be scared? Maybe a bit because I'm a man desperate to keep her, and I will stop at nothing to make that happen.

"Going somewhere, baby?"

Her wide eyes go from me to the door, then back to me as I chuckle. "You can try, but I guarantee my legs are faster."

She grabs the hem of her shirt, rubbing on the stitching feverishly. "Mav, you have to let me go."

Those words from her do nothing to ease the panic rising in my chest. "Why would I do that?"

A tear runs down her cheek. "This isn't normal, Mav. My parents were right."

This is about those fuckers? You've got to be kidding me. I wouldn't have let Gage or Sebastian kill them, but if they cost me Lucy, that will be it. I'm not Gage, I don't take murder lightly. As far as I'm concerned, taking her from me is the worst crime any person can commit.

"Lucy, I'm going to need you to explain."

She lowers herself to sit on the bed, and stares at the picture of a field of wildflowers on the wall. "I was a good girl, Mav, before this, and this isn't me. I don't want to be the whore you three have turned me into. I want something real. A husband, children."

Her words, ‘I want something real,' echo in my head repeatedly like a taunt.

I'm quiet for about thirty seconds before I snap, "Is this not fucking real? Goddamn it, Lucy. What are we to you? A fucking game?"

STELLA

Mav said he went to fix whatever was wrong with Lucy, but when I hear his booming voice, I begin to become concerned.

"Is this not fucking real? Goddamn it, Lucy. What are we to you? A fucking game?"

I glance at Gage and Sebastian, who sit on the bed with a look of dread plastered on their faces.

I need to make sure she's okay. Walking out into the hallway, both my men follow me as I hear Mav's pained voice again.

He chuckles loudly, but it's not sincere, it's angry. "Was this your revenge? Make the dumb big guy fall hopelessly in love with you and ditch him? You showed me, didn't you? I guess I deserve it after what I did to you."

As we approach the room, finally we hear Lucy's response, "No! It's not like that. Yes, you probably would deserve it but, Mav, this isn't right."

This is how it happens, I guess. Five people can't make it work long term, but now I'm not just losing my three men, but my best friend too. How can you even begin to process a loss of that magnitude? I peek in the room and find Maverick on his knees in front of the bed where Lucy sits, his arms wrapped around her waist, his head in her lap, as he cries.

I back away, because it doesn't feel right to intrude on this moment. I've never seen him emotional, in fact, I wasn't sure it was even possible.

I motion to Sebastian and Gage to go back to the other bedroom. When we step inside, Sebastian asks with a choked sound, "If she leaves, are you going too?"

Gage growls at me, like I said I was going somewhere. "Nobody is fucking going anywhere. Got it?"

He runs his hand through his hair, and I know he doesn't even believe his own words, he's scared. And one thing I know about scared Gage is it's dangerous and fucking scary.

LUCY

Ever wish you could take back a moment? A word? A big fucking mistake? I really don't want to lose my family for any reason, and right now I'm torn between two families, aren't I? So which one matters more to me? Which one will be my lasting future?

Mav drops to his knees and wraps his arms around me as I sit there on the bed, and then he buries his face in my lap as he… he cries? Mav showing emotion like this is killing me, breaking my heart, because he doesn't do this. He isn't an emotional person, and this… is this me causing him this pain? Am I the monster in this scenario? Breaking a man's heart, because I'm trying yet again to fit into the picture my parents want to paint me in? Not writing my own story, because they want me to fit into theirs?

"I can't fucking lose you, baby, I can't lose any of you. Don't do this to me, don't do this," Mav says, before he lunges up from the floor and pushes me back on the bed, pinning me with his entire body. His face is pink, tear-stained, and more beautiful than I've ever seen it. It's not that I'm enjoying his pain, of course not, it's that he's looking at me like everything he wants is right in front of him, and he'll do anything to keep it. To keep me.

When you've been told enough times that you're not living the right way, even though you feel like you're living your best life, it starts to take hold. It chips away at the person you are, because you feel like you're literally doing it wrong. Everything. Living. How can you live wrong though? Is it wrong to be in love? Is it wrong to love more than one person?

"Aren't they right about me, Mav? Aren't I just a filthy whore who's worthless?" I sob, squeezing my eyes closed, so I won't have to see his expression, because I'm afraid of his response.

"Lucy," he barks, making me jump, and my eyes pop open to focus on him, as his hands surround my face, cupping my cheeks.

"You're not a whore, but you are our sweet little writer slut, and we love you. You can't leave, because if you do, you destroy all that we've built together. Do you really want to lose everything we've created? Can you really live without ever seeing any of us again?"

No. I don't want that. I don't want to be away from them, but how can I reconcile this life with what my parents want for me? Should I really just cut them out of my life to be the person they're so ashamed of?

"Lucy, look at me in the fucking eyes and tell me you don't love me. Haven't I shown you that you mean the world to me? All of you are my family, my chosen family, dammit. You think this shit was easy? You think we haven't all given up something to come together like this? We all did it because it's fucking worth it. Because we love each other. Because we just fucking belong together. Now if you can throw all of that away, just so you can be miserable here with your family in this fucking dismal country, then maybe you're not the woman I fell for." I stare at him as he watches me for a moment, then sighs. "I don't know what else to say, Lucy. Tell me what you need to hear, or shall I just tell Gage we need to tie you up until you fucking fall in line again?"

Again, I'm silent, because for a person who makes a living from words, I literally can't find any right now. I don't know the right thing to say. I don't know how to convey what I'm feeling, and I'm terrified I've just ruined everything for all of us. How could I just selfishly risk the happiness of all five of us, just because I'm still smarting over what my parents said? What if whatever I say comes out wrong, and makes things worse?

"Jesus, Lucy," Mav says, sighing as he pushes himself up from the bed, and backs up. "Maybe I'm not the right one to convince you, and I have no idea why that hurts so fucking much." No! He's walking away! I leap up from the bed and practically tackle him in the doorway, nearly knocking us both over with my momentum.

"Lucy, what the fuck?" Words are failing me again, but fuck it, who needs them? I grab his neck and rise up on my tiptoes, crashing my lips against his. If I can't tell him, I'll just have to show him.